bob_barron

SNL Review- Alec Baldwin/Shakira Tribute- Richard Pryor- I have some of Richard Pryor’s SNL on tape and it was hilarious. That skit with him and Chevy Chase (Nigger! Dead honky!) is one of my favourite SNL skits. Pryor was a great comic, and I remember, even on Norm, he could still get a laugh. RIP. Sports Report- Leafs- They’ve lost 3 in a row which is bad, but the fact that all three games have been at home, makes it worse. They’ve just been playing very uninspired hockey, especially on the powerplay, which was their forte. I think pairing Lindros with Sundin might be the wake-up call they need. Canucks- That win over Ottawa on Friday might have been one of my favourite Canuck games ever. I hate the Senators with a passion and having the Canucks beat them in the dramatic fashion they did, was awesome. Even though I’m not too high on him, I give Auld credit for surviving an Ottawa shootout. Nets- A better week then most. Vince seems to found have his touch, and watching him rape Cleveland was fun stuff. J-Kidd said they’re still a team in transition, so I think pretty soon they’ll put together a winning streak. I’m begging Coach Frank to let Antoine Wright play. Saints- Aaron Brooks said he wants to quit because of all the crap the Saints have been put through this week. Can’t say I would complain if he did. Mailbag!!!!!!- Editor Steve writes- So I'm starting to feel you now with this Tina and Amy thing being a really bad idea. It was cute at first but now it's like watching the quintessential chick bomb at open mic nights. So my admitedly pretty standard question is: who would you like to see take over? I'm not so familiar with the cast these days so I'm curious who you think would be able to do better. And would you want this person to try and take the more traditional approach or do you think the only way Weekend Update is going to survive is for it to be made over? -editor steve of www.fakenews.net Editor Steve runs fakenews.net, which is the best Norm Macdonald fansite out there. Seriously, check it out. I’d prefer if WU went back to the single anchor format and toned down the zaniness and just concentrated on being funny and having good jokes. Tina really has to get the hell away from the desk, she’s beyond stale. And of course, Amy Poehler just sucks. But do check out fakenews.net. Wanna be in the mailbag????? Email me at [email protected] Sorry folks for forgetting the Target skit from last week. I gave it *, Dane Cook was okay, but the rest was pretty bad. And now the review… Cold Opening Cast- Alec Baldwin, Fred Armisen Thoughts- Good to see Alec Baldwin working the cold opening like a true working class host. Alec as Saddam was really funny, especially him complaining about the stairs. His interplay with Fred about killing his family was good stuff. This seemed to drag a bit at the end, but Alec was very funny and definitely helped get the show off to a good start. ***1/2 Monologue Cast- Tim Meadows, Baldwin, Amy Poehler Thoughts- TIM MEADOWS!~ TIM MEADOWS BACK ON SNL!!! As Tim Meadows’ #1 (and only?) fan, you know I was ecstatic to see him back. Tim was hilarious here, and it was just great to see him in 8H. I’m glad Baldwin was able to make one Kim Basinger joke, since that NY Times article said he didn’t like to go there. It’s a shame we didn’t get any child custody hearing jokes though. The look-back through the years was funny, especially Alec’s one-liner about the schwetty balls. I also enjoyed hearing Alec acknowledge one of the perks of hosting 10+ times, the right to grope Amy Poehler’s breasts, just like I did in my review. See? I guess one of the perks of getting to host 10+ times is the chance to grope Amy Poehler's breasts. This was an excellent monologue though and was a fun trip through memory lane. And of course, I’m bound to love anything