KingPK

Gasolina hits, and Colombian Heat gets a nice ovation as he comes through the curtains to the ring. COLE Colombian Heat up next, let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following is the second Beat-the-Clock match of the evening, scheduled for one fall, with a 15-minute time limit! Making his way to the ring, hailing from Miami, Florida, and weighing in at 180 pounds...COOOOOOOLOMMMMMMMMMMMBIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!! COLE Well Coach, Colombian Heat was considered sort of an oddball entry into this match when it was announced a couple weeks ago, but last week, Colombian Heat, right in the middle of the ring, scored a pinfall on former World champion Alfdogg in that ten-man elimination match! COACH I still can't believe it, Cole. I think he really opened a lot of people's eyes last week, including my own! Heat slides in and poses on the buckles, then stands on the buckle nearest the aisleway and waits on his opponent. Tom Sawyer hits, and Rick Heyross leads out Felix Strutter. COACH Uh-oh, it's one half of the best tag team in the world! BUFFER His opponent, accompanied by his manager, Rick Heyross...hailing from Thunder Bay, Ontario, and weighing in at 218 pounds..."AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFELIXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX SSSSSSSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! Strutter climbs in, and poses for the crowd, drawing boos, then steps down into his corner. BUFFER The time to beat is 12 minutes, 11 seconds, set by Reject. The referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Heat and Strutter circle the ring, and tie up. Strutter hits a knee to the midsection, then delivers double axhandle blows to the back, sending Heat down to his knees. Strutter whips Heat into the ropes, but Heat ducks a clothesline and nails Strutter with a flying forearm! Heat follows up with a dropkick, and Strutter rolls to the outside! COLE And the action fast and furious in that sequence, which we expected, and Colombian Heat with the advantage thus far! And Heyross giving his man some advice! Strutter climbs in, and circles the ring once again. Once again, Strutter goes to the midsection. He whips Heat to the ropes, but puts his head down, and Heat delivers a kick! Heat then whips Strutter into a corner, and charges, but Strutter gets his feet up, knocking Heat right to the mat! COACH Heat should have followed up on that kick to the face, instead of going for a corner charge right there! Now he's in trouble already! Strutter comes out of the corner and backs into the ropes, hitting Heat with an elbow to the sternum! COLE And now Strutter sort of methodically laying in the punishment! Strutter backs up again, and drives another elbow, then stands up and delivers a jumping kneedrop! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter picks up Heat, and backs him into the corner, delivering a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! He then pulls Heat out and whips him into the ropes, catching him in a sleeperhold! COLE Nice sleeper by Strutter! Strutter cinches on the sleeper, but Heat still attempts to reach the ropes. Finally, Strutter is able to force him to the mat, and leans back on the sleeper. Heat slowly fades, and the referee checks the arm. ONE!!! TWO!!! Heat holds through on the third lift, and struggles to his feet. He delivers an elbow to the gut! Then another! A third! He runs to the ropes, then ducks a clothesline, but Strutter DRILLS him with a spinning wheel kick! Strutter celebrates his feat briefly, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter complains briefly to the referee. COLE If he covered right away, he might have got the pin there! Can't blame the referee for that one! As Heat tries to get up, Strutter hammers away on the back. Heat fights his way up, and begins trading blows! COLE And Heat fighting back on Felix Strutter! After a brief exchange, Strutter goes to the eyes, then delivers a foot to the gut, and a DOUBLE-ARM DDT~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COACH Heat had better get something going if he wants to beat Reject's time! Strutter picks up Heat, and sets up a suplex, but Heat reverses to a small package! COLE A counter! 1... 2... NO! Kickout! Strutter pops up, and hits a seated dropkick from behind! Strutter then picks up Heat, and delivers a snap suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter goes to the sleeper again, but this time, Heat drops to his ass, delivering a jawbreaker! Strutter falls back into the corner, and Heat slowly gets up and follows, ramming his head into the buckles as the crowd counts along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! Heat then shoves Strutter back into the corner and climbs on the buckles, and the crowd counts along once again with punches! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! Heat shoves Strutter forward to the mat, then climbs to the top rope. COLE And Heat's gonna fly! Heat comes off with a HURRICANRANA~! COLE Big move by Heat, here's the cover! 1... 2... NO! Strutter gets a shoulder up! Strutter gets to his feet and staggers into the ropes. Heat charges, and Strutter backdrops him over, but Heat hangs onto the ropes and catches his balance on the apron! Strutter takes a swing, but Heat ducks and rams him in the gut, then springs over with a sunset flip! Strutter grabs the ropes and kneels down... COLE Wait a minute! 1... 2... ...the referee looks up and sees Strutter's hands on the ropes! Strutter quickly lets go and pleads innocence, and Heat rolls him up! 1... 2... NO! Kickout! Heat gets up and charges Strutter, but Strutter trips him with a drop toe-hold, then holds it, floats over, and applies the STF~!!! COACH Whoa! COLE Strutter with the STF out of nowhere! Heat is right in the middle of the ring and in trouble! COACH Kiss WWE goodbye, Heat! Heat struggles, and slowly creeps towards the ropes. COLE Heat scooting over there slowly, but surely! Heat stops, and lays flat on the mat, then suddenly rolls himself over, and both men roll right out of the ring to the floor! COACH Well, that's one way to escape, I guess! COLE It wasn't pretty, but Heat got out of that STF! Heat climbs onto the apron slowly, then waits for Strutter to get up...and hits an ASAI MOONSAULT~!!! COLE WESTSIDE MOONSAULT by Colombian Heat! Heat signals the "W" out to the crowd, and gets a big pop! He then rolls Strutter back into the ring and whips him hard into the corner, then ducks down, scoops him up...and drops him with the COLOMBIAN NECKTIE~!!!111 COLE There's the NECKTIE, and the cover... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE And we've got a new time to beat! BUFFER The winner of the match, in a time of eight minutes, 45 seconds...COOOOOOOLOMMMMMMMMMMMBIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!! COLE With plenty of time to spare, Colombian Heat has defeated Reject's time! COACH That's going to be a tough one to beat, considering the quality of opposition! COLE Colombian Heat continues to impress everyone. Will it mean the ultimate advantage? We'll find out next week. The camera cuts to the backstage area where it focuses on a door marked "THE LIGHTNING CREW". The crowd boos loudly. But then, the door opens, and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican comes out, and the crowd...boos and cheers. Stephen Joseph Popick follows him out the door, holding PR's black briefcase. PRL adjusts his sunglasses, grabs the briefcase, and starts walking, with Popick right behind him. COLE There's "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick. PRL's going to appear in the ring after this break. Will he tell us what stipulation he picked for his match against Drek Stone at World Without End? We'll find out. Next! Commercials

*BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE Here we go! The crowd in the arena rise to their feet as through the HeldDOWN~! entrance doors of sliding doom, looking as ice cool as ever, Bohemoth strides into view. The shades are on. The suit is off. The body oil is applied. And The Meterosexual Monster is ready for a fight this week as he strides down the aisle towards the ring. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, on his way to the ring is the challenger! Hailing from Greenville, South Carolina... he weighs two hundred, eighty four pounds... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHEEEEEEEEEEMMMMOOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bo jogs up the ring steps and enters the ring, removing the orange tinted glasses for the first time and handing them safely to referee Nick Patrick. COLE And Bohemoth has come dressed to fight tonight! Last week on HeldDOWN~!, Landon Maddix laid out an invitation to anyone in the OAOAST locker room to challenge him for the 24/7 Title. Just like tonight, Bohemoth came out with a match in mind, but Maddix had other ideas... OAOAST BACKTRACKER, is brought to you by Mrs. Spezia's Sweeties... Back to live action and Bohemoth has re-watched this footage, with the crowd, on the AngleTron, which has only seemed to make him more eager to get on with the match. COLE Well, one week later and hopefully Landon's got all the ratings he was hoping for. COACH And, therefore, more money for us. COLE I don't think it works like that Coach. He might earn himself some more money. Although, if he comes up on the losing end to Bohemoth tonight, he'll be missing out on visiting the almighty pay window after tonight's show anyway. For now, there seems to be no sign of Landon, Bohemoth keeping his cool about it for the time being, being the cool customer that he is. BUFFER And, introducing his opponent... "REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!" As "Personal Jesus" cues up, the crowd show aren't shy about making their feelings known, turning the arena into a cauldron of less than welcoming noise for the 24/7 Champion. Leading the way is Megan Skye, as usual. But unlike usual, the charge that follows her out isn't smiling, or posturing, or generally being a cocky SOB. With a noticeable limp in his step, Landon Maddix steps through the entrance doors. The hair on the top of his head is lying awkwardly, as the scalp beneath it has been stitched together. His right shoulder is obviously strapped up underneath his shirt. And there's a grimace on his face, as Megan is cleary concerned for her man, shooing away the cameraman in front of the duo. BUFFER He is accompanied to the ring by MEGAN SKYE! Hailing from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain. He weighs in at two hundred and twenty pounds... the reigning, defending OAOAST 24/7 Champion... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMAAAAAADDIIIIIIXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Getting zero percent sympathy from the fans, Landon gingerly manoeuvres down to the ring, dragging his 24/7 Title limply behind him. Maddix slowly climbs up the steps, Megan ensuring Bohemoth keeps his distance while Landon stops and favours his shoulder. COLE For those of you unaware, on Sunday night, Landon Maddix competed for the SWF at their premiere, showpiece event Genesis VII in a Steel Cage Match. And as you can see, despite winning that match, he's still carrying the scars and wounds from that brutal encounter. COACH No kidding. Maybe Maddix is burning the candle at both ends a little. COLE Either way, he's in for a tough night tonight. Landon still remains on the apron while Megan takes the ring mic from Michael Buffer, handing it caringly to her man. It seems even clenching his knuckles to grip a microphone is a task too much for Landon. That may have something to do with the camera pointed right at him, not that I, your humble narrator, would ever accuse him of milking an injury for sympathy. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" *clap clap clapclapclap* MADDIX I haven't said anything yet you morons! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" MADDIX Now, I... "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" *clap clap clapclapclap* With barely the energy to argue, Maddix hangs his head on the top turnbuckle. Bohemoth is getting a tad impatient now and quickly Megan shuffles Landon down the ring steps to the floor, knowing that the referee can't really hold Bo back in a 24/7 Rules match. MADDIX As you can all see, tonight, I am far from 100%. Last Sunday night, I went through... nay, I endured one of the toughest matches of my life. Inside of a fifteen foot high, steel barred cage, I fought... and gallantly defeated, I might add... a convincted felon intent on and fully capable of manslaughter, at the grandest stage of them all, Genesis VII! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX Anyone who saw that match knows the punishment I took. Both before and after the match. My head was split open. My blood stained the canvas. I had to be physically escorted from the ring, to the backstage area, unable to support my own body weight. All this, just 96 hours ago. So, with that in mind, it's my sad duty to present you, Nick Patrick, with this. Landon gives the signal to Megan, who reaches into the back pocket of her jeans and hands her man a note. Unravelling the paper, Landon clears his throat, Bo watching on in frustration. MADDIX A letter, penned from the desk of SWF Commisioner, Joseph Peters. In which, he writes, "After the events of SWF Genesis VII, it is my sad duty to inform you of injuries obtained by one half of our SWF World Tag Team Champions, for a fourth time I may add... who is also our two-time SWF World Heavyweight Champion, former SWF International Champion, three-time SWF ICTV Champion, two-time SWF USJL Champion, 2005 SWF Clusterfuck Winner and 2004 Cold Front Classic Winner. Therefore, we regretful notify you that he will not be able to fulfill his commitments for this Thursday's edition of OATTOAST "HellTown". On behalf of the SWF, we apologise for any inconvenience. Signed, Joseph Peters, Smartmarks Wrestling Federation Commisioner." COLE Well, at least it wasn't from his mommy. But, still, give me a break! Bohemoth is unimpressed to say the least. Cautiously, Landon passes the note into the ring for Patrick to check. But before he can do so, the note is promptly shredded into pieces by Bo, dusting his hands in satisfaction as Landon tries not to flip out on the floor. "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE So much for the note. MADDIX You know what... note or no note, it doesn't matter. The simple fact is, I'm not medically cleared to compete here tonight. So, with that cleared up, I've got a massage table with my name on it, you're screwed, goodbye. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The crowd let Landon have it as he drops the microphone and calls Megan over to help him, as he backs up the rampway, keeping a close eye on Bohemoth as he stares from the ring with his natural cool being severely tested. But suddenly, as Landon begins to retreat, the fans start to go wild, at the sight of two figures rushing down the ramp and simultaneously grabbing Maddix by the hair, no disregard for his injuries as they pitch him into the ring. 'They' being SCOTTY STATIC and JOHNNY JACKSON. "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Wait...The GPX!? The hell? COLE Johnny Jax and Scotty Static have just thrown Landon to the lions! Clambering up to his feet with the ropes used for assistance, Maddix turns out to The GPX and points the finger in their direction, nursing his right shoulder as he screams blue murder at two thirds of the 6-Man Tag Team Champions. However, they just smile. And point back. Slowly, Landon comes to the realisation of where he is and his mouth stops motoring as he looks up at the AngleTron in fear, noticing Bohemoth behind him and turning meekly around...into a MURDERLINE~! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" As Maddix flops around on the canvas, The GPX are content to walk away, leaving Landon to face his payback. Grabbing a handful of blond hair, Bohemoth drags the 24/7 Champion off the canvas and grabs the wrist, throwing him into the turnbuckles with a hard irish whip! Maddix hits the buckles and wobbles slowly out, struggling to keep his balance, as Bo does a 360, surveying the crowd. Thumbs up. Thumbs DOOOOOOWN~! COLE Good news for Landon, I think the ratings just spiked! That's about all the good news though. As he stumbles towards the centre of the ring, Maddix tries to hold up his hands and seek some sympathy. But that's a futile exercise, as Bohemoth knocks the hands away and scoops Landon up into his arms like a small child. Another 360 follows, Bohemoth parading the 24/7 Champion for all to see... before swinging him around... ...out... ...and DOWN~! COLE Erotic Awakening Of B!! COACH What the hell is going on!? Is this even a match? COLE Not for much longer. With his eyes locked on Megan, making sure she doesn't plan on making a save, Bohemoth places a hand on Landon's chest... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE We've got a new champion! "Liberate" strikes up again and the crowd erupt, as Bohemoth calmly pushes back to his feet. Referee Nick Patrick retrieves the 24/7 Title from the floor and slides back into the ring, handing the belt to The Meterosexual Monster who raises it high overhead. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your NEW 24/7 CHAMPION... BBOOOOOOOOO - HHHHEEEEEEMMMOOOOOOOTHHHHHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Well, Landon might not have been cleared to compete tonight, but no doctor's note or note from a Commisioner is going to cover having to defend a championship twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. And official match or not, the result is the same. Bohemoth has defeated Landon Maddix and is your new 24/7 Champion! COACH Man, I don't know about this. COLE It's in the record books, Coach. COACH I know, I know. But... I mean, Landon's an SWF guy, but even so, I'm not so sure this is right. Landon was clearly injured and he didn't stand a chance against Bo tonight. COLE The belt's on the line, 24/7. Bo was promised a 24/7 Title match tonight and this was the next best thing. And he's got The GPX to thank. COACH Yeah, what the hell was that all about? COLE Landon interfering in their Hooligan Street Fight two weeks ago maybe? COACH Yeah, but Landon helped The GPX... well, sorta anyway. COLE Whatever the reasoning, Bohemoth is the new 24/7 Champion and we're heading for another commercial break. NEXT: Colombian Heat tries to Beat the Cock......dammit Coach.

