kkktookmybabyaway

Eh, I'd bang her. However, when I was watching that Star Wars special I thought, "God, she looks so young." At least I know Morgan Webb's the same age as Mrs. kkk. Wait, that chick is 25?

And think of all the gas we'll save with one more driver off the roads.

8:45 p.m. • I actually endorse a person's "right" to die. Look, if you lived a long life and suffering from terminal cancer and want to exit stage left early a little early, then so be it. Now if you are 30something, "depressed" and want to end it all, then go ahead. It'll save me from having to hear you bitch about how much life sucks. • So how does one pass through the screening process in order to get into an Aussie gay bar: dress nice, look thin, fuck the bouncer? 12:15 p.m. • I hope these assholes get caught just so I can hear them and their ACLU lawyers say they were within their First Amendment rights. Hopefully someone will then try to see if putting two in each of thier skulls is within his (or her) Second Amendment rights.

The Pirates have been doing this for the past 14 years, and they don't even have a Kobe on their team.

Good for him.

What happened now?

I saw that, too. Unless you get a boner for that Attack of the Show chick (she did a bit in Leia's Jabba-slut dress), you didn't miss much. Was funny to see all the people who played the Fetts at one time or another.

6 p.m. • 14-10 Pirates. I was right (see 1:30 p.m. entry). • You may have already already, but I don't care. I saw it for the first time today. 1:30 p.m. • So I was flipping in-between the Braves and Reds games this afternoon, and just watched the unfortunate Reds pitcher give up 5 in the first to the Pirates and left the game with runners on first and second base with still NOBODY out. Ouch. Speaking of baseball, my MVP franchise is somewhere in mid-May, and when I played my A and MLB games this past week (both were on the same “day,” according to the calendar) I hit a grand slam in each contest. Never hit one before in any league, so to do so twice was weird. I hear cheering. Guess the Reds got someone out. I just heard Zach Duke is pitching for Shittsburgh. Cincinnati’s still in this one. 8 a.m. • Uh, checkmate? But that bad joke isn't the reason I posted this story. "Tortuing them to death"? Oh boo-hoo you fucking commie. Perhaps if the condemned wasn't a drug user, then the State could find a worthwhile vein to penetrate. Like I said before, I’m not always a fan of capital punishment, but that’s not because I feel bad for blacks/Latinos/the poor/etc. being given the needle. You can’t take back an completed death penalty. All it takes is one lying witness or DNA test to set someone convicted free. However, if you are filmed robbing a store and shooting the clerk, seen on camera trying to end the life of a police officer that pulled you over for a busted taillight, then you die. No questions asked. No 20,000 appeals. No cell with Internet access. No trying to figure out why you did what you did. You die. Oh yeah, back to solving the crisis of torturing prisoners to death. You don’t have to spend 20 minutes finding a vein when you put a gun in a person’s mouth.

I saw the final segment of this show, and they talked about Mary Lou Retton not buckling in her kids. That's all.

9 p.m. • Movie spoilers ahead – you’ve been warned so don’t bitch. So I was flipping through the channels today and came across the conclusion of one of the worst movies I ever spent more than five minutes watching: Mr. Magoo. Holy Christ was this one piece of shit, and the sad thing is when this appeared in the theaters it actually SOLD OUT several times during my stint as a cinema employee. Later on I caught the tail end of Sniper. It was OK for what it was – I’ve seen worse. Much worse. This prompted me to keep the television on Spike in order to watch Sniper 2, which was on afterward. Of course, the ADD in me flipped channels after they shot some guy. OK, so I lied – I was also watching the Cubs/Dodgers game and FAUX News Watchlol2007. They may have explained this at the start of Sniper 2 when Tom Berenger was leading some rednecks on a deer-hunting expedition, but I would have missed the dialogue: how did they explain Tom being able to fire a gun when his trigger finger got lopped off in the previous movie? • Lindsay Lohan got drunk and wrecked her car, allegedly. I'm not going to link the story because I don't care. However, what I will post is the picture used in the article. Do we have a match?

