Zack Malibu

Backstage, in The Underground locker room, The Superstar stands proud, the 24/7 Title draped over his shoulder. J. Arthur Edwards and Gunner Sharps, who came up on the short end of the stick earlier tonight. SUPERSTAR Hey guys, it's no sweat, we'll get 'em next time, right? J. ARTHUR What are you so happy about? SUPERSTAR Why am I happy? C'mon, you really have to ask? Look at what we accomplished Sunday night, baby! We had a hell of a match, and we kept the 24/7 Title in the family, now c'mon, tell me that isn't what we wanted all along. CHAVE Then what was with you afterwards? SUPERSTAR What was with me? What's with YOU asking what's with me? It was the heat of the moment, and believe me, I'm sure it wasn't anything that CWM couldn't handle. I mean, I'm fairly certain he's a tough guy, but as for leadership, that should go to the man with the gold, and that... Superstar stops short, feeling a presence behind him. He turns around to meet the cold stare of CWM. CWM You done? SUPERSTAR Done what? Rallying the troops? Instilling some team motivation? CWM Talking out of your ass is more like it. Superstar's smirk turns to a frown, and he inches closer to CWM, but their staredown is interrupted by the door bursting open, thanks to Northstar. NORTHSTAR Boys, boys, hate to be a party pooper, but some of us have work to do tonight. CWM What do you want, Tinkerbell? NORTHSTAR Ah ha, that's a kneeslapper. Is that any way to treat the man who booked you in a main event match? SUPERSTAR What? Why does he get one and the 24/7 Champ doesn't, huh? NORTHSTAR Keep your Speedos on, you've got one too. I've taken the liberty of enterting you both in the Tag Invitational. CWM No way. I'm not teaming with him. You can find another pair to match up. SUPERSTAR Says YOU. Where's your team spirit? CWM Oh, I've got spirit, you fuc... NORTHSTAR All right, ALL RIGHT! TNT requested three teams, and that's what they'll get. Plus, it seems like you two have some issues. So, in the interest of fairness, CWM, you will team up with...Chave Senate tonight. As for you, Mr. 24/7, go grab that steroid freak friend of yours for your partner. Good luck to you all. The door closes behind Northstar, leaving tensions to rise even higher in the Underground dressing room. Superstar and CWM stare at each other, before Superstar walks off, in search of his partner for later on, Mister Warrior. Cue: ‘TNT’ by AC/DC BOOM! Red, Green and Gold pyro explode as the NEW OAOAST tag Team Champions, Tyler Bridges and TJ Burns, known collectively as TNT, make there way down to ringside for their first title defense on HeldDown. The crowd drowns out their theme song with a chorus of boos, but the new champs couldn’t care less, because they’ve got the gold. ANNOUNCER: The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the OAOAST Tag Team Championship! Introducing, at a total combined weight of three hundred and eighty eight pounds, they are the NEW OAOAST Tag Team Champions, Tyler Bridges and TJ Burns, T-N-T!!!!! Cole: This is one of the first opportunities we have had to watch these two guys on HeldDown, and I must say, they will be tested in this match up, against a man who, along with Mad Matt, last night, was screwed out of the X Division Championship, and a former X Champ himself. Coach: Well at Deadly Games these two proved that they can hang in the OAOAST Tag Division, and I think they can come through tonight Michael. Cue: ‘Man in the Box’ by Alice in Chains The familiar riff of Tommy Dreamer’s old ECW theme fills the arena as the crowd gets ready for the entrance of ‘the Phenomenal One’. The singing starts up, and AJ appears to the delight of everyone in the arena, which is filled with cheers. AJ turns around so that everyone can see the back of his vet, which has the single word ‘Phenomenal’ on the back. He slaps some hands as he comes down the ramp, and then slides into the ring. ANNOUNCER: And the opponents. At a total combined weight of four hundred and fifteen pounds. First, hailing from wherever he pleases, he is The Phenomenal A-J FLAIRRREEE! Cole: AJ Flaire