Inside the Toyota Center, the lumberjacks involved in the next match have surrounded the ring. They include Black T, The Sooner Bruisers, Synth of the Heavenly Rockers, Lone Star Gunslingers, South Central Militia. * DING * DING * DING * DING * BUFFER LLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, the following contest on HeldDOWN~! is a LUMBERJACK match! Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime The music of Blondie plays for a second time tonight. The Beverly Hills Blonds ANGERILY~! march to the ring, sneering. The hazmat suits wore earlier in the night replaced by their wrestling attire. Simon and Ned nod in disapproval after viewing the lumberjack. None of whom could be considered allies. COACH Simon and Ned are in a terrible disadvantage, Mikey. In every lumberjack match I've seen the competitiors involved have had their fair share of supporters. The Blonds have none. COLE Synth is the only person the Blonds have ever had a grudge with in the past. So I'd say the choice in lumberjacks is fair. Although I can't help but wonder about The Sooner Bruisers. Last week they served as Theodore Moneymaker's "insurance policy." Who's to say he didn't buy the Bruisers services again this week? BUFFER And their opponents...! An old school ambulance SIREN blares through the loud speakers, the red strobe lights spinning like crazy. Simon and Ned just about keel over in excitement thinking their opponents are Rescue 911 until an unfamiliar piece of music hits. Whooaaaaa The hot summer night fell like a net I've got to find my baby yet I need you to soothe my head Turn my blue heart to red Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" SIMON & NED :o COLE THE LOVE DOCTORS! Doctors Max Anderson and Steven Pigley strut onto stage to the tune of Robert Palmer's "Bad Case Of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor)", driving the ladies into a frenzy with their gyratations. The Doctors of Love perform a rather risque striptease in front of two lucky ladies after going around the ring high-fiving and hugging (women only) fans. The Docs throw their lab coats into the crowd, causing the pretty LAYDEEZ~ to fight over the rights. Max and Steven hop on the apron and simultaneously remove their scrubs to loud female shrieks, and are attacked from behind as they pull their shirts over their heads. The Beverly Hills Blonds the aggressors in the early going, bringing the Docs inside the ring by their hair, using the Docs own shirts to CHOKE them! Simon and Ned whip Anderson and Pigley to the ropes. The Doctors of Doctornomics leapfrog a pair of attempted back bodydrops and send the Blonds reeling to the floor with precision dropkicks! COLE And out go the Blonds. COACH This is the by product of Watts booking the Blonds in a match on short notice. They've had no time to prepare. It's not right. COLE The attack on Los Diablos de Fuego wasn't right either, but I didn't hear you complain then. Haven't you ever heard the phrase, "what goes around comes around"? Karma at its finest. Simon and Ned land in the wrong side of town, home of The Sooner Bruisers. But rather than toss the Blonds back in like they're supposed to, Big Frank and Uber HELP them to their feet. Tony Brannigan and Synth know how to do the job, moving the Bruisers aside and throwing the Blonds in themselves. The Sooners aren't the only ones unhappy about that, so are the Beverly Hills Blonds. Synth and Tony avoiding kicks directed their way. A shoving match ensues on the arena floor between Tony/Synth and the Sooners. Dan Black having to pull Tony away from the other 3 men. A peaceful end to a potentially violent standoff. Bigger problems lie ahead for the Blonds. The Love Doctors charge forward and leap up...stereo headscissor takedowns! A fury of right hands are unleashed on Simon and Ned. The Blonds shot to the ropes and backdropped on the rebound. Double dropkick on Ned! Double hip toss on Simon! Then brought together for a meeting of the minds. DOUBLE COCONUT! The Blonds go their separate ways. Blanchard out on the apron, Singleton down near the center of the ring. Dr. Stephen Irish whips his own colleague, crotching down as Dr. Max springs off the ropes and leapfrogs over him, splashing "The Video Voyeur"! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Simon is brought up in a arm wringer and dragged to the corner. Dr. Steven Pigley with a double axe handle smash from the second rope! The Love Doctors utilize a series of quick tags to drop axe handle smashes onto the outstretch arm of Singleton. Dr. Steven flawlessly performs a routine arm wringer, armdrag and armbar in succession. The cocky blond in pain, gritting his teeth and grimacing. He returns to a vertical base and rakes the eyes, then clobbers Pigley. Irish whipped reversed. A blind tag made by The Love Doctors. Simon tackles Steven to the mat and hits the near side. Pigley rolls over but doesn't play dead, popping up after Simon goes over the top and leapfrogs him again on the rebound, then a fun game of CRISS-CROSS. Both men picking up steam. Simon stops in his tracks to surprise Dr. Steven with a monkey flip, but it's he who is stunned when Pigley cradles him in midair. Paging Dr. Anderson. ATOMIC DROP/DROPKICK COMBO! COLE The Lovematic Grampa! ONE... TWO... THR--NO! Simon's face smashed in the turnbuckle. Dr. Max traps him in the corner and climbs onto the second rope, driving his fist into the face. Irish whip to the buckle, Simon getting the boot up as Anderson charges in. Simon climbs to the top, only to crotch himself on the turnbuckle after a dropkick to the midsection from Max Anderson, M.D.! Max rocks Singleton some more with Kobashi Spinning Backfists, before going up and delivering a superplex! Another exchange made by The Love Doctors. Steven Pigley...SHOOTING STAR ELBOW DROP!! COLE That brings the crowd out of their seats. The Love Doctors on the verge of defeating the former 3-time World tag team champions. ONE... TWO... THREE-- KICKOUT! Dr. Steven attempts to follow with a Crucifix Bomb, but Simon squirms free and Irish whips Pigley. Ned Blanchard pulls down on the top rope as Steven nears, causing him to tumble over the top to the floor! Singleton distracts the referee while Blanchard does the dirty work outside, ramming Dr. Steven into the guardrail! The Handsome Hustler hammers away on Steven, chopping the hell outta him. Dr. Max takes matters into his own hands, coming to the aid of his colleague, but Nick Patrick cuts him off and orders the doc back to his corner. Simon antagonzies Anderson, baiting him inside the ring to allow Ned more time to punish Steven outside, tossing him into the 10,000 pound steel steps! Ned denies any foul play as he's spotted rolling Pigley back in, nonchalantly returning to his corner, dusting his hands as to say that was a piece of cake. COACH We're seeing why the Blonds are the best tag team in the OAOAST, Mikey. Just when it looked like they were in trouble, they turn it all around. Only the great ones can do that. Ned official tags in, and makes an immediate impact...stomping Dr. Steven while he's down! Simon acting like his buddy just kicked Shawn Michaels' ass in Syracuse, New York. Blanchard places Pigley throat-first on the middle rope and hits the far side, crashing all his weight down onto the upper back of Steven. For once in his life Ned actually obliges by the rules, walking away to give Dr. Steven time to come out of the corner. Or so we thought. The Handsome Hustler living up to his nakesake, hustling Nick Patrick into a friendly conversation to buy Simon the time he needs to kick Pigley right in the kisser, snapping the ladies man doctor backward! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The ladies shriek in horror. Teen and pre-teen girls crying and wishing death on Simon for possibly ruining Dr. Pigley's movie star features. Simon feels their pain and enjoys it, faking mooning the crowd, and sending baseball and football announcer/Budweiser pitchman Joe Buck into a tirade somewhere in America. Blanchard drops a knee on Pigley's face for the hell of it, slamming him and climbing onto the ropes afterward. Elbow from the second rope misses its mark. Dr. Steven rallies. Punching and chopping his way back into the match, leaving Ned jelly-legged. Pigley hits a FLATLINER and covers! ONE... TWO... THRE-- NO! Saved made by Simon, who's chastised for his interference. Singleton brushes the referee aside as Dr. Steven approaches. Right hand blocked by Pigley. Enzurigi disposes the cocky blond. The Handsome Hustler clobbering Steven from behind, taking the doctor for a ride to the far corner, but the physican-turned-wrestler jumps onto the second rope and dives back at Ned...FLYING CROSSBODY! ONE... TWO... THR-- KICKOUT! His adreanline pumping Dr. Steven doesn't even think about tagging out, hitting a Thes Press from the second rope! ONE... TWO... TH-- TWO! Pigley somersaults off Blanchard and decks Simon on the apron! Now he looks to make the tag, but he'll have to hurdle over Ned to get to his corner. Steven sprints towards Ned and leaps as high in the air as he can, Blanchard's 2" height advantage coming into play as he's able to grab ahold of Pigley, spin and Hot Shot him on the top rope! Dr. Pigley experiences a nasty whiplash effect as his head jerks back violently. Simon accepts the tag and ascends to the top, a prone doctor lying down below. FLYING ELBOW DROP! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO! Dr. Max Anderson doesn't blow the save in a big spot, breaking up the pin just in time. Simon and Ned get under Max's skin long enough for them to execute a DOUBLE FLAPJACK behind the ref's back. Nick Patrick goes to count but again Max disrupts the pin. COACH As unfair as the match is, at least the lumberjacks have had enough respect not to interfere in the contest. Unlike Max Anderson. Simon hits the ropes following a snapmare and plants the knee...into nothing but canvas! Steven rolling away, setting Simon up for a Figure Four...NO! Simon kicks him off to the Blonds corner, but Steven lowers the shoulder and thrusts it into the gut of Ned Blanchard, flipping him inside the ring. Simon misses a spear in the corner, jamming his shoulder into the middle turnbuckle as Dr. Pigley pulls his legs up and rolls through with a sunset flip! ONE... TWO... TH-- KICKOUT! Both men roll back onto their feet. Simon lunging forward and again smashing into the turnbuckles as Dr. Steven leapfrogs. Ned Blanchard stands in his way, charging full steam ahead...but Steven ducks and the Blonds collide! Pigley somersaults to his corner and makes the HOT TAG! Dr. Max Anderson en euego, striking down the Blonds like his fists are the wrath of God. Two scoops and a slam. Anderson backdropping Simon into the arms of Ned, who catches his partner in a piledriver position...only to have Dr. Steven Pigley dropkick him in the back, causing Blanchard to pancake Simon! Dr. Steven declares Ned's TIME OF DEATH at this moment, spiking him with his version of the Michinoku Driver! Dr. Max swivels the hips as he points to the top, drawing from the ladies. Simon and Ned, meanwhile, undergo a session of SHOCK THERAPY (450 Splash)! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" ONE... TWO... THREE! NO!! The Sooner Bruisers pull Dr. Max outside and begin pummeling him. Before the badly positioned referee can see what all the commotion is about, Big Frank and Uber Bruiser are wiped out by a Dr. Steven Pigley TOPE! All hell breaks loose as the lumberjacks engage in gang warfare. The Lone Star Gunslingers and South Central Militia renewing their rivarly, while old wounds open when Synth rocks Dan Black. The Synthmeister and Tony Brannigan unknowingly bump into each other. With all the mayhem around him Brannigan just swings wildly...leveling Dan Black! TONY Brannigan clearly upset. He'd rather be upset than in pain. That's the spot he finds himself in as he becomes the target of a 2 on 1 attack at the hands of the team he and Dan will meet at World Without End, The Sooner Bruisers. COLE The Sooners trying to soften up Tony Brannigan prior to World Without End, October 1st. The Bruisers overwhelming the former World Champion and current World tag team champion. COACH That's what he gets for laying a finger on Big Frank. COLE He never touched him! COACH You're obviously not watching the same match I am. Synth returns the favor from Angleslam, coming to the aid of his one-time rival Tony Brannigan. Synth beating on Frank and Uber like a wildman -- punching, kicking, biting and even scratching! Tony rejoins the mini-battle royal outside, exchanging fire with Big Frank. Dan Black left in amazement as he watches his partner and co-holder of the OAOAST World tag team championship fight alongside a member of the team they defeated a month ago for the gold. As the action continues outside, it resumes inside. The Love Doctors and Beverly Hills Blonds trading blows. The Doctors Of Love duck punches from the Blonds and hit a pair of atomic drops, then clamp on stereo sleeper holds! COACH Come on, fellas. Fight it. You gotta fight it. COLE The Beverly Hills Blonds being put to sleep in front of a worldwide television audience. Mackenzie DeCenzo aging in front of the screen wherever she is. "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!" The Blonds experience an allergic reaction that causes their legs to kick back, crunching Max and Steven in the areas most private and vital to a man. Ned Blanchard's 90210 enzurigi deletes Dr. Pigley's role in the final scene. Simon and Ned hit a double DDT on Dr. Anderson and prepare to drop the Atomic Blond. The Blonds take their places on opposite corners, but the wrap party is delayed when the brawl between The Sooner Bruisers and Tony Brannigan/Synth spills inside. The Blonds demanding Nick Patrick remove them from the set. Patrick is caught in the crossfire, popped in the face by a Big Frank elbow. The Blonds remain on top, screaming for the referee to get up... "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" ...while they go down! Their heads wrapped in bandages soaking blood LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGO swipe the Blonds' legs out from under, crotching them on the top turnbuckles! Unfortunately for Simon, unlike Ned, he falls from the top back into the ring. The Love Doctors seize the opportunity. Dr. Max lifts Simon up in a bearhug as Dr. Steven flies through the air and hits a seated senton! COLE Guerney to the Center of the Earth! Dr. Max Anderson covers! ONE... TWO... THREE! * DING DING DING * COACH What? No way. Whooaaaaa The hot summer night fell like a net I've got to find my baby yet I need you to soothe my head Turn my blue heart to red Doctor, doctor, give me the news BUFFER Here are your winners...THE LOVE DOCTORS! COLE My goodness, Coach! Los Diablos have one up the Beverly Hills Blonds! Hahahaha! COACH That ain't right. It just ain't right. The Blonds had the match won. Somebody please reverse the decision. The Blonds remain down in the ring. The Love Doctors going outside ringside high-fiving and hugging fans just like they did during the intro. Los Diablos themselves get in on the act, doing the La Macarena onstage with added pelvic thrusts in the direction of Simon and Ned. COLE This will be a night Simon and Ned never forget. Let's go back to Josh. We SWOOP~! to the back where Matthews is standing by with Peter Knight. JOSH Thank you Michael. (To Knight) So we've gotten an acceptance from Longdogger Pete of your challenge for World Without End. Are you sure you want to put your career on the line in one match? KNIGHT (chuckling) That's all I've been hearing this week. "Why are you doing this?" "Are you insane?" No....I am confident. Last week was a fluke; AngleSlam was a joke. At World Without End, it will be just him and me in that ring, no cages, no stupid rules, nothing like that. This year alone I've main evented AngleMania, fought in an 18-foot high cell, bled and brutalized my body to a degree I've never done before. This match, by comparison, will be a walk in the park. Longdogger Pete is walking on two reconstructed knees, he's old, he's in no condition to really get down and dirty in the ring with someone like me. Sure, he's been in some "hardcore" matches in his old company.....but he hasn't faced me in my prime. I put my career on the line because I want it to motivate me. At WWE, Longdogger is going to try to end MY career, take money out of MY pocket, food out of MY mouth. I will do anything, ANYTHING in my power to stop him. If that means his knees popping and tearing like old tires, it won't matter. At WWE, all the King's horses and all the King's men won't be able to put Longdogger Pete together again. Knight stares a cold stare into the camera as we fade. UP NEXT: Landon Maddix vs. Bohemoth Commercial break

