kkktookmybabyaway

That's why I noted the MVP awards in the early '00s, hippie.

I'm curious. What do the Cincy faithful think of former Bengal Kimo who hit Palmer in the playoffs? I still say that wasn't a dirty hit.

I think Barry got a big head after winning all those MVPs in the early '00s. Or was that while he was winning all those MVPs?

Two-bit thugsters masquerading as populist leaders aren’t the only ones who have called my beloved President a devil. A while back I interacted with someone of American origin who thought the same thing as Hugo Chavez. I mentioned this story in a TSM post a while back, but it’s such a heart-warming tale that it bears repeating. Old people are hit-or-miss with me. Although I have met some who were cool as cool can be, the vast majority of them are miserable bastards, probably because they know that they are quickly approaching their expiration date. Will I act this way should I make it into my senior years? I don’t know. Hell, there are times when I catch myself sounding similar to these old farts. For example, this whole text-messaging thing these kids are doing nowadays. The hell? I’m not paying money just to type on some hippie cell phone, “C U L8r” or whatever they are saying to each other. But this story isn’t about my problems with society latest technological fads. It’s about old people who piss me off. A little less than a year ago the better half and I stopped into McDonalds for a quick bite to eat. Now this Golden Arches is on the outskirts of where the dirty urban area meets the lavish landscape that is suburbia. Even though mainly ghetto trash work at this place, and the food is usually not worth the 10-minute wait you have to endure to get your order completed, it’s the only McDonalds on our way home from work, and Mrs. kkk wanted a quarter-pounder before heading off to her second job. After deciding to eat in the store rather than order at the drive-thru, the better half picked a booth that was next to these four old people. As I sat down I realized that not only were our dining mates old, but also they were loud. Obnoxiously loud. And unoriginal. Christ, these people were talking about the same shit that all old people talk about, and this is why I hate most old people. What’s the number one thing all old people talk about? Yep, how everything is soooooo much more expensive than it used to be back when they were kids. Oh I hate this topic. Yes, shit is more expensive now than it was back when FDR ran things. No, I don’t want to hear about how you used to be able to go to the matinee for a nickel. Whenever an old bastard starts bringing this shit up, I like to respond with, “Well back in those days you only made a quarter a week. How much do you rake in a month with Social Security?” Ugh, I hate it when old people bitch about the price of everything. Hell, I remember when it only cost 50 cents to buy a pack of 15-20 football cards. Now a pack can go for several dollars, and I’ve seen some that offer less than 10 cards per purchase. Know what I do? I DON’T FUCKING BUY THEM. Now I’m going off track, again. After listening to this shit for what seemed like an eternity, I got pushed over the edge when these old people started bitching about how George W. Bush wanted to take their Social Security away. Oh for fuck’s sake. This administration tried to buy you old bastards off with some gay-ass prescription drug program that’s a bloody abortion to begin with. Shut the fuck up about any politician wanting to take away your Social Security. Senior citizens are the biggest voting bloc out there – you think any politician is going to fuck with you people? If anything, in order to kowtow to your wrinkly asses, public officials will try to bone over some other demographic that doesn’t go to the polls – like teens and young twentysomethings, or, better yet, black people. NOBODY’S TAKING AWAY YOUR FUCKING SOCIAL SECURITY. This prompted me to start talking out loud to the better half about how happy I was that we owned Halliburton stock (Dick Cheney used to work there, you know) and that the dividends we earned from our Exxon portfolio were paying for this glorious meal in front of us. I then went off on some other subjects that I now can’t recall. However, I remember at one point I was discussing anal sex. Can’t remember why, though. After a while of me stirring the pot, Mrs. kkk had enough and said we were both leaving right then and there and that she was going to finish eating on the ride home. As we both got up and walked by these old people, one of them said out loud while looking at me, “So when is that devil finally going to be out of office?” Without missing a beat, I turned to her and said in a calm, collected manner, “So when are you finally going to be dead?” No response, even though her mouth was open. If an old person ever pisses you off, uttering this phrase will usually shut them up. Trust me, it works. Now I know what you’re thinking. “Boy, kkk, you sure hate old people. Are there any old people out there you like?” Yes. Like I said before, there are cool old people out there. My favorite example of this was when I worked at the theater back in the late 1990s. Our place had just received “Boogie Nights,” and the stories I could tell of the people who went to see this movie having no idea that it dealt with the 1970s/80s porn industry could take up an entry unto itself. But that’s neither here nor there. On the first day of my theater playing this film, I was the afternoon cashier. To my surprise there were quite a few people who wanted to see “Boogie Nights,” on a Friday afternoon, but this one old guy who had to be at least in his 70s purchased his ticket and said to me, “That’s my wife over there. She’s not going to see this with me. She doesn’t like these dirty movies. Hehehehehehe.” Rock on, dude. Rock on.