with Tim Meadows. ****1/4 Tylenol BM Cast- Baldwin, Rachel Dratch Thoughts- Took me a minute to get this joke (no, the BM wasn’t a dead giveaway) but once I got it, I laughed. Rachel Dratch saying, “Did you shit the bed?” makes this an easy ***. *** Face Transplant Cast- Baldwin, Tina Fey, Seth Meyers, Chris Parnell, Armisen, Dratch, Kenan Thompson, Poehler Thoughts- I wonder why they had Tina here instead of Kristen Wiig, but I’m glad they did since I think Fey’s delivery here worked much better then Wiig’s would’ve. Baldwin was his usual awesome self here, and this was a great premise for a skit. I really enjoyed Seth here, and the bit with Rachel. I know I hate on her a lot, but Tina was awesome here. The bit about Kenan (He raped me in Afghanistan, why did you become his business partner?) was easily the best part. Great skit here, Baldwin is the man. ****1/4 O’Reilly Factor Cast- Baldwin, Darrell Hammond, Parnell Thoughts- Poor Jeff Richards. A quick check of tastyjeff.com reveals that he is now selling Drunk Girl t-shirts. Poor bastard. Darrell does a pretty good O’Reilly and this was another funny skit. I haven’t watched the Factor in a while though, I really hope the set is not that ugly. All the O’Reilly skits are pretty much the same, but if the formula works, so why not. Parnell and Darrell bickering about a convicted felon running for office was really funny and the highlight of the skit. Even though the voice was funny, I felt the skit seemed to die a bit with Alec as Barney Frank. The timing just seemed off, and it came off as flat. The skit was partially redeemed with the mailbag section even though I would think after that first letter, O’Reilly would send him an autographed copy of one of his books. I did like the Larry Holmes line. Anyway, this was the usual solid O’Reilly parody. ***1/4 TV Funhouse Thoughts- On Global, right after the TV Funhouse logo they cut to a commercial for Survivor, but then cut back to the cartoon. Weird. This was very disappointing, especially since Smigel hadn’t even done a TV Funhouse since the premiere. I mean, Jennifer Wilbanks?? Nobody even remembers her. Nick Nolte drug jokes are also outdated too. Dave Foley’s voice cameo was cool, and I laughed at DeLay’s antics, but the rest of this was pretty awful. Come on Smigel, you can do better. * Brokeback Gold Cast- Baldwin, Will Forte, Dratch, Bill Hader Thoughts- Baldwin revealed they might do this skit in the NY Times article. This started out funny, but couldn’t sustain its momentum. The gay jokes were funny at first, but seemed to wear thin as the skit wore on. I think one of the problems is that the Brokeback Mountain trailer is unintentionally hilarious in itself (I mean, come on, just say they’re gay!) so there really was no need for a spoof. Like I said, I was digging this at the beginning (get it?) but it died off. **1/2 Shakira Thoughts- Shakira’s songs suck dick, but damn is she nice to watch to perform. The feeling the boobie thing was a nice touch. There really isn’t much that needs to be said, although I do reward Miss Shakira a gold star for at least following my musical guest guidelines that I set in March 2004. *1/2 Weekend Update Cast- Fey, Poehler, Forte, Parnell, Hammond, Mitchell, Meyers, Horatio Sanz, Thompson, Wiig Thoughts- Amy and Tina didn’t piss me off that much this time, so that’s a plus. Some of the jokes were actually funny. So a kudos is in order. The ABC News audition tapes were hilarious, especially Darrell as Dan Rather. I even laughed at Horatio as Gene Shalit. Parnell’s mini-rant about blowing his career was good stuff. And gotta love Seth with that bullhorn. I thought they could’ve had Tim do Stuart Scott, since Finesses’ didn’t work but that’s a minor complaint. On the flipside, Kenan’s commentary sucked. I was expecting some good stuff given that