KingPK

It's pretty bad when your punter is the best player on the field.

I'd say Santana for MVP as well, but there might be a situation like Pedro faced in 1999 where some voters will flat out refuse to vote a pitcher as MVP. Plus, Jeter's the big name, so writers will come up with as many excuses as they can to vote him over Santana or Hafner. IMO, Ortiz has slipped a little behind those guys over the past month with his absence and mini-slump beforehand.

Yeah, that's pretty much what I meant there. People should know where my allegiances lay by now. And I also fucked up; I meant the '02 RAMS who went 7-9. That trade was pretty much the best resolution to this Branch situation. Branch gets out of NE and can go into free agency to get whatever he wants and the Pats probably got an above value return in a first-rounder since Stallworth is a comparitive player and only fetched a 5th and a backup LB.

And only one team after that has won more than 8 games (the '02 Patriots went 9-7). Here's hoping that trend continues.

The Colts being 11/16 on 3rd down is a big reason. You gotta get Peyton off the field. That 3rd and 2 late in the game is why the Colts are going to miss James big time.

Last series this year, thank God. That Sunday night game won't end until 2AM. The only thing I care about this week is Ortiz breaking the club HR record (he's three away, I believe), Ortiz helping my fantasy team, and said fantasy team moving on to the championship.

Illegal snap. The center snapped the ball before the o-line was set. The Colts didn't impress me at all tonight. Their defense seems to have regressed a little bit and they have absolutely NO running game. If the Giants DBs could actually CATCH, this would have been a different game.

Girl can't sing three notes without taking a breath, can she? I would as well, of course. There's shot #1 of 350,000 of Archie Manning tonight.

Collinsworth says the Colts are going to win because of "big game experience"? :lol: :lol:

America is going to absolutely loathe hearing Joe Buck's voice by January, I guarantee it. Hosting the pre/postgame show, doing games, doing the baseball playoffs, it's too much. I'll add another and a for Drew's clutch INTs. EDIT: Sterling Sharpe just said that reverse in the Seahawks game may have "saved their season". *Ahem* IT'S WEEK ONE!!

Just saw the Green hit. OUCH. Safety! THERE'S the Losman we love.

Beautiful catch by Faulk for the TD. The offense has awoken. 17-14. The Pats also have 130 yards rushing between Maroney (57), Dillon (50), Faulk (20) and Brady (3). Encouraging.

I thought they were going to crack down on horse collar tackles because Maroney just got taken down by one and no call.

We've forgotten Heidenreich humping Michael Cole in the bathroom? Actually, I don't blame you if you've blocked it out of your memory.

Oh great, now that they have the lead, the Bills are going to try and run out three quarters. Rams with another FG. They need to get Jackson to punch some in and get me points.

So can the Bills on the Patriots right now. 17-7 Bills. The o-line isn't picking up the blitz at all and Brady's been hit twice with the ball jarring loose, but the second was ruled incomplete.

I see CBS streamlined their graphics. Much less intrusive, but I can barely read that scoreboard at the bottom of the screen. What the hell is the Bills offense doing?

I've got Pats/Bills and Cowboys/Jaguars at 4. Not bad. I'll also check in on Red Zone on NFL Net to keep track of my fantasy guys.

I gotta say, this NFL Replay on NFL Net is awesome. They don't really skip over many plays and the NFL Films footage is a nice touch. I could do without listening to John Madden's commentary again, though.

Webb better be on his game next week as well. I've got a bye this week in my league's playoffs and it's kind of annoying to see all your guys doing well but having it not count.

