Rob E Dangerously

these guys know that Rob Conway's not really from Quebec, right?

this is Quebec, not Canada

Hahaha.. let's put these guys in Montreal.. that'll get them booed!

Chris Be-no-it!

to get us reading World Net Daily?

this doesn't beat my Nash/Layfield feud.

"Don't be such a baby"

Here's the card, for inspiration: http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/index.php?showtopic=55762 The title match is Kevin Nash vereus John Bradshaw Layfield. And, if you can include Triple H in the graphic, like as the prominent point, do so. It's for the big feud in the fed.

Where the hell did I suggest Nash/Layfield would be a wrestling match?

Patience..

"Come on, y'all are too hard on Mike"

Read the results and essays here: http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/index.php?showtopic=55762 and vote here. And leave comments on the thread I linked to

well.. this beats the John Bradshaw Layfield v. Kevin Nash main event for WWW.

BX, don't make me have to start a BX v. TheMikeSC feud in WWW. (BTW, read the card).. trust me, WWW Chairman Vince Russo would match up two guys that nobody's heard of to settle their internet feud.

Did you learn anything about booking from me?

LAST TIME ON WORLD'S WORST WRESTLING: A new champion was crowned! [We see Kevin Nash partying in a strip club as girls give him lapdances] And some other champions were crowned! [The Illegal Immigrants are shown with the belts] And stars were born! [We see the Zombies in action] And we have Triple H! [stillshot of Triple H] Tonight, expect more of the same! We fade to Vince Russo's office, where we see his ominous outline "You no.. last show.. some of this stuff ain't flying.." "Derefor.. I gotta award some and puniss odas" "Tonight, Algernon and David Flair Classic, you will be punished for your sins!" "You will face the Zombies, in a Dungeon of Doom match!" "Which Zombies will it be? I don't know, they're fricking Zombies. But, Zombie Shawn Stasiak, your gimmick is different now, you will be Meat 2000, the sex slave of the Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young" "Tonight, Kevin Nash will team with Scott Hall to face Triple H and a partner of his choice in a 'tap the keg or lose a leg' strap match, where the winners will get to drink all night, and the losers will have their legs broken" "And tonight, I am inviting WWW superstars to recite an essay of 100 words or less, live tonight, telling me why they should get a shot at WWW Champion Kevin Nash. Enjoy the Sports Entertainment" -- Jerry Flynn recieves confirmation that he was hired due to a typo. Essay #1 - from Jerry Flynn "I should receive a title shot due to my awesome mullet and my karate skills. I'm due to freak out and kill somebody at any time. Therefore, I might freak out and kill Kevin Nash. Oh, crap. That's not good, is it? Um, please?" Essay #2 - from Meat 2000 "I have tape recordings of Kevin Nash in comprimising positions, give me the title shot and I will destroy the recordings. That is all." Meat 2000 pinned Jerry Flynn after a powerslam in 0:04:44. Rating: 3/4* Essay #3 - from Jerry Lynn - Sex Addict "I want a title shot because I am the best wrestler" *BZZZZTTT* "Because of my victories" *BZZZT* "Because I have a libido the size of Texas. I just want to hump on somebody's bones. G's up. Hoes Down" Essay #4 - from Animal "I want a title shot because I would pound the crap out of Kevin Nash, and then I would finally become relevant. Tell em Hawk. Oh.. yeah..." Jerry Lynn, Sex Addict pinned Animal with the Piledriver in 0:03:08. Rating: ** Essay #5 - from Johnny Grunge "La dee la dee la dee who likes to party? La dee la dee la dee who likes to party? La dee la dee la dee who likes to party? You gotta get up to get down! Everybody! Everybody! Give me a title shot!" Essay #6 - from JBL "I SHOULD GET A TITLE SHOT BECAUSE OF ALL THESE FUCKING ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS! THEY'RE COMING TO THIS COUNTRY AND THEY THINK THEY CAN TAKE OUR JOBS! LET ME TELL YOU THIS! KEVIN NASH AIDED IN THE TRANSIT OF AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT AND I AM PISSED OFF OVER IT! LET ME TELL YOU THIS! KEVIN NASH, I WILL PUT MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS! I WILL SODOMIZE YOU! I WILL MAKE YOU MY BITCH! KEVIN NASH! LET ME DEMONSTRATE MY WORTHINESS!" [We cut to a video of Bradshaw at the Canadian border confronting some Canadians] "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY COUNTRY YOU HOSERS!" [Cut back to Bradshaw] "Therefore, that is why I should face Kevin Nash" Meanwhile, Kane has an offer for Lita, Lita will give him oral sex, Kane will give her 100 dollars, but before Lita can accept the offer, Chyna comes out to bash Kane for his actions. Vince Russo shows up and begins offering Lita and Chyna money if they would french kiss. John Bradshaw Layfield pinned Johnny Grunge with the Clothesline From New York in 0:06:32. Rating: -3/4* We find that the new fourth zombie is Bob Backlund Essay #7 - from Zombie Maven "BRAAAAAAAIIIIINSSSSSS! BBBBBRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAIIIIIINSSSSSSS" Essay #8 - from Zombie Bob Backlund "There.. is.. no.. way out of the Crossface Chickenwing! I will procure it.. on Kevin Nash.. and establish my revenge on him!" Essay #9 - from Algernon "It is my estimate that as the World's Smartest Man, I will defeate Kevin Nash using my brains to----" Then we cut away to see that Triple H has arrived. WHO WILL HIS PARTNER BE? Essay #10 - from David Flair Classic "Let me tell you this, WHOOOOOOOOO!!! Kevin Nash, you ain't got nothing chump! Space Mountain still has the longest line!" The Four Horsemen (Algernon and David Flair Classic) defeated Zombie Bob Backlund and Zombie Maven when Algernon made Backlund submit to the Texas Cloverleaf in 0:03:41. Rating: * 1/4 We see Raven in the front row. We don't know if he has a ticket, or if he works for the company. Essay #11 - from Shaggy 2 Dope "YO MOTHERFUCKER! YOU GOTTA GIVE ME THE TITLE SHOT! I'M A FUCKING INSANE CLOWN YO! THE JUGGALO ARMY WILL PROPELL ME OVER KEVIN NASH!" Essay #12 - from David Flair "Um, I would really like to face Kevin Nash because I think I cou-- AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I'M BEING PUMMELLED!" At this moment, Doink is attacking David Flair with a steel chair Essay #13 - from Doink "I will come to kill you all in your sleep because of what you did to me. Kevin Nash, all these people laughed at me. BUT WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?" "Um, I am" "AAAAHHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA" Doink The Clown pinned Shaggy 2 Dope with the Whoopie Cushion in 0:04:23. Rating: DUD (David Flair no-showed.) After the match, Doink beats Shaggy 2 Dope senseless. Essay #14 - from Bodydonna Skip "Seriously, give me the title shot, I don't care that more people like Tammy. Give me a title shot and she will get naked. What, you've seen those pictures? Damnit, well, get your asses in shape, because I'm going to kick them!" Essay #15 - from Mo, on behalf of Viscera "Kevin Nash, King Mabel will kick your ass because he's done it before. Right? Well, anyways, Kevin Nash, trust me, this isn't 1995. Viscera's going to sit on your face" Viscera pinned Bodydonna Skip with the Big Splash in 0:05:24. Rating: -* 1/4 Essay #16 - from Kane "Kevin Nash, I know you like a book, and I have the ability to shoot lightning. Therefore, I want a title shot and I'm willing to get it in a battle royal" Essay #17 - from Chyna "Kevin Nash, trust me, I am able to take on m--" Triple H walks past the scene and stares at Chyna "Take me back Hunter! Take me back!" Kane pinned Chyna after a low blow in 0:01:09. Rating: -1/2* What does this mean for Chyna's gender? stay tuned! Sexual Harris-ment defeated La French Guys when D. Harris pinned S. Grenier with the Big Boot in 0:02:18. Rating: -1/2* Essay #18 - from La French Poodle "Well.." "Poodles don't talk.. not in noo yawk" Essay #19 - from Cochese "Kevin Nash, I will avenge my loss to you! I deserve another shot at the WWW title for that reason!" La French Poodle pinned Cochese with the Cruel Intentions in 0:04:25. Rating: * 1/4 Meanwhile in the back, Vince Russo finds out that the Midnight Express is not a tag team that is recently out of a Turkish prison. Russo grumbles. The Illegal Immigrants and The Midnight Express battled to a double countout in 0:02:35. Rating: 1/4* (The Illegal Immigrants retained the WWW Tag Team titles.) After the match, JBL and Sexual Harrisment attack the Illegal Immigrants. They declare themselves to be "The INS" Essay #20 - from the Rookie "Let me tell you this Kevin Nash, I might sorta be Buff Bagwell, but I know that I will be buff enough to kick your face in. Trust me. I'm Buff and I'm the St--" *BZZZZT* "I got a short fuse man!" Essay #21 - from Todd "Dude, if you don't give me a title shot, I will be totally forced to whoop your ass, okay? Kevin Nash, you know that it's time for me to the be the champion" Essay #22 - from Rudy "Mr. Russo, I know that I might be too small to be the WWW champion, but I make up for it with my hard work and my determination to never give up. So, just give me a chance. I won't let you down." Todd pinned The Rookie after a fallaway slam in 0:07:00. Rating: 1/4* Vince Russo comes out to announce the winner of the contest.. and the winner is.. JOHN BRADSHAW LAYFIELD Meanwhile, Rob Van Dam volunteers to be Triple H's partner. Triple H doesn't notice him. [Tap the Keg or Lose a Leg]: Strap Match: The Outsiders defeated Triple H and Rob Van Dam when Hall pinned RVD with the Outsider Edge in 0:04:40. Rating: * Kevin Nash and Triple H brawled into the crowd during the match, leaving Hall and RVD to finish it. But, before the stipulation could be acted out on Rob Van Dam. Jake Roberts hobbles out and breaks a liquor bottle over Scott Hall's head, distracting people from the stipulation. We fade to black as we see Triple H and Kevin Nash fighting in the back. NEXT SHOW: Kevin Nash defends the WWW title against John Bradshaw Layfield

sprinkle rocks in their yard. That should make it more fun to mow. as for Waldo, pie tins full of feces. That'll make the animals happy!

C'mon tsunami!

They haven't killed the new leader of Hamas, yet.