has really found his spot in the X Division, and, in my opinion, this kid could go on to do great things, if he applies himself and if he learns from his peers, like his tag team partner for tonight. If K Money could teach AJ a thing or two in the X Division, it would be vital to AJ’s growth as a wrestler. He just needs that extra advice from a man who has been to the top before. Coach: Right Michael, AJ Flaire has all the potential in the world, he just has to realise that potential, and then maybe, just maybe, he could be the X Champion someday. The Crowd gets restless for a man who they know all too well. A ‘Money, Money’ chant starts up, and they get ready for the cocky entrance of there hero. Cue: "Kick Start my Heart" by Motley Crue The crowd goes BANANA for K Money, the former X Division Champion. Money does his cocky strut down to ringside, reminiscent of Spanky, the man that trained him, and the man that was brutally attacked by Moneys brother Ragdoll just a few weeks ago. ANNOUNCER: And his partner, from Hollywood California, THIS. IS. K……………… MONEY!!!!!! Money slides into the ring next to his partner, and TNT slide in to get the match underway. AJ and TJ start off. They lock up, and AJ gets the side headlock. TJ pushes him into the ropes, and AJ comes back with a shoulder block. AJ runs the ropes, TJ ducks under, leapfrog by TJ, AJ runs at TJ but TJ does a backflip over AJ’s head! TJ poses to the crowd, showing off his high flying moves, but AJ catches him with a dropkick to the back of the head. Cole: Impressive backflip by TJ Burns there, but he took a little too much time gloating in his success, and AJ Flaire capitalised. TJ gets up and charges at AJ, and they lock up again. This time TJ gets the headlock, but AJ sends him into the ropes. AJ hits an armdrag takeover on TJ, and AJ holds onto the arm for an armringer. TJ rolls through and out of the armringer and the two stand at guard again. TJ shakes his arm to get feeling back into it. Cole: Armringer applied by AJ Flaire, working on that arm, that shoulder already, he’ll try and set TJ up for that Fujiwar armbar later in the matchup. TJ charges AJ and they work into the corner. The referee calls for a break, and TJ does so, but immediately kicks AJ in the gut. TJ hits a hard chop to the chest of AJ, and the crowd lets out a big ‘WHOO’. TJ lands another chop, and then a right hand to the face. TJ grabs the left arm of AJ and rolls it over into an armringer, TJ climbs up top still holding AJ’s arm, and they jumps onto AJ, hitting a Hurricanrana! Cole: Impressive move by TJ Burns there! Great hurricanrana from the top! TJ looks at AJ and AJ looks back at TJ, and they make there way to their respective corners to tag out, and catch their breath. Tyler Bridges and K Money are in the ring, ready to lock up. The two men meet in the centre of the ring and exchange some harsh words. Tyler backs off, but then hits K Money with a right hand to the face. K Money comes back with a right of his own. The two men exchange right hands, and K Money gets the advantage. Irish whip by Money is reversed by Tyler; but K Money hits a flying head scissors! Tyler is up quickly and he charges Money, catches Tyler with an armdrag, Tyler then hits an armdrag of his own, Money hits a Japanese armdrag, both men go for dropkicks, but they don’t get anything. Cole: Brilliant technical wrestling by all four of these men. It’s a great sight to see. Tyler hits a chop to the chest of K Money, but K Money responds with a chop of his own. Both men exchange hard chops that echo throughout the arena, and every one of these chops is followed by a loud ‘WHOO’ from the crowd. Tyler gets a thumb to the eye of K Money, and then hits a snap vertical suplex. Tyler rolls over into a cover… 1… 2.. NO. K money kicks out. Cole: First cover of the matchup by Tyler, but only a two. Irish whip y Tyler on K Money, Tyler hits a HARD powerslam into a cover. 