Toxxic

I nominate 'End Of The World' by Apoptygma Berzerk. And yeah, what Landon said.

Good, it's been some time since I've killified IL! ...with Toxxic, anyway Although being told my word limit would be nice.

I'd like to ask why Judge didn't send my match in, given that I sent it to him on Sunday evening. Don't tell me he's been drunk ALL that time.

I didn't think Bruce was 'retarded' as such, just that I thought Rando wrote him as too well-spoken I guess. And no, I'm not gloating about the win - it's just that despite the fact I was trying to have Amy seen as a real threat, it still tickles me that a 300lber was beaten by a girl just over half his weight, and Bruce is the King of Ultraviolence Maybe I should throw her into the OatToast and let everybody there mangle her accent... (side note: the award for Worst Ever Writing Of Amy Stephens Dialogue goes, hands down, to Spike. But he ended up as the King of Cambodia, so it's all good)

Demonstar. As if there was ever any doubt.

Bruce sounds far too intelligent in this promo. And was beaten by a girl, let's not forget.

I too like this. And it just shows that when it comes down to it, Crowe is at fault for everything.

Done http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/index.php?showtopic=49559 The following thread also features area-specific football chants as performed by Va'aiga, and my first interaction with Muzz making me realise how awesome he was.

Raynor wins. I go with Flatliner.

Hey, I beat Flesher for the first one, thank you! OK, so he wrote a match that was half the length of mine and didn't actually obey the rules of the match. I stand by the fact that I beat Tom Flesher for the World Title. (but in actuality WC yes, you're pretty much right. But I wouldn't have got in a position to challenge without my amazing spotmonkeyness!)

That approach won me three World Titles, I'll have you know. *Life-President of Spotmonkeys Anonymous*

Beijing International Airport “Hey! Zyon!” Quite a lot of people shout Zyon’s name. Technicians, fans, Joe Peters, even other wrestlers on occasion. However, on this occasion Zyon knows exactly who he’s going to see before he turns around. And, sure enough, hurrying towards him down the corridor, is an Englishman with chin-length black hair. “Michael,” the Unique Youth nods. He’s never spoken to the former Toxxic before, and past Stephens’ shoulder he can see Amy and the hulking shape of Sean Davis… and suddenly an awful suspicion crystallises, “hey, if this was about that time I walked in on your sister in the girl’s bathroom-” “Say what?” Stephens says, his train of thought clearly derailed. “Uh… never mind.” “Yeah, well,” Michael Stephens says, running his hand through his hair. If Zyon didn’t know better, he might almost have thought that the (marginally) older wrestler was looking slightly shamefaced. “Look, Zyon, I saw your match against Landon on Storm…” “Looking for some tips?” Zyon asks. Stephens stares at him for a moment, expression not changing, then he nods slowly. “Well, we can all keep learning,” he says noncommittally, “but what I wanted to say was… well done, first off.” “Thanks,” Zyon says, shifting his bag from one hand to the other. “Second,” Stephens continues, “you’ve probably heard that Joe Peters has made me vs. Landon for the World Title.” “Yeah, I heard that,” the Unique Youth confirms. “And given that you beat Landon in his first match since winning that title, and I’ve beaten an old friend of mine and gone to a non-contest in a handicap tag match, you’re probably wondering why I get the title shot and not you,” Stephens says, looking a bit uncomfortable. “You know what? That had crossed my mind,” Zyon agrees. “How about if I told you that I asked for it on the basis that I’m desperately hoping Landon will start concentrating more on retaining his title, and less on breaking my neck?” That catches Zyon off-guard. He never really had much interaction with Toxxic back when he was Toxxic, but along with most people at that time, he’d always assumed that Michael Stephens’ self-confidence was the sort of thing you could use as a crowbar, or maybe a battering ram; absolutely rock-solid, unquestionable and a simple fact of life. Looking into the grey eyes now, Zak Owens can see that maybe things aren’t always as they seem. “…guess I didn’t think of it like that.” “Look, Zyon, you’re a good bloke,” Mike says, “and you’re a bloody good wrestler as well, from what I’ve seen. I mean you’ve beaten Landon, you beat Amy in a hardcore match-” “Non-title as well,” Zyon says, “and then Spike goes and wins the belt by breaking a statue over Manson’s head. Bitter? Me?” He pats his bag with the Cruiserweight Title in and cocks his head to one side, considering. “Well… maybe a little.” “Oh God, Spike,” Stephens says, rubbing his eyes, “that bloody idiot… I mean Landon… I deny all responsibility for Landon,” he says firmly, looking up at Zyon again, “all the shit he’s pulled since I was away… it’s like he went from goofball to psycho and blamed it all on me. But Spike, yeah, that I’ve gotta take some responsibility for. Little shit wasn’t winning anything before he hooked up with me, then he goes straight-edge and starts making everyone’s lives a misery. And he’s still calling himself the ‘New Straight-Edge Sensation’, right?” “Uh-huh,” Zyon nods. “OK, I’m going to sort him out sometime soon,” Stephens says, seemingly making a mental note, “but look, Zyon… what I basically came to say is, if I beat Landon at 13th Hour, it only seems fair that you get the first shot at me when I’m World Champion again.” “Yeah,” Zyon says, “yeah, I think that seems fair.” “Now I can’t guarantee it‘ll work out like that, cos me and Peters have never really seen eye-to-eye,” Stephens warns, “but trust me, that’s what I’ll be pulling for. Assuming I can still walk after June 11th.” He smiles, briefly. “You’ve got my promise.” “Well, alright then,” Zyon says, smiling slightly in return. “Good luck against David Cross. And Landon.” “Cheers,” Stephens says, although the smile is fading, “good luck in… whatever the hell kind of weird match you’ve got. With the tanks, and things…” “Yeah,” Zyon says, shouldering his bag and turning away, “I feel really valued in this company, can’t you tell?” Michael Stephens watches the Unique Youth walk away for a few seconds. Then he turns and heads back to where Amy and Sean Davis are waiting for him, picks up his bag, and goes his own way.