Lewis has said some things about race in the past, but I don't think he was seeing it in a black-and-white manner during that interview. Have all the Bengals players arrested been black?

kkk's Top 103 Posters Number 24: Teke184/cop/whoever Now some of you may be wondering why the 2005 Lucky Strikes Cigarettes Tar Bowl Champion is on my list – wasn’t he the one who banned Frigid over the infamous “sniper” remark that in turn triggered a shitstorm the likes of which has rarely been equaled at this place? To this I say, “yeah, and so what?” If Teke didn’t ban Frigid that whole thread, not to mention the others that spawned from it, wouldn't have been as entertaining as they were. Besides, it’s not like the other two points in this love triangle aren’t being represented. Slapnuts is on this list, as is Frigid, who went on to cause havoc with an entirely separate message board. Besides, teke can also find me entertaining at times … wait a second, that was tekecop. Are they the same? I don’t know. Either way, both names begin with “teke,” so that’s close enough for me. He also helped a brotha out in a previous kkk Bowl season and lets us know of Michael Vick’s Doggie-gate scandal with frequent updates over at the other place. And believe me, if there’s one thing I want to know about it’s how someone is pissing away his God-given athletic fortune just to see a few bitches go at it. And now a word or two from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed. From SFA Jack: From Cancer Marney: 5:15 p.m. • OK, so for this past week on Jim Rome’s ESPN show he’s had some guy from Chicago and this black chick on his panel, and I’ve been digging this pair, especially the latter one. Something that turns me off about people that get on these shows is that they look like they don’t want to be there. This chick is an exception to this rule. But then we got to today with the Marvin Lewis “the cops are profiling my team” story. During this topic she brings up the “the Cincy po-pos have killed 15 black men since 1995." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! OK, people, for those that haven’t lived in the southwestern Ohio region, let me fill you in on something. Whenever you hear this “15 black men killed by the PO-lice since 1995,” let me fill you in on a little secret. Pity, and I liked her, too. 12 p.m. • Too bad pops wasn't with his lush son driving from bar to bar. Now I see where Joshy got his sense of personal responsibility from. 10 a.m. • This morning I was thumbing through some old newspapers at work in search for print ads whose ideas I can steal pay homage to when I create ads of my own. Recently, my local newspaper printed its “best of” businesses for the year – you know, “best steaks,” “best hospital,” etc. Well, the winner of “best vet” was this asshole who we originally took our three cats to until Shadow got sick and we found out this guy had no idea what he was doing. When I informed the better half via e-mail this morning about this, she responded by saying… Yeah, she’ll be fuming over this one for the next day or two. • While on the subject of work, I have to tell this story. About a week ago my idiot boss was talking about something or other, and he said to me that “we must bend over backwards for our customers.” Now just hearing these words come out of his mouth is funny enough, but yesterday the real punch line arrived. Long story short. In our organization’s most recent publication, I created an ad for some yearlong promotion. Customers started receiving the publication on Wednesday and yesterday someone actually called in to inquire about said ad. This is what the ad tells you to do, after all. When my idiot boss was told by one of his secretaries (we are all his secretaries) that someone had questions about this promotion, he told the secretary to tell the caller that more information will be mailed out in a mass mailing that he hasn’t even planned yet and will take at least two weeks to complete. Bend over backwards indeed.

10 p.m. • So I get the following subject line in my e-mail inbox. You know I just have to click on this one. I do and get the following. I'm guessing the Christian way of getting out of debt does not involve acting in gay pornos. 7 p.m. • Yeah, shut down your pumps to show up Big Oil. Great idea. This part I love. Well, if you can't afford to fill your SUV up with go juice, then maybe you shouldn't have purchased the SUV. If I had a choice to pay $1/gallon or $3/gallon for gas, I'd glady take the former, but I just love all the whining people do when the price of fuel goes up. OMG I CAN'T GO ON VACATION NOW THX A LOT GEORGE W. BUSH. Want to point out that prices will go up due to the cost of gas increasing? I'm with you. But for people that have problems with their budget due to having to pay a few extra dollars per week for gas? You folks had problems way before the annual summer price spike. (For the record, whenever gas goes up by $1, that usually means the kkk household has to pay $10/week at the pump. Yet somehow we manage to go on living.) 5 p.m. • I finally got around to watching that clip of LeBron James passing the ball to a teammate instead of trying to make the shot. James did the right thing, I don't care what anybody says. 10 a.m. • It's a shame that a certain movie wasn't released a year or so later than it actually was. If so, and the film was shown in theaters after this story broke, the producers could have used the line, "based on a true story."