We fade in on an executive meeting. A shadowy figure sits in front of many wrestlers. "Laydeez and gentilmen.. I am Vince Roosoo.. and I will make you superstars" Dean Malenko speaks up "Um, in some countries, I am a superstar" "Deeno.. you got to realize that the kids today.. they want violence.. they want porn.. they want ENTERTAINMENT" Russo laughs "Now, I will assign you your gimmicks. Live them" Russo holds up a piece of paper "Malenko, you see how the WWE, the company I saved, has a wrestler who's supposed to be raytardead.. well.. you will be a wrestler who is really smart, but used to be raytarded.. you will be called Algernon" "Um.." "IT'S GOLD BABY! Okay.. Sah-boo.. you got a new gimmick too.. You'll be 'The Beheader'.. you see.. you're an a-rab.. and you can tell the fans that you'll behead them" "Um, i'm Indian" "Sah-boo.. you don't talk, remember? It'll be gold!" "Rick Flare! You got a new name... you'll be 'David Flair Classic'!" "Ahmed Johnson, you're Bunny! Buff Bagwell, you're 'The Rookie'!, Matt Morgan, you're 'The Robot'!, Grenier, Christopher, you'll be 'La French Guys', people hate the French!" Russo laughs "Fans, we also have a stable of Zombie Wrestlers ready to enslave all of humanity! We got some titles to decide!" The Zombies are on the prowl... [WWW-TT Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match: Sexual Harris-ment defeated The Zombies (Zombie Iron Sheik and Zombie Maven) when R. Harris pinned Maven after the Bad Touch in 0:16:39. Rating: -*** [WWW-TT Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match: Bunny and The Rookie defeated La French Guys when Bunny pinned S. Grenier with the Pearl River Plunge in 0:10:31. Rating: * La French Poodle (Sean O'Haire in a poodle costume) attempts to attack Bunny, but Cochese (Jamie Dundee) runs out of the crowd for the save [WWW-TT Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match: The Zombies (Zombie Shawn Stasiak and Zombie Prince Iaukea) defeated The Insane Clown Posse when Stasiak pinned Shaggy with the Meat Grinder in 0:22:32. Rating: 3/4* The Zombies attempt to recruit the Insane Clown Posse, but obviously the ICP doesn't have enough brains to satisfy them Meanwhile, John Bradshaw Layfield tries to report the Illegal Immigrants. [WWW-TT Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match: The Illegal Immigrants defeated Animal and Johnny Grunge when Dandy pinned Grunge with the Dandina Cradle in 0:02:19. Rating: 1/2* Algernon proves himself to be too smart for the backstage interviewer. [WWW-HW Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match: Algernon pinned David Flair Classic after a dropkick in 0:07:49. Rating: ** 3/4 The Beheader practices his skills by placing a melon on a table, but the melon proves elusive for him and he breaks the table with his sword. [WWW-HW Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match: Cochese pinned The Beheader with the Flying Lariat in 0:07:48. Rating: ** 1/4 Backstage, we see JBL talking to the INS. [WWW-HW Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match: Viscera pinned The Robot with the Big Splash in 0:11:02. Rating: -*** 3/4 Kane has a special question for Lita. Lita isn't here. So yeah. Kevin Nash drinks coffee and flips his hair. [WWW-HW Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match: Kevin Nash pinned Kane with the Jackknife Power Bomb in 0:00:59. Rating: -3/4* MAKING HIS RETURN: The Abortionist [WWW-TT Semi-Finals]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match: Sexual Harris-ment defeated Bunny and The Rookie when R. Harris pinned Rookie after the Bad Touch in 0:11:37. Rating: -* 1/4 After the match, Todd (Chuck Palumbo) attacks the Rookie, prompting Cochese and Bunny to come to the rescue, before Disorderly Conduct runs out to back Todd up. [WWW-TT Semi-Finals]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match: The Illegal Immigrants defeated The Zombies (Zombie Shawn Stasiak and Zombie Prince Iaukea) when S. King pinned Iaukea after the Mexicant in 0:17:00. Rating: * 3/4 Meanwhile, in the back, the INS is unable to catch the Illegal Immigrants [WWW-HW Semi-Finals]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match: Cochese pinned Algernon after a flying legdrop in 0:01:49. Rating: * 3/4 COMING SOON: The Polygamist [WWW-HW Semi-Finals]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match: Kevin Nash pinned Viscera after a big boot in 0:10:29. Rating: -*** 1/2 [WWW-TT Finals]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match for the vacant WWW Tag Team titles: The Illegal Immigrants defeated Sexual Harris-ment when S. King pinned R. Harris after a moonsault in 0:18:03. Rating: -* 1/4 (The Illegal Immigrants won the WWW Tag Team titles.) John Bradshaw Layfield runs out and lays out the Illegal Immigrants with chairshots. He drags them off into the sunset. [WWW-HW Finals]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match for the vacant WWW Heavyweight title: Kevin Nash pinned Cochese with the Jackknife Power Bomb in 0:09:52. Rating: -1/2* (Kevin Nash won the WWW Heavyweight title.) The lights dim after the match and Triple H comes out with the Big Gold Belt. A staredown ensues.