1… 2… Money kicks out again. Tyler grabs Money in a side headlock from the ground, and Money raises his arms to try and fight out of it. Money gets to one knee, then both knees, then one leg, all the while Tyler is going up with him. Elbow to the gut of Tyler by Money, and another, Money runs to the ropes and runs toward Tyler, but Tyler ducks and lifts Money onto his shoulders, taking him down with a Samoan Drop. Tyler quickly tags in TJ, who goes straight to the top rope. Cole: Good teamwork by the Champions here, and TJ is going to try and showcase some of those high flying moves that he loves to show off. TJ turns around and hits a beautiful ‘Flying Drunk’ Spaceman Moonsault on Money! Coach: Great rotation on the Moonsault by TJ! It could be over here! 1… 2… NO! Money kicks out at 2 yet again. TJ grabs Money and pushes him over to the corner with his shoulder. Hard shoulders to the gut by TJ Burns, then TJ jumps up to the middle rope and sends Money flying with a Monkey Flip! TJ runs to the ropes, comes off towards Money, and hits a Flipping Senton Splash! 1… 2… NO! Money kicks out again at 2. Cole: Money really needs to turn the tables and make a tag here, it looks like he is in trouble. TJ takes Money over to the corner and hits another hard chop. But money comes straight back with a chop of his own! TJ fires a chop, but Money lands a right hand to the head of TJ! Both men exchange blows, Money goes for an Irish whip, TJ reverses, but Money springboards off the second rope and turns in mid air to deliver a hard clothesline! Cole: What a move by K Money! Great move! TJ uses the ropes to pull himself up, Money runs at TJ and launches his body towards him, but TJ pulls the top rope down and Money goes flying to the floor! TJ taps his head to the chagrin of the crowd. Coach: Dirty move there by TJ, but it was effective! TJ waits for Money to get to his feet, then TJ jumps to the top rope, springboards off and lands a Shooting Star Press! Cole: That was amazing by TJ! But look out! AJ Flaire is perched on the top rope with his back to TJ and Money, and AJ launches backward to hit a Moonsault plancha to the outside onto TJ Burns! Cole: My God! With AJ’s injured back, that is insane! Coach: That’s why he is an integral part of the X Division Michael Cole. AJ gets back up on the apron and K Money rolls back into the ring along with TJ Burns. Both men crawl to their respective corners to tag in their partners. Cole: Who can get there first? Whoever does will have the advantage, and maybe the Tag Titles! K Money and TJ both reach out… And they BOTH make the tag! AJ charges at Tyler and catches him with a clothesline. Tyler gets up and AJ hits him with a Spinning Heel Kick straight away. TJ runs at AJ but AJ catches TJ with a high dropkick to the face. AJ grabs Tyler, hooks him up, and gives him a vertical snap suplex. AJ holds on, and he gives Tyler a second vertical suplex. AJ holds on yet again, and delivers a third and final vertical suplex to Tyler Bridges. AJ heads to the top rope and measures Tyler. Tyler gets up slowly and turns around… And AJ Flaire hits him with a Top Rope Shining Wizard! Cole: He calls that move Elegance, and we can see why! AJ going for the cover! 1… 2… NO! Tyler gets a shoulder up! Tyler gets up to face AJ, AJ goes for a clothesline but Tyler ducks, and hits a Kopo Kick! Cole: Kopo Kick!!!! This could be over! 1… 2… 3… NOOOOOOO! AJ kicks out! Tyler picks AJ up and hits him with a hard crossover clothesline to knock him down again! Tyler signals for the end! Cole: He might be looking for the London Bridge! Tyler gets AJ in the Full Nelson position for the London Bridge, but AJ switches and goes behind Tyler, hitting him with a back suplex! Cole: Tyler landed right on his neck and shoulders there! AJ goes up top quickly and signals to the crowd, before hitting the Extra Special! Cole: EXTRA SPECAIL BY AJ! THIS IS OVER! 1… 2… 3… NOOOOOOOOOOO! TJ breaks up the count at the very last second! TJ Burns runs straight over to K Money and knocks him off of the apron! Cole: Now that’s not right! You can’t do that! TJ goes to the outside and shoves the timekeeper out of his chair. TJ grabs the chair and folds it up, throwing it into the ring. Cole: TJ’s got a chair! Watch out