TheBigSwigg

Thank you.

You know, I would've done better if you'd given me something other than retribution on Spiny. I had nothing to go on.

Wow guys, I got owned. Worse than I can ever do to WMD.

Okay, I'll admit, Red Hot Thumbsack is good, but at least change it back to Tack Monkey, that Funky Monkey. Please?

Okay, who was the wiseguy that change my name to Red Hot Thumbsack in the Ass? I was okay with Tack Monkey, but HOLY CRAP!?!?! Do you know how long it took me to log in? Somebody fix me!!!!

Spiny goes for a ride.... ON MY HOOD!!!! (How's that?)

TheBigSwigg here, Sorry to resurrect the thread, but I would like to note that my name will soon be changing to "Tack Monkey, that Funky Monkey" as per my agreement with Red Hot Thumbtack in the Eye. Thank you, and goodnight.

Scratch myself?

How about Red Hot Thumbtack in TheBigSwigg?

How was that?

Hi, my name is Spiny Norman!

I'm learning, give me a break. Or a kit-kat. I'd really like a kit-kat. really.

You misspelled confusion. I thought my standards were low before.

Someone's a little bit impatient, aren't they? I hope I haven't fucked myself over with this.....

Yeah, I post mostly from school and soon from my apartment complex's "Business Center." Ass isn't necessarily what I want people to think of when they see me.

I agree. I think that's one of the best things about this weeks Impact.

Holy crap. I was wondering why I haven't seen him in a while, and I'm kinda proud of him for that. He just jumped up on my list of favorite wrestlers outside of the ring. Okay, I never had a list like that before, but I'm making it now.

Actually, I would prefer not to have ass in my signature, that's all.

I think he's given PBP's a bad name...

Looks like someone has sand in their vagina.

So basically, you're telling me that I have to mimic everything about you? I have to use the same pictures, the same links, while keeping my own member name? Do I have to use the same pictures in my signature, or can I change them to suit my own personality. Inquiring mind...or half of one, wants to know...

Okay. YOU'RE my hero. *Waits for things to go my way*

Thanks...... but No

Is it too late for me NOT to call UJM my hero? I would like to replace him with Spiny, Kahran or Agent.