From Show #1: Handicap-Ladder Match: Kevin Nash defeated Low Ki, Jerry Lynn and A.J. Styles in 0:36:33. Rating: ** Kevin Nash is on his way up. Kevin Nash is half-way up. Kevin Nash is almost on top of the ladder. Kevin Nash is in grabbing distance. Kevin Nash has retrieved the lifetime contract with the WWE. Security guards are restraining some fans from hitting the ring. The winner is Kevin Nash. Time of match: 0:36:25 Meanwhile in the back, David Arquette is hit by a White Hummer From Show #2: Vince Russo comes out to criticize Flair, Steamboat, HHH and Michaels for their matches on the last show, chiding their matches as 'boring'. Russo has a solution, he will have four special matches for these four men. The matches will be as follows: HHH v. Duke the Dumpster in a Dumpster match HBK v. Marty Jannetty in a 'blindfold' match Ric Flair v. Giant Gonzalez in a ladder match Rick Steamboat v. Zeus Banana on a Pole Match: Shane McMahon and Stacy Keibler defeated The Mean Street Posse when S. Keibler pinned Rodney with the Spin Wheel Kick in 0:11:33. Rating: -** 1/2 Ladder Match: El Gigante defeated Ric Flair in 0:11:39. Rating: DUD Ric Flair is inching his way towards the ropes. Ric Flair escapes from the hold after being trapped for 12 seconds. El Gigante tries to climb the ladder. El Gigante is on his way up. El Gigante is half-way up. El Gigante is almost on top of the ladder. El Gigante is in grabbing distance. El Gigante has retrieved the keys to Ric Flair's car. The crowd is giving El Gigante a standing ovation. The winner is El Gigante. Time of match: 0:11:36 Show #3: 25,000 Volt Exploding Wooden Board Falls-Count-Anywhere Match: Dave Sullivan made Ahmed Johnson submit to the Inverted Bearhug in 0:06:12. Rating: -* 3/4 After the match, Bradshaw ran down to the ring and hit Dave Sullivan with a Clothesline from hell, before putting him in an Inverted Bearhug while asking Sullivan who his daddy was. [Marriage Consumation Match, winners get to.. uh.. you know]: The Hardy Boyz defeated Lodi and Lenny Lane when M. Hardy pinned Lane after a DDT in 0:06:27. Rating: DUD After the match, Randy Savage showed up for no reason, giving Jeff Hardy an elbowdrop, which punctured both his lungs. Matt Hardy decided to just randomly try to turn heel again. ... Car Match: Kevin Nash defeated El Gigante in 0:36:07. Rating: -***** Kevin Nash charges in with a clothesline. Kevin Nash tries to put El Gigante in Ric Flair's car. Kevin Nash stuffs El Gigante in Ric Flair's car. Kevin Nash closes the car. The arena is exploding in a chorus of boos. The winner is Kevin Nash. Time of match: 0:36:05 Nash drives off in Ric Flair's car.. well.. actually, the car stalls. Then X-Pac and Marty Jannetty comes out with a lawnmower and jumper cables to give the car some juice. ... This contest is a ladder-no-DQ-no-countout-match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... Fighting out of Planned Parenthood... Weighing in at 265 pounds... The Abortionist His opponent... Fighting out of San Antonio, Texas... Weighing in at 234 pounds... "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels They lock up. Shawn Michaels whips The Abortionist into the ropes. The Abortionist nails Shawn Michaels with an ax kick. The Abortionist runs into the ropes. The Abortionist misses with a shoulderblock. Shawn Michaels uses a bodyslam on The Abortionist. Shawn Michaels goes for a flying elbowdrop, but The Abortionist rolls out of the way. The Abortionist hits a side suplex on Shawn Michaels. The Abortionist works the crowd. Quite a few boos are audible. The Abortionist uses a side suplex on Shawn Michaels. The Abortionist goes for an abdominal stretch, but Shawn Michaels reverses it. The Abortionist escapes from the hold after being trapped for 5 seconds. Shawn Michaels executes a forearm smash on The Abortionist. Shawn Michaels goes for a German suplex, but The Abortionist counters it with a go-behind. The Abortionist tries to climb the ladder. The Abortionist is on his way up. Shawn Michaels pulls him back down. Shawn Michaels nails The Abortionist with a dropkick. Shawn Michaels hits a headlock takedown on The Abortionist. Shawn Michaels gets an armbar submission on The Abortionist. The Abortionist tries to escape the hold. The Abortionist escapes from the hold after being trapped for 14 seconds. Shawn Michaels tries to climb the ladder. Shawn Michaels is on his way up. The Abortionist knocks over the ladder with a dropkick. The Abortionist throws Shawn Michaels out of the ring. The Abortionist goes through the ropes. The Abortionist knocks Shawn Michaels into the ringsteps. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail. Shawn Michaels is busted wide open. The Abortionist knocks Shawn Michaels into the ringsteps. The Abortionist is starting to get under the crowd's skin. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail. The Abortionist hits Shawn Michaels with a brain buster. They're brawling inside the ring area. The Abortionist knocks Shawn Michaels into the ringpost. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail. The Abortionist works the crowd. Quite a few boos are audible. They're brawling inside the ring area. The Abortionist knocks Shawn Michaels into the ringpost. The Abortionist takes Shawn Michaels down with a left hook. The Abortionist is handed a small sword. The Abortionist hits him with the small sword. The Abortionist is starting to get under the crowd's skin. The Abortionist stabs him with a small sword. The Abortionist grabs a chair. The Abortionist sets up the chair. The Abortionist goes for a Soviet suplex, but Shawn Michaels blocks it. Shawn Michaels uses a German suplex on The Abortionist. Shawn Michaels knocks The Abortionist into the ringpost. Shawn Michaels executes a punch on The Abortionist. The Abortionist is busted wide open. Shawn Michaels whips The Abortionist into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. Shawn Michaels hits The Abortionist with an inverted atomic drop. Shawn Michaels whips The Abortionist into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. Shawn Michaels nails The Abortionist with a punch. Shawn Michaels goes for an armdrag takedown, but The Abortionist blocks it. The Abortionist sets up a table. The Abortionist sets up Shawn Michaels on the table. The Abortionist executes the Alley Way Special through the table. The table is broken in half. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail. The Abortionist takes Shawn Michaels down with an ax kick. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail. The Abortionist goes for an ax kick, but Shawn Michaels blocks it Shawn Michaels knocks The Abortionist into the ringpost. There are lots of chants for Shawn Michaels. Shawn Michaels reenters the ring. The Abortionist follows him back in. Shawn Michaels whips The Abortionist into the turnbuckle. Shawn Michaels runs shoulder-first into the corner. Shawn Michaels executes the Superkick on The Abortionist. The crowd is going crazy. Shawn Michaels goes for a punch, but The Abortionist reverses it. Shawn Michaels is bleeding like hell. The Abortionist executes the Alley Way Special on Shawn Michaels. The crowd is booing The Abortionist. The Abortionist uses an ax kick on Shawn Michaels. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the ropes. The Abortionist executes a Samoan Drop on Shawn Michaels. The Abortionist works the crowd. The crowd is booing The Abortionist. The Abortionist throws Shawn Michaels out of the ring. The Abortionist goes through the ropes. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail. The Abortionist is handed a chain. The Abortionist hits him with the chain. A wave of boos is going through the crowd. The Abortionist nails Shawn Michaels with a Samoan Drop. The Abortionist knocks Shawn Michaels into the ringpost. The Abortionist uses a stomachbreaker on Shawn Michaels. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail. The Abortionist grabs a chair. The Abortionist takes a running start and springs off the chair. The Abortionist nails Shawn Michaels with a dropkick. The Abortionist knocks Shawn Michaels into the ringsteps. A wave of boos is going through the crowd. They're brawling inside the ring area. They're brawling inside the ring area. Shawn Michaels takes The Abortionist down with a kick to the midsection. Shawn Michaels throws The Abortionist back into the ring. Shawn Michaels uses a back suplex on The Abortionist. Shawn Michaels uses a dropkick on The Abortionist. Shawn Michaels sets the ladder back up. Shawn Michaels tries to climb the ladder. Shawn Michaels is on his way up. Shawn Michaels is half-way up. Shawn Michaels is almost on top of the ladder. Shawn Michaels is in grabbing distance. Shawn Michaels dives for the fetus, but he misses. The Abortionist uses a side suplex on Shawn Michaels. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the turnbuckle. The Abortionist charges into the corner, but Shawn Michaels moves out of the way. Shawn Michaels throws The Abortionist out of the ring. Shawn Michaels goes through the ropes. Shawn Michaels nails The Abortionist with an armdrag takedown. Shawn Michaels throws The Abortionist back into the ring. Shawn Michaels whips The Abortionist into the turnbuckle. Shawn Michaels chops The Abortionist. The crowd is going crazy. Shawn Michaels kicks The Abortionist. The crowd is behind Shawn Michaels all the way. The Abortionist executes a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Shawn Michaels. A fan at ringside badmouths The Abortionist. The Abortionist runs into the ropes. Shawn Michaels executes a bodyslam on The Abortionist. Shawn Michaels takes The Abortionist down with a flying elbowdrop. The chants for Shawn Michaels are deafening. Shawn Michaels executes the Superkick on The Abortionist. The crowd is behind Shawn Michaels all the way. Shawn Michaels tries to climb the ladder. Shawn Michaels is on his way up. Shawn Michaels is half-way up. Shawn Michaels is almost on top of the ladder. Shawn Michaels is in grabbing distance. The Abortionist knocks over the ladder with a shove. The Abortionist gives the sign for the Alley Way Special. The Abortionist executes the Alley Way Special on Shawn Michaels. The Abortionist is eliciting a sizable round of boos. The Abortionist sets the ladder back up. The Abortionist tries to climb the ladder. The Abortionist is on his way up. The Abortionist is half-way up. The Abortionist is almost on top of the ladder. The Abortionist is in grabbing distance. The Abortionist dives for the fetus, but he misses. Shawn Michaels is bleeding like hell. Shawn Michaels nails The Abortionist with a flying dropkick. The chants for Shawn Michaels are deafening. Shawn Michaels tries to climb the ladder. Shawn Michaels is on his