8:30 p.m. • So the fat dyke is mad because the Republican on the show wouldn't defend her blathering? I care more about making sure all the stool from my browneye is wiped off after taking a crap than I do about anything that goes on the "View," but this is hilarious. Maybe that Hasselbeck chick thinks you are a fucking loon and thus doesn't care what the RIGHT-WING pundits on cable news shows have to say about you. Now I have to go yell at EricMM for not defending me when Jobber of the Week called me a fucking idiot because I said that driving SUVs to the grocery store was great for the environment. 1:30 p.m. • And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call of the Day (or whenever I feel like doing this). This guy named Pablo gets on the air with his wife and tells the following story. They went to some event that was work-related and went to a bar afterward with some of his co-workers. His wife can’t find him for an hour, and when she finally sees Pablo, he’s with some chick who gives him a hug and kiss on the cheek. Pablo says this lady is a client of one of his co-workers, and although he has a clear recollection of that night’s events he can’t remember why she hugged/kissed him and what he was doing for that hour when he was M.I.A. He also doesn't understand why his wife, the mother of his kid, is upset. Oh, Pablo. 8:30 a.m. • And to think the Steelers don't even hire cheeleaders. 7 a.m. • Uh … OMGWESTCOASTBIAS~? Don’t care. I know Boston tanked their games at the end to get a better chance at the draft's top pick, so payback’s a bitch (not sure how Memphis, Portland and Seattle played down the home stretch). Who do I take: Oden or Durant. Christ, I don’t know. I don’t watch college basketball unless it’s in late March, I hope everyone that gets drafted makes lots of money. So there. • I watched the first period of the Wings/Ducks game last night, and wow were there quite a few empty seats, much like there was back in Game 4. I remember a while Bill Plaschke said on Around the Horn that the L.A. Times were no longer assigning someone to a Anaheim Ducks beat, and now I understand why.

Oh those people that applaude Rosie: to think each of their votes counts just the same as mine *shudder*.

kkk's Top 103 Posters Number 25: Flyboy I liked the little bugger, in a master-likes-his-slave sort of way. It’s been a while since I chatted with the tyke, but the one thing I will always remember was the time he asked me for help on an assignment. He had to do some weekly hippie “current events” assignment, where, if memory serves, he had to take a current event and compare it to something that happened a while before that. Asking me for schoolwork help – you know a person doesn’t give a shit about his grade when this transpires. After a quick search of the news wires, I told him why not compare the Berlin Wall to the wall that the Jews were building at the time to keep out those pesky Muslims. He liked the idea and went with it – too bad he wasn’t doing an assignment about the U.S. building a wall to keep out Mexicans. Oh, and he likes them white, err, non-black girls, too. Well, except for one, anyway. 3 p.m. • Swift Terror stole a bit of my thunder regarding some of the media’s comments about LeBron James and his late-game decisions on whether to take the final shot or pass it off to an open teammate. I didn’t watch last night’s Cavs/Pistons game. Well, actually, I turned on the game at halftime, saw the stats, noticed the Cavs were ahead in some key categories like offensive rebounds and points off turnovers and thought “are they in the lead?” I then saw that Cleveland was up by six points. I then watched Detroit score the next seven points at the start of the third quarter and turned off the television. This morning I had on ESPN’s Mike and Mike on, and the show's skinny Jew was ragging on James for passing it off to other teammates in the game’s final seconds. The first thought that came into my head was Game 6 of the ’93 NBA finals when Jordan dished it off to a wide-open John Paxon for the series-clinching three-pointer (I forgot about Kerr's shot). I haven’t seen the game footage yet from James’ “moment of truth,” but at this time I’m siding with LeBron. If he had taken the shot and missed, or got to the free-throw line and didn’t make both shots, he’d be criticized for A) choking, or B) not passing it to an open teammate. You can make an argument about James not playing better when the game is on the line, but I’m not going to fault him for passing off to teammates who are set and ready to make an open shot. Even though I listen to Jim Rome’s show and watch his television show (though not on an everyday basis), I had to tune into his third hour and laugh when I heard him defend his take on this subject and include that “well Michael wouldn’t have passed it to Paxon from 23 feet away” and that “Steve Kerr isn’t Donell Marshall.” • Time for more PETA fun. You know, I actually agree with PETA on this one. Forget that fact that the article said “Mike (the now deceased tiger) was moved last year into a $3 million home, complete with a bathing pool and waterfall, that offered 15,000 square feet of living space.” I say let the next Mike roam free. Let’s drop him off, at, say, 501 Front Street in Norfolk, Va. Also, let's not feed him before being released, thus allowing Mikey II to experience the thrill of hunting for his food. Then again, exactly how much sustenance can a big kitty get by munching on hippie vegans? Guess that means he’ll have to kill a few more. That’s a shame. 9 a.m. • Boortz just had a great line regarding Michael Vick and his dog-fighting troubles. I wonder if the Georgia Dome will be playing "Who Let The Dogs Out" at Falcon home games this year. I'm sure this will be a popular tune on the road. Here's the story if you're not up-to-date on this, or if you don't read Teke's "Vick Updates" at the other place.