A little birdy told me Marvin is "Done with TSM" (Now where have I heard that one before?), so if he doesn't submit picks this week, KingPK is taking over Raven duties. Also, for the n00bs -- if your team has a bye for a particular week, you don't need to submit picks. 26 (3.5) Carolina at Tampa Bay 24 19 (3.5) Chicago at Minnesota 16 28 Cincinnati at Pittsburgh (1.5) 20 31 Green Bay at Detroit (6.5) 24 14 Jacksonville at Indianapolis (7.5) 21 28 N.Y. Jets at Buffalo (5.5) 20 10 Tennessee at Miami (11.5) 13 31 (3.5) Washington at Houston 15 15 (7.5) Baltimore at Cleveland 14 30 N.Y. Giants at Seattle (3.5) 42 38 (6.5) Philadelphia at San Francisco 24 16 St. Louis at Arizona (4.5) 14 17 Denver at New England (6.5) 7 3 (3.5) Atlanta at New Orleans Open date: Dallas, Kansas City, Oakland, San Diego Carolina (Fazzle 0-3) defeated by Tampa Bay (Starvenger 1-2) 5-8 CAR: CAR/CHI/PIT/GB/JAX/BUF/TEN/HOU/BAL/SEA/PHI/AZ/NE/ATL/17 TB: CAR/CHI/CIN/DET/JAX/BUF/TEN/WAS/CLE/SEA/SF/AZ/DEN/NO/10 DIFF: PIT/CIN, GB/DET, HOU/WAS, BAL/CLE, PHI/SF, NE/DEN, ATL/NO, 17/10 Chicago (Agent of Oblivion 0-3) defeated by Minnesota (Danville Wrestling 2-1) 4-8 CHI: CAR/CHI/PIT/DET/JAX/BUF/MIA/HOU/BAL/SEA/SF/STL/NE/NO/27 MIN: CAR/CHI/PIT/GB/JAX/NYJ/MIA/WAS/BAL/SEA/PHI/STL/DEN/ATL/13 DIFF: DET/GB, BUF/NYJ, HOU/WAS, SF/PHI, NE/DEN, NO/ATL, 27/13 Cincinnati (Teke 2-1) defeated Pittsburgh (Kahran Ramsus 1-2) 8-7 CIN: CAR/CHI/CIN/GB/JAX/BUF/TEN/WAS/BAL/SEA/PHI/AZ/NE/NO/21 PIT: CAR/CHI/PIT/GB/JAX/BUF/MIA/WAS/BAL/SEA/PHI/AZ/DEN/NO/31 DIFF: CIN/PIT, TEN/MIA, NE/DEN Green Bay (Vitamin X 2-1) defeated Detroit (Bravesfan 2-1) 8-5 GB: CAR/CHI/CIN/GB/JAX/NYJ/TEN/HOU/BAL/SEA/SF/STL/NE/NO/7 DET: CAR/CHI/CIN/GB/IND/NYJ/MIA/HOU/BAL/NYG/PHI/AZ/NE/NO/21 DIFF: JAX/IND, TEN/MIA, SEA/NYG, SF/PHI, STL/AZ Jacksonville (Always Pissed Off 2-1) defeated Indianapolis (Prime Time Andrew Doyle 2-1) 7-6 JAX: TB/CHI/PIT/DET/JAX/NYJ/MIA/WAS/BAL/SEA/PHI/AZ/DEN/ATL/16 IND: CAR/CHI/PIT/DET/JAX/BUF/TEN/HOU/CLE/SEA/PHI/STL/NE/ATL/24 DIFF: TB/CAR, NYJ/BUF, MIA/TEN, WAS/HOU, BAL/CLE, AZ/STL, DEN/NE N.Y. Jets (Gert T 2-1) defeated by Buffalo (Bob Barron 2-1) 6-8 NYJ: CAR/CHI/CIN/DET/JAX/BUF/MIA/WAS/BAL/SEA/PHI/STL/NE/ATL/14 BUF: CAR/CHI/CIN/GB/IND/NYJ/MIA/WAS/BAL/NYG/PHI/STL/DEN/NO/17 DIFF: DET/GB, JAX/IND, BUF/NYJ, SEA/NYG, NE/DEN, ATL/NO, 14/17 Tennessee (Cuban Linx 1-2) defeated Miami (Spaceman Spiff 1-2) 8-7 TENN: CAR/CHI/CIN/GB/JAX/NYJ/TEN/HOU/BAL/SEA/PHI/STL/NE/ATL/13 MIA: CAR/CHI/CIN/GB/JAX/BUF/TEN/WAS/BAL/SEA/PHI/AZ/NE/ATL/24 DIFF: NYJ/BUF, HOU/WAS, STL/AZ Washington (Human Fly 2-1) defeated by Houston (Bored 1-2) 7-7+TB Fly predicted 19 points. Washington scored 31. Difference: 12. Bored predicted 16 points. Houston scored 15. Difference: 1. WAS: CAR CHI/CIN/DET/JAX/NYJ/TEN/WAS/BAL/SEA/PHI/AZ/NE/ATL/19 HOU: TB/MIN/PIT/GB/JAX/BUF/TEN/HOU/CLE/SEA/SF/AZ/NE/ATL/16 DIFF: CAR/TB, CHI/MIN, CIN/PIT, DET/GB, NYJ/BUF, WAS/HOU, BAL/CLE, PHI/SF, 19/16 Baltimore (King PK 1-2) defeated by Cleveland (SFA Jack 3-0) 6-7 BAL: CAR/CHI/CIN/GB/JAX/BUF/MIA/WAS/BAL/NYG/PHI/AZ/NE/NO/28 CLE: CAR/CHI/CIN/GB/IND/NYJ/MIA/WAS/BAL/SEA/PHI/AZ/DEN/ATL/10 DIFF: JAX/IND, BUF/NYJ, NYG/SEA, NE/DEN, NO/ATL N.Y. Giants (Cartman 1-2) defeated Seattle (C Dubya 1-2) 6-6+TB Cartman predicted 18 points. NY scored 30. Difference: 12. Dubya predicted 21 points. Seattle scored 42. Difference: 21 NYG: CAR/CHI/CIN/GB/JAX/BUF/MIA/HOU/BAL/SEA/PHI/AZ/NE/NO/18 SEA: CAR/CHI/CIN/GB/IND/NYJ/TEN/HOU/BAL/NYG/PHI/STL/NE/ATL/21 DIFF: JAX/IND, BUF/NYJ, MIA/TEN, SEA/NYG, AZ/STL, NO/ATL, 18/21 Philadelphia (HarleyQuinn 3-0) defeated San Francisco (Lightning Flik 1-2) 10-9 PHI: CAR/CHI/CIN/GB/JAX/NYJ/TEN/WAS/CLE/NYG/PHI/STL/DEN/ATL/27 SF: CAR/CHI/CIN/GB/JAX/NYJ/TEN/WAS/CLE/SEA/SF/AZ/DEN/ATL/27 DIFF: NYG/SEA, PHI/SF, STL/ATL St. Louis (Canadian Guitarist 1-2) defeated by Arizona (Vern Gagne 2-1) 7-10 STL: CAR/CHI/CIN/GB/IND/BUF/MIA/WAS/BAL/SEA/PHI/STL/DEN/ATL/22 AZ: CAR/MIN/CIN/DET/JAX/BUF/TEN/WAS/CLE/SEA/PHI/AZ/DEN/NO/23 DIFF: CHI/MIN, GB/DET, IND/JAX, MIA/TEN, BAL/CLE, STL/AZ, ATL/NO Denver (Canadian Chris 1-2) defeated New England (nl-asshole 0-3) 7-5 DEN: CAR/CHI/CIN/GB/IND/NYJ/MIA/WAS/BAL/SEA/PHI/STL/NE/ATL/17 NE: CAR CHI/CIN/DET/JAX/BUF/TEN/HOU/BAL/SEA/PHI/AZ/NE/ATL/27 DIFF: GB/DET, IND/JAX, NYJ/BUF, MIA/TEN, WAS/HOU, STL/AZ, 17/27 Atlanta (King of the 909 3-0) defeated New Orleans (Cena’s Writer 1-2) 8-6 ATL: CAR/MIN/CIN/GB/JAX/NYJ/MIA/WAS/BAL/SEA/PHI/AZ/NE/ATL/27 NO: CAR/CHI/PIT/GB/IND/NYJ/MIA/WAS/BAL/NYG/PHI/AZ/DEN/NO/21 DIFF: MIN/CHI, CIN/PIT, JAX/IND, SEA/NYG, NE/DEN, ATL/NO, 27/21 Open date: Dallas (Hawk34 1-1), Kansas City (Alfdogg 1-1), Oakland (Smues 2-0), San Diego (Porter 1-1)

