King Cucaracha

Before the first match please. COLE *puts finger to earpiece* ...sorry, what's that? We're being told that our broadcast colleague Josh Matthews is standing by... up in one of the private boxes here in the arena. Let's go to Josh. Up in the higher reaches of the arena, we go past the cheap seats and into the really expensive, private seats to find Josh being ushered through to the balcony. There sits Landon Maddix, kicked back in his seat, his good mood only interrupted when the crowd spot what's going on on the big screen and start booing him. Next to Maddix is his trusty blonde sidekick. The male one that is, James Blonde. At the back of the skybox, Faqu can be seen picking inquisitively at a basket of chicken legs on the buffet. MATTHEWS Thanks Michael, I'm up here where Cucaracha Internacional have apparantly rented out a skybox for the night. And if we can just get a word with Landon... Landon, this is some expense considering you guys could have just gotten your own dressing room. What are you doing up here? MADDIX Well, we [i]were[/i] enjoying ourselves. BLONDE Yeah, who let you in anyway? MADDIX It's okay James. Spread the love and all that. Josh, have a seat. What we're doing up here is living in the lap of luxury, no surprise that you wouldn't understand that I guess. Cost is no object when you're having fun. MEGAN (walks into shot carrying drinks) Plus The Enterprise decided it wasn't secure enough for them, so we got it on the cheap. There's your drinks. Oh, yeah, we weren't willing to pay out extra for a waitress either. Laughing under his breath, Landon takes the drink and makes sure Megan leaves. MADDIX The economy's not great... you've got to tighten the purse strings somewhere... MATTHEWS Oh I understand. MADDIX The cost isn't important. What's important is, things are on the up-turn for Cucaracha Internacional, so why not soak it in? I'm not on the card tonight. Neither are the 6-Man Tag Champs. But, you know who is, right? Todd Cortez, the United States Champion! Blonde's face screws up at the mention of Cortez, quickly taking a swig of his drink to mask it. MADDIX So we're going to kick back and enjoy ourselves tonight, with the added bonus of having the best seats in the arena to watch Todd's title defence. MATTHEWS Best seats? We're about 300 feet from the ring. MADDIX Yeah but they've got padding. Stroking the back of his seat, Landon smiles in comfort. MATTHEWS Alright, while these guys enjoy the seats, we're going to send it to where the real comfort is at, Sofa Central with Coach and Michael Cole. COACH What do you think he meant by that? COLE By what? COACH 'The real comfort is at Sofa Central'. Is he saying this is where he wants to be. In OUR seats? If he's trying to come after our jobs, I will fuck his shit up real quick, believe that. Incase he don't watch the news, we don't have to give up our seats for pasty face pussies like him no-more!

FWIW, my big plan was for a Sting('92 era)/Edge feud at the top of the card. So at least I got one of my top two picks.

Okay, venue wise I'm taking Orlando. I had another idea, but there was really no supercard level stadium. With Orlando, I get TV tapings at the Disney MGM Studios and Universal Studios (home of TNA Impact and WCW Syndicated shows... if that's not a good omen, I don't know what is!). Plus a supercard from this place. As for the first pick, I'm going to leave my top babyface to chance because there's nobody really jumping out at me anymore and fingers crossed, I'll get one of my eight or nine 'maybes' back next. I can't chance losing this guy though. There's argueably bigger draws left on the board. But my next pick has developed argueably as strong of a character as any of them, in an era where characters are too often assigned and not tailored. A character which would look weak on virtually anyone else. And a heel character which should match up with most faces pretty well. If the money is in the chase, who better to be chasing, and to create opportunities to chase, than The Ultimate Opportunist. My 1st pick and the 15th of the draft is The Rated R Superstar. EDGE!

Son of a bitch, Sting and Undertaker gone. I wanted Sting bad too.

Basic shell of the card is up. 1) I'll edit in descriptions and junk when I have a spare moment. 2) Two matches need marking since Toxxic won't be available this show. Anyone who wants a match, or even both, say the word. 3) There is no three. It'd just look weird with only two.

