vivalaultra

And that's exactly what role I was saying he should have. He should be batting 2nd, behind Chris Burke and before Berkman. All I know is that he's a good #2 hitter. He makes contact and doesn't strike out alot. He doesn't have to have a 1.000 OPS to do that. He's not gonna bat clean-up, and if he does bat clean-up, that means that the Astros are dead last in the division and Brad Ausmus is seeing time at shortstop. Edit: Looking at the thing, I see that I didn't type correctly. I meant to say that Mark Loretta is a very good #2 hitter.

I just caught this on a second read through. Loretta is not a very good hitter nor is he even a good or average hitter. He's below average and he's lucky he found a team that was willing to pick him up. And don't get fooled by his lack of errors in the field either because he's not very good defensively. What's not good about him? The fact that he has a career .299 average, the fact that he hasn't hit below .280 in 10 years, his 1.2/1 K/BB rate, his 33 doubles last year? I mean...come on...dude did get 181 hits last year. And he doesn't have to be sparkling defensively. Biggio isn't Bill Mazeroski with the glove at 2B anymore, but he's been fine riding on the coattails of Adam Everett and his ungodly range the last few years.

My friend Mike's parents had the Pope and this picture of Jesus that was one of those pictures that was actually made up of a bunch of little pictures. This picture of Jesus was a closeup of his face after the Resurrection made up of little pictures of him bloody on the cross. I once counted about 85 crucifixes in their house. Catholics love crucifixes.

Can we all at least agree that Catholics are better than Scientologists? As far as Ash Wednesday, when I was young and I lived in So. Louisiana, there was almost 100% Catholic penetration. Not being Catholic, I, for some time, felt some degree of sadness, if only because as a youth and being exposed to varying degrees of Catholicism, I was somewhat led to believe that the only way to get close to God was to put ashes on your head and go to confession and give up meat or alcohol or such. The Catholocisim down there ran deep. Catholic parenting was interesting. I remember hearing stories from friends in elementary school where, for punishment, their parents made them kneel in the corner on uncooked rice for varying degrees of time. I also found it strange that Mardi Gras, quite possibly the largest collection of drunkeness and reckless abandon, was celebrated by the Catholics as a religious holiday but celebrated by drunkeness and reckless abandon. I think the only reason these days for Lent, at least in my old homestate, are so all the coonasses can have crawfish boils every nite of the week. Another fun Catholicism story: When I was about 14, my friend Mike was taking part in the Catholic ritual of Confirmation. He invited me to go, and, not being a Catholic, I kept forgetting what the ceremony was called and a couple of times, absentmindedly told people that I was going to watch my friend Mike get Circumsized.

Straight up. Let's do the NL Central tomorrow. I've got some interesting perspectives on the Astros.

Ya know, it's not fair that we keep talking about the Astros and the rest of the NL Central. They already get enough hype and media coverage as it is. To be fair, I think we should concentrate on some of the smaller-market teams. I'll get us started. So, what does everybody think about Curt Schilling saying that he's going to be a FA in 2008? Seriously, can someone call Jimmy Carter and get him to mediate between A-Rod and Derek Jeter so the Yankees can get back to doing what they do best-narrowly missing out on winning the World Series despite having a payroll that could feed a small African country for the next two millenia?