KKK’s Top 103 Posters Number 55: Bps21 I don’t talk to Bps, but that doesn’t mean I hate him. Back in the day whenever I used to pay attention to pro wrestling, I would read those “One and Only Raw Threads” that would sprout up each Monday, and I would be amazed that almost every post written by Bps seemed to be a negative, smart-ass critique of the action taking place on television. Did I mention that I liked reading these posts? He also took some of this attitude with him when he posted in other subjects, and when you have me going, “Wow. This guy is really jaded,” you know you're doing something right. And now a word from the expert panel to comment on the people I’ve listed. From Cancer Marney: • One of the most common lines in the journalism world is “Dog bites man, no story; Man bites dog, story.” Well is it any surprise that this article made the AP wire? • Once again ol’ Pale Face has put one over on the hippie Indians. In some odd way, this reminds me of a place near where I live called "Lakeview Inn." What was the reason for this place's name? Why, because there was a huge lake behind this hotel, and this was a popular place for couples to hold their wedding receptions; the lake supposedly provided some nice scenic shots for newlyweds getting their pictures taken. (I wouldn't know however because my overpriced wedding event was at a place down the road called Mountainview Inn. No, there weren't any mountains out back.) Anyway, a few years ago the owner of Lakeview was told that he either had to drain the lake or make some major environmental upgrades to it (don't ask). His decision? To drain the lake. Oh, but he still calls his place "Lakeview" even though there's nothing more than a bunch of weeds growing where the water used to be. What has this got to do with the above-mentioned Indians? Haven't got a clue. • Tiger Woods is pissed because some tabloid has linked pictures of his wife to pornography sites. Well, at least his wife is/was a model – that's better viewing than watching Jackie Chan in a porno. No wonder he doesn’t like other people doing his stunts. (I won't even comment on the end-of-credit outtakes.) • Now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call of the Day (or whenever I feel like doing this). This lady calls in and says that after having three dates with this guy they went to get married. However, the Catholic Church told them they refused to marry the lovebirds and they ended up getting "divorced." They have been together now for six years and when the host asked if they have had sex, the caller said, “yes,” because the Church said it was OK. Actually, the caller clarified this by saying that her boyfriend said that someone from the Church told him that this was permissible.

