Swift Terror

James Brown had to be embarrassed as a black man when he pimped the 60 minutes segment on Vince Young and had to lead in to a clip featuring a Young quote. Young, eschewing the time-honored double negative preferred by ignorami for centuries, passed go and went straight for the triple negative. In responding to a question regarding being told by critics (and presumably coaches) that he should be less reckless he said "Can't nobody tell me nothing." Now, trying to glean any meaning from the grammar of that sentence would probably produce a confused look similar no doubt to the look on the face of the scholar who was first presented with Egyptian heiroglyphics and asked "what does this mean?" But it certainly has a lot of street cred, I guess. "Timeout" is the latest fad for "correcting" children (and utterly bullshit) but now we have a situation in football where the adults are getting hip to timeouts--and the refs are enabling them. On Sunday during the Florida v. Auburn game the Florida coach was allowed to call a timeout during his opponents field goal attempt in such a way so that the kicker was forced to go through with the kick but it wouldn't count. So he had to kick it again. This is effing bs. It would be awesome though, if a coach tried this and the kicker missed the 1st attempt, and because of the timeout, kicked it again and made it. Ouch.

I like the sniper's scope bumper sticker--and what's great is you can substitute CLinton with any politician you don't like, as long as they have an "i" or an "o" in their name. You gotta love impatient drivers. I routinely get tailgated for the unforgiveable crime of driving about 25-30 mph in a 25 mph zone where there are residential houses and kids playing.

7:50pm More road nonsense kkk always seems to have an asshole driver story...don't we all. A couple days ago I was at a light waiting to turn left--waiting for an opening in the stream of cars coming the other way. A truck comes up behind me after I had been there already. Finally there is an opening and apparently I didn't accelerate fast enough because this guy was nearly touching my rear bumper. So I speed up and we come up to the 4 way stop at an intersection. This intersection is weird in that it has 2 lanes. The lane on the right ends not far up ahead. So I know what this guy is going to do--I'm in the left lane, the correct lane to eventually continue. He gets in the right lane and doesn't really stop at the stop sign, he wants to fake a stop and get ahead of me. I, seeing this coming a mile away, give him a taste of his own medicine. I mimic his "rolling stop" and take off just as he is taking off (there was no other cars at the other 3 stop signs) staying ahead of him. Now, there is a car ahead of us, in my lane. This guy decides to gun it and barely gets ahead of the car in front of me. I had to slow down because the car in front was going a normal, slowish speed. But at least he didn't cut me off and if the car wasn't there, he would've had to get back in my lane behind me. Wow, our Navy is really evil. Check this out. This building has existed since 1967 and now thanks to Google Earth, some people are outraged. Due to complaints the Navy will spend $600,000 of your dollars to fix something that is completely meaningless and doesn't affect anybody. The U.S. women's soccer team has been pummeled by Brazil, 4-0 in the World Cup semi-final. For this game, the goalie that had played in all the games of the World Cup was benched in favor of a veteran goalie who had played well against Brazil earlier in the summer. Not since whats-his-name (Red Sox manager) left Pedro in the game one inning too long in 2003 and the Sox blew their 3-0 lead in the playoffs has a player change been this controversial. Well, maybe not, since no one is paying the least bit attention to this.

HBO is making a movie about the 2000 presidential election in Florida. So what's the over/under on how many days this will be premiered before the presidential election between Hillary and Guliani/Romney/Thompson?

Damn, you're good. He did say that, in so many words. Basically that Young is just an unwise, inexperienced, unknowing child that owes it all to McNabb for making it possible for him to be where he is, etc etc. A fist in the face at that point would have been nice.

Maybe one day Silverman will grow up. Dennis Miller always comments on his radio show about how he looks back at his earlier comedic career and cringes at what he was--a young, cynical mean-spirited punk. God, Wilbon is a prick. I remember watching that the day it aired. I wish for once someone would punk him out on air, I mean for real, because Tony sure aint doing it.

I love the last line in the news story about the pervert HS coach. Common to see the girls he coaches at his house. Yeah, I guess so. He built a "training facility" in his BASEMENT? Did they also check for cages down there?...like that Morgan Freeman serial killer movie where the guy had chicks in cages.

That Monday Night Football player introduction is terrible, even when it's in sync. For crissakes, there's a 3rd down play going in the background and the main concern is to make funny comments about the player introductions, taking up 2/3 of the screen. Nice going you shit-for-brains idiots.

