The Mandarin

Meh, I thought Matt's acting was fine, actually. Lita, on the other hand... I don't think I've seen worst fake crying in my life. Hell, even Trish's crying when she found out about the bet was better. Even Mean Gene's crying when he met the Gobbledy Gooker was better. ..wait, I think I was the one crying.

Everybody saw it coming from miles away. But what happens now? Where do you expect them to go with this? Think of all the possible vignettes this could lead to. Lita in a pregnancy class with Kane watching through the window? Kane and Lita shopping for a crib at Babies 'R Us? Kane coming home to find Lita eating three boxes of ice cream a day? WHAT. WILL. HAPPEN?

BAHAHAHAH Triple H's laughing was exactly like Ray Liotta's in Goodfellas.

Too bad Kane didn't come out wearing a red wig and Hot Topic clothes. Matt would have never been able to tell! Kane in high-pitched voice: "Oh, Matt, what does this all mean?" Matt: "Lita, will you--" Kane in deep devil voice: "THE ANSWER IS NO." *Kane boots him in the face*

These new Matt Facts are more of an abortion than the thing Lita's carrying.

When he opened the box, it should have let off a bright gold glow and nobody should have been able to see in it. And Kane should wear a band-aid on the back of his head.

Y'know, if you think about it, Drury saying "Thanks" is no different from the signatures that everybody else uses. Of course, you have the option to turn sigs off.

The Rock. 30 minutes of him. Big Dave!

My TV was muted--are JR and King that stupid? To their credit, they only have small monitors to look in. ..and they're partially blind.

..Alexis Laree?

My closed captioning interpreted one of the sentences as "..past Junkyard Dog and straight into KING KONG BEHINDY."

If Orton fought Rock and Eugene fought Flair at SummerSlam, I would be gleeful.

Eugene sucks? SWANK Orton~!

Don't get your hopes up. They're not going to get someone new to face Styles on this short notice. It's gonna be Kazarian or another bland wrestler.

They should give Eugene to Orton instead. Randy Orton-- from Legend Killer to Forrest Gump Killer

Who has done this? Everybody on these forums have either shit all over Flair, or acknowledged that now he's just a comedy act.

That sounds hilarious.

Of course Shawn's gonna get him a job now.

Pff, you think that's good? Check out MY CAR.

I hope for Kurt's sake that he doesn't do SummerSlam. I don't want him to cripple himself even more.

One thing though-- Can Orton save this from turning into the Jericho/RVD/Christian IC Title debacle from Unforgiven 2003 that was one of the biggest crowd killing matches I've ever seen? Even Meltzer fell asleep during that one.

I'll be happy with whatever I get, but that could use some tweaking. Wait, at first you said RVD was gonna face Angle. Now it's Cena? Huh? I should be listening to the Observer right now. *clicks* Anyways, why not: Benoit/HHH, Michaels/Kane, Orton/Eugene, Eddie/Angle, Flair/Edge, Rey/Chavo, La Resistance/Benjamin/Tajiri, Undertaker/Cena and Dudleyz off the card completely or against London/Kidman. Batista/Val on Heat duty. Wait, isn't Big Show gonna be back soon? He should be on the card.

Oh, great, now how will I get my WWE shows?