way up. Shawn Michaels is half-way up. Shawn Michaels is almost on top of the ladder. Shawn Michaels is in grabbing distance. Shawn Michaels has retrieved the fetus. The chants for Shawn Michaels are deafening. The winner is Shawn Michaels. Time of match: 0:11:09 No-Countout-No-DQ-Ladder Match Shawn Michaels defeated The Abortionist in 0:11:12. Rating: * 1/4 Then, Trish Stratus runs out in anger and declares "HANDS OFF MY BODY", causing Shawn to take his hands off her boobs. Trish declares it's wrong for HBK to win that match, instead, that fetus should go with the Abortionist, who can use Canada's medical system to take care of it. Trish hits HBK low and tosses the fetus to the Abortionist, normally this would cause boos, but this is Trish, and it gets cheered. Kevin Nash reveals that he just had sex in Ric Flair's car with Chae. Flair then runs out in anger, only to run into the front of his car. Then, we see David Arquette, who is hit once again by the White Hummer. WHO IS IN THE HUMMER?!?! Show #4: Meanwhile, Bradshaw pledged to put the 'Screaming' back on Screaming Norman Smiley. [sodomy Match]: I-Quit Match: Norman Smiley made Bradshaw submit to the Norman Conquest in 0:08:05. Rating: *** Norman screams in celebration saying "Don't mess with me", he goes the Big Wiggle, before Vince Russo walks in and gives him the evil eye, commenting "Dat match was boring Norman! Why don't we bring Ralphus back?" Show #5: Viagra on a Pole Match: Honky Tonk Man pinned Jerry Lawler after hitting him with a foreign object in 0:05:29. Rating: ** 1/4 Honky Tonk Man takes the Viagra down, but then.. MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE hobbles down and steals the viagra. Our wheel hit 'Capture the Midget' Jeff Jarrett throws Paul Wight back into the ring. Jeff Jarrett executes the Stroke on Paul Wight. Jeff Jarrett is starting to get more cheers than boos. Jeff Jarrett tries to climb the ladder. Jeff Jarrett is on his way up. Jeff Jarrett is half-way up. Jeff Jarrett is almost on top of the ladder. Jeff Jarrett is in grabbing distance. Jeff Jarrett has retrieved the Midget. Jeff Jarrett is getting a pissed look amidst all the boos. The winners are X-Pac and Jeff Jarrett. Time of match: 0:11:19 [Capture the Midget]: Ladder Match for the vacant World's Worst Tag Team Titles: X-Pac and Jeff Jarrett defeated Sid Vicious and Paul Wight in 0:11:20. Rating: -*** (X-Pac and Jeff Jarrett won the World's Worst Tag Team Titles.) X-Pac and Jarrett celebrate with the belts, before the Midget summons out the mortal enemies of X-Pac and Jeff Jarrett: The Real Double J Jessee Jammess and XANTA XLAUS! They clean house. ... This contest is a ladder-no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-match scheduled for one fall. It is for the Big Gold Belt. Introducing first... Fighting out of Hollywood... Weighing in at 140 pounds... "Former WCW Champion" David Arquette His opponent... Led to the ring by Ed Ferrara... Fighting out of Long Island... Weighing in at 180 pounds... The holder of the Big Gold Belt... "Vinnie Roo" Vince Russo Joining this match late: Vince Russo whips David Arquette into the turnbuckle. Vince Russo charges into the corner, but David Arquette lifts his leg. David Arquette goes for a kick to the thigh, but Vince Russo blocks it. Vince Russo tries to climb the ladder. Vince Russo is on his way up. Vince Russo is half-way up. Vince Russo is almost on top of the ladder. Vince Russo is in grabbing distance. Vince Russo dives for the Big Gold Belt, but he misses. David Arquette hits Vince Russo with a dropkick. David Arquette tries to climb the ladder. David Arquette is on his way up. David Arquette is half-way up. David Arquette is almost on top of the ladder. David Arquette is in grabbing distance. David Arquette dives for the Big Gold Belt, but he misses. The crowd is going into a frenzy. Vince Russo hits David Arquette with a diving lariat. Vince Russo tries to climb the ladder. Vince Russo is on his way up. Vince Russo is half-way up. Vince Russo is almost on top of the ladder. Vince Russo is in grabbing distance. Vince Russo dives for the Big Gold Belt, but he misses. *CLIP* David Arquette executes the Diamond Cutter on Vince Russo. The crowd is on its feet cheering for David Arquette. David Arquette hits Vince Russo with a dropkick. Vince Russo bumps into James Beard. David Arquette throws Vince Russo out of the ring. David Arquette goes through the ropes. David Arquette executes an elbowsmash on Vince Russo. David Arquette whips Vince Russo into the guardrail. David Arquette hits Vince Russo with a Northern Lights suplex. David Arquette knocks Vince Russo into the ringpost. David Arquette whips Vince Russo into the guardrail. David Arquette uses a belly-to-back suplex on Vince Russo. David Arquette reenters the ring. Vince Russo follows him back in. Vince Russo does the Bronco Buster. Vince Russo takes David Arquette down with a backward kick. Vince Russo executes the Crash TV on David Arquette. A wave of boos is going through the crowd. Vince Russo tries to climb the ladder. Vince Russo is on his way up. Vince Russo is half-way up. Vince Russo is almost on top of the ladder. Vince Russo is in grabbing distance. Vince Russo dives for the Big Gold Belt, but he misses. David Arquette goes for a back heel kick, but Vince Russo ducks out of the way. Vince Russo executes a punch on David Arquette. Vince