MVS isn't looking very face to me. He's looking really quite heel, in fact. And not just because he ran in and attacked Toxxic and Amy with a steel chair (for WC's benefit).

*coughbackdropdriverpiledriverarrogantcoverslayridecough*

So cut and paste all the shows into one big document, then email them to him. Bet you anything he'll read them. And then he'll come back, and we'll have ruined another person's life (Y)

I doubt either of them have noticed or will care.

A Hansen of Lariats is your new official collective noun.

I do a lot of boring things involving speaking and setting up a match with landon at 13th Hour, then Zyon goes and ruins it all by beating Landon. Way to go, Zyon. In other news, Spike's match made me laugh a lot. HE IS THE KING OF CAMBODIA!

Jet managing Sly? Weird. Good promos though [Y]

I'm no selling the description of Toxxic's match as a straight singles match. In other news, good card, and Janus is insane. Although I smell J3 when it comes to those house rules.

Why would he want to do that when everyone knows Beowulf isn't an English legend? He was Scandinavian, unless my memory totally fails me.

Oh, J3 has kindly handed the opening promo to me. Yeah, Toxxic has opening promo again. It's back to how it used to be.

He's breakdanced before. Don't mock, or he'll knock yer block off.

The 'because she's still a champion' post: -------------------------------- Smarks Board Name: MikeofEvil Wrestler’s Name: Amy Stephens Height: 5’10 Weight: 171lbs Hometown: Nottingham, UK Age: 21 Face/Heel: Face Stable: None Ring Escort: None Weapon(s): A studded black leather bracelet that she wraps around her fist and uses like brass knuckles if she can get away with it. Quote: ‘You what!?’ *SMACK* ‘Innit!’ ‘Ya get me?’ Looks: Amy is a pretty girl with baby blue eyes, although she has a slightly chubby face. Since she’s started wrestling her figure has toned up a bit, but there’s definitely some meat on her - the only six-pack she’s ever likely to see in the mirror is the beer in her hand, and she still spills over her trousers a bit. Her black hair has a fringe, and the rest comes down past her shoulders in an undercut which gets tied back during matches. IMPRESSIVE cleavage, although that’s also partly from the fact that she‘s a tad overweight by ‘traditional’ standards. Her clothes vary from day to day, but in the ring she tends to wear baggy black Criminal Damage skate trousers, a cut-off T-shirt, normally of a band like the Ramones, and pink-and-black Vans. However, since becoming HGC Champion she also wears a barbed-wire ‘crown’ down to the ring; it’s made of real barbed wire, but the inside it padded so it doesn’t mash up her head. Too much. Ring Entrance: The blasting opening of ‘Blitzkrieg Bop’ by the Ramones fires up, leading to a cheer from the crowd. After a few seconds Amy comes out onto the stage with a can of lager (usually Stella Artois) in her hand and charges down to the ring. -FUNYON STUFF- Amy climbs to the second buckle, raises her lager and leads the crowd in a chorus: “HEY! HO! LET’S GO!” “HEY! HO! LET’S GO!” “HEY! HO! LET’S GO!” “HEY! HO! LET’S GO!” As Joey launches into the first verse proper Amy drops down to the ring again, takes a few pulls from her can and then puts it down on the apron before getting ready for the match. Stats: Strength: 3 - Amy is a beefy girl and can hit just as hard as her brother Speed: 5 - She’s not exactly… streamlined. In fact, she’s a bit top-heavy. That sort of cuts down the high-flying moves. And besides, she can’t be bothered with all that fancy crap. Vitality: 6 - Whoops. She doesn’t jump around as much as her brother, so she can take more of a kicking before she finally goes down. Not invulnerable by any means, but surprisingly resilient. Charisma: 6 - If you can penetrate the Nottingham accent and high-speed delivery she has an engaging directness that makes her brother look like a master of diplomacy. And let’s face it, the tits mean she’s gonna get cheered by every straight guy or lesbian in the audience no matter what she does. Style: Brawler. Straight-up and simple. Sloppy, unrefined and aggressive, a cool head and some wrestling knowledge should take care of her, but underestimate her determination and desire to smash your face in at your peril. Signature Moves: Blitzkrieg Punches - Amy mounts her opponent in the corner, but instead of the normal ten punches with the crowd counting along she does eight while they chant “HEY-HO-LET’S-GO!” twice. Headbutt/Diving headbutt - one of her main weapons, can and