The Mandarin

"The Desert Stormer" Jerry: "You know JR, once he hits the Suicide Bomber, he gets to deflower many virgins! How cool is that? Puppies!"

Do the Right Thing, Maven. Mo' Better Blues, Maven. Jungle Fever, Maven. Malcom X, Maven. He Got Game, Maven. Summer of Sam (he did that one? Woah.), Maven. Bamboozled, Maven.

WTF? No Snitsky?

Oh, go eat some curry.

BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU WON'T BUY HIS BEEF PATTIES.

HOLY SHIT YES YES YES YES YES

Triple H: "Mike's out." Shane: "What page is he?" H: "Uh..try six." Shane: "Wait..nope. Nope, he's on four. Where's the red pen?"

We're running down on time. OHMIGOD. Does this mean Arabs.. AND Snitsky in the same segment? Someone get me the Scanners gif.

Shit, I hate Raw now.

PPS- Someone set up a Proboards forum for OAO Raw Thread backups, and general retardics.

Damnit, I was JUST about to comment on Edge's "YAY~!" directed at Chris Benoit. It was hysterical. PS- Greatest Raw since Rock/Eugene promo. It's been excellent so far, and this is MAVEN'S night.

Randy: Boy, Maven, am I glad I found you. Time for a message from Concerned Parents! *jingle* DON'TCHA PUT IT IN YER' MOUTH! *dont'cha put it in yer' mouth* DON'TCHA STUFF IT IN YER' FACE!

..Kent Brockman

JERRY: I THINK HE WAS TRYING TO GET A CHEAPSO OUT ON YOU.

JERRY: OH, LOOK AT COLE.

You guys want closed captioning goodness? I'll keep an eye out for the next "Smaffles" or "goirk".

Who are you, sweetie?

I AM MARKING OUT WITHOUT ASTERISKS

PREVIOUSLY, ON RAW. Garrison Cade: Yeah, my dad works here at this there car dealership now. Benoit: Who's that man your dad is kissing? *Benoit and Benjamin look at eachother in puzzlement. Garrison has a shocked look on his face* Garrison: Dad? Pat Patterson: Lance?! Oh no. Brooklyn Brawler: Jesus Christ.

Mindy: "Okay, I love you, bye bye!" *marks* Now if somebody had have made a Good Thing, Bad Thing reference or eluded to CHICKEN F'n BOO, I would have gone into cardiac arrest.

Jihad-- the struggle from within. I would have posted this in CE, but then they would have bombarded the thread with mean-spirited candy fluff pictures.

Raw Smackdown Post their thumbnail picture.

Lillian: Mari--uh, Stacy, just tell me what you're feeling. Stacy: You want to know how I'm feeling? Huh? Do you? Arrrrrrrrgggggghhhh! Arrrrrggghhhh!

Benoit: A'right. Wrestling roll call. Chris Benoit. FOR REAL. Benjamin: C'mon, now, whaddya doin'. There's just the two of u-- Benoit: Shhh. Say your name. Benjamin: *sigh* Mister Benjam'n. Benoit: Alright, now that we're done roll call, today's topic-- spandex. Yay or nay? Cool Kid Christian: Hey peeps. Is this the wrestling club meeting? Benoit: Uh--uh, yeah.

Was "Du Hast" on the list? Don't tell me that was metal. The ending was a cell phone ringtone sample.