Nature will find a way.

No Fun League indeed. However, I think a case could be made that "Who let the dogs out" is a commonly used track and has no bearing on certain players on the field.

31 years, and counting. That's what I'm doing. Waiting. And waiting... And waiting...

Joe was entertaining on Hannity and Colmes when he was a Rep. I stayed away from his MSNBC show, though.

10 a.m. I’m not ragging on Scroby here – lord knows I have my share of low-paying job stories – it’s just his tale of a video game store boss taking advantage of customers made me chuckle. It’s funny to think what constitutes taking advantage of a client depending on your line of work. The reason I mention this is that my one idiot boss always fucks over our customers – Scroby's post brought to mind of a situation earlier this year was when the idiot tried to get someone to convert to a different annuity so we could extend that person’s surrender charge. Problem was, that annuity didn’t best serve her. She’s older and the annuity that she was in was a better deal for her, so when my co-worker (who is in charge of financial services in name only) stumbled upon the paperwork for this annuity plan transfer, he immediately contacted this person and got her to keep her current annuity plan. This account was well into five figures and she would have been screwed out of at least $500 per year while having to keep her money with us for another six years in order to avoid early withdrawal penalties if she would have went with the idiot's plan, which could have been illegal because it's likely he didn't tell the customer, among other things, about the extended surrender charge, which is a very big "no-no." 9:30 a.m. • I might not be going the route you may think I’m going with this one. No, I don't have a Quickie Mart story of my own that's similar. In fact, I tried to minimize my chatting with Lottery People. I didn't give a shit if there was one scratch-off ticket left on a roll or if a new roll was on display. This is what popped in my head upon reading this story: A Quickie Mart-employed single mother with NINE maxed out credit cards plus almost $9,000 in debt for an ASSOCIATE’S DEGREE plays the lottery. (I’m sure this isn’t the first time she’s spent money on government-sanctioned gambling.) Why am I not surprised? I will give her credit. (Well, maybe not “credit” because she’ll max it out within a week – how about “props?) She went with the 20 payments instead of the lump sum, due to her inability to budget money.