we had- a) Kenan b) a puppet c) racial humour, but was sorely let down. I think the fact that I couldn’t understand a word the puppet said kinda hurt it. An off week for Kenan. The Richard Pryor tribute at the end was nice, and as I said in my tribute, that’s one of SNL’s greatest moments. **3/4 Tony Bennett Show Cast- Baldwin, Hammond Thoughts- You know Baldwin’s a good host when he gets Darrell to stay past Update. I know I keep praising Baldwin, but he’s one of my favourite SNL hosts, and one of my favourite actors in general. The guy makes every film appearance a memorable one. Alec’s Tony Bennett impression is awesome, so you know I loved this. The interplay between Bennett and Cheney was great stuff, and I loved the little KY jelly thing. I wish we could’ve got to see Bennett have some interaction with Korn but this was still some great stuff. **** Carol Cast- Baldwin, Sanz, Poehler, Jason Sudeikis Thoughts-When I realised this was a Carol, I flipped over to HNIC and found Calgary and Ottawa in overtime. I kept flipping back and forth just to make sure nothing funny was happening Carol, and well, nothing was. Of course when I flipped back to the game, the Flames had scored, and I missed it. Damn you Carol! DUD Hot Dog Cast- Baldwin, Poehler, Samberg Thoughts- Leave it to Alec Baldwin to make this not suck. The initial bit with Amy didn’t work for me, but I thought his conversation with Samberg was cute. Baldwin eating the hot dog was random at best. ** Medicare Cast- Sudeikis Thoughts- Ummm no. Sudeikis singing Love Train was funny at first but then when I realised that’s all this skit had to offer, I tuned out. They should’ve just re-aired that Morgan Stanley advert. * Shakira feat. Horatio Sanz’s brother Thoughts- No sé mi español demasiado bien sino que pienso que Shakira cantaba sobre un burrito que ella había comprado que era un pedacito demasiado picante, y el individuo de Sanz le decía sobre sus experiencias de cruzar la frontera de México en Tejas y del trabajo como diswasher. Ese Shakira dado vuelta encendido y ella se movieron los pechos. Paré el cuidar sobre lo que cantaban y bonito mirados fijamente mucho Shakira, aunque cogí a individuo de Sanz que le decía qué taco Bell tenía la mejor salsa de Chipolte. La canción aspirada, pero mi agolpamiento para Shakira es más grandes ahora entonces mi agolpamiento en Juventud Guerrera. Ahora si el plomo de todo el Shakira seguido las huéspedes musicales femeninas calientes, nosotros pudo ganar la guerra en terror. **1/2 Glengarry Glen Elves Cast- Baldwin, Dratch, Meyers, Parnell, Poehler Thoughts- A GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS PARODY!!! Thank you Jesus! Glengarry Glen Ross is one of my favourite movies, one of my favourite Alec Baldwin performances and the whole thing is just awesome. Alec Baldwin calling Rachel a son of a bitch was hilarious. From the set of the steak knives to Baldwin mocking Seth (talking moose!), this whole thing was great. Baldwin’s ABC botch was classic too. I can’t give it too high a grade though since in order to be a true Glengarry parody, you have to have copious uses of the ‘f’ word, and Baldwin saying effin’ doesn’t work for me. Still, an awesome last skit, and a great way to cap off Baldwin’s 12th hosting gig. ***3/4 The Bottom Line- Avg. skit was **.62 making this a thumbs up show. Baldwin as usual was a terrific host and seemed to be having lots of fun. There was lots of great material (3 **** skits) and this was a fun show. Sadly, the show had two little rough patches that brought the average down, but I really liked this show. Everyone seemed energised and like they wanted to have a fun show, and it came off very well. SNL has another great host next with Jack Black (and a good mg too), and hopefully they can keep the momentum from this show going. Thumbs Up