Good lord, I hate it when people try to sanitize the way seniors live. Jesus, they're old, let them have whatever they want. James Brown is a moron. Maybe he should take a minute and walk a mile in Rex Grossman's shoes.

Don't remember his name. He was a reader, goofy, kinda big, blonde hair, always wore t-shirts, sloppy dresser, always had 10,000 pieces of tupperware for his lunch.

whatever happened to Silverstone anyway, I thought she had a quite a career going (not that I care one way or the other). I always confused her with that chick from Legally Blonde, who seems to have surpassed Silverstone in high profile movie roles. I love the guys who wash their hands and then grab a paper towel to use to open the door on their way out. Like that matters--these guys touch all kinds of public things throughout the day, including the break room microwave door, refrigerator door, etc. kkk can back up this up--there was a nutjob where we both worked grading tests who would damn near take a bath in the men's room. This guy had the water running forever and spend 5-10 minutes washing. Oh yeah, this prick also hogged 2 of the 3 microwaves in the lunch room to heat up his giant lunch every day, instead of just thowing his shit into 1 oven.

Savage is trying to set differentiate himself from other Conservative radio hosts by taking the side of the U of Florida student who was tazed by the campus police at a John Kerry speech. He wants to be the "renegade independent Conservative" don't you know. In explaining his position he told a few untruths. Maybe he thought what he was saying was true, but I doubt it. That would make him a liar. Oh well, if the shoe fits. Here's what he said. 1. The kid was hand-cuffed when he was tased. Wrong. They could not handcuff him due to his squirming and resisting. 2. The female officer tased him without warning. Wrong. They warned him, telling him to stop resisting. 3. "They" cut off the mike during his allotted time because tase-boy was asking Kerry unsettling questions about Skull and Bones. Wrong. The Q&A had been declared over and tase-boy interrupted and strated giving a speech and not obeying the rules of the Q&A. He would not stop yelling. By the way, tase-boy's yelling "help! help me! they're arresting me!" during the event is eerily, hilariously, similar to a scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. When King Arthur is riding along among a bunch of serfs and he drags Michael Palin off, who is protesting the fact that Arthur has declared himself King of the Britains because some "aquatic tart" handed him a sword. Palin yells out "Help! Help! I'm being oppressed! See the repression!"

Lando's the man. Oh yeah, and Kirk had to go and ruin things for the city cloud people by liberating the troglodites and putting everyone on an equal footing.

Perhaps the answer to the Lando mining conundrum lies in another area of geekdom--Star Trek. There was an episode where Kirk, Spock and McCoy visit a planet that had a city in the clouds. Down on the surface were the troglodites, busting their asses mining so the fancy muckety mucks up in the clouds could live the good life. Maybe that was Lando's gig as well.

Of course he did. And I'm sure the forces of Voldemort (the Death Eaters) are representative of the U.S. military oppressing people world wide. God why am I doing this to myself? I should just read the last few chapters of the final book and be done with it.

So I'm reading the next to last book in the Harry Potter series. Why I'm not sure, maybe it's just the massive pull of something that is a cultural phenomenon. I want to read the final book and I might as well read the book that leads up to it. It hasn't gotten up to a good start. I'm already annoyed with it. There's a line in the opening chapter about the Prime Minister of England meeting with the U.S. president. The president is referred to as a "wretched person". Great, and I have some 700 pages to go.

I heard that too. Good old Bob, calling back to bitch some more. That was great. The best though is Steve, the "lennonmurdertruth" guy. He calls about once a week, once every two weeks. Real nutjob...he thinks Stephen King killed Lennon.

Yep, you're correct about the native villages. I don't think I could live in Alaska, god bless those who do. I know I couldn't handle it, although it probably isn't as bad as I imagine. EDIT: I'm talking about the cold weather only being bad, not anything else bad about Alaska.

