kkktookmybabyaway

Well, our Fourth of July plans were scrapped so we went to see this. I stand corrected. Call me a prude, but how the hell did this get a PG-13 rating? Because they didn't say "fuck"? Please note I'm not complaining here.

9:45 a.m. • Well, I guess I really can celebrate Independence Day today since just minutes ago I made the final payment to that $22k credit card debt the better half accumulated over the years. I really should have just spread it out over July and August, but I’m so sick of seeing that shit on my statement I wanted it gone. Took about 13 months to pay this bitch off. Uh, yay and stuff. Part of me is pissed when I think what could have been done with that money instead of feeding it into a black hole, but now the black hole has been fed and I don’t have to worry about it anymore – or at least until Mrs. kkk decides she can be trusted with finances again.

Oh she's been getting that attitude since we started paying off the last card. I told her a few days ago that she can do whatever with all the money she makes from her second job, which had previously been going to credit-card debt.

11 p.m. • So Warrior was on Hannity and Colmes tonight. Do I need to say anything more? And good job Alan for defending the fans' right to boo during high school games against those two commies that you had on an earlier segment of the show. I can understand not wanting fans to swear and throw shit onto the field, but to not let people go "booo" during a free throw or a fourth-and-goal situation? Get out of here. • I'm sure there's a Bill Clinton joke to be made here, but it's late and the KFC I had earlier tonight has me wanting to go on the disabled list. Why oh why do I think eating this shit is a good idea? And to make matters worse, I think I chipped a tooth way in the back. Eh, I don't use those ones anyway. • So ESPN is doing these hippie "Day in the Life of" segments with athletes and I just saw one today featuring Jeff Garcia. Got married, eh? To a playmate no less. N*gga plz. I don't care if you like to toss the pigskin without a glove, but dude you're not fooling ANYONE with that performance. 10:30 p.m. • Yeah, and then when the price of flags triple, these same people that want Old Glories made in the USA will bitch about the cost. Yep. My state can't get so-called property tax reform in gear (which won't do anything for homeowners anyway), but we can work on this type of shit. Uh oh, I hope this doesn't make me a terrorist. 4 p.m. • So I just got home from work and turned on ESPN, which just started an "Outside the Lines" story. What what it? Oh Christ, I missed the lead-in, but they're talking pardons, probably because of the Scooter Libby story mentioned below. Tim to hear about Willie Mays Aikens again. For those that don't know, peep the Wik. For those too lazy, here's a rundown. Get it? Baseball, rundown? LOL2007. Gag, I really hate this puff piece, which I have seen at least three times already. So you and Cal Ripken Jr. feel you served enough time? That's nice. Hey, don't want to be locked up until 2012? Here's hint. You ready? OK, here it is... Don't sell crack to an undercover officer! 12:30 p.m. • So W. just gave Scooter Libby a pseudo-pardon. Whatever. Like I’ve said before when commenting on this situation, I don’t care. Of course I’m sure Democrats will say this is an OUTRAGE, but unless Libby is shares a cell with to Sandy “is that a classified document in your pants or are you just happy to see me” Burglar, I’m not paying attention. I previously commented that this is like the Republicans' Lewinsky-gate, but after seeing a few of Valerie Plame’s pics... ...I’d rather the roles were reversed and we were instead talking about Val giving oral pleasures. Yeah, I know she’s a whackjob, but it’s hard for her to bitch about “OMG MY TOP-SECRET COVER WAS EXPOSED” when her mouth is already full (or in my case, somewhat occupied). 8:45 a.m. • So after mowing the lawn yesterday afternoon I noticed that there was still time to catch my niece-in-law’s championship softball game. I figured what the hell and went. Even though they lost by a score of 16-7, it was no worse than being in attendance at a Pirates game. And, oddly enough, her team was actually in the game –– except for that one inning where the other team scored 5 runs. And those other two innings where the other team scored 4 runs. Oh, and the parents weren't that bad. In fact, they were rather supportive –– even when someone on the other team made a good play. Got home from work. Mowed the lawn. Attended some pee-wee sporting event. Makes me actually feel like an adult. Blech.

Ripper doesn't have to worry about this -- He's got a PERMANENT TAN! God, why did that "after school special/Saturday morning cartoon" PSA pop into my head all of a sudden? Anyone else remember those stupid “kids get involved in some drama/video stops and a celebrity tells us why being bad is wrong/kids resolve problem when video resumes” clips?

