NYU

And if Taker shakes Cena's hand after the match, then what more could you ask? There is no bigger rub than the Taker handshake. And don't forget a good ol' pep talk at the end. Taker: "Kid....you're something else" Did wonders for Jeff Hardy's career

*WWE Stockholder Conference* Stockholder - Excuse me, Ms. McMahon. I know I've asked this question over and over, but when is it time to build up the younger talent ? I'm sure it would help the ratings. Linda McMahon - Building up WWE superstars is a long process that takes time. A Stone Cold Steve Austin or Rock doesn't just pop up. But we are always in the process. Stockholder - But Ms. McMahon, at Vengeance last night, Vince McMahon beat John Cena cleanly for no real reason. Why ? Linda - Well, as you see, we are continuing to establish our more well-known... Stockholder - And the Undertaker beat John Cena not once, but twice. How does that build anybody up? Linda - The Undertaker is an important part of our product and... Stockholder - And on Raw, Kevin Nash was seen constantly beating up on Chris Jericho. Isn't Nash's days in a WWE ring numbered ? Considering he was just fighting for the title last month.... Linda - Well, look at Randy Orton. He's new and quickly becoming a WWE Main Eventer. Stockholder - But the fans don't really want to see.... Linda - I've made my point. Next question please.

On a side note, that movie SWAT looks pretty sweet. I'm definitely planning to see that..... ........ ......... ......what? The commercials are better to watch than Jericho vs. Nash.

Uh....not to be an asshole or anything but....I just didn't think it was very good. Needs a lot of work. I mean, the excitement is good and all but....who's Felix ? Who's Dave ? And why do I care about them ? Plus the whole "OH MY GOD ! FUCKING INSANE ! HOLY SHIT ! ARGHAHDHAHDHGHSDOFJSFPAPOASK!" thing makes it kinda hard to read through the whole thing. * 1/2. Not awful.....but not good either

Damn, now that I think about it, Forrest Gump is a pretty quotable movie too. Forrest Gump: Stupid is as stupid does. Jenny Curran: His name's Forrest. Forrest Gump: Like me. Jenny Curran: I named him after his daddy. Forrest Gump: He got a daddy named Forrest, too? Jenny Curran: You're his daddy, Forrest. Jenny Curran: Have you ever been with a girl, Forrest? Forrest Gump: I see them in my Home Economics class all the time. John F. Kennedy: Congratulations, how do you feel? Forrest Gump: I gotta pee. John F. Kennedy: [turning to camera] I believe he said he had to go pee. Heh heh. Lyndon B. Johnson: [Putting medal on Forrest] America owes you a debt of gratitude, son. Now I understand you were wounded. Where were you hit? Forrest Gump: In the buttocks. Lyndon B. Johnson: Oh that must be a site. [Whispering to Forrest] Lyndon B. Johnson: I'd like to see that. [Forrest shows him; Johnson walks away embarrassed] Lyndon B. Johnson: God damn, son. Bumper Sticker Guy: [running after Forrest] Hey man! Hey listen, I was wondering if you might help me. I'm in the bumper sticker business and I've been trying to think of a good slogan, and since you've been such a big inspiration to the people around here I thought you might be able to help me -- WOAH! Man, you just ran through a huge pile of dog shit!! Forrest Gump: It happens. Bumper Sticker guy: What, shit? Forrest Gump: Sometimes. Dorothy Harris: Are you coming along? Forrest Gump: Mama says I shouldn't take rides with strangers. Dorothy Harris: This is the bus to school. Forrest Gump: Hi I'm Forrest, Forrest Gump. Dorothy Harris: I'm Dorothy Harris. Forrest Gump: Well I guess we aint strangers anymore. And of course... Forrest Gump: Mama always said, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

Now come on. Does the pitching of Jose Lima REALLY deserve its own topic ? The only topic on a MLB pitcher that should be started right now would read: Armando Benitez: Screws up - Yet Again ! No greater pleasure for a Met fan than watching him hand a game to Boston yesterday. But back to the topic..... .....uh..... Lima's good

I suppose this is that big push they were planning to give Lance Storm ? Not that I give a fuck about the guy, but it's just funny that WWE pushes for non-WWE guys always turn out this way. And guys....it's not gonna be Goldust teaming up with Storm. It's gonna be one Rob Van Dam. I mean, it's not like they have anything planned for him. And the whole "loosen-up" tag team worked so well with Kane, it'd be insanity - INSANITY - for Gerwitz to not do the same thing with Lance Storm. You watch - another 6 months of midcard hell for RVD.

Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin vs. Rey Misterio/Kidman $600 on Haas/Benjamin Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit $200 on Eddie Guerrero Zach Gowan vs. Vince McMahon $200 on Zach Gowan Zach Gowan's Fake Leg Used as Weapon: $150

Fight Club is one of THE most quotable movies ever. Some of the things that come out of Tyler Durden and the Narrator's mouths are stuff that won't easily be forgotten. Tyler Durden - Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off. Tyler Durden: You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. Tyler Durden: It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. Tyler Durden: The things you own end up owning you. Tyler Durden: Sticking feathers up your BUTT does not make you a chicken. Narrator: [While brutally beating Angel Face] I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke. Tyler Durden: It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car. Narrator: There's always that. Narrator: Every evening I died, and every evening I was born again, resurrected. Tyler Durden: Hitting bottom isn't a weekend retreat. It's not a goddamn seminar. Stop trying to control everything and just let go! LET GO! ------------------------------------- And I'm sure there are many, MANY other quotes from this movie that I'm forgetting. There are just too many good ones to list, but these are some of the ones I can still remember today (thanks to imdb.com)

My god, what a shitty SummerSlam this seems to be turning into. Triple H vs. Goldberg - Scientific Battle for the Ages ! Just like HHH vs. Nash.....only HHH won't sell nearly as good. Brock vs. Vince - If we're to believe the rumors. If not, Brock vs. Angle is FINALLY a good match. La Resistance vs. The Dudleyz - The champs nobody cares about against the team nobody's cared about in years. Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton - We're wasting a perfectly good HBK match for Suckbag, who isn't worth it and hasn't put on a good match YET ! And now....possibly Shane McMahon vs. Kane. Look at this friggin card. Second-top PPV of the year, my ass. I hope this card gets some major changes because, right now, it won't even come CLOSE to touching SummerSlam 2002.

I could do without Austin, a non-wrestler, being on the cover of the game. But besides that, it's actually some pretty nice box art.

The Mullets are on UPN, dammit ! That wouldn't help ! Now, what DOES make sense: Stacy Keibler gets a phone call from Vince McMahon. He's giving her the night off, so she can be set up on a blind date with someone. Stacy agrees and goes to a restaurant. In walks Test ! Hilarity ensues, with all those amazingly funny graphics on the bottom - from the WWE writers of course. Rico comes into the room with his American Gladiators gear on - and glasses - and starts jousting with Test. Test knocks him out, brings him up to the second floor, and throws him off the balcony. Hurricane arrives with Stripperella, and figures out that Rico couldn't have committed suicide off of the second floor - since jumpers don't wear glasses. He and Stripperella run into the restaurant and start battling Test, until the cops from CSI run in and stop all the madness. Then, Vince makes out with both Stacy and Stripperella since it's QUITE obvious from WWE television that he is an unbelievable Ladies Man. There ya go. The perfect SPIKE TV NIGHT ! Blind Date + American Gladiators + CSI + Stripperella + Plus whatever Spike TV crap you want to add = WWE ratings ! It's gold, Jerry. GOLD !

MOSUL, Iraq (July 22) - Saddam Hussein's sons Odai and Qusai were believed to have been killed Tuesday in a firefight with U.S. forces at the home of a cousin, a senior U.S. official said. Two other Iraqis also were killed. The official, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said investigators were ''awaiting positive DNA testing'' to confirm the identities. The battle took place in this northern city, where residents told an Associated Press Television News cameraman that American soldiers had come to the house looking for Saddam's elder sons. Members of the 101st Airborne Division had surrounded the house when the fighting broke out. The stone, columned building was left charred and smoldering, its high facade riddled with gaping holes from bullets and heavy weaponry. Kiowa helicopters roamed the sky. Some Iraqi civilians in Mosul appeared to have been caught in the crossfire. It was not known how many people were injured, but several were taken to a hospital. In Washington, Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld briefed President Bush about the raid in an Oval Office meeting Tuesday morning. ''I am aware of the reports,'' White House spokesman Scott McClellan told reporters. ''I am not in a position to confirm anything.'' The United States has offered a $25 million reward for information leading to Saddam's capture and $15 million each for his sons, where were also top leader's in their father's regime. Also Tuesday, a U.S. soldier was killed and another injured in an ambush along a dangerous road north of Baghdad in the so-called ''Sunni Triangle,'' a center of anti-American resistance His death brought to 153 the number of U.S. troops killed in action since the March 20 start of war - six more than during the 1991 Gulf War. U.S. Central Command in Tampa, Fla., said the attackers used rocket-propelled grenades and small arms in the assault staged along the road between Balad, 50 miles north of Baghdad, and Ramadi, 60 miles west of the capital. It gave no other details. Both towns lie within the ''Sunni Triangle,'' home to much of the remaining support for Saddam, a Sunni Muslim who used his Baathist Party to oppress the country's Shiite Muslim majority. The U.S.-led coalition's military occupation of Iraq has been met by constant armed Iraqi resistance, resulting in almost daily deaths of American troops. Many recent assaults have been staged with remote-controlled roadside explosions. While the military has not released figures on the number of attacks on American forces each day, a senior officer told reporters last week that the attacks were averaging 12 a day. Seeking to ease fears among exporters to Iraq, the U.S. occupation administration announced it was setting up a trading bank to guarantee payment for imported goods and services, Outside firms have been hesitant to do business with Iraq, which had been under stiff U.N. economic sanctions since invading Kuwait in 1990, out of worries about being paid. The new Trade Bank of Iraq, the coalition civilian administration said, will have a pool of $100 million to draw from, with an initial capitalization of $5 million. The money to support the bank comes from the $1.2 billion Development Fund for Iraq set up by the United States with United Nations approval of the American occupation plan. It is hoped the new bank will expedite the purchase of materials needed for rebuilding Iraq, including power generators, sewage pipes and oil field equipment. Copyright 2003 The Associated Press.