AJ! AJ picks Tyler up and sets him up for ‘That’s Phenomenal’. AJ starts to lift him up, but… CRACK! TJ smashes the steel chair hard into AJ’s still injured back! The referee calls for the bell! Cole: Dammit that isn’t right! We were robbed of a conclusive finish here! AJ turns around toward TJ, still writhing in pain from the first chairshot, and BAM! TJ hits AJ right across the face with the steel chair! Cole: That could have broken bones! Someone stop this! TJ brings up the chair for one more shot, but K MONEY slides into the ring and kicks TJ in the gut. Money grabs TJ’s head and runs up the ropes, hitting Sliced Bread #3 on TJ! Cole: SLICED BREAD NUMBER THREE! ‘ATTABOY K MONEY! Tyler tries to go after K Money, but K money kicks him in the gut, and positions him under the chair. K Money hooks the arms, and hits THE SHOW STOPPER on Tyler, right on the chair! Cole: The SHOW STOPPER! K Money is getting one back for AJ here! The Firm is alive and well on HeldDown! Cue: Kick Start my Heart" by Motley Crue ANNOUNCER: Here are your winners by Disqualification, the team of K Money and AJ Flaire, THE FIRM! Coach: The Firm has made its way to HeldDown, and they are taking no prisoners! They are standing tall! K Money slings AJ’s arm over his shoulder and helps his partner and newfound ally to the back. We see AJ’s has been busted open as a result of that chairshot by TJ Burns. Cole: I’ll tell you something right now Coach. If there is ever another meeting between these two teams, I know which one I am putting my money on, and that’s the one that we can see standing tall right now, K money and AJ Flaire. They have a common goal, a common objective here in the OAOAST, and that is to make it a safer and a better place for every wrestler on the roster. I think we have just seen the dawning of a new era here on HeldDown. AJ Flaire, you can’t keep the kid down. I guarantee that he will be back next week, fighting through the pain that he is experiencing. And K Money, the Show Stopper, well, he’s always here, he never quits, he doesn’t know the meaning of the word. And I know that K Money will stop at nothing to establish The Firm as the top entity in the OAOAST. I can promise you that much.

Cue to a local mental institution. Mad Matt is sitting on a chair in a straightjacket. Two uniformed men come into the room. Man #1:You know why you are here, sir. Matt:No I really don't. Would you please enlighten me as to why you broke into my house at 4 in the morning on Tuesday Morning, attacked me, injected me with tranquilizers, put me in a straightjacket, threw me in the back of a van, and took me here. Man #2:Someone from your place of work thought you might be mentally incompetent and you would not be able to perform your duties properly. Matt:Well then I guess you will have to commit half of the wrestlers in the lockeroom then. Man #1:Wrestling??? Don't you know all that shit is fake. Matt:Fake. Fake. I give you fu(bleep)ing fake. Is a broken leg fake. Are four concussions fake? Mad Matt gets up and kicks a wall before being forced back into a chair by the two men. Man #2:You wrestled with these injuries. Matt:That's right. Man #1:It says here that you wrestled with a serious concussion knowing full well that you could be brain dead if you got anymore damage. Matt:Correct. Man #2:You will be locked up for the evening. You will be evaluated tommorow to see if you are legally insane or not. (The scene fades, and when it reopens, we are back live, in the arena.) COLE What on Earth...Mad Matt is in a mental institution? COACH Nevermind that. Did you hear what they told him? Someone from his place of employment called. That means someone on this roster is a rat! Cole...we got some work to do! COLE You're serious about this detective work, aren't you? COACH You damn right. Just call me Coachjak. COLE Oh for the love of...fans, let's take you backstage, where new X Champion Sly Somers is standing by. (Cut backstage, where Sly Sommers, with X Title around his waist and forehead completely covered in bandages, looking much worse for the wear from his