Ok, now that I've seen the whole thing, here's some thoughts: 1) I can't EVER hear the intro music because their audio mix is terrible and Tenay won't shut the fuck up. This is a problem because I can't tell who's coming out until they're out. Not as much of a problem for the live crowd, but when I need to piss, I'd rather not wait to see Jobber X take on Monty Brown. Which reminds me, DON'T BRING JOBBERS OUT TO MUSIC. It confuses new fans. Do like WWE, and have them waiting in the ring while YOUR STARS come out to music. 2) They need to give up on the Pyro, it looks like the pansy-ass fireworks you buy for little kids to shut them up. 3) Team Mexico should be renamed Team Send Us Back to Mexico. If I have to watch Aguila and Abismo Negro in "Night of the blown spots" instead of maybe seeing Hector Garza, who was fairly good, then I'm really pissed off. 4) Why is there no TNA logo ANYWHERE in the "Impact Zone?" Wouldn't you kind of want that? You know, brand awareness isn't a bad thing. My cousin didn't know it was Total Nonstop Action Wrestling Impact. He's 10 and he swears it's Impact Wrestling. Not TNA, just IMPACT wrestling. -The matches were ok, but nothing really worthwhile. I was pissed off that there were THREE FUCKING SQUASHES. THIS IS NOT XPLOSION!!!! How I would have booked it: Recap the PPV, and open the show FIRST MATCH: XXX d. Team Canada(Bobby Rude and Petey Williams) -I know, Team Canada(TC) is on every week. There's a reason I chose them. At the moment, Christopher Daniels and Elix Skipper are considered X-Division, and no matter what we say marks will always see this as a cruiserweight division. Have Tenay pimp the tag title match Wednesday night, and the fact that AMW is taking on Team Canada. Mention that both the teams involved in the Cage match aren't at Impact because they're recovering. In the match, have Skipper and Williams start off, and then bring in Bobby Rude. Bobby Rude is the "powerhouse" of Team Canada. Emphasize that his size and power gives him an advantage over teams they've fought in the past. Have him demonstrate said power on Skipper. Then bring in Daniels. Other than putting over both teams, the secondary purpose of this match is to emphasize that Daniels has Heavyweight possibilities. Have him and Rude go back and forth with power moves, and eventually have Coach D'Amore try to cheat, and Primetime catch him in the act. Thus Canada loses their "edge" that's given them victory before. Allow TC to get some near falls, showing that they have the ability to win without D'Amore's interference. Eventually give the win to XXX, though. However you see fit. BRIEF SEGMENT: Sonjay speaks for Sabu, welcoming Raven back. "Long time no see" type of promo, in which Sonjay says that Sabu thinks Raven is afraid of him. Is Raven afraid of Sabu??? Raven who held the ECW title? Raven who delivered the "Chairshot heard around the world?" Raven, who went toe to toe with the Sandman surrounded by Barbed Wire? No, Raven's not scared, because he's not Raven anymore. He's just a man who won't give up the fact that he's washed up and worthless....... Second Match: Kazarian d. Jerelle Clark -Since Clark was there, we'll use him. The match should be about Kazarian. Put over his high flying ability, how he claims to be the "future." Don't squash Clark, but allow him to work. Let Kazarian always be one step ahead of him, though. This shows how skilled and "experienced" that Kazarian is. Make him look good for Ultimate X. Afterwards, have Shane AND Styles come out onto the entranceway. THREE WAY STAREDOWN!!!! BRIEF SEGMENT: AMW are backstage, and they have nothing but praise for The Naturals. The Naturals went the distance in the cage, and AMW want to thank them for pushing AMW to the limits. But Team Canada, what you did was despicable. TC ruined what could've been the match of the year, and the match of a lifetime for AMW AND The Naturals. For that, TC will pay Wednesday night. THIRD MATCH: Alex Shelley d. Shark Boy -Ok, it's not quite the best, but bill it as a "Preview" of what's coming up Wednesday night. This shows that Shark Boy can keep up with Shelley, and allows us to see how the two work together. Have Goldilocks at ringside fawning over Shelley, and D-Ray cheering on SharkBoy. Show Abyss sitting backstage watching the match. Shelley goes over cleanly after Goldilocks gets D-Ray's attention, and thus Sharkboy's. BRIEF SEGMENT: Interview with Shelley and Goldilocks. Have Goldilocks put Shelley over. Douglas asks Goldilocks about Abyss, and she tells us that she told Abyss to stay backstage, because her Baby Bear could handle SharkBoy by himself. SEEDS OF DISSENT!!!!! FOURTH MATCH: Monty Brown d. Raven. -The reason I say Monty vs. Raven is this: MONTY NEEDS NOT TO SQUASH PEOPLE. Monty could use a little bit of seasoning, and I think Raven is a good teacher. Have the two brawling, as that would be interesting, and have Raven's skill and experience getting him the upperhand. Let the two use their moveset, and let Raven make Monty Brown look good. Then have the classic TNA surprise move. That's right, have the lights go out. Not really, but that's what they would do. Have Sabu show up. Whether on the entranceway, or have the lights come out and he shows up in the ring. Whatever happens, it catches Raven's attention long enough for Brown to get the POOOOOOOOOOOUNCE~! and the win. I know, I know, I'm jobbing Raven to the Alpha Male. But think about it. Brown gets a clean pin on Raven. That's some credibility. It also builds up my storyline of Raven being "afraid" of Sabu. It helps Monty Brown look good going into Wednesday night, and builds tension for Raven-Sabu. BRIEF SEGMENT: D-Ray is backstage, and he's trying to pump up former Referee Mike Posey for his match Wednesday night. He reminds Posey that just because David Young has lost 86 straight matches that it doesn't mean he's going to be an easy win, especially for a former referee. Allow some light humor. Seriously, this is about all you can do for this shitty angle. FINAL MATCH: Jeff Hardy d. Johnny Swinger -Other than being a reason to see Johnny Swinger play with his coconut bra, this should help debut Jeff Hardy, and hopefully make him look good for Wednesday night. Have Swinger worried about his coconut bra, have Gilbertti at Ringside trying to cheat, and Hardy still pulling ahead. Have Hardy get the win, and then let Jarrett come out. Have Hardy and Jarrett talk smack, before Brown comes out. Let Jarrett get the shiznit knocked out of him by both men. This would include a Pounce and a Swanton Bomb. THEN let Brown turn on Hardy when Hardy forgets that they're not friends. THAT IS MY IMPACT, BIOTCHES!! FEAR MY FANTASY BOOKING OF SORTS!!!!