will target any part of the body. Lou Thesz press and punches Illegal use of her studded bracelet for a ‘Power Of The Punch’ type move ‘Double D T’ - SNAP DDT, Kick-out-the-leg-and-whip-backwards Lita-style. And yes, it’s a bra size joke. Sitting surfboard - Amy stands on her opponent’s back when they’re on their face on the mat, grabs their wrists and then drops back to a sitting position, bending their upper body backwards. ‘Face Breaker’ - grabs the opponent’s head in both hands while facing them, then jumps up and drops back whilst bringing both her knees up to smash into their face on landing. Imagine a Lungblower done to your face. Reverse Full Nelson neckbreaker - she may well have picked this one up from Toxxic, who loved to invent things. Amy hooks an opponent as if for a backslide but locks her hands together as if applying a full nelson, then drops down into a neckbreaker which delivers an added ‘kick’ on the neck and upper back. Moonsault - the rarest of the Sigs, since if she’s going to jump off the top rope she generally likes to see where she’s going. Common Moves: Slams Punches Kicks (nothing special) Polish Hammer 2nd rope elbow 2nd rope leg drop Biting Chokes Bronco buster/Stink Face Rare Moves: ‘Sex On The Beach’ - Corkscrew Swanton Bomb/Spiral Tap. So named because it happens less often than you’d want and it’s never as good as you expect. Plus, it’s another alcohol reference. JackDanielsHammer - cruiserweights ONLY Finishers: ‘Last Orders’ - rear naked choke with body scissors (preferred). ‘Vodka Kick’ - Scissors kick. Can be done off the second rope if the situation allows. NOTES: -She’s trained… sort of. Her brother certainly had a hand in her training, and we all know how much he knew about the finer points of technical wrestling, so how good he’d be at passing it on is anyone’s guess. However… -She’s nuts. Not screaming, demented psychotic nuts, just your average, common-or-garden have-a-few-pints-and-start-on-someone nuts. Relative size, weights and strength don’t really matter to her, if she thinks you‘re looking at her funny, she‘ll have you. She bit half someone’s ear off once in a club, although admittedly it was after he’d headbutted her. No-one knows what she did to get headbutted in the first place. Feel free to ask, if you dare. -Damn those Stephens kids and their inferiority complexes. Toxxic had to prove to everyone that he was the best wrestler in the company; Amy originally got offered a ‘Diva’ contract by Peters, and now feels that she has to prove she belongs in the ring. BIO: Amy Stephens had Toxxic as an older brother, and that pretty much tells you all you need to know about her childhood, and why she’s turned out quite so cheerfully violent. Although hardly unintelligent she lagged behind her brother at school, and perhaps her envy/dislike of him is why she ended up going in a different direction. Toxxic went straight-edge, went to the gym and took out his aggression by learning to wrestle; Amy got slaughtered as often as possible, went out clubbing and took out her aggression by starting fights with anyone in the vicinity. After her brother started hitting the big time and sending home large amounts of money for the family their relationship improved somewhat as she respected the validity of his choices, but then things changed again. Toxxic left the SWF after Ground Zero ‘05 to come back and live in Nottingham. Amy had started to get some wrestling training and Toxxic added to it, along with a bit of advice on playing politics. However, one autumn morning he just… disappeared. With no contact from their son Amy’s parents got rather alarmed despite their belief that he could take care of himself, and finally Amy, newly turned 21, headed off to try and find him. The most obvious port of call was the SWF, but Joseph Peters denied all knowledge. Amy travelled across America looking for any rumour of her brother but found nothing, and eventually had to start wrestling in order to make enough money to continue her search. Now she’s come back to the SWF, aware that Joe Peters sees dollar signs in her relationship to a former World Champion, and she’s determined to get enough money out of him to continue her search once her six month contract is up. Now Toxxic is back, using his real name, and the reunion was (relatively) painless. However, in the lead-up to it Amy got involved with Landon Maddix in all the wrong ways and is still reaping the rewards of that…

As long as you're not going on the Fictional World Tour. Cos that'd just be wack.