beating on Sunday, is trying to get a cup of water, when a young lady standing beside the table with the water container accidentally trips. Sly helps her up, and they both get puppy dog-like looks in their eyes when they look at each other in the face....) SLY: You okay there? FEMALE: Yeah, just had a little clumsy spell... SLY: Ah. Uh, (extends hand) my name’s...uh...Sly. FEMALE: (shakes his hand) Um...I’m Janet. SLY: Um...hi there, Janet. Uh, listen, uh.... JANET: Yeah? SLY: Uh...you want some water? JANET: Yeah, sure. SLY: Here, take mine. JANET: No, no, that’s okay. SLY: No, please, take mine. I can get another one. JANET: Okay. Thanks. SLY: No problem. JANET: Looks like you’re a bit banged up. SLY: Yeah, sort of got myself into a messy situation over the weekend. JANET: I can tell. SLY: (cell phone rings; he talks for ten seconds to someone)...Uh, listen, my buddies need me for something, I gotta go. Uh, you gonna be around in the future? JANET: Yeah, I’ll be around, sure. SLY: Okay, uh, it’s been a pleasure meeting you. JANET: Same here, definately. SLY: Okay, uh, bye.... JANET: Bye. (Sly slowly walks away, still facing Janet, almost in a transe, until he backs into someone. He turns around, and it’s St. Andrew’s Minions, Nathaniel and Michael.) SLY: Hey, guys! Listen, uh, thanks for the help on Sunday. Mucho appreciated! (Sly extends his hand to both of them, but both step to the side and point him forward.) Uh, listen.... MINIONS: GO! SLY: Okay, I’m going! (Sly walks forward, the Minions follow him) (Cut to commercial)

COACH What an opening contest. Major props to the new team of Rodez and Lyne. The tag division has been on a downward spiral as of late, but with fresh talent like that, it can only improve. COLE Agreed. Speaking of tag teams, we know about our main event Invitational matchup later on tonight, however we have no clue what Northstar has planned for who is even IN the damn thing. COACH It's called impulsive booking. COLE Really? I figured he fell asleep at the salon when he was getting his hair done and forgot to book the match. COACH You can THINK that, but don't say it out loud. He writes your checks, you know. COLE At any rate, we take you now backstage, as our General Manager has informed us a decision will be made shortly. Let's take you now to HeldDOWN~!'s man in charge, Northstar. (Zack Malibu is seen entering his locker room. As he opens the door he spots the OAOAST World champ and HD`! GM Northstar. Zack assumes a defensive position) Zack: What the hell are you two doing here? What's going on? Is this a set up? (Northstar gets up his chair and kisses Zack on the cheek. Zack wipes his cheek in disgust.) Northstar: A setup? Heavens no! It's simply an informal pow wow between myself, the OAOAST world champion and... Calvin: And a washed up primadonna. Northstar( shaking his finger at Calvin): Calvin, darling, that totally wasn't nice. I was going to say "and a valued member of the OAOAST family." Zack: Northstar, do me a favor and cut the lovey dovey bullshit. If you got something to say to me, then say it. Otherwise get lost and take your brown nosing lap dog with you. Calvin: Tsk Tsk. Why do you have to be such a disagreeable prick? Northstar, kind soul that he is, has time and time again extended his hand towards you out of friendship and respect. But because you're a miserable bottom feeding rich boy you show Northstar nothing but contempt and bitterest hatred. Shame on you, Malibu. Shame on you. Northstar, if I was you, I'd fire him. Northstar: I'm not firing anyone. Expect for the girl who did the highlights in my hair, I told her auburn, not burgundy. Anyway, I need to talk to both of you about tonight's show. Traditionally, shows after big pay per views are usually major letdowns. Nobody is sure who they want to fight and it's a bitch getting people to agree to a match. A lack of direction and a lack of matches can create for a pretty boring show. Calvin: I agree whole heartdlu. And it would be my pleasure to compete in a match tonight. Non title, of course. Zack: Figures. Calvin: What was