8:30 p.m. • Holy crap. I'm glad I don't work drive-thru anymore. I'd probably be killed. And Penn Hills is not that far from where I live. It’s kinda funny because the reason young chicks work cashier jobs is to put a pretty face out there so men won’t be as likely to bitch about their order. And forget about saying “thank you,” just get my order right and I’m good. 10 a.m. • So last night there was supposed to be some big “walk out” at the Pirates game to protest the fact that this team is bad. And what happened? You want to send a real message to management? DON’T GO TO THE FUCKING GAMES! Hell, I bet a number of these protestors probably bought snacks from the refreshment stands. I feel for you people because putting your heart into a team with 14 consecutive years of losing must feel pretty bad, but the funny thing is despite all this suck the Pirates still make a profit. In a way, you got to respect that. Pirates management. It’s a lot like Hitler. Remember, the Steelers pretty much did jack shit for 40 years before winning four Super Bowls during the 1970s. Only 26 more years to go, Bucco fans. 9:45 a.m. • A final update on Mohammad Mouse. Now this is how a series finale should be done. Here's the video. • You know, I actually think this isn’t such a bad idea. When I worked at the Quickie Mart, it was about that time when we had to really start carding people or else the Anti-Tobacco Gestapo would be hitting us well-to-do cashiers with fines and shit. We were told that we had to card anyone that looked younger than 27. But you have to be only 18 to purchase tobacco? Didn’t matter. Our magic number was 27. And you can imagine how great this went over with our customers. My usual answer to the responses below were something like, “Because I was told to card anyone that didn’t look 27 because Joe Camel is making our kids smoke.” “OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS?” “DO I LOOK 18?” “THIS IS SO STUPID!” “WHY DO I HAVE TO SHOW YOU MY ID?!” Now seriously, I ask you: What is so difficult about pulling out your driver’s license? I’ve done it before with no problem. Hell, whenever I go to purchase alcohol, I have my ID out by the time I get to the register, and I’m older than the big 2-7. If it’s the LAW that EVERYONE has to whip out ID in order to purchase booze, and it makes the lives of the many cashiers in the great state of Tennessee easier, then I say why not. 9:30 a.m. • Remember that shit a while back about OMG Captian America is dead? Peep the final paragraph.

My friend, you're preaching to the choir.

Actually, I was surprised. Not only did they keep score, but also the teams were TAUNTING each other. "Hey batter batter..." "Left fielder: 'Strike' Center-left fielder: 'Her' Center-right fielder: 'Out!'" *Some long-ass chants I couldn't remember* There was a 10-run mercy rule though, which was almost used in the 4th inning, but the niece's team was able to score some runs, thus narrowing the gap to 11-7. That was before the other team's 5-run 5th, but whatever. They got trophies for coming in second (in league play, not for losing the game).

STFU n00b –– wait, you've been a member for more than a year. Nevermind. You're right. Problem for me is I don't even bother to follow the Pirates as you seem to do. I remember during the 2003 trade deadline it seemed they were practicially giving away players. Assuming you're from the Shittsburgh area, I'll mention this: When the new stadium talk was under way in the mid- to late-1990s, the Pirates said they needed a new ballpark to be more "competitive." That doesn't mean they'll actually win.

3 p.m. • So my one co-worker died on Friday at the age of 48. No, I didn't hate her. We didn't talk much, but I have nothing bad to say, even though from what I heard she didn't do all that much work. Whatever. Not my problem. Don't care. Now our organization, which prides itself on being a close-knit "family," a crock of shit if there ever was one, just went to view her body at the funeral home. Everyone, that is, except me. Like I said before, I have nothing against her, but we rarely, if ever, interacted. I learned a long time ago to separate business from personal life at this place, which is a shame because I actually like being friends with the people I work with (ask Swift Terror, who would probably regret knowing me). Did I do the wrong thing? If you say "yes," I wouldn't argue (much), but when a place squashes any kind of camaradie and runs an impersonal, uncaring atmosphere, don't be shocked when the help acts accordingly. • If you thought that last blurb was depressing, and you loathe the current Mexican invasion into the U.S. of A., then this video clip won’t be much better. But hey, it’s got the Benny Hill theme, so it’s all good. 9 a.m. • You know, I don’t think I’d want to be employed at a brothel for women, aside from the fact I would probably get no work whatsoever. Think about it. You would probably have to bang fat chicks, and you wouldn’t be able to get drunk beforehand. And how exactly does a male brothel work? If your man finishes before you do, does a sub come in –– I would guess a chick pays for a certain amount of time. I have always assumed a female prostitute charges per ejaculation. And I didn't even make one "liquor license" joke.

No. They're happy with their bobbleheads and the fact they have still have their beloved Buccos, no matter how terrible they are. People go to PNC Park for the stadium and its attractions, not because of the Pirates. And that is a big part of the problem.