COLE We're back on HeldDOWN! Well, one of our major happenings of the last few weeks has been the war between Longdogger Pete and former OAOAST champion Peter Knight. Last week, Knight challenged Pete to a match at World Without End, even going so far as to put his career on the line! Right now we take you backstage where Longdogger Pete has a few words for us. PETE So last week in the six-man tag, I defeated Peter Knight yet again, with a little help from Black T. After the match, Peter Knight challenged me to a match at World Without End... with no rules. No holds barred. He also said that if he can't beat me at World Without End, he will retire from the OAOAST. And now... you people want to know if I accept? (pause) PETE You're damn right I accept! Peter Knight has been nothing but a thorn in my side ever since I came to the OAOAST. No longer! I don't care what type of match he wants. I have beaten him again and again and again - and when I beat him at World Without End, Peter Knight will be out of my bid'ness for good! "YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Well, a short but to the point answer from the 'Dogger and we have another match set for World Without End. There is no going back for Peter Knight now. Magnum Opus hits and Alfdogg is booed loudly as he makes his way to the ring. COACH And look who's turn it is now! COLE Alf trying to beat Reject's time, let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following is the second Beat-the-Clock match of the evening, scheduled for one fall, with a 15-minute time limit! Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 240 pounds...he is a former TWO-TIME Heavyweight champion of the WORLD...ALFDOGG!!!!! Alf slides into the ring and poses on the buckles. COACH Let's see who Alf's opponent is! Alf stands with his hands on his hips. Spirit in the Sky by Norman Greenbaum hits, and Faqu comes through the curtains to a big pop. COLE And it's the HI-YAH World champion, Faqu! Alf's gonna have a hard time surpassing Reject here! BUFFER His opponent...from Samoa, weighing in at 317 pounds...he is the REIGNING HI-YAH champion of the WORLD... FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! Faqu slides into the ring, and stares at Alf while down on all fours. BUFFER The time to beat is 12 minutes, 11 seconds, set by Reject. COLE And there you hear it, Alf's got to defeat Faqu in some form in under 12:11, and he'll be the lead man! Alf looks a little tense staring at Faqu, as the referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Alf and Faqu circle the ring, then tie up. Faqu throws Alf back into the corner! COLE And Faqu overpowering Alf right out of the gate! Alf is on one knee in the corner, staring down Faqu, then gets up and circles the ring once again. Alf goes in, and grabs Faqu in a side headlock. Faqu backs Alf into the ropes, then whips him across, and shoulderchecks him to the mat on his way back! Alf lays for a second, then quickly slides to the outside as Faqu tries to pick him up. COLE And Alf has to regroup early here! He better find an answer quick, he's got a time to beat! Alf climbs back in, and circles once again. Alf moves in, and takes Faqu to the mat with a drop toe hold, then quickly pops up and drops an elbow to the back of the head. COACH And this is what Alf needs to do, use his speed! Alf grabs Faqu in a side headlock, then slowly gets to his feet. Alf turns and hooks Faqu, delivering a vertical suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf picks up Faqu and drags him into a corner, delivering a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!!!! Another CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!!!! A third CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!!!! Alf then grabs Faqu by the hair and rams him into the buckle, only to have Faqu rise back up and stare him in the eyes! COLE Big mistake, Alf! Faqu returns fire, delivering a BIG headbutt of his own, sending Alf down to the mat! Alf rolls into a corner, and Faqu follows, delivering a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!!!! Another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!!!! A third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!!!! Faqu then begins to BITE Alf on the forehead! COACH Come on, ref! Alf yells as the referee counts Faqu, who releases at four. Faqu whips Alf across the ring, and follows with a big corner clothesline! Faqu then grabs Alf by the hair, runs out of the corner, and slams him into the mat! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE And Alf in trouble early, remember, if Alf submits or is pinned, Faqu gets his spot in the Chamber! COACH WAY too early to be speculating that, Cole. Faqu picks up Alf, and delivers a BIG bodyslam! He then chokes Alf on the mat, with the referee again counting to four before he breaks. Faqu backs Alf into a corner and kicks at him some. He then whips Alf across the ring, and charges again, but this time, Alf gets a foot up! Faqu staggers back, but comes once again, and Alf floors him with a Hart Attack clothesline! Alf follows with a snap legdrop, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout with AUTHORITY~! COLE And a BIG kickout from Faqu! Alf crawls over and starts choking Faqu, drawing a four-count before breaking. Faqu rolls to the outside, and Alf follows, putting his arms around his waist and ramming him back into the ring apron! Faqu sinks to the floor, and Alf lays in a few stomps before climbing back into the ring. Alf waits on Faqu to get up, then leaps over with a PLANCHA~! COACH Wow, Alf nailed that one! Alf gets up and poses to the crowd, drawing boos, before rolling Faqu back into the ring. Alf slides in and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE And Alf going for covers quickly and often, which is the key in this match! Alf whips Faqu hard into a corner, and as Faqu comes out, Alf executes a HURRICANRANA! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf picks up Faqu, measures him...then hooks him, and delivers a BELLY-TO-BELLY! COACH Alf's setting it up here! COLE And if he sustains this momentum, he'll be the last man to enter the Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell at World Without End! Alf then delivers a T-BONE SUPLEX~!! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf stands up, and drops a standing headbutt on Faqu...which has no effect! Faqu slowly starts to come to, as Alf gathers his senses. Alf delivers a right hand to Faqu...who returns fire! A second right, same result! A third, same result! Faqu then begins firing off rights, until Alf goes to the eyes. Alf climbs to the top rope, then jumps off, but Faqu catches him with a sitout powerbomb! 1... 2... NO! Alf gets his shoulder up! Faqu then delivers a similar standing headbutt to Alf's! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf slides into a corner, and Faqu follows, delivering a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!!!! Another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!!!! A third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!!!! Faqu then delivers a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE Faqu going for the kill now! Faqu gets ready for the BUTT DROP~!, but Alf slides out of the way, and back to another corner. Faqu stalks, as Alf back off, but Alf then grabs Faqu by the tights and pulls him shoulder-first into the post! Alf waits for Faqu to come out, then lifts him and delivers the WHIPLASH~!!! Alf then goes to the top rope. COACH Here it comes, and he's not even close to Reject's time! Alf jumps off, but Faqu moves out of the way, and Alf rolls on the mat. Faqu catches him with a THRUST KICK, right to the jaw! COLE WOW, Faqu got all of that one! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Alf gets a shoulder up! Alf scoots to the apron, and Faqu hammers him on the chest. Alf reaches up and grabs the back of Faqu's head, dropping down on the ropes! Alf then signals goodbye to the ring, making his way to the back! COLE What is this? Is Alf walking out on this match? The referee counts, as Alf continues to move up the aisle. 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! The referee calls for the bell! *DING DING DING* Faqu has an upset look on his face, as the referee confers with Michael Buffer. COACH That's OK, Alf's still got his spot in the match! COLE Let's get the official decision. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed by the referee, that if Alfdogg does not return to the ring at the count of ten, not only will he lose this match, but he will also lose his spot in the match, at World Without End! The crowd goes CRAZY, as an indignant Alf makes his way back to the ring. He stands on the apron and yells at Buffer, as Faqu brings him back in the hard way! Faqu delivers a BIG headbutt, sending Alf all the way to the other side of the ring! Alf leans over the apron and tries to loot a weapon, as Faqu tries to pull him back in. He comes up with a steel chair, which he hides, then uses to jam into the gut of Faqu! Alf then gets up, and SMACKS Faqu in the head with the chair! *DING DING DING* (8:11) COLE Alf obviously disqualified for that chairshot... COACH But look at Faqu, he's still up! The shot has only staggered Faqu, who continues to stay on his feet. Alf gets a wide-eyed look on his face, then gives him another shot, which AGAIN doesn't knock him down! At this point, Alf tosses the chair to the mat and leaves the ring in a speed-walk, which turns into a run as Faqu climbs out and gives chase! COLE Well, Alf won't have a time to use for this competition, but he still has his spot in the match! A great showing by Faqu, as well! Reject still possesses the time to beat at 12 minutes, 11 seconds, with one match to go tonight and three next week! Backstage, the Beverly Hills Blonds are joined by Mackenzie DeCenzo, the trio laughing it up inside their private dressing room. Ned Blanchard pops open a bottle of champagne and guzzles it down. OAOAST correspondent Josh Matthews disgusted by the Blonds exuberant behavior. JOSH Guys, I cannot believe how--how pleased you are with yourselves. I mean, while Los Diablos de Fuego are bleeding half to death over at the trainer's room, here you are celebrating. NED Jesus Christ, son, you make it sound so grim. So Los Diablos loss a bit of blood...big deal. Merely a flesh wound. I've bled worse nicking myself shaving. Ha! JOSH Simon Singleton, you've always been thought to be the more open minded member of the group. How could you go along with the plan? SIMON Simple, Joshie. Money. The champagne in the room -- paid for by one Teddy Moneymaker. Last week Mackie gave ol' Moneybags her word we'd avenge him. And that's exactly what we did. Moracca and Mariachi found out what it is like to be attacked from behind. MACKIE As much as I'd love to take credit for the success of our lastest feature, it was a team effort. Simon and Ned penned a wonderful script worthy of an Academy Award. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon have nothing on my men. I would also like to thank my close personal friend Theodore Moneymaker for his financial contributions. I spent the last few days at Teddy's Mexico -- kinda ironic, huh? --compound hammering out the final details of our deal. Without his involvement none of this would have been possible. And here they are, the men of the hour! Mackenzie and the Blonds give Los Conquistadors a round of applause. Ned handing them bottles of Tequila, which Uno and Dos drink like water. They even share some with kidnapped Los Diablos mascot El Oveja! JOSH I think we now know who those financial contributions were spent on, Mackenzie. MACKIE Honey, you don't know the half of it. SMN Productions treat their guests first class. (to Conquistadors) Gentlemen, would you like to say a few words? JOSH They speak English? Los Conquisatadors use an ERASER BOARD to communicate their message. A modern day Wily E. Coyote. One of the Conquistadors scribble on the board and holds it up. "LOS DIABLOS ARE A DISGRACE TO LATIOS. THEY LOSERS! CONQUISTADORS NUMERE UNO!" The other Conquistador erasers the message and jots down his comments. "QUEERING DON'T MAKE THE WORLD RIGHT, NOR DOES IT MAKE YOU STAR. CONQUISTADORS NUMERE UNO!" UNO Ai, yi, yi, yi! Everyone in the room is caught off-guard by the appearance of OAOAST President BILL WATTS and SECURITY. BILL Excuse me, Josh. I sure hate to interrupt the interview, but I've got a couple of announcements to make. MACKIE Couldn't you do this on your own time? Right now it's currently for the Beverly Hills Blonds and friends. BILL Well I think you'll be interested in what I have to say, Mackenzie, because it involves you, the Blonds and your "friends." MACKIE, SIMON, NED BILL I see you ladies and gentlemen are real pleased with your actions tonight. You think you got away with the perfect plan, right? Got paid real good too I hear. SIMON Then you hear pretty good for a geezer, gramps. Blonds laugh. Bill doesn't. Conquistadors getting loaded in the background. BILL You know guys, I've known you for awhile now and it's no secret you're two of the brightest stars in the sport today, but I'm real disappoint in you both. Conscientious objectors? That's a load of B.S. and you know it. Professional wrestling is alot like the military, in that you might be placed in a tough spot during your time in service. But don't go crying when you are put in a bad spot because that's part of the risk when you sign up. It's kill or be killed. Survival of the fittest. You gotta be one bad hombre to hang in there, especially in the OAOAST. We've got plenty of colorful characters here. Los Diablos de Fuego being two of them. Now I don't agree with their choice in lifestyle, but they've proven they can compete at a high level. NED I got rights, pops. I've got beliefs. So don't shove this self-righteous crap down my throat, man! BILL I'm not shoving anything down your throat. You did that yourself once you and Simon agreed to let a skirt control your every move. NED BILL You know what I'm talking about. The contract you signed with Mackenzie DeCenzo after your split with Jim Cornette, a good friend of mine. She controls your bookings, but your under OUR control once your appear in a arena for a OAOAST event. Here's the part where you're all involved. I just came back from the trainer's room and lemme tell you, Los Diablos want a piece of you two TONIGHT. But the doctor told me they've lossed so much blood from the attack by Los Conquistadors it would be criminal negligence to let them compete. So, in the words of your good friend Teddy Moneymaker...or Theodore, as he'd like...I tell you what I'm gonna do. First, the 4 of you are fined $5,000 each. MACKIE Yawn. Cash or credit? BILL Whichever you'd prefer. I'll give you credit for that devious scheme you guys pulled off, but Simon said something that rings true. The fans pay good money to come out and see their favorite OAOAST superstars compete. And you will compete here tonight...in a LUMBERJACK MATCH! SIMON & NED MACKIE What?! BILL You heard me right. A lumberjack match. SIMON Against who?! BILL You'll find out once you're in the ring. By the way, Mackenzie, why don't you go to Money Manor or wherever it is you go to meet Theodore and cook him a meal, because Houston's finest will be escorting you OUT of the building! Conquistadors, you guys better find yourselves a good travel agent because you need to be in Louisville tomorrow night for your match. That's right. Your match. You boys have been unemployed for months, and if you expect to pay that $10,000 fine you're gonna need the work. JOSH Mr. Watts, they don't understand speak English. They can read and write it, but they can't hear it. BILL That's okay, Josh. I'll have one of our bi-lingual employees explain it to them. Law enforcement carry out Watts' orders, escorting Mackenzie and Los Conquistadors out of the building. The Blonds throwing a fit, ripping off their hazmat suits, pleading with Watts. The Cowboy has none of it, telling the Blonds to get ready because they haven't much time until their match is up. JOSH I guess that does it from here. The match is next on HeldDOWN~! Commercial break

