Creed Bratton, The Office
Creed: [talking about Dwight pepper spraying Roy] I remember it was very late at night, like 11, 11.30. Big fella comes in screaming about God knows what; I think maybe Halpert had stolen his car, something like that. So the big fella pulls out a sock filled with nickels, then Schrute grabs a can of hair spray and a lighter...
Angela: -you're useless
Hannah: Look what's on his computer!
Michael Scott: What is that? A squid’s eye or...
Hannah: It's my left breast.
Michael Scott: How did you...
Creed: Right place at the right time.
Creed Bratton: Today is actually my birthday and I want to pick the cake.
Jim Halpert: What do you want?
Creed Bratton: I want pie, I want peach pie.
Jim Halpert: Well birthday pie.
Creed Bratton: I want a nice cobbler.
Jim Halpert: Well, I'm gonna talk to Angela and we're gonna see what we can do about a pie.
Creed Bratton: I don't care who you talk to you just make it happen.
Jim Halpert: It'll be Angela.
Creed Bratton: Tell her it's for Creed; she'll know what that means.