Jason Marquis limited statline at Wrigley 'Stadium'-20 IP/25H/6BB/12K/6HR/5.40 ERA. Not exactly enough to base anything on, but still, not good. Not as bad as Jason Jennings' career line at MMP, but, as an Astros' fan, I willingly ignore that statistic. As far as the five players in the Astros' lineup that hit below .250: 1. Morgan Ensberg .235-I'm inclined to think that this is an aberration, as it's .35 below Ensberg's career avg. of .270. The fact that he took 101 walks and hit 23 HRs shows that he still has a good eye, so I have confidence that he'll fall somewhere closer to his career average next season. 2. Craig Biggio .246-It's hard to think that Bidge will pick his average up dramatically next season, as he's declined in average significantly over the last few years, but, he's typically been a strong starter and will hopefully get his 3000 hit by late June/early July and take a back-up role to Mark Loretta, who, as everyone knows is a very good hitter. 3. Adam Everett .239-Yeah, that's about in line with his career average, but, he's a wizard with the glove. And if people like Ensberg were hitting like they should, nobody would care that Everett hit less than Carlos Lee's weight. 4. Brad Ausmus .230-He...handles the pitching staff pretty good. Supposedly, one of the offseason goals was to upgrade catcher, but, that didn't happen. Either way, this will be Ausmus' last season and from everything I hear, he'll be playing alot less. 5. Jason Lane .201-Couldn't hit his way out of a wet paper bag. I doubt he even makes the team. In any regard, having Everett, Ausmus, and the pitcher at the bottom of the order ain't helping nobody. I was hoping that they would bat Everett 2nd and move Burke or Biggio down to the 7 spot, but that's not going to happen, and hitting Burke 2nd in front of Berkman will help both he and my fantasy team (sleeper, yo!). Edit: re: sfajack-Pfft. Like I'm gonna let little things like inconsistancies and details get in the way of my vast homerism and fanboyitis!

The Cubs are the Cubs and until they stop being the Cubs they won't win anything. You could spot them a 15-game lead at the ASB, and they'd end up in 4th place. In all seriousness, I think they'll be improved with Soriano, but outside of he and A-Ram and dependent on how Derrek Lee regresses to the mean after a great 2005 and a lost 2006, I don't think their offense is anything to write home about. After Zambrano, their pitching is spectacularly average dependent on how Rich Hill does. I wouldn't be surprised to see Ted Lilly and Jason Marquis combine to give up more HRs than Soriano and A-Ram combine for. If Ryan Dempster closes like he closes last year, hopefully Lou has sense enough to give the ball to Howry or Wood, but can Kerry Wood stay healthy and away from jacuzzis? The other guys in the bullpen are solid to good, but I heard that Michael Wuertz might not make the team. I don't see them going from worst to first, but I could see them winning 80-85 games.

I'm not predicting killer years for the Cards of the Cubs and I'm not counting the Astros out. But if I'm making predictions, I don't just go with a gut feeling. I try to figure out what is likely to happen given the current rosters. To me, the Astros look like a fourth place team. It's nothing personal. Well to me you look like a poopy-head! Nah, it's cool. Half the fun of baseball is arguing with knuckleheads. The other half is gambling. And the other half is the games themselves.

Another thought about the classic teams v. the modern teams. Are the classic teams programmed to play the 'old style' of ball, specifically meaning, for instance, since the '27 Yankees had a 9-man pitching staff and the least number of complete games thrown was 9 by George Pipgras, does the simulator recognize stuff like that and not go to the 'pen or whatnot as often whereas for the modern teams, there's a 6th inning guy, 7th inning guy, 8th inning guy, and then closer?

Wow. Three 'Stros teams in the 2nd round. Out of the '98 team, the '04 team, and the '86 team at least one of them should win their series. Probably not the '04 team, cuz I mean...they're going against the freakin' 1927 Yankees. The '86 'Stros and the '46 Sox should be interesting, and I'm quite confident in the 1998 Astros' chances against the 1997 Orioles...as long as Kevin Brown doesn't sneak into the rotation wearing a Rick Krivda mask.

You're my dawg, Harley Quinn! I like how everybody's predicting killer years for the Cards and the Cubs except the resident Cards fan (MiB) and the resident Cubs fan (Czech).

I don't think Carlos Lee is as defensively challenged as some of you would suggest. And it's not just the wins that he's worth, it's the wins that all of the players batting around him who become instantly better by his presence in the lineup are worth. The Astros aren't banking their season the backs of Oswalt and Berkman. I'm pretty sure they know what they're going to get out of those two. If anything, they're banking their season on the backs of Ensberg, Burke, and some of the young pitchers who have potential (Brewer-like potential). Pettitte pitched 214 innings last season, 100 of which were good innings, the other 114 of which were innings of 5 ERA ball. I think Jennings can do better than that, and, if Clemens comes back (and I have reason to think that he will), everything's all good. If he doesn't, well, it's a dogfight with the Cardinals again. Call it wild-eyed optimism, but if the Astros finish lower than 2nd place, I'll be damn surprised. In other news, so...did anybody read that interview with Jeter where he said that he 'supports' A-Rod? Let's talk about that instead of the Astros.

So...everybody assumes that all the question marks surrounding every team in the NLC besides the Astros are going to be answered positively? I agree that if the Cardinals do something at the back of thier rotation (by back, I mean spots 2-5), and Jim Edmonds and Scott Rolen and Izzy are healthy all year and are productive all year, they've got a good shot to win the division, but I don't see all of that happening to be any more likely than the Astros shoring up their rotation and Ensberg and either Luke Scott/Jason Lane/Hidalgo having productive years. It's not like every player on every team in the Central besides the Astros is going to be a worldbeater and every player on the Astros is going to bomb horrifically. Fernando Nieve will win more games this season than either Kip Wells, Mark Mulder, Jason Marquis, or Mark Prior/Wade Miller. Believe that, yo. I'm already getting grey hairs from having to defend my team...and the season don't start for another month and a half. I'm going into hibernation. Wake me on April 2. And there will be room on the bandwagon for everyone when the Astros lead the division by 10 games going into the ASB. And it's before noon in Houston, so that's not the alcohol talking.

Wild-eyed optimism? Pshaw! I'm a realist, my man. Any team with Roy Oswalt, Lance Berkman, and Carlos Lee isn't going to be battling for fourth place. The Cubs are the Cubs. The Brewers have potential, but they're still a dark horse. It'll be the 'Stros and the Cards battling it out at the end of the season like always.

I hope so. I'm itching to type a super-long extended piece on the Astros that no one will ever read...or just copy and paste that one I already wrote in the other thread that nobody probably read.

AY MANG FUCK JOO MANG WE PLAY BEISBOL THE RYE WAY BY BUNTING AND TROWING BASEBALLS AT JOO AN CALLING WRITERS FUCKING FAGGOTS But in all seriousness, the White Sox have never won anything because of bunting. It's been pitching and home runs. They lost the pitching last year, they lost games. I would fall apart laughing if Jim Thome came up in the 7th inning, runners on 1st and 2nd, no outs, down by a run, and he held his bat dramatically towards the pitcher for five minutes whilst Hawk is in the background doing his "Come on Jimmy. Come on Jimmy. Knock it out, Jimmy. Yeah, Jimmy! Sox rule! Go Jimmy!!" routine only for Thome to drop down a bunt to move the runners over. Earl Weaver would spin in his grave...if he were in a grave, that is.

I just realized that, had he not been murdered, today (Feb. 20th) would have been Kurt Cobain's 40th birthday. Without regard to the quality of his music, the man was and is a cultural icon, for better or worse, and it makes me feel old that I still have and wear my Nirvana shirt from 5th grade that talks about how seahorses reproduce on the back of it. Wherever did the last 13 years go?

He doesn't use a litter box. He's been urinating in nature for the better part of the last 8 or 9 years. It's weird that I'm sure this isn't the first time he's done this; he went straight to the bathroom and jumped right up on the toilet like he'd been doing it for years, but this is the first I've ever seen him do it.

Very true...but I have thumbs and I don't...always...flush. Now I've said too much.