Russo nails David Arquette with an avalanche. Vince Russo runs into the ropes. Vince Russo hits David Arquette with a diving lariat. Vince Russo whips David Arquette into the ropes. David Arquette hits Vince Russo with a kick. James Beard is back on the job. David Arquette throws Vince Russo out of the ring. David Arquette goes through the ropes. David Arquette whips Vince Russo into the guardrail. David Arquette goes for a bodyslam, but Vince Russo blocks it. Vince Russo takes David Arquette down with a punch. Vince Russo uses a punch on David Arquette. Vince Russo knocks David Arquette into the ringsteps. Vince Russo hits a punch on David Arquette. Vince Russo goes for a clothesline, but David Arquette ducks out of the way. David Arquette knocks Vince Russo into the ringsteps. David Arquette whips Vince Russo into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. David Arquette hits Vince Russo with a kick to the thigh. Ed Ferrara comes from behind and distracts David Arquette. Vince Russo hits a clothesline on David Arquette. Vince Russo takes David Arquette down with an ax kick. Ed Ferrara comes from behind and distracts David Arquette. They're brawling inside the ring area. David Arquette knocks Vince Russo into the ringsteps. The crowd erupts. Ed Ferrara comes from behind and distracts David Arquette. Vince Russo goes for a clothesline, but David Arquette counters it with a belly-to-belly suplex. David Arquette goes for a jack-knife power bomb, but Vince Russo counters it with a backdrop. Vince Russo whips David Arquette into the guardrail. Vince Russo uses a big boot on David Arquette. Vince Russo reenters the ring. David Arquette follows him back in. Vince Russo executes the Crash TV on David Arquette. Vince Russo hits David Arquette with a backward kick. Vince Russo executes a clothesline on David Arquette. Vince Russo hits a diving lariat on David Arquette. Vince Russo hits a clothesline on David Arquette. Vince Russo hits a diving lariat on David Arquette. Vince Russo runs into the ropes. David Arquette hits Vince Russo with a shoulderblock. David Arquette executes the Diamond Cutter on Vince Russo. The crowd is giving David Arquette a standing ovation. David Arquette tries to climb the ladder. David Arquette is on his way up. David Arquette is half-way up. David Arquette is almost on top of the ladder. David Arquette is in grabbing distance. David Arquette has retrieved the Big Gold Belt. The crowd is on its feet cheering for David Arquette. The winner is David Arquette. Time of match: 0:24:16 Russo breaks down in tears as Arquette claims the belt. Russo, in his tears, declares "Next show.. Russo.. Arquette... steel cage" Show #6: Triple H declares that Kane killed Mother Theresa, "but the question is, did you screw her while she was alive, or after she died?" ... [Corpse Fuckin Match]: Ladder Match: Kurt Angle made Triple H submit to the Ankle Lock in 0:04:09. Rating: *** Angle celebrates after being the first person to ever win by submission in a ladder match. Angle then is swarmed by an army of disco dancers as HHH climbs the ladder and retrieve Katie Fick's panties. Vince Russo declares that since Kurt Angle didn't actually climb the ladder, HHH will move on in the tournament to face Kane next show. ... Chris Candido trains with the other Oompa Loompas in the back. Randy Savage sure would like to have some viagra. Viagra on a Pole Match: Randy Savage pinned Chris Candido with the Flying Elbow-Drop in 0:05:59. Rating: * 1/2 ... Cross Match: The Abortionist defeated Shawn Michaels in 0:08:50. Rating: ** 1/2 The Abortionist tries to put Shawn Michaels on the Cross. The Abortionist puts Shawn Michaels on the Cross. The attendants carry Shawn Michaels back to the locker room. The Abortionist further incites the crowd. Shawn Michaels ascends to heaven. The crowd cheers. Show #8: We see Vince Russo in the back talking with S.E.X., he has new Sports Entertainment gimmicks for Low-Ki, Elix and Chris Daniels. Low-Ki is now "Edgar the Iranian", Daniels is now "The Peace Advocate" ("People deez days hate peace, dey want War!") and Elix is now Elix Hitler ("You'll get alot of heel heat") ... Vince Russo talks with Sexual Harris-ment (Ron and Don Harris), they promise to Sexually Harris Bradshaw and A-Train Bradshaw is backstage, he declares that he's gonna tie the Harrises up and do them like hogs. Bradshaw brings out A-Train and declares that he loves the feeling of babyoil on back hair. [Round 1]: The Dangerhoss Alliance (The A-Train and Bradshaw) defeated Sexual Harris-ment when A-Train pinned R. Harris with the Baldo Bomb in 0:04:37. Rating: -1/2* ... Vince Russo tells Jerry Lynn that he has no personality and he renames Jerry to be "Sex Addict Jerry" ("But I'm not a sex addict!" "Jerry, man.. I gotta do kayfabay, you gotta be thinkin about sex 24-7. It gets ratings!") Kevin Nash pinned Sex Addict Jerry with the Jackknife Power Bomb in 0:00:53. Rating: 3/4* Show #9: Meanwhile, Jerry Lynn is surrounded by 40 unenthusiastic women. Lynn asks them to go away. Vince Russo charges in to yell at Lynn for breaking kayfabe. "If I didn't book you to lose tonight, I'd punish you for breaking kayfabe!" ... The Iraq Attaq defeated American Dragon and Kurt Angle when Credible pinned K. Angle with the Jumping DDT in 0:00:15. Rating: 1/2* But, when Angle and Dragon have to burn the stars and stripes, TEST runs