that, airhead? Zack: It figures that you wouldn't put your title on the line, you sniveling, pillow humping, coward. Northstar: STOP!!!! Jesus tap dancing christ, why can't ya'll quit your petty bickering and listen to me for a second? Calvin, I'm glad you're willing to compete tonight, because I've entered you in the tag team invitational match. Calvin: Most excellent. I'll go tell Sly to get his working boots on. Northstar: Sugar, Sly is sooooo not your partner. Calvin: If not Sly, then who? Northstar (pointing to Zack): He is. (Zack's jaw nearly drops to the floor! Calvin kicks the wall out of anger!) Zack: You're kidding me? I'm not teaming with this sell out. Calvin: And, I refuse to tag with a mirror obsessed jerk off! The very sight of him makes my blood curl and my temper flare. If someone was to walk into this room and shoot this guy in the face, the only tears I would shed would be those of immense joy. Zack: The felling is mutual. Northstar, read my lips, I'm not going to be on the same team as Calvin Shitstien. Northstar: Well, Mr. Bush, if you and Calvin don't team up, you will both find yourselves out of a job. If you do chose to team up but fail to act as a cohesive unit, then you shall incur fines that will be no lower than but may exceed the amount $64,000. Calvin:...Northstar, let me the first to say, that I applaud your decision to pair Zack and I together for this tag team invitational match. The idea of putting two men who hate each others guts on the same team is one that has never been tried before and is an idea that will revolutionize the business. You, sir are a visionary. On that note, I bid you fine gentlemen farewell. (Calvin walks out of the room. The camera gets a shot of him frowning. Zack slams the door behind Calvin) Zack: Be straight with me here, what are you scheming? What wacked out idea have you come up with now? You've been on hanging off Calvin's nuts since the second he became champion so it doesn't make sense for you to book him in a match just days after the brutally violent Elimination Chamber. Unless, you have some sort of ulterior motive. What are you cooking, Northstar? What's your master plan? Northstar(staring off into space): Zack, you know who Babe Ruth is, correct? He was an ugly, pudgy little man from Baltimore who happened to dominate Major League Baseball for years. One has to ask themselves, how a man who makes Dusty Rhodes look like Marc Anthony could be one of the athletes of his era? The answer is rather simple, Babe Ruth transcended his limitations. History shows us that the most successful men are those who can transcend their limitations. The same should hold true for companies. Zack, I know Calvin's a grade A douche bag but if you think past your own petty grudge with him and look at a much bigger picture you'll see that this tag team invitational is paving the road that the OAOAST must travel in order to transcend it's limitations and become an entertainment conglomerate. Sweetie, where my predecessor, Tim Moysey sought to run a wrestling company, I look to build an empire that will rule the Mass Media world for years to come. Either you can inherit the earth with me, or you can be tossed aside with the rest of the deadwood, like your gal pal Crystal. It's your choice, darling. I hope you'll make the right one. (Northstar leaves the room, as we cut back to Sofa Central) COACH Did...did I get that right? Zack Malibu and Calvin...AS A TAG TEAM? COLE You know, Zack's right. Northstar has got to have a reason why he's trying to get these two to put their differences aside. First it was with The Underground, and while that's understandable, what is he up to? COACH He's not going to tell us, that's for sure. We're gonna have to be broadcast journalists! COLE Like those two guys who uncovered the Watergate Scandal? COACH I was thinking more along the lines of going undercover like Starsky and Hutch. COLE They were detectives, not journalists. COACH Well, we can be undercover journalists, okay smarty pants? COLE Fine Coach, whatever you say. Fans, we'll be back, right after this.