OK, time to see how I did this week with my NFL pickkks. Buffalo at Miami. Correct. Well, I was wrong about Miami winning, but I was predicting a close win for the Dolphins and went with the Bills. And since I’m going by point spreads I win. Yippie. Carolina at Minnesota. Correct. I predicted another upset by the Vikings, and I was right, thanks to a bone-head play on a Carolina fourth-quarter punt return, or lack thereof. I saw the Vikings play the Steelers in the preseason and was impressed with them, so in a way I’m pulling for this team. Cleveland at Cincinnati. Correct. Was there any doubt? I was flipping between this game and the Giants/Eagles contest, and I was fortunate enough to be watching when that Cleveland defender leveled Chad Johnson. I wonder if Chad is going to mark up on his scorecard that this week went to the opposing defense? Detroit at Chicago. Wrong. Roy Williams, how could you do this to me? YOU GAURANTEED A WIN THIS WEEK! I went with the Lions based solely on your promise of a victory against a team that is better than yours in every aspect of the game and yet you continue to let me down. How can I ever take you seriously ever again, Roy? I mean, it’s stupid how close I came this week from predicting 14 correct games, and thanks to you this dream was shattered into a thousand shards. If I can’t trust the predictions of a wide receiver that has done jack shit in his NFL career, whom can I trust? I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at you the same way after this game, Roy. I’m sorry, but once you take advantage of my trusting nature, I’m worse than a bride who was jilted at the altar. You’re going to have to earn my respect after your boldface lying about how the Lions were going to come out of Week 2 with a 1-1 record, but sadly I don’t think you’ll be able to do that for quite some time. I want you to remember this moment, Roy. Remember how you let down the dozens of people who took your so-called ironclad lock of win. Remember your team’s inability to perform on the field. Remember this moment, Roy, as when you hit rock bottom. That is until you strap up those pads for next week’s game and the cycle of futility begins again. Houston at Indianapolis. Correct. This isn’t really fair. I hope for the Texans’ sake they are able to play better against mediocre opponents. New Orleans at Green Bay. Correct. New Orleans is 2-0 against bad teams. I guess that’s better than being 1-1 or 0-2. I can’t wait until they start playing some good teams so we can squash all the talk about the Saints being a playoff contender. N.Y. Giants at Philadelphia. Wrong. Son of a bitch. I watched the first half of this game and was impressed with the Eagles play, and then they go and piss it all away in the fourth quarter. On top of that, Emily Manning and Plaxico Burress showed some stones and pulled out the victory. Having seen Plex play in Shittsburgh, I always felt he had talent. However, there is a moment that will I will forever remember him by. After the Steelers lost to the Patriots in the AFC Conference Championship in 2004-2005 season, while Burress was complaining in the locker room about not getting the ball enough (despite him dropping a touchdown-scoring pass), fellow receiver Hines Ward was crying and promising a trip to the Super Bowl next year. Now which player do you think the Steeler fans supported and which player do you think they wanted to see head out of town? Oakland at Baltimore. Wrong. Man, not only is Oakland bad, they can’t even score those meaningless end-of-game touchdowns while the other team is just sitting back and letting the clock run down. Tampa Bay at Atlanta. Wrong. Is Atlanta really that improved from last y ear, or did Tampa Bay really drop off that much from 2005? Arizona at Seattle. Correct. Seattle and the NFC West is like Indianapolis and the AFC South. These divisional victories should count as half-wins or something. St. Louis at San Francisco. Wrong. I have no idea about the Rams. I was hoping they would build off their home win last week, but I was wrong on this one. I will manage to get some sleep tonight. I’m not sure how, but I will. Kansas City at Denver. Wrong. Denver won. Yippie. They didn’t win by double-digits. Shit. New England at N.Y. Jets. Wrong. I watched this game on television, and it’s amazing how the Patriots were able to move on the Jets even with no receivers. Also, those two touchdown catches by the New York receivers were fun to watch, and it even gave me hope that this could be the AFC’s version of the Giants/Eagles game from earlier in the day. Of course I was hoping for the Jets to pull within 6 points; I didn’t care if they won this game or not. Tennessee at San Diego. Correct. I asked what would be the larger number – the Chargers final score or Philip Rivers’ pass attempts. Score: 40. Pass Attempts: 35. Washington at Dallas. Wrong. I was wrong on this one because I though the game would be closer. Now we get to see the sports media over-hype Terrell Owens’ finger injury and ponder time and time again if he will or will not play in Philadelphia a few weeks from now. Goodie. Pittsburgh at Jacksonville. Correct. Now I get to hear the tales of woe from the local sports idiots in my neck of the woods. The Steelers played a team that is like them in many ways. The Steelers played a team that was 12-4 last year. The Steelers played a team that beat them at home in the regular season last year. This defeat shouldn’t have been a surprise. One thing I took note of was the ESPN announcers talk regarding Byron Leftwich and his self-described inability to run, especially considering his race and the position he plays. I never saw Byron Leftwich as a black quarterback, ever … ever… Is it OK for me to play quarterback, even though I have trouble scrambling out of the pocket? Overall Score: 8-8. Cumulative Score: 17-15. Hooray for mediocrity.

AFC EAST New York Jets (Gert T) 2-0 < PF: 20, PA: 14, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-0 > Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) 1-1 < PF: 19, PA: 19, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-0 > Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 1-1 < PF: 16, PA: 17, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-1 > New England Patriots (nl-asshole) 0-2 < PF: 12, PA: 17, AFC: 0-2, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-2 > AFC NORTH Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 2-0 < PF: 18, PA: 16, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 1-0 > Baltimore Ravens (Marvin is a Lunatic) 1-1 < PF: 18, PA: 19, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 0-0 > Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) 1-1 < PF: 15, PA: 17, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-1 > Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) 1-1 < PF: 16, PA: 19, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > AFC SOUTH Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 2-0 < PF: 21, PA: 15, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 1-0 > Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 1-1 < PF: 19, PA: 16, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-0 > Houston Texans (Bored) 0-2 < PF: 17, PA: 19, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 0-2 < PF: 14, PA: 18, AFC: 0-2, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > AFC WEST Oakland Raiders (Smues) 2-0 < PF: 23, PA: 18, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-0 > Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 1-1 < PF: 20, PA: 17, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-0 > San Diego Chargers (Porter) 1-1 < PF: 18, PA: 17, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-1 > Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) 0-2 < PF: 17, PA: 21, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > NFC EAST Philadelphia Eagles (The Real World’s Champion) 2-0 < PF: 18, PA: 15, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 1-0 > Washington Redskins (Human Fly) 2-0 < PF: 16, PA: 14, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 2-0, DIV: 1-0 > Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 34) 1-1 < PF: 16, PA: 16, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > New York Giants (Cartman) 0-2 < PF: 13, PA: 20, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > NFC NORTH Detroit Lions (Bravesfan) 2-0 < PF: 18, PA: 17, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 2-0, DIV: 1-0 > Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 1-1 < PF: 16, PA: 15, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-0 > Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 1-1 < PF: 18, PA: 18, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 0-0 > Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion) 0-2 < PF: 14, PA: 18, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-2, DIV: 0-2 > NFC SOUTH Atlanta Falcons (King Of The 909) 2-0 < PF: 22, PA: 18, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 2-0, DIV: 2-0 > New Orleans Saints (Cena’s Writer) 1-1 < PF: 18, PA: 15, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 0-0 > Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) 0-2 < PF: 19, PA: 20, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-2, DIV: 0-1 > Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Starvenger) 0-2 < PF: 16, PA: 22, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > NFC WEST Seattle Seahawks (C Dubya) 1-1 < PF: 16, PA: 17, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-0 > Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 1-1 < PF: 16, PA: 11, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-1 > San Francisco 49ers (Lightning Flik) 1-1 < PF: 12, PA: 17, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-1 > St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist) 1-1 < PF: 17, PA: 16, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > HE DOESN'T HAVE A TEAM BUT WE STILL LIKE HIM ANYWAY: King PK: 14

• So it was late Saturday night and I was flipping through channels looking for something worthwhile to watch. I then stumbled across this “Black.White.” show on FX. Now I had seen previews for this thing, and it was about this black family who got painted white and this white family who got painted black. I guess the purpose of this stupid idea was for each family to walk a mile (or a month) in the other family's shoes and learn about racial harmony and all that other gay stuff. I had no intention of watching this shit, but you'll take what you can get when it’s late at night and you don’t feel like moving from the couch. Holy fuck is this an awful show. I watched the season finale, and thank God I skipped to the end of this stupid show. Although I was off in my over/under prediction on how long it would be before one of the white people were branded a RACIST by one of the the ni—, err, someone from the African-American family (I had my money on the second half of the show; the father got hit with the “R” word in the first half hour), there was still plenty of insanity to keep me entertained. One highlight for me was the 17-year old white chick that was in tears because the people in her urban poetry class (or whatever those stupid groups are call who try to sound like Digable Planets) were tearing apart her poems. I could comment more about the goofy white mom who was trying to understand why the troubled black youth from the other family was anti-social, but I have to get to the best part of this show. I mentioned the black family had a teen-age son. I guess he’s running afoul of the law or something. Now I don’t know exactly what went on in previous episodes, nor do I care to find out, but this kid’s parents were worried that he was going down the wrong path. So what did they do? The took him to the Museum of Tolerance. The Museum of Tolerance. The Museum of Mother Fucking Tolerance. For the South Park fans out there who remember Lemiwinks and Mr. Slave fist appearance, yes, there is such a thing as the Museum of Tolerance. Don’t believe me? Check it out for yourself. I will never brush aside anything Trey Parker Matt and Stone ever put into their shows again. I’m now convinced that my idiot boss is a crab person. Anyway, if you ever stumble across this “Black.White.” show, do yourself a favor and just watch the season finale so you can witness for yourself the Museum of Tolerance. And if you should ever pay a visit to the Museum of Tolerance, find out for me if they have a smoking section. • Speaking of tolerance, a while back I goofed on my pals from across the Pond because a British theme park was going to have a “Muslim Day.” I laughed too soon. My favorite parts from this article: Great, so now we have to chalk up waiting in long lines for a roller coaster ride as one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male. In addition, how can "the cries of Allahu Akbar would be heard everywhere" when there are no infidels allowed in the park during the Great Muslim Adventure Day? • And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura call of the day (or whenever I feel like doing this): This Mexican chick calls and says that she is divorced with two kids – ages 6 and 4. She then said that she’s been divorced for 4 years. When the host asks why was she knocked up at the same time she was splitting up with the ex, the caller responds, “Because his parents told him to leave me.” She then complains that he never visits his kids and when the subject of her moving back to her parents' house is brought up, the caller says she can never go back because her two kids (ages 6 and 4) told her that they want to have their own place. Runner-up: This 13-year old boy called and said that he has this girl “friend” that is overweight and has no self-esteem. All the boys in school like this girl’s mom who “parties and gets down” with this kid’s friends at her house and at various school functions.

It's just a matter of who is closer. I don't care if your TB went over or under your team's actual score. You both have four games you both correctly predicted: NO/NYG/ATL/SD. You both picked PIT so tonight's game is a wash. St. Louis DIFF picks that are right: CHI/IND/BAL/NE/DAL = 5 San Francisco DIFF picks that are right: BUF/MIN/CIN/SF/KC = 5 We go to TB score... Actual score: St. Louis 13, San Fran 20 Canadian Guitarist predicted the Rams would score 28 points. St. Louis scored 13. 28-13=15. Lightning Flik predicted the 49ers would score 20 points. San Francisco scored 20. 20-20=0. Flik wins.

Wait, the Sooners lost that game?

If the Cards win/cover, you get the point. If not, you don't. Noted. It was on my scoresheet as CLE so I would have found it ... enventually ... hopefully ...

Someone's going into the gulag when he gets back to Castro's little heaven on earth.

Deadline has come and gone -- two people are using EPs (Colts and Eagles) and Canadian Guitarist missed out on the game he forgot to pick (AZ @ SEA).