At my workplace, I have the misfortune to have my desk (cubicle) near the break room. I get to hear the noises and conversations of everyone making lunch, whatever. Today I heard some lunkhead saying to someone "Don't drink from the tap! You should drink from the water fountain, the water in the fountain is treated!". Man, how did we get to the point in the US where people believe tap water is dangerous and/or unhealthy? Tap water is safe to drink and will not harm you. It is treated. Remember when the saying was "don't drink the water in Mexico"? They were talking about the tap water and it was because it wasn't treated, unlike the nice, safe water we have here in the USA. Nobody ever said "don't drink the water in Mexico...oh yeah and also don't drink it in the US either". Well, until now at least. For some reason, it has become the norm that you shouldn't drink form the tap, even though nothing has changed to make it less safe to drink. In some instances, water from a water fountain will taste better, but it is no more safe. Taste is the reason you should drink from a water fountain or bottled water, not to avoid sickness. The bottled water you buy is from the tap, unless it says specifically that it is from a spring, such as Evian or Poland Springs. The bottling companies take the water from the tap and then do further treatments on it, mainly to improve taste and sometimes to introduce minerals and/or vitamins to the water. Me and the Mrs went shopping for a cabinet thing for the basement, since we're moving the computer down there. We went to the frontgate outlet. Frontgate sells yuppie, expensive stuff for your home and patio. Right up my alley. We found a nice wood cabinet that had a chip in one of the corners and it had scratches from being a floor model and all, but it looked ok, especially for something that is going in the basement. This thing retailed for about $500-$600. We got it for $65.

You're lucky you don't live near me. I'd get you out of the house more often.

You're an absolute tool for not having seen Batman Begins until now. Get your ass to a theater. Besides it's been out on DVD for forever. Credit to a Dennis Miller caller for pointing out that nobody has considered that Oscar the cat may not be the PREDICTOR of the deaths but rather the INSTIGATOR. Maybe this cat is curling up over their face or what not. Lets check this cat out.

I don't know which two have decided NOT to cash in on a network primetime series. The guy at the airport is the pivotal guy. He's also the one at the psychiatrists office. I love the wooden tennis racket he's carrying at the airport (don't know why, it makes no sense, I just like it) and the background music is perfect. I detect a gay undertone to his character but I don't think that's where the commercials/show is going. He's more of a "non-Alpha male, gets along great with his mother" type.

I was watching G4 channel's coverage of the 2007 Comic-Con and they showed a special announcement by the principal cast and director of the new Indiana Jones movie. This was broadcast to the Comic-Con audience and featured Spielberg, Ford and others. I liked it when Spielberg was muted when he said the title of the new film (I'm sure a lip reader catched it and it will soon be spoiled all over the internet). But then Spielberg did something that could only appeal to the hardcore Raiders fans: he brought out a chair with the name "Marion Ravenwood", followed shortly thereafter by Karen Allen. Pretty cool if you ask me. Marion was one of my all time favorite female characters of any movie. The fans always wondered why she disappeared from the two sequels and now Spielberg has made things right. I just hope he makes the movie right. There are those who will go nameless who are opposed to this new sequel (kkktookmybabyaway) and they have a point. Last Crusade was a fitting ending and Ford is a senior citizen at this point, etc. I don't know, it's to big of an event for me to ignore it. I'll be seeing it in the theatres for sure. I tried the new Miller beer product called "Chill". You've probably seen the commericals. It has lime and salt and is a Mexican recipe going way back. Last week I was walking through Biggs and there was a lady handing out little plastic cups of Chill along with chips and salsa. They were 25 cents to try so I gave it a shot. It was good and the typical beer after-taste is non-existent. Works for me, way to go Miller. PLus I love those Miller High Life commericals with the guy removing Miller beer from places that have expensive prices, so Miller good with me. Besides, Budweiser has George Clooney as a spokesperson, so I'll not be drinking a Budweiser anytime soon. The new sitcom based on the Geico Caveman commericals is making news. It seems the producers/network suits/whomever have seen fit to announce that the show "IS NOT A RACIAL ALLEGORY". Liberals everywhere must be saddened, I'm sure they were looking forward to seeing race themes on the show as whites abused the poor cavemen. Now I'm very skeptical of this show's success because only one of the three actors from the commercial are going to be in series. Big Mistake.

Dennis Miller had a good line about WC. He's like Jay Silverheels crossed with Ken Kesey.

Damn, and I hate paying $90 for our cable. I can't see paying $160--oh wait, you get internet and phone as well? Let's see 90 + 70 for our phone and internet. The same, who knew. I don't get the premium channels, but I don't want that crap, would never watch anything on it. Except I will have a get HBO when they air the Song of Ice and Fire fantasy series. Change Clint Howard to Geoffrey Lewis and I get the reference. Now, get THAT reference and you get a cookie.