out to declare "DON'T DO IT! THEY'LL ONLY PUT YOU IN A GIMMICK WHERE THEY MAKE A PUN ABOUT YOUR NUTS!" before he is shot by a tranquilizer and dragged off by Bradshaw. Then.. the lights go out.. and PYRO shoots out, setting the flag on fire.. Kane runs out to apologize for his error. Vince Russo runs out and then salutes Kane on a good job screwing up Kurt Angle's heel turn. Triple H gets brainfreeze from drinking his slurpee too fast ... Jake Roberts hits X-Pac with a legsweep. Jake Roberts tries to climb the ladder. Jake Roberts is on his way up. Jake Roberts falls off the ladder. Jake Roberts tries to climb the ladder. Jake Roberts is on his way up. Jake Roberts is half-way up. Jake Roberts is almost on top of the ladder. Jake Roberts is in grabbing distance. Jake Roberts has retrieved the crackpipe. Jake Roberts falls off the ladder The winner is Jake Roberts. Time of match: 0:09:25 Ladder Match: Jake Roberts defeated X-Pac in 0:09:29. Rating: 1/4* As doctors attempt to jumpstart Jake's heart. HHH comes out and tells X-Pac that he put up a good effort. HHH then collapses due to his feet being asleep. ... Triple H update: Still has a leg cramp. ... Barry Horowitz executes the Horowitz Roll-Up on Don Harris. Tim White counts: One, two, three. Barry Horowitz is met with a mixture of cheers and boos. Goldust, Barry Horowitz and Ahmed Johnson defeated Sexual Harris-ment and Elix Hitler when Horowitz pinned D. Harris with the Horowitz Roll-Up in 0:01:51. Rating: -1/2* As the Harrises and Elix are dragged to a gas chamber, they are stopped by The Revisionist (formerly Alex Wright) who declares that there were no gas chambers. Therefore, if they have to be punished like how the Nazis would do it, the Harris Brothers and Elix must be shot. Surprisingly, this caused a standing ovation. We interrupt this to show you a Triple H update.. Triple H update: right foot still asleep. Now, the Harrises and Elix are lined up in front of a firing squad, then suddenly, THE WALL runs out and attacks the guns men. Then suddenly GOLDBERG runs out, and TURNS HEEL ON JEWISH PEOPLE by saving Sexual Harris-ment. Goldberg then injures Elix again while rescuing him. ... This contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall. It is for the World's Worst Tag Team Titles. The losers must perform Oral Sex on the winners. Introducing first... At a total combined weight of 266 pounds... Trish Stratus and Victoria Their opponents... At a total combined weight of 607 pounds... The World's Worst Tag Team Champions... The Outsiders Zenk the Ripper hits Scott Hall with his laptop. Danny Davis warns Victoria. Victoria executes the Slingshot Legdrop on Scott Hall. Victoria is getting a pissed look amidst all the boos. Victoria goes for the pin. Danny Davis counts: One, two, three. The crowd is wildly cheering Victoria with only a few scattered boos audible The winners are Trish Stratus and Victoria. Time of match: 0:07:51 Trish Stratus and Victoria defeated The Outsiders when Victoria pinned Hall with the Slingshot Legdrop in 0:07:51. Rating: 1/4* (Trish Stratus and Victoria won the World's Worst Tag Team Titles.) ... New Jack is arrested by the cops for possession of a deadly guitar. "Natural Born Killaz" plays as New Jack is led to a cop car. Meanwhile, Goldberg turns face and beats up Sexual Harris-ment and Elix Skipper A Card in May: the debut of MR. IRAQ Michael Cole walks out with his kilt on, and then here comes Mr. Iraq, and the fans go wild. Mr. Iraq is a small man in green tights, green boots, with a military outfit and a mask, and he's wearing a baret. Michael Cole objects to this, claiming the man is only Mohammad al-Sahhaf, but Mr. Iraq replies.. "I AM NOT MOHAMMAD AL-SAHHAF, INFIDEL! I WILL FORCE YOU TO DRINK POISON AND SURRENDER TO THE GREAT IRAQI ARMY WHICH IS COMING TO CRUSH MORE AMERICANS" and the fans go wild. Cole talks some, then "YOU ARE JUST LYING, THE AMERICANS NEVER CAME INTO BAGHDAD, THEY TOOK A TOWN IN ARIZONA CALLED BAGHDAD AND THEN STAGED THE STATUE THING!" Then John Ashcroft comes out. "Mr. Al-Sahhaf, you are trying to fool us, right? My god tells me that you will burn big time. Suuuuckkkkkaaaa!!!!!" Al-Sahhaf laughs and releases a calico cat on Ashcroft. Then, more music. IT'S WESLEY WILLIS! "Yo Al-Sahhaf, you're so wack man! you lie all the time. Mohammad Al-Sahhaf lied to me, lied to me, about the war and me, lied to me. Mohammad Al-Sahhaf lied to me, lied to me, about the war and me, lied to me. Mohammad Al-Sahhaf lied to me, lied to me, about the war and me, lied to me." Wesley then plays the keyboard, but he is arrested by the FBI also. But Al-Sahhaf has a closing statement. "What you gonna do, when the 24 inch scuds run wild on you!??? INFIDEL!" Fade to black -- New Card coming soon, I swear

If there are two inductees, here are my votes Kamui Rob Stone If there are four inductees, then here goes Kamui Rob Stone Unger MikeSC Mike, you understand that you put yourself in the crossfire by starting this thread (you put it in CE?? what??)

Nunzio is that 1AM EST or CST?

I guess there just wasn't enough time for Ashcroft or the DOJ people to ask "Hey FBI, where did you get this information from?" The Brigade is a front for something, that's for sure.

I don't think I lost my literacy, but it appears Israel killed a top commander, but not their new leader. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamas