This was posted on the EWR board...and shows just how awesome my commentary can be.
Goldberg vs Triple H.
Match Background: This will be an iron man bout. This match is for the WWE World title. Goldberg has been WWE World champion since 01 August 2003.
The Match: FIRST FALL: Boring brawling from Triple H is the cure for insomnia. Triple H DDTs Goldberg in a move that is so poorly executed, you can actually see that Goldberg's head didn't touch the mat at all. There's a two count on the pin. Goldberg ducks a wild right hand. Goldberg DOESN'T take a page out of Andre the Giant's book and hits an incredibly weak headbutt on HHH. Flying dropkick from Goldberg on HHH gets a two count. Hooks the leg for a two count. Side suplex from Goldberg. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Pin, but HHH is out just before the three count. Goldberg attacks with some poorly executed flying moves. This kid sure ain't Rey Jr. Triple H comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Badly executed second rope splash by HHH convinces me that I can do better. Hooks the leg for a two count. Sloppy discus punch from Triple H barely connects on Goldberg. Pin, but Goldberg is out just before the three count. Boring brawling from Triple H is the cure for insomnia. Chop from HHH on Goldberg. Goldberg avoids a Triple H avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Goldberg hits a wheel kick on HHH. Goldberg connects with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Does everyone use that move these days? The ref gets into position, administers the three count, and it's over. Goldberg pins HHH. SECOND FALL: Goldberg suplexes HHH to the canvas and floats over to a mounted position. Uninspiring brawling from Goldberg. Check them brawlin' stats, boy. Kick to the gut from Goldberg, who sadly, was even able to botch THAT. HHH takes a hangman's neckbreaker from Goldberg. HHH backdrops Goldberg out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Triple H. Flying dropkick from HHH on Goldberg gets a two count. Flying elbow off the top rope by Triple H, but there was NO elevation off the leap. Covers for a quick two count. HHH drops an elbow...but Goldberg moves out of the way. Goldberg hits a stump piledriver on Triple H. There's a two count on the pin. Goldberg scores with a shitty standing spinebuster. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Triple H elbows Goldberg in the face to break a hammerlock. Triple H hits a bulldog off the ropes. Cover gets three for Triple H, Goldberg got pinned. THIRD FALL: Goldberg uses some pathetic kicks in the corner now. HHH ducks a wild right hand. Goldberg takes a chop from HHH that just STINGS the opponent. HHH whips Goldberg into the turnbuckles...and the ref is crushed! Side suplex from HHH. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is out and can't count to three! Goldberg powers out of a headlock. Goldberg hits a BIG clothesline for two! Goldberg DDTs HHH in a move that is so poorly executed, you can actually see that Triple H's head didn't touch the mat at all. There's a two count on the pin. Slingshot clothesline by Goldberg, who almost messed it up by slipping on the ropes. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Triple H fights out of a grapple. Triple H hits a crappy missile dropkick on Goldberg. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Goldberg reverses a Triple H hammerlock. Triple H hooks up a suplex, but Goldberg flips out and lands on his feet, and quickly grabs the tights to score with a school boy pin! 1...2..3! The referee somehow missed the blatant cheating! END OF BOUT.
My Opinion: Quite possibly the worst match that I've EVER SEEN! -***** PLEASE tell me that you did this on purpose! PLEASE. A negative five star match is not something you just...DO. This was probably the worst thing I've ever seen this side of Diesel vs. Mabel from Summerslam '95. I must now go and gouge out my eyes, thank you very much.
Goldberg was an Evil Clown and HHH was a Valley Girl.
Dames