Humidity's risin' Barometer's getting low According to all sources The street's the place to go Gingerbread men courtesy of Mrs. Spezia's Sweeties fall from the ceiling to coincide with the entrance of Los Diablos de Fuego. COLE It's raining gingerbread men, Coach. COACH Mariachi and Moracca live the gay lifestyle of "The Flintstones" and "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" eras. They love to have a gay ol' time and pretty themselves up. It's raining men - Hallejulah It's raining men - Amen It's raining men - Hallejulah It's raining men - Amen (Ow!) Pink and yellow lights flash across the arena as Los Diablos emerge onstage performing the TANGO~! with their inflatable sheep doll El Oveja. They bump and hump just about everything on their way down the ramp -- guardrails, cameramen, male fans in the front row! Moracca hands his sombrero to the hottest guy he sees and bends over for a SPANKING! MORACCA COLE (laughs) The fans in Houston having a great time. And this is the type of atomsphere you'll experience at a live OAOAST event. COACH Molested by a homosexual luchador? COLE Why are you so caught up in the homosexual aspect of Los Diablos de Fuego, Coach? You're treating them with the same kind of prejudice your people faced in the 1960s, Coach. COACH How can you compare the struggles of my people to your people, Cole? COLE My people? COACH Come on, Mikey. You're gayer than George Michael. And even look like him, too. * DING DING DING * BUFFER This contest is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by their mascot El Oveja...from sunny, funny Cabo San Lucas in Mexico, weighing in at 340 pounds: Mariachi and Moracca...they are the unparalelled LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-O-O-O-OH!! Los Diablos bump and grind on Michael Buffer. Mariachi jabs him in the BUTT with his pitch fork, then stares seductively into the camera while sucking on the middle prong of his prop! COACH It's Halloween and the Gay Pride parade everyday for these two. Oh, no. They're coming our way! Moracca and Mariachi go Ariel at Sofa Central, disgusting Coach but delighting Cole. Los Diablos plant a kiss on Cole's cheeks and dive back into the ring, waving at the voice of the OAOAST. COLE Whew! Was that fun or what? Man, what a rush! I felt so alive. COACH I bet you did. Rene Dupree ain't got nothing on you. Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime BUFFER Their opponents...from Beverly Hills, 90210, at a total combine weight of 460 pounds...MACKENZIE DECENZO presents SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLLLOOOONDSSSSSSSSS! Stage hands roll out the red carpet as Call Me plays in the background. The Beverly Hills Blonds enter the Toyota Center in HAZMAT SUITS. Mackenzie DeCenzo nowhere in sight. The Blonds maintain their distance from Los Diablos, steering clear of the ring. Ned magically produces a microphone. NED If I could have your attention, please, there's something I'd like to say on behalf of The Beverly Hills Blonds. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" SIMON Quiet on the set! NED You people love us and you know it, so shut up! Your reaction is making what we've got to say all the much easier. There won't be any match tonight. I've agonized over the decision for the last week, and with the blessing of Simon and Mackenzie, who's tending to more importance business in the back, I hereby announce our status as a conscientious objectors due to personal beliefs. That being the Beverly Hills Blonds are too rich and famous to be in the same ring as Los Diablos de Fuego, much less in the same vicinity. It has nothing to do with the fact Los Diablos de Fuego -- such an appropriate name, because they will be flaming in hell one day -- prefer the sausage and not the taco. I was prepared to go through with the bout until my 6-year-old daughter, a huge fan of Los Diablos and their goat mascot because of the tree-huggin' hippie views implanted in her by her mother Krista Isadora Duncan... "YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" NED ...screw the bitch. It's her fault you people won't see me in the ring because she decided to dropped our daughter off at my crib Friday morning so she could go to Havana for some kind of conference. Once my kid found out her daddy and Uncle Simon were gonna wrestler Cuckoo and Coco Puff and heard what we had in store for them and that damn goat, she cried her little eyes out, begging daddy not to kill the homies. Being the great father than I am I placed my child's interest over my career. COACH Ned Blanchard, Father of the Year! COLE I'll give them points for creativity, but everybody knows it's all a damn act. Not only is Ned homophobic, he couldn't care less about his beautiful daughter Maya. The only reason he's even maintained a relationship with her is because she's a child prodigy. He sees dollar signs not love. Notice how he never once referred to her by name. That's because he doesn't know her name! COACH Oh, come on, Mikey. You wouldn't want to get felt up by Los Diablos de Fuego, right? Wait a minute...heh...you would! COLE Who writes your damn material? Don't you and Ned realize the sport requires wrestlers to lockup, go-behind and pin your opponent? SIMON We're real sorry all our great fans won't be able to see the hottest tag team in the world today compete, but we did take that into account when making our decision. Ned and I know the people in attendence paid their hard earned money to be here tonight. Sure they earned most of it scrubbing toliets, mowing lawns, and working 9-5 unlike the Beverly Hills Blonds and Teddy Moneymaker, but you do deserve to get what you paid for. And you paid to see a match featuring Rosie O'Donnell's favorite tag team. She may think they're cutie patooties, but brother Ned, something tells me Moracca and Mariachi won't be so cute after tonight. Los Diablos are tried of the talking. They want to fight. Referee Charles Robinson having to restrain them. SIMON They're getting hissy! They're getting hissy! NED Ain't that the cutest thing? SIMON The cutest. SIMON & NED Suddenly, two men in full gold bodysuits and gloves wrapped in BARB WIRE storm the ring. * WHAM, WHAM * Los Diablos go down in a heap, bleeding profusely, masks torn from the barb wire attack by the great Latin American tag team...LOS CONQUISTADORS! COLE It was a damn set-up! The Blonds casually stroll backstage while Uno and Dos put the boots to Moracaa and Mariachi, grinding the barb wire into their open wounds! Los Diablos pink ponchos covered in crimson. Uno, or maybe Dos, strips Mariachi of his devil tail and uses it to WHIP HIM, paint-brushing the luchador. Though the damage has already been done, the arrival of OAOAST officals prevent Los Conquistadors from further injuring Los Diablos de Fuego. Adding insult to injury Los Conquistadors STEAL the beloved mascot of Los Diablos, El Oveja! COLE Hey, there's no need for that! Leave them alone, damnit! Los Conquistadors exit with El Oveja. Los Diablos de Fuego left laying in a pool of their own blood as we fade. Ten days! Order! COLE Back in Houston and we're about to be joined by... Where I come from isn't all that great My automobile is a piece of crap My fashion sense is a little whack And my friends are just as screwy as me COLE COACH...Check it out! Look who it is! COACH Hearing that song again only means one thing...and these people are taking it very well! As the lead singer of Weezer spouts the lyrics to "Beverly Hills", the catchy anthem provides entrance music for the two men headed down to the ring. One is extremely focused, determined almost to the point of anger, as he heads down the aisle. The other is a bit more animated, playing to the crowd and encouraging their cheers. COLE Malibu...he's got that look in his eye, and after what went down two weeks ago when Todd Cortez and Bloodshed tried to eliminate him before he could get to Bruce Blank, we can only wonder what he's got in store for them now! COACH Not to mention...it looks like Malibu and Leon Rodez have reunited. The Usual Suspects are BACK, baby! Malibu heads right for the ring, stepping in and waving for the microphone, while Leon hops up on the apron, and then on the turnbuckles to play to the fans before hopping into the ring, taking his place at the side of the OAOAST's favorite son. As the song fades, the crowd goes quiet, but only briefly, as a heavy chant picks up. US-UAL SUS-PECTS~! clap clap clapclapclap US-UAL SUS-PECTS~! clap clap clapclapclap US-UAL SUS-PECTS~! clap clap clapclapclap COLE Listen to this crowd! The former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions, standing united inside the ring once again! Leon looks around, a huge grin on his face. He taps Malibu on the back and nods to him, acknowledging that the fanbase is taking their reunion very well. Malibu hesitates before speaking, looking around into the sea of fans chanting for he and his ally. MALIBU You know, I think it's pretty obvious what's going on here tonight, so I'll make the announcement first, just in case anybody back there isn't paying attention, and then I'll get to the explanation. The Usual Suspects are BACK IN BUSINESS~! Despite already having picked up on it, the crowd erupts, as Leon pumps his fists. MALIBU Now, I'm sure a lot of you are wondering why. I'm sure people might be wondering why it took so long for me to look for backup in this war with The Wildcards. After time and time again, being left to die, bloodied, beaten and broken, why did I keep coming at them on my own? The truth is, and you all know this because I've said it before, is that The Wildcards are MY cross to bear...no one elses. I may have turned them loose on the OAOAST and their paths have crossed with our other stars, souring the attitudes of everyone in the company friend or foe...but at the end of the day, they're my responsibility. Scratch that, they're more than just responsibility now...they're my motivation, my reason for being here. They're the reason The Usual Suspects are standing before you once again as a cohesive unit. For MONTHS, I have sucked up the fact that I jaded the entire company that I helped build. I sat in dressing rooms alone, lingered backstage with not one person wanting to speak to me, all because The Wildcards were brought upon us by me. The night they turned on me inside the steel cage, nobody came to help me. The times I showed up to go after them, I had no help...I did that alone. However, when Bruce Blank went too far...when he went to my house and confronted Candie and...my... Zack starts breaking up, having to relive the intense moment that his girlfriend and baby daughter were approached in their own home by the sadistic Bruce Blank. MALIBU BLANK! Everyone knows