"Frankenstein" by Edgar Winter blasts over the PA as we return to the arena. The entrance doors open and out steps Peter Knight, followed close behind by the Sooner Bruisers. Uber lets out a trademark howl at the top of the ramp while Big Frank shows off TEH GUNZ~! Knight simply marches down towards the ring. *DING DING DING* BUFFER The following six-man tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing team #1: weighing in a total combined weight of eight hundred pounds even, they are the team of the Sooner Bruisers and Peterrrr Kniiiiiight! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" COLE We're ready for our next match tonight on HeldDOWN, a six-man tag match with a lot of bad blood involved. COACH Well, I don't know about that, Cole. Sure, two of these guys absolutely hate each other, but what have the Bruisers done to draw the ire of Black T? COLE Nearly crippling Tony Brannigan, perhaps? COACH He was able to walk out of the arena on his own power, so I'd say it wasn't that bad. The music fades as Knight and the Bruisers prepare in the ring. Soon after, the opening strands of "Quiet" hit the PA, drawing quite a positive reaction. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" The doors open again and out step the World Tag Team champions along with their partner. You almost need sunglasses to view all the glittering of Tony's flowing robe and the sparkle off the freshly polished tag belts that rest on his and Dan Black's shoulders. Behind them, Longdogger Pete walks and raises an arm to the crowd. BUFFER And their opponents, weighing in at a total combined weight of seven hundred and eighty-five pounds, they are the team of Longdogger Pete and the OAOAST World Tag Team champions.....BLAAAAAAAAAAAAACK TEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! COACH I can't believe my ears, but it looks like these fans are starting to warm to the tag champs. COLE They are looking at one of the greatest tag teams on OAOAST history, Coach. This is showing some respect to them, something you wouldn't know anything about. COACH What? When I take your rental car to the strip club, I always make sure that there's at least a quarter tank of gas left and I always wipe down the back seat with a handi-wipe. The six men in the ring jaw at each other as the music fades. The Bruisers point to the belts and vow that they will be theirs very soon while Knight and Longdogger share heated words as well. Referee Nick Patrick steps in and tries to get some order and demand two of each team vacate the ring. The Sooners head to the apron while Longdogger and Dan Black step out on the opposite side, leaving Tony Brannigan and Peter Knight to start the match. COLE Well how about this, two former OAOAST World Champions are going to start things off here. Knight points at LDP and tosses a little more smack talk his way before he and Tony lock up. They jockey for position around the ring until Knight grabs a side headlock, but Tony quickly backs him into the ropes and attempts to push him off, but Knight tightens his grip and holds on, sending Tony stumbling to his knees. He recovers and gets back to his feet while Knight cranks in the pressure, but Tony manages to step between the bottom rope to force a break, which Knight reluctantly does. They lock up again and again Knight grabs a headlock, pulling Tony to his corner and tagging Frank. Knight releases the hold and holds Tony in position for Frank to get a free shot to the midsection before he steps out. Frank pushes Tony against the ropes and shoots him off. Tony, ever the veteran, dodges Frank's strike and bounces off the opposite ropes, but as he comes back... *SOONERLINE* "Ooooooooooh!" COACH DAYUM, Tony almost got his head taken off. Frank covers. 1..... 2...but Tony kicks out fairly easily. Frank drags Branngian back up and brings him over by the hair to the corner, where Uber tags in. The brothers shoot Brannigan into the ropes and send him head over heels to the mat with a double team backdrop. Frank jaws with Nick Patrick as he is ordered to the outside while Uber pulls Tony into a sitting position and wrenches his neck. "To-nee" "To-nee" "To-nee" COLE These fans are slowly but surely getting behind Tony Brannigan. Uber releases the hold and tags in Frank before dragging Tony back up. They whip him into the ropes and try a double Soonerline, but Tony ducks it and launches himself into the air on the rebound with a clothesline of his own, knocking both brothers to the mat. Tony quickly rolls over to his corner and tags Longdogger Pete. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH The OAOAST's AARP representative is in the match! Longdogger rushes over and peppers Uber with overhand right hands, turning to give more of the same to Frank as he gets back up. He backs up and crashes into Uber with a clothesline, knocking him to the mat. Frank grabs him in the back of the neck, but Pete slaps his arms away and slugs him back into the ropes before taking a few steps back and rushing in with a clothesline that sends him toppling to the floor. Uber charges at him, but Pete sees him out of the corner of his eye and steps aside, pushing Uber as he goes by, the momentum sending him over the top as well. COLE That "old man" is taking it to the Bruisers right now. Knight taunts him from the apron, so LDP simply turns and pops him with a forearm to the mush, sending Knight off the apron. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE And there goes the former champion. We have to take a break, but we'll have more of this six-man tag right after this on HeldDOWN~! [b]Commercials[/b] As we return, Longdogger Pete is in a bad position as Frank has a rear chinlock clamped in. The crowd claps along, trying to rally the SWF star, but Frank saves him the trouble and releases the hold himself, pulling Pete to his feet and backing him into his corner, choking him and forcing Patrick to physically pull him off. With Nick's back turned, Uber and Knight take turns punishing Pete in the corner. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Come on, they've been doing this all during the break. Someone buy Nick Patrick a clue. COACH Remember, it ain't cheating if you don't get caught. As Patrick turns back, Uber and Knight quickly pretend like nothing is happening and Knight tags in. A sly smile crosses Knight's face as he steps through the ropes. COACH That isn't a friendly smile, Cole. Knight shoves LDP into the corner and talks more trash, rearing back and stinging him in the chest with a hard chop. And another. LDP tries to rally with a boot to the gut, but Knight answers with a forearm to the back, the stinging sound of flesh on flesh picked up by the cameraman's microphone as he gets a good shot. Knight whips him into another corner and follows in with a hard clothesline. Knight gestures to the crowd, drawing boos, but some fans suddenly begin buzzing, looking away from the ring. COLE Knight's been gunning for Longdogger since he eliminated him at Battlebowl.......wait, who's that? Suddenly, a figure in a black hoody hops the barrier near the Sooner Bruisers' corner and pulls on Frank's foot, knocking him off the apron. Uber, surprised, jumps down and grabs the person, the hood falling off revealing who it is. :headbang: :headbang: :headbang: COLE It's Synth! Uber's shock doesn't abade as Synth rocks him with right hands. Frank, seeing his brother being pummled, jumps on Synth and knocks him to the floor. COLE The Bruisers and Heavenly Rockers have had problems over the past month, including what happened last week, but it looks like Synth is trying to get some revenge! Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be working out for Synth, as the Bruisers double team him on the floor. Suddenly, a figure zooms into the frame and clotheslines Uber. COLE Tony! Tony Brannigan is coming to his aid again! COACH And here comes Dan Black as well! COLE Things have totally broken down here! Indeed, Nick Patrick leans through the ropes to demand both teams get back in their corners, but it is a futile attempt. Meanwhile, Knight, ignoring the commotion in the ring, ducks a Longdogger clothesline and scoops him up in a fireman's carry! COLE And in the ring, Peter Knight is looking to finish it! Knight begins to rotate LDP off......but he slips free and lands behind Knight! He spins Knight around..... KICK! WHAM! LONGDOGGER CLOGGER! "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" COLE Longdogger Clogger! Longdogger Clogger on Peter Knight! Here's the cover! 1......... 2.......... Knight struggles to get free while LDP struggles to keep his shoulders pinned....... And LDP wins the battle. 3!!!!!!!! "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" *DING DING* COLE He got him! Longdogger Pete has pinned Peter Knight! COACH WHAT!? Knight kicks out right after the three count and rolls to his knees, eyes wide as the realization comes over him. The match over, officials rush to break up the melee on the outside. COLE Peter Knight cannot believe it. He said Longdogger had never pinned him in a real match....but he has just done it! COACH FLUKE! FLUUUUUUUUUKE! BUFFER LLadies and gentlemen, here are your winners, the team of Black T and Longdoggerrrrrrrrrrrr Peeeeeeeeeeeeeete!! Longdogger scoots to the outside and gets his hand raised by Patrick on the floor as Knight absolutely loses it in the ring, kicking and slapping the ropes after a man nearly twice his age surprised him and got a victory. COLE A huge victory for the former SWF star. Let's go to the back and Josh Matthews. We return with an [i]irate[/i] Peter Knight stomping through the halls. He kicks over a garbage can, spilling it's contents all over the floor. Knight looks at each door as he passes them until he finds the one he wants, which he opens with a swift kick. The camera follows him in, and it is revealed that we are in Bill Watts' office. A shocked Watts looks up from his paperwork. WATTS Peter, what can I...... *SLAM* Knight slaps both his hands on the oak desk which quiets the OAOAST President. KNIGHT I want him. I want Longdogger Pete, ONE-ON-ONE, at World Without End. I don't give a DAMN if you had other plans, because that's what I want. WATTS Well, I'm sure we can..... KNIGHT No disqualifications, no countouts, no nothing. I can do whatever I want to him so I can pin his ass to the mat and get him out of my life. WATTS Peter, why don't you calm.... *SLAM* *SLAM* *SLAM* KNIGHT SHUT UP! You want me to sweeten the pot? Fine. If I don't beat that old man in that match.....I'm done. WATTS Let's talk... KNIGHT I will retire from wrestling if I don't beat him at World Without End. If I can beat that washed up old bastard, then I don't deserve to be in this sport. That's it.....make it happen. *SLAM* Knight kicks the desk, nearly toppling it onto poor Bill Watts before he stomps off, the slam of the door marking his exit. COACH Did I just hear right? Knight will [i]retire[/i] if he can't beat Longdogger? COLE Peter Knight is not thinking straight right now. He is [i]obsessed[/i] with that man. I really hope that Knight reconsiders this before it ends up costing him everything.

"A full house, a British inmate, and the Boston Red Sox bullpen" *Rip* *Poof* "Name three things that can't beat a Royal." SIX fucking runs in the 12th? To the ROYALS? 1:05PM tomorrow can't come fast enough.

Yeah, Jeremy's definitely the new champion of stupidity. I like how they went the sympathy route with how he's been living in his car for months and how he wants the money to improve his life right before showing him being a complete moron and throwing it all away. I've been a little down on the season so far (no real excitement in either the house or the Octagon), but it looks like next week's debut of "Everybody Hates Shonie" will spice things up.

And Mike Timlin did it again, giving the lead right back in the 9th. I think his windup is being affected by that giant fork sticking out of his back.

As announced last week: The Sooner Bruisers and Peter Knight vs. Black T and Longdogger Pete.