Time to see which teams I have for this week’s NFL games. Remember that I’m using point spreads from my kkk Bowl contest, and I have put in virtually no research other than what I may have heard in the news over the past week. Buffalo at Miami (6.5) Buffalo played tough last week while Miami lost to the Super Bowl champs. I think Miami will win, but not by six-and-a-half points. (1.5) Carolina at Minnesota Steve Smith is out and the Vikings are returning home after a Week 1 victory at Washington. The Carolina defensive line versus the Minnesota offensive line will be an interesting match-up. I’ll take the Vikings at home. Cleveland at Cincinnati (10.5) The question for me is how bad will the Bengals beat their in-state rivals. I’ll wager it’ll be in the double digits, so I’ll take Cincinnati in their home opener. Detroit at Chicago (8.5) Lions wide receiver Roy Williams said Detroit was going to win this game. He guaranteed it. He promised. When has Roy Williams ever let me down before? Roy, I'm taking your word on this. Don't fuck with my emotions. Houston at Indianapolis (13.5) Indianapolis always toys with Houston, but will they play with them enough to win by two touchdowns? Sure, why not – it’s early in the season and Peyton Manning needs to get those stats up by feasting on the weaker teams in his division. (1.5) New Orleans at Green Bay The old (Brett Favre) versus the new (Reggie Bush). Can New Orleans go up 2-0 at the start of this young NFL season? With the way Green Bay played last week, I’ll say why not. N.Y. Giants at Philadelphia (3.5) It’s one of those NFC East contests where anything goes. Will the Eagles be better than last year’s 6-10 team, or will the Giants drop off from their division-winning campaign of the 2005-06 season? I think I'll go with the Eagles because they improved more from last year than the Giants. Oakland at Baltimore (12.5) Will the Oakland Train Wreck Express continue with a stop in Baltimore? Probably. Will the Ravens win by a dozen points? I don’t know. I’ll put my hopes on the Raiders scoring a late touchdown with the Ravens playing prevent defense to drop Baltimore's victory to single digis. Tampa Bay at Atlanta (5.5) Tampa looked like crap last week. Will they bounce back this week against their division foes? I’m not sure, but I’ll predict the score will be closer than last week’s contests for both teams, which has me siding with the Bucs on this one. Arizona at Seattle (7.5) Will Seattle play like they did last week, or will Arizona upset the defending NFC Conference Champs? I’ll go with Seattle against that Cardinals defense. (3.5) St. Louis at San Francisco St. Louis looked good at home last week, so I’ll predict them looking svelte on the road against San Francisco. Kansas City at Denver (10.5) The Chiefs still have Larry Johnson, but they also have a backup quarterback starting the game. I’ll go with the Broncos at home. (6.5) New England at N.Y. Jets It’s a battle between master and pupil on the sidelines this week. The Jets played the Titans tough last week, and the Patriots struggled against the Bills. With that point spread, I’m going with New York. Tennessee at San Diego (11.5) San Diego looked good last week, while Tennessee made it game with the Jets. The Chargers will probably win, but will they cover the spread? I’ll say sure. The real bet ought to be will San Diego score more points than their quarterback throw passes. Washington at Dallas (5.5) Both are NFC East teams. Both are winless in Week 1. I think the Cowboys will win, but not by the margin listed above. (1.5) Shittsburgh at Jacksonville This game is going to be physical and nasty. Even though the Steelers won here two seasons ago, they always seem to have problems down in Jacksonville. For that reason, I’ll go with the Jags.

We're on that list, but other people can still call you.