what you did by now. You wanted my attention, YOU GOT IT! You've got it, that stunt EARNED it, and you will have it until you're dying day, because I will NEVER LET YOU LIVE IT DOWN! You've become the biggest star in the wrestling world this year, whether it be the OAOAST, the SWF, HI-YAH, or anywhere else...you are THE MAN this year! Everyone is talking about Bruce Blank, the man who became a star not just at my expense, but at the expense of my FAMILY? My DAUGHTER? That shows a heart blacker than any I've ever seen, and that's saying something in this business. You KNEW I'd come at you head on after that point, and you were right, you son of a bitch. There was no denying what I wanted to do to you, what I still long to do to you...until you sicced the dogs of war, your two sidekicks on me. Two weeks ago on this show I called your name, only to be answered by Todd Cortez...the same guy who told me I could TRUST you. The same guy who met me in Japan and said that if I needed backup, he knew who to call on. He's the same guy who ran me into a wall two weeks ago, kicked my teeth down my throat, and was holding me down, ready to be carved open like a Thansgiving turkey...until THIS MAN, right here, put his career aside, his goals on hold, to come and help me. This man, Leon Rodez, didn't have to come and help me. He didn't have to approach me after the fact last week, and say that maybe it was time the team got together again. He didn't have to offer his help, but he did, and do you know why, Blank? Do you know why he came to help me? Do you know why before Angleslam, this ring was filled with people I fought against and alongside? Do you know why Anglesault, the namesake of this company, showed his face on television and in this ring after wanting to get away from it all, just to save my career? It's because of RESPECT, Bruce Blank! You ask Leon Rodez, you ask Anglesault, you ask The Hooligans, all men I've been on both sides of the fence with, and they will all tell you that at the end of the day, whether you love or hate Zack Malibu, you RESPECT HIM. I DON'T RESPECT YOU! NO ONE DOES! IF YOU WANTED TO MAKE A NAME FOR YOURSELF, THEN MAKE ME BLEED! PIN ME IN THIS RING! BASH MY HEAD IN WITH THAT DAMN BAT OF YOURS...BUT DO NOT, DO NOT GO AFTER MY FAMILY! DO NOT INTIMIDATE A 105 POUND WOMAN AND A NEWBORN BABY GIRL, BECAUSE YOU WILL LIVE TO REGRET THAT CHOICE! You're the biggest star in wrestling right now, and you have NO ONE'S RESPECT! Malibu takes a breath, getting too emotional for his own good. Leon offers to take the mic, but Malibu asks him to hold up a minute, and during the brief break, that's when the three most hated men in the company decide to stroll out. BLANK Well looky here, ain't this precious. Don't go gettin' all worked up on my account now, Zacky boy! The crowd boos as loud as possible as Bruce Blank, Bloodshed, and Todd Cortez, The Wildcards, stand at the entranceway. Malibu immediately darts towards the ropes to go after them, but Leon snags his partner at the last possible second and drags him away, telling him to hold off and to not be lured into another fight just yet. BLANK Seems to me your partner is smarter than you are, Zack! You're little marriage there might work out for the best, if he can keep you outta trouble! MALIBU You want to say something to me? Get down here and say it to my face, you redneck piece of... BLANK Hey now Zacky, don't go draggin' my name through the mud after all those compliments! I mean, god damn, I'm flattered. The biggest star in wrestling this year, coming from the mouth of the man whose life I've personally made a living hell? A man who can't get the job done in the ring, who has to have someone flickin' light switches on and off so he can jump me from behind? A man who lost the respect...there's that word you love there, of his peers and had to endure beatin' after beatin' from me and my boys? Don't think a little suckin' up is gonna let you off easy, Zack. The problem with you is that you're too proud. You're gonna keep comin' at me because YOU HAVE SOMETHIN' TO GAIN! What do I have to gain by beatin' your ass again? I pinned you at Angleslam. I broke you mentally, and physically...so you tell me, Mr. Franchise, just what is in it for me if I get into the ring with you again? Malibu, ready to react and not speak, is pushed back again by Rodez, who steals the mic from his own partner. RODEZ Let me do some of the talking now, Blank. See, the book is still wide open on you and Zack, but we're gonna jump ahead a chapter or two now. Everything Zack said is true...the locker room thought that Zack finally bit off more than he could chew, and that he should have to clean up his mess. God knows he tried. But there comes a time where you have to call a spade a spade. Where a man must admit he's wrong...and I'm not talking about Zack, because he's done that. I'm talking about me, personally. You see me out here and it's Leon the crowd pleaser, but that doesn't mean that I can't take a serious tone when the time comes. Having to sit back and watch what you did to this man, to his family...was one of the toughest things I had to do. It made me, and the rest of the OAOAST realize that no matter what Zack did, nothing could compare to the lines you crossed that night. But we let him have at it, figuring that Angleslam would have been the end of you...and it wasn't. Because you HAVE broken this man mentally. You HAVE made this man hurt, and bleed, and as a friend, I'm not going to sit by and let it happen! I'm not going to sit by anymore and watch you three slice him open and drag him across this canvas! I'm not going to let his heart get away from his head, and bite off more than he can chew again. It all boils down to that word again, Blank. RESPECT. I RESPECT Zack Malibu. I do NOT respect any of you! The crowd roars, but The Wildcards brush off the insult, having heard it all before from other OAOAST stars. BLANK Blah blah, you ain't tellin' me nothin' I ain't heard before, boy. But just because you've got a hair across your ass about how we conduct business, don't mean nothin'. You're just like the rest of 'em. You think because you and Zack got a history, slap the ol' team name on yourselves again, that it's a different story? Don't kid yourselves. MALIBU Don't kid YOURSELF, Blank. Remember me? The same guy who doesn't stop coming? The same guy who stood in this very ring with a GUN IN YOUR FACE!? COLE Oh God, he's not supposed to say that! COACH I thought we were past that! Blank's demeanor drops, but not Malibu's. He's furious. MALIBU Yeah, remember that? Remember how I've tried to tear your eyes out? How I've cut you open with your own weapons? All because every time I hear my daughter cry, I see YOUR FACE IN MY HEAD! How every time I go to hold my girlfriend, she wants me to hold her just a little bit tighter because you've KILLED their sense of privacy! My family doesn't feel safe in my own home BECAUSE OF YOU, so why should you feel safe ANYWHERE? This goes beyond The Wildcards and me, Blank. At the end of the day, it's about you and I, but your boys can't seem to go their own way on this one. So now I've got the backup, and the ball is in your court. You might have nothing to gain by getting into the ring with me again, but you've got nothing to lose either. You can either meet us head on at World Without End, picking one of your boys to come with you, or you can keep looking over your shoulder for me. You can end it face to face, Blank, so what's keeping you? You want to kill me off? COME AND GET ME! DO IT! KILL ME OFF, BRUCE! DO WHAT YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA DO! C'MON BRUCE, YOUR THE BIGGEST STAR IN WRESTLING! DON'T DENY THE FACT THAT YOU HATE THAT I'M STILL STANDING! Blank is scowling, trying to fight the urge to reply to Malibu, but Zack keeps egging him on, until finally... BLANK YOU WANT ME AGAIN, PRETTY BOY!? YOU WANT TO FEEL PAIN WORSE THAT WHAT'S IN YOUR HEAD, OR WHAT WE'VE DONE TO YOU PHYSICALLY? You and your friend there, think runnin' your mouths off is gonna intimidate us? When have we ever been about the talkin'? We're about ACTION, Zack. Like busting a man open, like slicing his forehead open, like going after those he loves because HE CAN'T PROTECT THEM! You want me that bad, Zack? You think Leon Rodez is gonna protect you? You think a Usual Suspects reunion is going to delay your demise? I DO NOT THINK SO! Because it ends, appropriately, at World Without End. Your world is going to come crashing down around you...THE BOTH OF YOU, because at that event, Zack Malibu and Bruce Blank will be standing across the ring from each other. No need to have rules and regulations, because you know they ain't about to be followed. See, I'm seeing it very clearly now. One of the OAOAST's greatest tag teams against a team that has not only wreaked havoc upon the OAOAST, but has set a precident across the wrestling world...one of pure violence and mayhem. BRUCE BLANK AND BLOODSHED, THE DEAD PRECIDENTS! THE SAME TEAM THAT TORE THE SWF APART! TWO MEN WHO HAVE MADE IT HARD FOR YOU TO SLEEP AT NIGHT! A BONAFIDE DREAM MATCH, ZACHARY, TO BID YOU FAREWELL, BECAUSE I WILL RIP YOUR HEART OUT AND SEND IT TO YOUR DAUGHTER IN A SHOEBOX! YOU HEAR ME, BOY! YOU BROUGHT IT ON YOURSELF...YOU AND RODEZ! IT'S ENDING, ZACK! THE PAIN WILL ALL BE OVER SOON, BUT GETTING TO THE END IS GONNA BE THE TOUGHEST TEST YET! I'M GONNA BLEED YOU DRY! Blank is spitting all over the place, his threats heard loud and clear through his thick Southern drawl. Malibu, fuming, paces himself, choosing for once to not let the rage inside him get the best of him...although Leon keeping Zack at bay from The Wildcards' taunts do help matters. Blank, Bloodshed and Cortez, the latter two who remained silent while the venom was spewing out of Blank's mouth, all disappear behind the curtain, offering one final stare back at the reunited duo set to avenge Malibu's family. COLE What a blockbuster that was! We'd seen Leon Rodez start to welcome Zack back into the fold after months of letting Malibu go it alone, but tonight it was made official...The Usual Suspects are BACK! COACH Not only that, but they threw down the gauntlet within seconds, luring Blank and Bloodshed, who were once known as the Dead Precidents "elsewhere", into a match at World Without End! COLE You heard Blank as well, saying that it's pointless to make it a straight up match, because not one of those men is going to adhere to any rules or regulations set forth. That's going to be a bloodbath! COACH No doubt, playa. COLE True dat. COACH Huh? COLE Sorry, did I step on your toes with that one? COACH Man...just cut to break, will ya? Tryin' to steal my schtick...you crazy? COLE Yes I be. For shizzle. Commercial break

I have no idea if NYU/Ed have anything coming, so I'll hold off until TUF is over.

Boom goes 51......(off Johan Santana, no less) Boom goes 52......

COLE Under two weeks away from World Without End, the OAOAST comes to you from Houston, Texas for HeldDOWN~! Hello everyone, I'm Michael Cole along with The Coach and we have another great show in store for you tonight. It's Beat the Cock night.... ..... gee, I wonder who messed with my script? COACH *Giggle* COLE Oh grow up. It's Beat the Clock night as three of the competitors in the Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell match that will take place at WWE will compete to set the top time and earn the right to enter the match last. Also, we may get some answers after the events of last week, namely what stipulation has Tha Puerto Rican chosen for his World Title match against Drek Stone and will Longdogger Pete accept the challenge of Peter Knight, who is putting his career on the line for a shot at the former SWF star? COACH Well, I'm sure that at least one of those will be answered. COLE Folks, it's time for our first Beat the Clock match for the Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell. The rules are very simple: Each competitor has a match, and whoever wins his match in the fastest time will be the last entry into the match at World Without End! There is a 15-minute time limit for each match. If you are disqualified or counted out, your time will be erased and will not count, and if your opponent pins you or makes you submit, he will replace that person at the PPV! Let's go up to Michael Buffer! Renagade hits and Reject makes his way to the ring, to loud boos. BUFFER The following is a Beat-the-Clock matchup, scheduled for one fall, with a 15-minute time limit! Making his way to the ring, from the Bronx, weighing in at 235 pounds...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! COLE So Reject will be the first to set the bar for the other five participants, there will be two more matches tonight, and the three who aren't chosen tonight will try to set their mark next week! COACH And no one even knows who their opponents will be, Cole! COLE Well, we're about to find out who Reject's opponent is right now! Reject stretches on the ropes, then stands at the back of the ring with his hands on his knees. I'm a Hustla by Cassidy hits, and the crowd goes CRAZY. COLE Oh, my! Jamie O'Hara walks through the curtains and towards the ring. COLE Here come the Birmingham Bad Boy! BUFFER His opponent, from Birmingham, England, weighing in at 170 pounds...JAMIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'HHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! O'Hara slides into the ring, and he and Reject begin to trade blows! *DING DING DING* O'Hara and Reject slug it out, until O'Hara ducks a swing, and lifts Reject for an atomic drop, dropping him down onto his knee! Reject walks into the corner holding his backside, and O'Hara follows him into the corner, delivering kicks to the body. He whips Reject across the ring, and delivers a backdrop! O'Hara follows with a clothesline! And a second! Reject rolls out to the apron, and O'Hara knocks him to the floor with a SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK! COLE Jamie O'Hara on fire here in the early going! COACH Reject better get it together, or he's going to find himself out of the match at World Without End! O'Hara poses in the corner, drawing a loud ovation, as Reject tries to gain his senses. O'Hara follows him to the outside and rams his head into the apron, and then into the steel steps! COLE O'Hara really taking the fight to Reject right now! O'Hara rolls Reject back inside, and waits for him to get to his feet. When he does, he delivers a side kick to the midsection. Then another to the other side, then a kick to the gut, followed by a DDT! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! O'Hara gets to his feet and hits Reject with a dropkick, sending him all the way out to the floor! COLE It's all Jamie O'Hara thus far in this Beat-the-Clock match, for the second Heartland Elimination Chamber of Hell match, at World Without End! Reject leans on the guardrail in attempt to catch his breath, then turns around. O'Hara runs to the ropes, and attempts a HANDS-FREE PLANCHA, but Reject ducks out of the way, and O'Hara lands with a SPLAT on the floor! COLE Nobody home on that one, and this is the break that Reject needs! Reject uses the apron to pull himself up, then rolls back in and back out. He picks up O'Hara and whips him into the steel steps, as O'Hara flips over them on impact! COACH WOW, O'Hara full-force into those steps! Reject slowly follows O'Hara, and picks him up, ramming his head into the steel steps! Reject then tosses O'Hara inside, and rolls in after him, posing for the crowd to boos. He then picks up O'Hara, whipping him into the ropes, and catching him with a spinning heel kick! COLE And a great kick that time by Reject, as the tide has definitely turned in this match! Reject stops to pose once again, drawing more boos. COACH I'm not sure that Reject can really afford to be grandstanding like this, he's on the clock here! Reject drops a fist right between the eyes of O'Hara! COLE Wow, right on target! He then drops a second, as the referee warns him about closed fists. Reject gets in the referee's face briefly, before picking up O'Hara and delivering a snap suplex! He rolls over for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject picks up O'Hara and backs him into a corner, delivering a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject then fires off right hands, before executing a gutwrench suplex! He follows with a snap legdrop! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject complains to the referee briefly, then picks up O'Hara. He whips O'Hara into the corner, and charges, but O'Hara gets the feet up! O'Hara then comes out and delivers a spinning wheel kick! COLE But O'Hara still with fight left! The referee makes a count as both men are out on the mat... ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!! FOUR!!! FIVE!!! SIX!!! SEVEN!!! EIGHT!!! O'Hara rises up, and slowly gets to his feet. Reject follows, and goes for a right hand...but O'Hara blocks, and delivers one of his own! Reject tries another right hand, another block! A third, same result! O'Hara fires off, then whips Reject into the ropes, and hits a flying back elbow! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! O'Hara picks up Reject, and delivers a bodyslam, then slides to the outside, and delivers a SPRINGBOARD SOMERSAULT SEATED SENTON! COLE One of his patented moves! 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COLE But Reject JUST sneaks out of there! Reject goes to the eyes of O'Hara as he tries to pick him up, then whips O'Hara across into a corner. Reject charges, but is caught with a drop toe-hold, landing on the bottom turnbuckle! COLE Uh-oh, could be time for the Facelift! The crowd noise escalates, as O'Hara backs up, then charges and delivers a seated dropkick, driving Reject's face into the buckle! COACH Oh, no! COLE There it is! 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! COACH But Reject still hanging in there! You gotta love it! O'Hara backs Reject into a corner, then climbs to the second buckle, and the crowd counts along with the punches... 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! Reject comes out of the corner, and O'Hara goes in behind him and hops to the second rope. Reject turns around, and is caught with a BLOCKBUSTER~!!! COLE Oh, SNAP~! 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up again! O'Hara picks up Reject from behind, but as he does, Reject kicks him low...kicking the referee as well, who was standing behind O'Hara! COACH Double-header! Reject gains his senses, then sets up O'Hara for the PITCH BLACK~!!!111, but O'Hara struggles, and Reject can't hook the legs over the arms. Finally, he just goes for a powerbomb, but O'Hara delivers right hands, and is able to counter into a hurricanrana! O'Hara covers, but there's no referee! COLE Tough break here for Jamie O'Hara! So he picks Reject up and whips him into the ropes. Reject ducks a clothesline, then ducks a leapfrog, then drills O'Hara with a spinning wheel kick! COLE Nice kick by Reject, but there's no count here, either! Reject gets up and attempts to revive the referee, to no avail. So he makes his way over to the corner, and starts untying the buckle. COLE Uh-oh, and now Reject resorting to desperate methods... COACH Well, can you blame him? The referee being out is costing him valuable time in this match! He's trying to get that last entry position! Reject picks up O'Hara, then delivers a PILEDRIVER~! COLE And a beautiful piledriver by Reject! Reject covers, as the referee is just coming to... 1... 2... NO!!! O'Hara gets a shoulder up! COLE It's not over yet! Reject picks up O'Hara, as the referee is still coming to, and moves towards the buckle. However, when he gets there, O'Hara blocks, and RAMS REJECT INTO THE EXPOSED BUCKLE~! COACH Oh, no! Reject and O'Hara are both out of it, but O'Hara inches over and hooks the leg as the referee comes to... 1... 2... ... NO!!! Reject gets a shoulder up! COLE These guys both want it as bad as ever! O'Hara slowly gets to his feet and climbs to the top rope. Reject slowly crawls over to the ropes, just as O'Hara gets his balance, and yanks on the top strand, causing O'Hara to slip and crotch himself! He sits for a few seconds, as Reject gets to his feet, then falls forward, flipping down and landing on his feet, then staggers out...right into the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COLE And the EULOGY from Reject! COACH Wrap it up! Reject hooks the leg and lays back... 1... 2... 3!!! COACH YES!!! *DING DING DING* (12:11) BUFFER The winner of the match, in a time of 12 minutes, 11 seconds...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! COLE A hard-fought battle by the six-man tag champion, one-third of the Hooligans, Jamie O'Hara, but there's your time to beat, 12 minutes and 11 seconds, set by Reject! Two more men try to beat that time tonight, and next week, we'll round out the field! Back with more in a moment. Commercial break

I got offered Keyshawn Johnson and Edge for Frank Gore and Marques Colston. I rejected it, but now I'm having second thoughts. My league only starts one RB with a WR/RB flex spot and my other RBs are Stephen Jackson and Willie Parker. Carolina's offensive struggles kind of shyed me away from the deal along with the fact that when Smith comes back, Keyshawn won't get as many looks. What say you all? EDIT: Spiff, start Taylor. Indy's D averaged nearly 150 rushing yards against over the first two games and Jacksonville will want to grind it out to keep Manning off the field.

Bob complained about one of your decisions, Andy. You have arrived as a mod. IK was suspended, IIRC.

Carolina Chicago Cincinnati Green Bay Jacksonville Buffalo Miami Washington Baltimore N.Y. Giants Philadelphia Arizona New England New Orleans Should I take over: Ravens - 28

It definitely reminded me of Invasion's premiere last season (intriguing story, so-so characters). This one definitely had more questions other than the big one (What's the mushroom cloud all about?) that I'd like to find out the answer to like why is the son back in town, who killed the sheriff and how long will the town survive without plunging into anarchy?

He beat you by a minute.

NFL Replay games for this week: Tuesday: Giants at Eagles (8PM), Patriots at Jets (10:30PM) Wednesday: Saints at Packers (8PM), Panthers at Vikings (10:30PM) Two OT games and two games with big comebacks. Sounds good. I think I would have chosen Rams/49ers over the Saints though.

I just saw this in the paper a while ago. I can't remember the year but I believe it was Terry Francona's last year in Philly (he was told that they were letting him go at the end of the season, but he stayed on through all 162 games).

Not really. Impact has had Ultimate Fighter as a lead in for a year or so and can barely hold half of the audience.

I was leery going into this season after how last season ended, but they certainly got off to a good start. Barney mimicking different ways of killing himself and the whole "b-pegs" conversation was great.

How many more Bledsoe INTs can Parcells take before the Tony Romo Experience begins? Betting windows are now open.

I saw that pickoff. If Giambi would have just tagged him when he was just standing there instead of staring into space, he would have been out.

Starting the clock after a change of possession has to be one of the most useless rule changes I've seen in a while.

Rob and Kimberly are going to be the Adam and Rebecca of this season. I can feel it. I wonder when they are going to do an All-Star edition? They certainly have plenty of good teams to choose from.

With Wily Mo at cleanup for the rest of the season, Ortiz will get the Bonds treatment everytime he comes up late in the game with runners on. Just in time for my fantasy semifinal and possible finals too. Joy.

Well, the TV ads DID say that having veterans would lead to the best fights. There's just NO excitement this season. Having it follow the Ortiz-Shamrock season doesn't help.

BC's doing everything they can to give this game away.

Someone needs to be caught up on things. Dames sold the board so he can retire and focus on his real passion: stalking Jennifer Love Hewitt wherever she goes. Restraining orders and multiple macings be dammed.