Chicago Cincinnati Tennessee Indianapolis New England N.Y. Jets Minnesota Carolina N.Y. Giants Seattle Arizona Denver Kansas City Miami Green Bay New Orleans Buffalo- 13 NO- 17

http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/index.php?...opic=75695&st=0 You should be banned

Hey now, Lizzie McGuire Movie was not a flop! I'd say Artie Lange has been the most successful Mad TV alum.

Dennis Miller: Hey, Al, I saw the Madigan Men pilot. It's got fewer laughs than Molly Blum's internal monologue at the end of Jimmy Joyce's "Ulysses." Okay, that's funny.

No, it's true. My media ethics exam is gonna be a bitch, and I haven't done much studying. Tomorrow I'm watching two football games and going to the movies, so I had to find a time to study.

I was going to see Goblet of Fire for the 4th time, but decided to stay in and study. I feel so smart.

I named it one of my most memorable moments. I don't like the skit personally, but I can't deny that Parnell getting stabbed 37 times with a trident wasn't a memorable moment. Fred Armisen is the one who has done the Tony Danza impression. I know he did it in the Luke Wilson show, but can't seem to remember the other time.

I think you have some issues

Yea, the one with the trident

I love Paul McCartney.

I remember that, that was hilarious

I've been around since September 2000 at Delphi. Craziness

And I can feel the cold steel I can feel the cold steel And I can make a wound that won't heal I can make a wound that won't heal 38 millimeters like the police I'm at the door where John and Yoko live in love and peace In love and peace In love and peace Feel like an old shoe A rerelease Soon to be deceased Pull the trigger, the rock and roll nigger He's bigger than Jesus on a bumper sticker Pull the trigger on the rock and roll nigger Bigger than Jesus on a bumper sticker My pulse is pacing My eyes are chasing For an autograph, I've been waiting Beatle baiting There's no escaping History is taping Hey John... War is over we don't need your help America's making war on itself War is over we don't need your help America's making war on itself Six hundred and seventy six thousand Will go down in the streets of America With a bullet in the next 20 years 20 years, these bitter tears In a business of bitter tears John... (Can you hear us calling?) More bodybags than Vietnam What's my name? Mark Chapman What's my name? Mark Chapman Mark Chapman Mark Chapman Mark Chapman Mark Chapman And we run Into the arms Of America

Mother and God are my two favourite Lennon songs

I love Tajiri. They really missed the boat on his overness in 2001.

Roenick to Team USA: I better be on Olympic team ESPN.com news services When the United States announces its men's Olympic hockey team on Dec. 19, one player expects to make the cut ... or else. Kings center Jeremy Roenick told The Los Angeles Times that he "better be" on the Olympic team that will compete in Turin, Italy, in February. "It would be a travesty if I'm not," Roenick told the newspaper. "I know they want a youth movement, and they need to have one, but it'd be disrespectful of the guys who have gotten Team USA to this point internationally." Roenick will be able to make his case Thursday night when the Kings face the Carolina Hurricanes, whose coach, Peter Laviolette, will also lead Team USA. Roenick, 35, told The Times that if he doesn't make the cut, Team USA "better hope that I don't get a job as a commentator on NBC for [the Games], or it'd be 'Go Canada' all the way, and I don't want that." The deadline for teams to submit their final Olympic rosters is Dec. 22, but the United States said it will announce its final list of 23 players on Dec. 19. This season, Roenick has five goals and six assists in 26 games for the Kings.

DELAND, Fla. -- A nearly life-size sculpture of NBA All-Star Vince Carter will be erected in front of his Daytona Beach high school, despite objection from some board members. Volusia County School Board members agreed Tuesday to accept the sculpture, a donation from Carter's mother. It will be placed in front of a new gym at Mainland High School being build with a $2.5 million contribution from Carter. Board member Judy Conte said accepting the statue sends the wrong message to students. "There have been many students graduated from that school who have made wonderful contributions to their fellow man -- in science, health, theater. Where are their statues?" Conte asked. "I think we're saying we value you if you can make a lot of money, and that troubles me." Carter led the school to a state championship and was named Florida's Mr. Basketball in 1995. He now plays with the New Jersey Nets. The sculpture will feature his image holding a basketball and two children at opposite ends of a granite footbridge. It will be inscribed with inspirational words about the importance of education in building a successful future. Superintendent Margaret Smith said her predecessor, Bill Hall, and Michelle Carter-Scott agreed on the sculpture three years ago when the Mainland gym contribution was being discussed. Carter will use the new gym beginning next summer for youth basketball camps he sponsors annually. Saw that at ESPN.

Julio said he has a two year contract offer. I'll believe it when I see it.

I'm glad he didn't since I find that skit to be one of the most overrated in recent SNL history. That and Angry Boss- both rubbish

The Braves kept saying since Marte could only play 3B he wasn't that useful, so whatever. I'm glad we have a SS at least.

Kenny Rogers is also still available and wasn't offered arbitration. I think he'd be another good pickup for any team, aside from the Yankees or Mets where he's villified.

Braden Looper wasn't offered abritration- maybe the Braves could pick him up to bolster the pen.

Franco was not offered arbitration. So long Old School. Eddie Perez and Brian Jordan were, but probably won't return.

Well you win some and you lose some. Badly. At least Kolb is gone, a shame he couldn't take Reitsma with him.