• So Bill Clinton said a few words at Ann Richards’ funeral, and afterward Richards’ daughter thanked him for, and I quote, "all the great times that you shared with our mom." Sigh. Anyway, here’s something to ponder: if Ann would have just defeated W. in that governor’s race so many moons ago, just imagine what the world might be like today. And I’m sure you commies out there reading this are probably having different thoughts than me right now. You’re probably thinking about unnecessary wars and record deficits. I’m thinking about Al Gore being in a second term with Hitlery getting primed (more so than she is now) to take over the White House in ’08. One person’s heaven is another person’s hell, I guess. • I know dick about college football, but these last two weeks have been great. First it was Penn State getting crushed by Notre Dame a week ago, and now today Michigan manhandled the Irish by a score of 47-21. Woo-hoo. Two teams I hate. Two weeks with one of them getting a beat down. But hey, the Nittany Lions sure showed those Youngstown State Penguins today, beating them 37-3. • Some guy named Michael Kuhnhausen hired a hit man (allegedly, of course) that attacked his estranged wife with a claw hammer as she entered her house. The woman then strangled to death her attacker. But wait, it gets better. Inside a backpack the hit man had with him was a day planner that had the entry, “Call Mike, Get letter.” If you’re going to get someone to off your wife, I think it would be in your best interests to look for someone who didn’t clean up spooge at the porn shop you are employed at. • So the FDA doesn’t want me to eat spinach because it could possibly contain E. coli -- now do you hippies understand my reasoning behind my “All authority must be questioned” response Political Compass question? Sometimes Big Brother really does know what’s good for you. • Artic seals are now being found in North Carolina. Maybe those global-warming people have a point. Then again, wouldn't that mean the water is getting colder? Or is that because the ice caps are melting, making the oceans chillier? Ah hell, I've lost track what is and isn't a result of global warming. • There seems to be a brouhaha going on in Europe about models that are “too thin.” First there was a stink at some stupid Madrid fashion show, and now Britain is getting in on the action. I never understood people in the fashion industry find 80-pound women walking up and down some runway to be appealing to the eyes. Watching chicks that make Laura Flynn Boyle look like Rosie O’ Donnell doesn’t make me want to buy the latest fashions from Paris. Then again, most of these fashion designers are queer anyway, so it’s not like they know what constitutes a good-looking woman. Give me a regular-sized, normal-looking chick wearing jeans and a t-shirt with some sports logo on the front over some string bean with tits smaller than my knuckles wearing a backless outfit that’s exposing her ribs to anyone unlucky enough to pass her by. And speaking of Ms. Boyle, I found this tidbit from Wikipedia: Guess Laura wasn't thin enough. • The other day this lady from Comcast called and asked if I would like to take part in a survey. Normally I don’t pick up the phone when it comes to telemarketers, and I hang up on them without a second thought if one manages to slip past my Caller I.D. However, I have a soft spot in my heart for these survey people. First off, they’re not trying to sell me anything. Secondly, if I give them my input chances are the company they work for might cater more to my interests. Thirdly, I used to work as one of these phone survey people. Granted my time of employment at this profession was just seven hours, but it was seven hours nevertheless. When I moved to Sappy Valley in early 1999, I needed a job right away to pay the rent. I saw an ad for phone interviewers, and I figured this would be an easy way to earn a few dollars, especially since the ad mentioned the people we were to be interviewing had already agreed to take part. Of course I was outright lied to in the interview when I asked, still a bit wary about the “arranged interviews” part of that classified, if there would be any cold calling. I was told “no,” but when I sat down by my phone I was given a sheet of names and numbers. No cold-calling my ass. I gave it a go, but after my first day’s six-hour shift and one hour into my second day of work I had enough and left. There were pre-arranged interviews that some people were doing, but most of us were doing this cold-calling shit. It was then that I realized many people (or to put it more precisely, two out of every hundred) don’t like taking phone surveys. When this Comcast lady called, I asked her right away how long this was going to take. I added that I didn’t really care; I just wanted an idea of how long I’d be on the phone. This question, at least in my personal experience, usually results in a customer hang-up, and I could tell this lady was hesitant to tell me. After answering some basic multiple-choice questions from the script that she was rushing to get through, we went our separate ways; me to exercise, her to probably get rejected by 49 other people before finding that next person willing to let her know how many times in a month he or she orders premium movies from Comcast’s On Demand service (my answer to this question was, of course, “no,” because I’m a cheap bastard). One thing that took me by surprise though was the question of where do movies first become available after they leave the theater – on DVD for sale, on DVD for rent, on premium channels, or on pay-per-view/On Demand services. I thought movies, for the most part, came out on pay-per-view or on HBO before heading to Best Buy, but I guess I was wrong considering the next question this lady asked went something like, “If recently released movies came out on On Demand before they were made available for sale or renting would you be more/less likely to order it On Demand.” Oh well. Hopefully my responses to this survey will results in Comcast scrapping its pay-per-view services and instead giving all Digital Cable subscribers fresh-from-the-theater box-office features in the “Free Movies” section of On Demand. Then again maybe not.

Wasn't MTV2 supposed to show videos 24/7 -- or is there now a MTV3 for that sort of thing?

The one episode talked about crackhouses, so fuck you bitch. And I should have corrected myself -- that Miami Inked isn't bad; I just don't watch it on a regular basis. And now Gene Simmons has his own show. It was only a matter of time before he got his hooks into this cash cow. I'm not a big Kiss fan, but I like him for his money-making ways. If your fans will drain their bank accounts for Kiss lunchboxes and coffins, then I say more power to Gene.

• The New York Islanders, who just promoted Goalie Garth Snow to the position of general manager, signed a player to a 15-year contract. And who says there’s not continuity in sports? Granted Rick DiPietro was a bitch to score on in NHL ’06, but I wouldn’t be giving him $67 million dollars over a decade-and-a-half for this accomplishment. The NBA gives Magic Johnson 25 years; the NHL gives Rick DiPietro 15. Ok then. • First Steve Irwin gets killed by a stingray. Now this shocking development. • El Luchadore Magnifico may not be on my Top 103 Posters list, but his blog holds a special spot in my heart. Sure he may not talk sports like Bored and Al Keiper, "ramble" like Hawk34 or … um, well there’s always Lovecraft or whatever he’s calling himself nowadays, but how can you top this: • Gotta feel for the ladies on this one. You know how whenever you see a fellow person of the testicular persuasion catch one in the groin you give a little “sympathy cringe,” imagining what the pain must feel like? Well, I’m guessing popping out a 14-pound, 13-ounce kid would be the female equivalent. • Uh-oh. Allah's going to be pissed. Again. From Ratzinger's speech: Muslims, get the fuck over yourselves already. You think this and a couple of cartoons is bad? Just wait until you start shelling out your tax dollars (that is if you people have enough spare time from burning American flags and declaring jihads on infidels to actually have a job) for someone to submerge a picture of Mohammed (if one can be found) in a jar of pee or make a painting of him covered in cow poop. You know when I’ll start taking you people and your precious Allah seriously? When someone enters one of your market squares, rattles off a few Muslim jokes, and instead of the jokester getting beheaded you people say, “That’s a good one. Say, did you hear the one about the Priest at the confessional and the yellow holy water?” Until we get to this point, which will be never, I say to you and your jihad to Ratzinger and the rest of the West… ...bring it, bitches.

Poor Marvin. Can't get a break.