4:30 p.m. • So Philly's mayor has nothing better to do on a workday than wait in line for an iPhone. I remember for years this one guy with a mohawk always ran for office in Shittsburgh. He was named "Mad Dog." Interesting fellow. 9 a.m. • So yesterday I left work early to do this interview thing. The place was 60 miles away, and I gave myself more than two hours to get there. Turns out I needed another 60 minutes due to road construction. OK, I get that roads need to be maintained, but when you shut down MILES of highway only to have FIVE people wearing shiny yellow jerseys standing around some 10-foot hole backing up miles of traffic, I can understand why some people get road rage in these instances. But that really wasn’t a problem for me on this day because when I arranged this interview earlier in the week I let the receptionist chick know that I was coming from a distance and had set up a time just in case of a mishap like this. I’ve done this shit enough times in the past to know things like so-called “work areas,” accidents and shoddy directions can happen. No problem. However, there were some other things that I expected to happen, and sadly I wasn’t let down. When I got the call back early in the week from this place about the position I applied to, I had a list of questions I wanted answered right off the bat. After all, what’s the point of going through all this shit when I can nip it in the bud with an inquiry about the job from the comfort of my own home? Unfortunately, this chick (I’ll call her Kelly) had no idea how to answer my questions. Turns out she’s not a recruiter but the receptionist. However, I’m not going to rag on Kelly because during the phone conversation she told me she was recently hired and trying to learn while on the job. I can respect that. Never once was I rude, condescending or patronizing to her. The questions I had for her she tried her best to answer, and that’s all you can ask of a person. When I arranged for my interview, I asked what would be involved and what materials should I bring with me. I was told the whole procedure (including filling out the application form) would only take 30 minutes, and that all I needed to bring with me was my employment information for the last three years. Yeah, right. When I entered this place’s office, I saw some late-teen/early 20something sitting at a desk talking on the phone while wearing in a low-cut shirt and skimpy dress. After her work-related conversation ended, I replied, “Hello, you must be Kelly.” The reason for this is because not only did I recognize her voice, but I also noticed that there was a sheet of paper taped to the wall behind her that had all the information to the questions I had asked of her earlier in the week. Now this is where the fun really begins. Kelly asks me “Did you bring your driver’s license, social security card and birth certificate?” She hands me the application I had to fill out, and, sure enough, the form asks me to fill out employment information not from the past three years, but rather from the past three employers. There was also a section for references, requesting names, addresses and all that good stuff. Sadly, I was ready for this sort of thing, because in the past when I dealt with these staffing organizations they had no clue as to what they were doing. As I filled out the form I was seated next to two women. At least one of them was interviewing for the same position I me. Now when you already have a job and are interviewing for another position, your demeanor is much more different than if you are unemployed and looking for work. Christ I hate that feeling. That sense of dread and all-or-nothingness. But when you know a paycheck is already coming to your bank account, your mood is much lighter. However, it seemed this chick was a bit on the nervous side, so I left her alone. The other gal, some black chick with an accent I couldn’t pinpoint, asked me for the time and then started fretting about the application she was filling out, mentioning that she had to be out of her by 4:30 p.m.. Uh, OK. The first chick got called to do a typing test and it was just me, the black chick and Kelly. Let me tell you something about Kelly. If she wasn’t an example of a “Butterface,” I don’t know who is. From the minute you look at her from the neck down, you know why she got this job. Great figure, greater tan legs, not a large rack but perfectly in proportion to the rest of her body. Her face? Well. I didn’t look at it long enough because I didn’t want her to catch me staring, but I fear the poor girl has been battling acne for quite a long time. There was a crater/scab/whatever in the middle of her forehead so large that at first I wondered if it was one of those red dots Indian women put on themselves. But whatever. She was nice enough, and you could tell she was trying at her job, which, from my experiences, is a rarity at her type of employment. I even got a bit more information about the position out of her through cordial chitchat. (They were seeking several hirees and there were a number of cancelled appointments.) Of course, after I turned in the application, she then gave me some speling and grammer tests. Oh I hate these fucking things. Sad, isn’t it? I’m a JOURNALISM grad and I suck at the English language. I wasn’t as annoyed about actually taking these tests as I was at the fact this place was closing at 5 p.m. and the “half hour” I would be spending at this place was already past the 45-minute mark with the typing test and interview still to be completed. Well, long story short, after I completed these tests I went into another room and started typing. My score: 67 words per minute, 1 error. It was now just after 5 p.m. and the office was closed. I went with some other chick to do the interview, and at 5:45 p.m., 105 minutes after I showed up, I was out the door. Did I get this job? Don’t really know. Don’t really care. I’ve done so many of these interviews in the past that I don’t concern myself with worrying about something I may have said or did to throw my chances of getting a job with the interviewer out the window. I’ve learned that in many instances the employer already has a set candidate in mind, and no matter what you do to prove yourself you’re just not “that fit.” Nothing personal. Just business. Funny enough, in many of these instances I’m also sitting at my side of the table thinking, “Do I really want to see you for eight hours a day, 40 hours a week?” I’ll find out sometime this week if I’ll be brought back for training, which is fine. Even if I don’t get this job, as I mentioned in yesterday’s entry, I have my resume and (surprisingly good) test scores seeded at this place, which does recruiting in my neck of the woods, away from Shittsburgh region. Ideally, I’d like to try out this at-home position as a second job, and if I like it perhaps I’ll be able to quit my current place of employment and focus solely on this one, which is a pay-for-what-you-produce type of thing. Either way, I got out of my office three hours early today, and if nothing else, this trip was worth it just for that alone.

Most of the time it's them who hop on when I'm in the recliner or laying on the couch. But to answer the question, I just pick them up, sit down, and put them back where they were. If they don't like it, then they can get a job and pay some bills.

I'm sorry, but this PG-13 rating is still sending up red flags for me. I'm sure there will be an UNRATED version of this when it comes out on DVD.

The better half dragged me to see this last night. I saw it. I shrugged. I wish I would have made it to an earlier show and not paid full price for this. I won't derail the thread any further.

kkk's Top 103 Posters Number 19 It was dark times for the Conservative Brigade. Even though there was strength in numbers, it lacked one thing all groups need. A lawyer. Not only are these bottom-feeders necessary to fend off lawsuits, but they can also find out when we were wronged, thus turning the legal tables on the unsuspecting. But who can be trusted to head such an important duty? Vyce? Hell no. He likes those queers too much. That’s when it all became clear. It’s hard to go wrong with someone that starts a thread titled: “ Mikey was at my school...” followed by “No word on if the gym collapsed.....” You’re hired. And I don't even know if you're Jewish. What was the point of all this? I don’t know. I just like the guy. And he was listing why ESPN sucks before it became popular. Well, at least before it got some really big threads devoted to the subject. I guess I might as well do the dramatic introduction like I did with yesterday’s entry, providing people didn’t click on the links above, thus running any kind of surprise element. Number 19 is… …The Real World’s Champion. 8:30 p.m. • LOL. Enough said. 7:45 p.m. • Don't you know that rationing fuel is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male? 7:30 p.m. • Aww, poor baby. Watch his temper tantrum in court here. Caution: I had a crappy time with the video. And just what was this teen convicted of? And I bet he was such a good boy, too, eh Ms. Johnson? Why the fuck to parents cry when their little monsters get convicted for shit like this? Rather than wail into a Kleenex, they ought to be wailing on the back of their kid's head, saying, "What the hell is the matter with you?" 5:15 p.m. • So Neal Cavuto had Tommy Chong on for a segment today talking about immigration. Oh my God. • And I'm stealing this from the other place because it pretty much sums up my thoughts on today's events in Washington. 1:45 p.m. • Chyna is on Jim Rome's radio show and caller just asked her if there was any truth that Vince McMahon wanted Owen Hart dead as payback for the way Bret left the company. 9 a.m. • Aw, this is a shame. Yeah, Tony Snow, this is going to end up being on "tough" bill (see the 8 a.m. entry). 8 a.m. • So I’m listening to Dennis Miller’s show yesterday and he’s talking with Tony Snow about this amnesty program. Tony, I feel you, and I’m sure there are measures to “protect the border” in the pages upon pages of this abortion, but if you actually think this bill is going to actually do any of these “lockdown” measures then you’re on drugs. All this stuff about “there’s no line jumping,” “they have to pay fines,” “you don’t have access to the welfare system,” and “you have to learn English” that I’m hearing you say, Tony, as I’ve heard you say on other shows as well, is NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. You actually think Ted Kennedy will go along with this shit? Once this invasion bill gets approved, then the focus will shift as follows. There’s no line jumping. Uncle Ted: Come on, guys, Jose is away from his wife and 10 kids that have to wait in front of 2 million others people. Let them pass –– Joes’s not a TERRORIST. What are you, a RACIST?! They have to pay fines. Uncle Ted: Come on guys, Jose is picking lettuce 12 hours a day, seven days a week. He can’t afford to pay this fine. You’re taking away food off his family’s table. Joes’s not a TERRORIST. What are you, a RACIST?! You don’t have access to the welfare system. Uncle Ted: Come on guys, Jose is picking lettuce 12 hours a day, seven days a week. He can’t afford the medical insurance to pay for all those kids. Joes’s not a TERRORIST. What are you, a RACIST?! You have to learn English. Uncle Ted: Come on guys, Jose is picking lettuce 12 hours a day, seven days a week. He can’t immediately learn English right away. We need to cater to his needs or else we’d be a RACIST country. While we’re at it, we also have to make sure his 10 kids that are taking up space in our fine government schools get the same treatment. So please forgive me if I don’t seem all that confident in this bill’s ability to enforce laws that aren’t already being enforced and view this pro-invasion legislation as just that.