The SWF presents... Northwest Navigation '09 LIVE to DVD from The Spokane Arena in Spokane, Washington 7pm EST, SATURDAY, 14TH MARCH -HERE I SAY SOME FUNNY STUFF AND ADMIT TO STEALING THE TITLE FROM NOAH- CONFIRMED AND MOST CERTAINLY HUGE #1 CONTENDERSHIP BATTLE! Michael Alexander vs. Luke Breslin © Winner gets a title shot when we damn well feel like giving it. Word Limit: 6000 Rules: Standard singles Send To: King Cucaracha TWO UNFINISHED BUSINESSES, ONE MATCH Taiga Star © and Dance Dance Dragon vs. Thoth and Big Bully Bruner -- Word Limit: 5500 Rules: Standard Tag Send To: JST INCREDIBLY RARE SWF 10 MAN TAG The Wrestling Clinic (Tod James Stuart ©, Daniel Smith, Antonio Carson and Matthew and Michael Jones) vs. The Four Norsemen and Legs Flamingo -- Word Limit: 4000 Rules: Standard Singles Send To: King Cucaracha INTENSE STRONG STYLE FRUSTRATION RELEASE Va'aiga vs. MANSON -- Word Limit: 4500 Rules: Standard Singles Send To: HollywoodSpikeJenkins (send all marked matches, promos etc to King Cucaracha)

He was just back from injury, although he'd played the last two games from the bench. Probably with the next Premier League game in mind.

Here's a question. Does Conan even NEED Richter there now? From the reading of it, it just says announcer and in comedy bits, which isn't a problem. Somebody's got to fill Joel's role. Having him on the couch? Seems like it'd be a backwards move to me. I'll admit to being a late bloomer to the show so I'm not hugely familiar with Richter, but Conan's more than entertaining enough not to need a 'sidekick' anymore. Plus he's got the band to bounce stuff off live. EDIT: I mean, I understand why he'd want Richter on the show and I'm not saying he shouldn't be. I just think Conan would be better solo now than with someone next to him/across from him.

American Idol is watchable.

Why not have 30? Why not have 50? Gotta have a cut-off point somewhere. Suck it up. Most of us had to.

Unnamed = Knox Out? Should I be happy? Or are they making stuff up? That newsbit is based on an off the cuff remark Meltz made on the Monday night audio update, right down to the "which is sad". The only difference is Meltz said they "have no confidence in him" (his wrestling ability), not they will be losing faith in the future. He's not where he is for his wrestling ability, so that's not even news. But, as we have come to learn by now, Internet favourite + in the doghouse = slow news week material.

That was a really good match. If they find enough people willing to take the Warrior's Way once he's called up, he's made. That'll get over as big as Bourne's Shooting Star Press.

In not a huge surprise, Dave Taylor is the first member on Claudio's Team Uppercut.

I would watch a Don West vs. Mike Tenay match.

Spaceman Ross isn't so bad. Aside from the headache I got from the guy embedding the music (2:30 in the morning too... I gotta stop staying up to watch this stuff), it was foleyfanforever's being repulsed into idiocy by Vickie Guerrero that was the lowlight of the Raw thread last night.

Crowd seemed pretty hot all night to me. At least for this era's standards. And by next week it'll be like Sid x 108, with no explanation.

Smashy smashy.

If this were Nitro, they'd be building to a sledgehammer on a pole match next week. If it were the 80s, they'd have a contest to see who could break the most breeze blocks on Tuesday Night Titans. I'd pay to see either quite frankly.

HHH tops Orton with the extendo-sledgehammer, clearly.

Jericho getting burned!

Boo. Why use Tajiri's theme after using his NWA one in the induction video!? EDIT: Ultimo! Duh.

Yes. Awesome theme.

They've got a clock!? Awesome.

"This can't be good news." Damn fucking right.

BULLY~!