6:15 p.m. • Since Smues is talking about perv teachers from back in the day, I felt inspired to tell my story regarding this subject. I almost failed eighth grade because… I was an only child. I had divorced parents. They were passing a black kid instead of me – damn affirmative action. Rap music told me school was for bustas. My government school didn't provide me with an adequate learning environment. ...I was a lazy piece of shit that played video games all day instead of studying (you can't just beat "Ghouls 'n Ghosts" on the first try). One of the classes I failed was science. I’ve always hated this subject, but this year was especially bad because I hated my teacher. The guy’s name was Mr. Kuniak, and he was one of those “cool” teachers. Or at least he was “cool” with the jocks and cheerleaders and all those other tools that did things like homework and reading from textbooks. Conformists. Anyway, every quarter we got these progress reports called “green sheets.” Generally, the dreaded progress report was sent out in subjects you were failing midway through a grading period, but Mr. Kuniak gave everyone a green sheet that had to be signed by a parent. Of course, while everyone was taking home sheets of paper reading “Johhny is getting 105 percent in my class,” I was failing, and failing bad. These sheets also had to be turned back in within a few days. Of course, I just kept mine and didn’t bother to get it signed or turned in. After a few weeks, and constant badgering from Mr. Kuniak, I finally signed my mom’s name and gave it to him. There was one little problem. I forgot to erase the “Get a woman faggot” sentence I wrote on the green sheet when I first got this document highlighting my academic deficiencies. Oops. As I gave this sheet to him I saw my handiwork and tried to take it away from him. I failed. If I was ever to experience a bowel movement in class, this would have been it. Mr. Kuniak looked at the sheet and the following conversation took place. “kkk, is this your handwriting?” “Yes.” “Erase it. It’s unacceptable.” That was it. My friend who was sitting next to me at our lab table took one look at what I wrote and was reduced to years in mere seconds from laughing so hard. You know a teacher doesn’t give a shit about you when they don’t even care you mocked their alleged sexual preference. To add to this story, a few years later, while trying out for the junior varsity team, I found out on the first day of try-outs that Mr. Kuniak was the JV coach. Surprisingly enough, we were quite civil to each other. Maybe he just figured he had to deal with me for a few days before cutting me – my basketball skills weren’t much better than my ability to remember what was on the periodic table. I saw him a few times after that and there didn’t appear to be any leftover hatred. What has this got to do with Smues’ entry? Years after graduating high school, I heard Mr. Kuniak got fired for sexual harassment or something like that from a female student. Do I think he did anything? Dunno. I’m guessing his easy-going nature was probably used against him by some chick who was upset at not getting an A+++. Then again, he might have been banging the color guard all this time without me knowing. One thing’s for certain, though. I don’t believe he was gay. 12:30 p.m. • If Jimmy Carter rambles on about the WORST ADMINISTRATION IN OUR HISTORY, and everybody except for Medium-Large Media, pays attention, did he really say it at all? Bill Clinton talking smack about W. I can understand – at least he had THEGREATESTECONOMYINTHEHISTORYOFTHEWORLD to fall back on. Jimmy, oh Jimmy.

*Raises hand.* Can't remember if I liked them though. Do they still make Rockey Road cereal?

I saw the first few pages. I don't want it.

10 p.m. • Yet another reason why the better half and I better not produce any children (besides the hundreds of other reasons that go something like, “I’m too lazy to be a parent,” “I’d rather spend money on myelf” and “I hate children.” Yesterday morning the alarm went off and I proceeded to trudge off to the bathroom for my daily shower. We feed the kids early in the morning and before we go to bed at night, so they’ve picked up when feeding time is and when I get up at 6:15 a.m. they start milling around; either that or they directly hop onto Mrs. kkk and start meowing in her face. Well, this morning Max was following me into the bathroom and started hanging out around the toilet. Weired. Before we got a drinking fountain for the three of them, Max would stand around the toilet when he wanted “fresh” running water. I thought nothing of this. As I take my morning shower, the better half feeds Max, Dessa and JJ. Well this morning I guess Max wasn’t eating, which prompted her to be in near-hysterics and telling me he wasn’t eating his dry food. Uh, OK. Now we’ve had some problems with his pee-hole being clogged, but he only lost his appetite when this condition got severe, and he displayed no evidence of having strained litterbox activity. When I got out of the shower I looked into their feeding room and saw that Max was going to town on the water fountain. I asked Mrs. kkk if she gave them fresh water. She said yes. After a while when Max was finished I gave him some of his food, which he ate. I pointed this out to the better half, but she still said she was still “worried.” OK. Well, the special food we buy the three of them contains no filler, so the vet told us that it’s common for them to not eat everything we give them. Going about my Friday morning routine, which included taking any full garbage bags downstairs through the basement and garage and out to the curb. That’s when I figured out why Max probably wasn’t hungry. There was cat vomit all over the basement floor. But it wasn’t food-related. It was from a nasty hairball (or three) that he must have thrown up last night. Makes sense, considering one of his toys that he usually plays with was nearby. I pointed this out to the better half and let her know that my guess as to last night’s events were as follows: 1) With the warm weather, Max is shedding like a fiend. 2) Max threw up some hairballs and instead of eating he wanted to drink fresh water to get the taste/any irritation out of his system. Even though he ate after I fed him, he didn’t eat his entire quarter-cup of food, which still prompted the better half to spend the whole day fretting. Of course, at 7:30 p.m. that evening Max began following Mrs. kkk around the house, trying to guide her to their feeding room for an early supper. Oh, and he cleaned his bowl once they all got feed. I asked her afterward, “You still worried, psycho?” Christ, if kkk Jr. ever springs from her loins, that kid will be lucky to be out of his protective bubble for longer than two minutes.