11:30 a.m. • So I’m driving 120 miles round-trip in a few hours for a job interview. You know what I love about interviewing when you already have a job? Not having to kiss the interviewer’s backside. When you’re without a paycheck it’s sometimes depressing to have to try and justify getting hired by someone whose job you could do better than them. I really don’t have a feel for this one –– I’m dealing with a staffing agency, and my experiences with these places aren’t all that good. But I’ve got 3 comp hours to spend this pay period, so I figure why the hell not. Worst case scenario I have my resume on file for an area that’s not near the Shittsburgh region, which could give me some sort of edge with jobs near my community. Well, actually, the worst case would be opening my mouth and blasting these people for their inability to do their jobs, but I won’t be doing that. I think.

I think San Francisco has been playing cornhole long before you guys.

I missed the first half of it, so I don't know. They didn't mention it when I was listening.

No. They didn't agree with the caller, but they used it to springboard into "Owen didn't want to do it/Vince made him do it" talk. Let's just say after from what I heard, Chyna won't be asked to make any surprise returns to WWE prgrams. She also said she wants to do movies and shows where she can do "self-help" stuff. Also, another caller was talking about why wrestlers don't have health insurance/pensions/etc. My understanding was that they are hired as "independent contractors," or something of the sort. Oh, she also said she didn't do roids, prompting some interesting e-mails after she left.

kkk's Top 103 Posters Number 20 OK, now the competition is getting fast and fierce; 83 have been listed, 20 remain. The swerves, the pageantry, the… oh let’s get this fucking thing over with. This poster has been a mod for some time, and unlike other TSM’ers in leadership positions, this guy is actually pretty well respected for his modding and knowledge of the folder’s contents in which he patrols with a big stick. That’s wooden. And made in Louisville. Well, maybe not Lousville – I have no idea what with globalization and all. Anyway, even though the guy’s a commie, much like another Pennsylvanian on this list he’s from the eastern part of the state, so it’s only natural he would fear self-reliance. Nevertheless, he puts up with my retarded jokes and AIM questions regarding America’s National Pastime – all while having the power to ban me in the blink of an eye. I’m talking of course about… ...Al Keiper. 3 p.m. • Yesterday I talked a bit about my pro wrestling viewing habits. Someone asked me what turned me off from the product. I guess the best answer is I got bored. Sometime in late 2001-early 2002 I was sitting on the couch watching Raw and thought to myself, “Why am I watching this?” I changed the channel and didn’t look back. Every now and then I’ll flip on Raw just to see if I can recognize today’s “Superstars.” It’s a hit-or-miss affair. Did the consolidation of the major American wrestling companies have something to do with this? I would have to say probably. In the late 1990s I remember watching WWF, WCW and ECW programming. When Vince McMahon swallowed up the competition the product seemed stale, especially after the whole “Invasion” angle. Oh well, it’s not like I can’t find anything else to waste my time on. I have no clue as to the financial state of the WWE, nor do I care. I have no idea what happened in the last few Wrestlemania, nor do I care. Most of my wrestling info comes from glancing at the WWE folder here and looking at the latest thread. If it’s any good I might click on it. And sadly, like I said yesterday, most of these threads involve someone dying. Who knows, maybe one day I'll tune into pro wrestling on a regular basis. Not sure when that day will come, though. 7 a.m. • So I haven't gotten any interesting "enlarge your penis" ads in my e-mail bin as of late. I get them, but many of the ads aren't all that creative or funny. However, this one below pimping some "penis patch" to enlarge my member the "natural" way makes the cut. Peep the freak on the right.

There are none for the TOP 20~! The envelopes are sealed and locked away in the safe. Any comments can be done here. BTW: I think the search feature for blogs is messed up. I couldn't get anything before June.

Eh, I said the same kind of things in my CCD class back in the day. Now that's some funny shit.

Oh put it back up.