Please. When Triple H and Taker give these speeches, it's "Fuck those guys. They shouldn't be saying anything." When Benoit does it, it's "Benoit is God !" I am, by no stretch of the imagination, a Taker or Triple H fan. But this is just so hypocritical. Some of Benoit's recent matches, excluding the one with Matt Hardy, have been pretty damn sluggish. Almost as sluggish as a Triple H match. But they have two different standards when they give speeches ? I mean, fine, he gives speeches and all. Good for him. But please: Stop The Hypocrisy

Should we bring up the case of Rob Van Dam ? How he was AMAZINGLY popular from 2001-2002, and had his initials chanted at times where he wasn't even in the ring ! Yet, Vince chose to do nothing about it. RVD was not in line for a push, and was not a WWE-made superstar. Now, RVD is solidly in the midcard - popular, but not nearly where he was before. Eddie Guerrero will be in the same situation. Sad but true. He's not a WWE creation so he won't be pushed seriously. Plus, he wasn't in Vince's plans to be pushed so he won't be. WWE doesn't listen to their fans anymore and haven't for a few years. They chanted "RVD !" - Vince stuck his fingers in his ears and ignored it. They stayed silent for Brock - Vince continued to shove the Vanilla Gorilla down everyone's throats until he actually got a reaction. As much as the fans like Eddie, he won't be pushed seriously. Just a WWE fact.

You're assuming that WWE didn't half-ass the gimmick. Awful mistake. Nope, all these Conquistadors got was a standard mask. No body suit, nothing. Typical masked jobber Velocity-type match....only it was on Smackdown instead.

Stephanie: You bitch, SABLE ! You smash cheesecake in my face....without any WHIPPED CREAM ?! AHHHHHHHH !!! We all know that's why she's REALLY mad

Yes !! Thank God !! The world has been crying out for a Randy Orton IC Title feud !! Can this SummerSlam get any better ?! ....... ....... ....wait, La Resistance vs. The Dudleyz too ?! You're damn right it can get better !!

I think you're overthinking the concept. You won't really have to deal with all that hassle or anything. Just, if you could look like anybody else, who would it be? Whether it's to get girls (or guys, whatever the preference may be) or to fulfill your own shallow, narcissistic thoughts, who it would be? Personally.... I would probably want to look like Colin Farrell. The guy gets laid so much, he has to be doing something right. ....... .......not that I don't get laid a lot. *flexes and leaves*

You're walking along a street. You see a magic lamp, give it a few rubs, and out pops a genie. In order to thank you for releasing him, he will give you one wish. You can transform your physical looks to look like anybody else. Whether it be an actor, singer, athlete...anything. The question is: If you could get the looks of anybody else, who would it be ? Seems simple enough, but whenever I ask people that question, I always get creative answers.

So, uh.....I'm assuming it's a safe bet that RVD will beat Kane next week. Right ? Wait....no chance ? Ah, shit.

My god, this is one of the most hilarious moments in WWE history. Really, the acting is just TOP-NOTCH !

My god, the boredom. PLEASE set him on fire, Kane. JR - BY GAWD, THE FLAMES ! THEY'RE HOTTER THAN HELL ! SLAP SOME BARBECUE SAUCE ON ME !!

Come on. Just use logic with this. The WWE United States title is up for grabs....for the first time. Now.... Will Vince make the first-ever U.S. Champion a Mexican ? No, sorry Eddie. Will Vince make the first-ever U.S. Champion a Canadian ? No, sorry Benoit. So, we're down to Gunn and Hardy. Everyone knows that Vince has a hard-on for Billy Gunn so, just like everybody else, he's my pick to get the title. I really can't see Benoit or Guerrero getting the U.S. title at the end of the tournament. I mean, Vince even had the British Bulldog win the European title and become the first Euro Champion. I just don't think he would make a non-American the first-ever U.S. champion.....unless they were America-hating and we could have another cheap-heat scheme. But in this case, that isn't there. My pick - Either Gunn or Hardy. Most likely Gunn.

Shawn Michaels' return match at SummerSlam being as good as it was. Basically, I expected a below-average brawl and it was so much more than that. I was there live for that show, and was amazed at how much that match exceeded my expectations.