So, I have a cat. He's black and his name is Spunky and he's 10 years old (give or take). He's mostly a tomcat, hanging out outside for long periods of the day, and he sleeps alot. Anyway, I just let him inside my house to sleep up in my bed with me. I go to get a towel to take a shower, and I walk into my bathroom to see Spunky hovering over the toilet bowl, seat raised. I think he's on there to try and get at something on the shelves above the toilet, but I when I go to lift him off, he starts taking a piss...right into the bowl like nobody's business. Now, I've heard tell of cats being potty trained before, but I thought that they would have to be rigorously trained. I never trained my cat to do that. I don't think my cat's ever been in the bathroom when I've used the toilet. I have no idea where he got this notion from. Does anybody have a cat that just...uses the toilet? Does it mean that he smelled pee in my bathroom and figured it out from there, and, thus, I should clean my toilet more often? Would it only be impressive if he flushed, too?

In regards to the Astros' pitching taking a big step back, at the start of the 06 season, the staff consisted of Roy Oswalt, Andy Pettitte, Wandy Rodriguez, Taylor Buchholz, and Brandon Backe. Oswalt was Oswalt, Pettitte was ass up until the ASB. Wandy went 4-0 with a 2.3 ERA to start the season. Buchholz was hot and cold. Backe made 2 or 3 starts and went on the DL. Roger Clemens wasn't in the rotation until June 22nd. Basically, to start the 07 season, there's only been a trade-off of Pettitte for Jennings (I believe Jennings will outperform Pettitte.), Backe for Woody Williams (Woody's a better pitcher than Backe.), and Buchholz for either Albers, Sampson, or Nieve (Either one of those options will probably be better than Buchholz was last season.). Wandy Rodriguez has the potential to be shitty or revert back to his excellent April and May of last season. Based on the rotations heading into the season, I really don't see how this staff is a big step back from the rotation that began the 06 season. Sure, Jennings would be better as a #3 than a #2 and Woody would be better as a #4 than a #3, but still... The Cardinals' rotation or the Cubs' rotation isn't on paper anything superior to Houston. If the pitching regressed this offseason, I think the increase in offense made up for it. As far as the OF defense, it's not gonna be pretty, but it'll be serviceable enough. Carlos Lee won't be a gazelle in left or anything, but he won't be terrible. He made 6 errors each of the last two seasons and, remember, in 2004 he made no errors in 148 games with 11 assists. As far as his mobility, he's stolen 96 bases in 8 seasons, including 19 of 21 last season. Luke Scott should be a left fielder, but he'll be ok in right, I think. He gets decent jumps and hopefully won't embarrass himself. Chris Burke's looked really good the several games he's played in center. He has less speed than Willy Taveras for sure, but his range and the jumps that he get will make up for that somewhat, and, even though he doesn't have a cannon, I think his arm's good enough. I don't think it's going to be anything you'd want to put on a "How to Play Outfield" instructional video, but I don't think it'll be the 2000 A's as a certain foxsports.com writer would suggest. And never discount the clutchness of the 'Stros. 35-10 down the stretch in 2004. 15 games under to the NL pennant in 2005. 7 1/2 games back to 1 game back the last two weeks of the season in 2006. Who knows what'll happen?

Well, I certainly don't agree with that...and I'm not sure why they suck. I mean, the Nationals suck. The Pirates suck. The Royals suck. Certainly the Astros aren't equivalent to any of those teams, huh?