• No matter who you are, there’s always a bigger dog in the yard. That show of his is one of those programs where if I’m channel surfing and come across it I’ll watch it for a few minutes before moving on. Sometimes I’ll watch them catch some crackhead, but most of the time after five minutes I’m asking myself, “Why do I have this on?” Another program I treat in a similar fashion is that “Miami Ink” show. It’s about some Florida tattoo shop and we get to see these people get paid for defiling willing patrons. Actually, from the shows I’ve seen, many of the customers have rather touching reasons for wanting various tattoos inked onto them. One person wanted to remember her father. Another wanted a portrait of his son, while a lady got one of her kid who died too soon. I’m sure this store also gets its share of drunks who will wake up the next day wondering how they got a grim reaper holding a can of beer on their shoulder blade, but there’s probably a reason why these ink sessions don’t make it on the air. While I’m on the subjects of tattoos, I’m rather indifferent to them. If you want to brand yourself, then go for it. As for me, I have marked up my body enough; I don’t need to pay someone to do it for me. There’s that scar I got on my right thigh when I was a kid chasing pigeons just outside the Carnegie Museum. Then I have that marking on my left which reminded me as a pre-teen not to go biking on those sloped curbs. How I didn’t break any bones from that incident is beyond me. Speaking of breaking bones, I’ve been pretty lucky in this regard, too. The only time my idiotic behavior resulted in a cast or splint when I tried to slide uphill into a coiled-up garden hose that was acting as first base in a backyard baseball game. Not only did I dislocate my right middle and ring finger knuckles, but I was also called out. To make matters worse, a day or so later I was playing some Capture the Flag-like game late at night and unknowingly hid in a patch of poison ivy. That was not a fun summer vacation, especially since all this happened just one week before my junior year of high school. But if this is the worst I have done to my body when it came to doing stupid shit as a kid, then I consider myself extremely fortunate. • This story caught my attention because I was born on the year he escaped and began living his second life. Yeah he had a real "mental" condition. That's why he was able to evade the law for three decades. Fuck him. And what is up with stabbing someone to death in 1964 and then being eligible for parole in 1980? Yet another reason you need to off anyone trying to harm you or someone you care about – you sure as fuck aren’t going to get any assistance from the State in this matter. • I just found an update on the Dog situation. I guess I could joke about how Mr. Dog jumped bail, but what really got the big LOL was the bolded part of the article below. It’s nice to know that the Mexican government cares about at least of their own crossing the U.S. border. Now how about you guys doing something about the million-plus other people from your shit hole of a country that do the same thing every year? Oh well, at least the Dog family has some fresh material for sweeps.

Excuse me. He's not that bad ... is he?

Apparently so.

• When WPGB, my local FM RIGHT-WING RADIO station, set up shop in the Shittsburgh market a few years ago, one of its marketing gimmick was to goof on the other talk-radio stations in the area, particularly KDKA, that catered to an older demographic. When WPGB took Rush's show away from KDKA, one of the lines they used to announce this coup was something to the extent was that Rush would no longer be a victim of the "left-wing conspiracy" of Pirates baseball, which pre-empted regular radio programming on KDKA whenever it was time for the Bucs to go out there and lose once again. God only knows why regular programming took a backseat – it’s the freaking Pirates. Anyway, on the way to work today guess what I heard on the radio? The left-wing cabal that is the Pirates will now be heard on WPGB starting next year. God damnit. I found this line to be particularly rich. Well you people sure as fuck aren't in the business of winning games. • Now this is some sad news. RIGHT-WING RADIO has been seizing more reasons why regressive talk radio is unpopular than Hitler seized land during World War II. Uh, wait a minute. Let me hit the rewind button. Let me hit it again. Uh, OK. Well I now know why Jerry Springer chose to dance with the stars. I really don’t care if Air America goes down the shitter or gains 500 stations. What I really cared about were the comments after this article. Jason M. Hendler, before you begin posting here, why don’t you make a call for the Pres. Reagan docu-drama to be broadcast? By the way, didn’t Rush Limbaugh have a television show that flopped harder and faster than Air America radio? I’ll be nobody wants to bring THAT news up. I’ve heard many truck drivers and elderly people calling into Air America claiming they’ve been converted. We can’t cede any format to the right. that’s too bad. hopefully they can keep operating into the distant future. they certainly gained lots of ground reaching new markets in the past couple years. I’m not a fan of Clear Channel, but their support shows a need in the market for the liberal format. They wouldn’t do it if they didn’t think they’d make a lot of money. R.I.P., Air America. If it had been a right-wing network, this administration would have secretly funneled millions of dollars into it. Ya know, if they happen to do that sort of thing. Whatever happens to Air America, the “stars” on their roster will continue in some way, shape, or form. I’m sad to see Air America on the ropes, but very glad to hear that Clear Channel is doing a talent search for progressives. If that happens, a lot of radio stations will have dead air if they don’t replace the programming themselves… And since when do regressives look to Clear Channel as being a savior rather than a tool of the devil? • I guess it's not all gloom and doom for Commie Radio. There are those feminazis who are backing a network that provides nine hours of programming per day (but it will soon increase to TWELVE) on several radio stations. Will there be bra burning, men hating or any of that other good stuff I've come to expect from these chicks that need dicks? Nah, there'll be discussions about plastic surgery, cooking and spring cleaning. • And speaking of women doing radio, it's now time for the Dr. Laura Call of the Day (or whenever I feel like doing this). This caller has never been married and has two kids with two different men. She’s currently living at her father’s house and has stayed there for a few years. Her dad watches the kids free of charge while she works overnights (as a babysitter). This woman is mad because her father said that he’s going out of state for a week because he’s helping his one friend move. The reason she’s upset? He won’t be able to watch her kids.