Even though I'm the resident Astros' homer, I'm picking them to finish no less than third in the division w/o Clemens, more likely second w/o Clemens, and to win the division in a cakewalk w/ Clemens. I don't see how the pitching will be much worse this year. Roy O is still Roy O. Jennings had better numbers last season than Pettitte and there's good reason to think that he'll be better than Pettitte this season (entering his contract season, pitching in his home state, pitching for a competitive team for the first time, approaching the thousand inning mark, etc.). Woody Williams isn't going to put up "blow-away" numbers, but he's always been solid and has shown that he can pitch effectively at Minute Maid Park (He's #1 in wins for an opposing pitcher at MMP with 9. And his career ERA there is just a little north of 3). Among the candidates for the 4th and 5th rotation spots are Fernando Nieve, who put up very solid numbers last season in both starting and relieving, Chris Sampson, who put up excellent numbers last season, albeit in 39 innings...still, projected out over a full season, those numbers translate very well, Matt Albers, who's kinda a wildcard-he has excellent stuff, but only pitched 15 innings; still as a #5, he'd be nothing less than league average, and...Wandy Rodriguez (God help us all). As far as the 'pen, whomever doesn't get the 4 and 5 spots is going in the pen. In addition to them are Dave Borkowski, who did a nice job as the longman, Trever Miller, who was shitty for a couple months, but came back to be nothing less than spectacular, posting a 3.02 ERA and a 56/13 K/BB rate in 50 innings, probably the rule 5 pick from the Cubs', Lincoln Holdzkom, who has stellar Minor League numbers and, by all accounts, excellent stuff, and the trio of Qualls (who has never been anything less than extremely solid), Dan Wheeler (who has, over the course of the last two and half seasons, been one of the top 5 setup men in the league) and Brad Lidge, who HAS to be better this season, as anything other than improvement would make him Troy Percival. So, I don't see how the pitching will be THAT much worse w/o Clemens, if worse at all. I think calling the offense marginally better is an understantment. Putting Carlos Lee in the #4 spot instantly makes the lineup 1-5 instantly better. Chris Burke will offensively outshine Willy Taveras tenfold, Biggio will get off to his usual hot start, get his 3000 hit sometime around the ASB and, hopefully, take a bench position. Lance Berkman's an All-Star and MVP candidate. Carlos Lee is an All-Star and slight MVP candidate and, as a right-handed pull hitter with power, should go absolutely bananas with the short porch in left. The bottom of the lineup with Everett, Ausmus, and the pitcher remain unchanged and should be, as per usual, not very good offensively. The two question marks that will determine whether the Astros' offense will just be above average or very, very good are Luke Scott and Morgan Ensberg. If Luke Scott hits like he did after his call-up last season, .336/.426/.621 in 214 ABs and Ensberg contributes more than a Barry Bonds-esque OBP (somewhere around 30 HRs and 85-90 RBI would work), the offense will be in the top five in the league easily. Also, the Astros have a very, very strong bench. The usual core of Mike Lamb and Orlando Palmiero have been among the best PHs in baseball the last two seasons and with the addition of Mark Loretta (who will hopefully take over at 2B after Biggio gets 3000) and probably Richard Hidalgo (who if he hits even anywhere as near as well as he did in the late 90s/early 2000s will be a vast improvement over Jason Lane and his .199 average last season. Even if Hidalgo hits like he did with the Rangers, he'll be an improvement.), the Astros bench has to be one of the top benches in baseball. Certainly, the Astros have question marks entering the season, but every team in the NL Central have as many, if not more, question marks. Will Rich Hill perform well? Will Ted Lilly and Jason Marquis give up more HRs at Wrigley than Soriano and Derrek Lee will hit? Will Isringhausen's hip fall out on the mound? Who's in the rotation for the Cards? Are Jim Edmonds and Scott Rolen going to get hurt...again? Will Ben Sheets get healthy? Will Rickie Weeks stay healthy? Will the Brewers' rookies be able to live up to the hype? Are Dave Weathers and Mike Stanton really going to close for the Reds? Who's going to pitch in spots 3-5 for Cincy? Will the Pirates go with an all left-handed starting rotation? Will they lose 100 games or just 95 games? The NLC's the weakest division in baseball, hands down. It's easy to look at some of the signings of the Cubs and pick them to win the division, but I just don't see that happening. The Cardinals haven't gotten better since last season; they've gotten worse. The Brewers have potential, but that's all they have until they prove something. The Reds have too many holes to be competitive and the Pirates are atrocious. The last three seasons, the Astros have been picked to finish 4th in the division or to completely fall apart or to bomb terribly or whatever else, but they haven't, and I certainly don't see that happening this season. As far as bold predictions.... Without Clemens: 84-78 at the worst With Clemens: 92-70 at the worst It's been far too long since I've posted at this magnitude.

I wonder if A-Rod will get his own ESPN reality show this season similar to Barry Bonds last season. They could call it "Rod on Rod".