CUE: Money by Pink Floyd MICHAEL BUFFER Coming to the ring, at a combined weight of 535 pounds, representing UGW, the team of J. ARTHUR EDWARDS and GUNNER SHARPS!!!! COLE Here comes one of the lowest pieces of trash I’ve ever seen! COACH Well he is a lawyer. (J. Arthur and Gunner Sharps make their way to the stage followed by Hoff as the fans boo. Edwards laughs and puts his arms out to bask in the hatred as Gunner stares everyone down. Both men make their way to the ring and slide in.) CUE: Nitro (Youth Energy) by The Offspring MICHAEL BUFFER Coming to the ring, at a combined weight of 425 pounds, the team of LEON RODEZ and JACOB LYNE!!!! (Jacob comes out with Leon and the fans cheer. Both men high five and run to the ring, but stop short as Edwards taunts them from inside the ring.) COLE He just loves to hear himself speak doesn’t he? COACH Will you stop talking about me like I’m not here!? COLE I was talking about Edwards. COACH Oh…okay. *DING DING DING* Leon enters the ring and starts off the match with Edwards. Both men lock up and try to get the advantage, but it’s Edwards that finally gets it. Edwards plants a knee to his gut and whips him to the ropes before hitting another knee to the gut that flips him over. He then bounces off the ropes and goes for a Senton Splash, but Leon moves and tags in Jacob. Edwards gets up and sees him coming in so he runs forward and locks up with him. Jacob shoves him down and Edwards pops back up with a surprised look on his face. COLE He wasn’t expecting that! Edwards walks back up to Jacob and slaps him across the face as the fans boo. Jacob holds his cheek for a second before returning the slap and then hitting him with a quick Spinning Heel Kick that knocks him down. Cover. 1 No!!! Quickly Jacob hits the ropes and does a Somersault Legdrop, but Edwards moves. As Jacob nurses a sore tailbone from the missed legdrop Edwards tags in Gunner. Gunner waits for Jacob to stand and comes running in for a Clothesline, but Jacob ducks. Gunner manages to stop his momentum and turn around, but Jacob hits him with a High Elevation Dropkick! Gunner staggers, but he doesn’t fall down so Jacob does another High Dropkick. This time Gunner stumbles to the ropes as Jacob tags in Leon and they hit a Double Team Clothesline that sends Gunner tumbling over the top rope! Leon then climbs to the top rope and steadies himself before diving off with a Missile Dropkick to the standing Gunner! Gunner stumbles and finally falls over. COLE Wow!! Leon just jumped all the way to the floor with that Dropkick!! COACH And the big man is down!! What a strategy! Leon tries to pick Gunner up to toss him into the ring, but he’s too heavy. Seeing that his partner can’t get him in the ring Jacob comes over to help, but he gets cut off by a Spear from Edwards. The ref exits the ring and makes Edwards go back to his corner as Jacob rolls around in pain on the floor. On the other side Leon tries to lift Gunner again, but Gunner comes alive and Presses Leon above his head before tossing him through the ropes and back into the ring! Gunner then makes his way to the top rope. COLE What the hell is he doing?? COACH If he jumps off he’ll make Leon no more than a stain on the mat!! Gunner measures his opponent and goes for a Big Splash, but Leon moves at the last second! The ring shakes with the impact of Gunner on the mat as Leon crawls to his corner for a tag, but Jacob is still on the outside. Finally Jacob sees that his partner is in need and makes his way back to the corner, but Edwards comes in, which distracts the ref. Jacob calls out to the ref and he looks over, but Edwards grabs the ref and turns him around to argue some more. Finally Jacob has enough and comes into the ring, but the ref sees him and stops him. While the ref isn’t looking Edwards pulls Gunner closer to his corner and then yells at the ref to turn around. As the ref turns Gunner tags in Edwards and he comes in. COLE Come on ref! Edwards is making you his bitch!! COACH Eww…oh that’s not what you meant is it? Edwards pulls Leon up and places him on his shoulders for the Rolling Fireman’s Carry, but Leon turns it into a Crucifix Pin. 1 2 No!!! Edwards gets back up, but Leon comes in for a Flying Headscissors that takes him back down again. He then finally makes the tag to Jacob. Jacob comes in and waits for Edwards to stand before grabbing him and hitting a Belly to Belly Suplex. Cover. 1 2 No!!! Jacob then gets back up and plays to the crowd before performing a Running Shooting Star Press…but Edwards gets his knees up!! COLE What a move!!! COACH But a bad landing!! Edwards crawls to his corner and tags in Gunner who quickly comes in and pulls Jacob to his feet. Gunner then presses him above his head for the Underground Slam, but Jacob manages to slip out behind him and hit a Low Dropkick to the back of his knee. Gunner goes down to one knee as Jacob bounces off the ropes and hits another Low Dropkick to Gunner’s face. Gunner falls back against the ropes as Jacob gets the crowd to make some noise. Jacob then runs at Gunner, but Gunner reaches out and grabs him by the throat out of nowhere. Gunner then lifts him high and drops him with a massive Chokeslam! Gunner then tags back out to Edwards who climbs to the top rope and goes for the Final Litigation (Mad Splash) and hits it! COLE The Final Litigation!! Cover…1……2…….No!! Leon broke up the count!! COACH I thought it was over!! As Leon steps back through the ropes Edwards runs up and shoves him out to the floor and yells at him as the fans boo. Edwards then turns back around and pulls Jacob to his feet. He then goes for the Objection (Shoulder Press into Gut Buster), but as he presses him off his shoulders Jacob shifts his weight and lands on his feet in front of him. Jacob kicks him in the gut and goes for the Lyne Driver, but Edwards falls behind him. Edwards then goes for a Facebuster, but Jacob shoves him forward and Leon nails him with a right hand. Edwards is spun around by the punch and Jacob grabs him and hits the Lyne Driver!! COLE He got him!! 1 2 3!!!! *DING DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER Here’s your winners…JACOB LYNE AND LEON RODEZ!!!! Gunner comes in and goes after Jacob, but Jacob exits the ring and raises his hands in victory. COLE Lyne and Rodez win!!! These two young men are making quite a name for themselves here!! What a team these two are going to make here on HeldDOWN~!

NOTICE: The free hot cocoa promotion has unfortunately been cancelled, due to a shady delivery guy by the name of "Patch" delvering a certain OTHER powdery substance with a name similar to cocoa. Being that the HeldDOWN~! brand OAOAST is family entertainment, we immediately got rid of the contraband in a most quick and convienient fashion, namely putting it in Popick's trunk and notifying authorities. We apologize for any inconvienience, and urge you all to stay drug free. OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Fresh off of the most celebrated heavy eating day of the year, the HeldDOWN~! brand of OAOAST Entertainment is back once again for your viewing pleasure. Lucy Woodward's "Trust Me (You Don't Wanna See This)" plays over a compiled montage of OAOAST action which is frequently updated (and not outdated, as opposed to IntenseZone's intro which still features Bif Everchad in a prominent role), and that segues into... OPENING PYRO~! The camera scans the crowd, catching several witty signs such as "I Want A Crystal For Christmas" and "Sly's My Guy" (thankfully held up by a female fan). Our cameras then close in on Sofa Central, where the Dynamic Duo of Dialogue reside each and every Thursday. You know 'em, you love 'em, you lie to your friends and say that you're related to 'em... MICHAEL COLE AND DA COACH~! COACH (singing) It's the most wonderful time of the year... COLE You got that right, Coach. Hello fans, and welcome to this week's edition of HeldDOWN~! Michael Cole right here alongside the Karaoke King himself, Jonathan Coachman, set to bring you the best in OAOAST action tonight. COACH You wanna talk about the best, then I know you're talking HeldDOWN~!, baby. We've got some great action lined up tonight. Just before the show went on the air, General Manager Northstar has informed us that HeldDOWN~!'s version of TNT's Tag Team Invitational would be tonight's main event, but he hasn't told us who is involved! COLE One team that we know won't be involved are the former World Tag Team Champions, HeldDOWN~!'s own Dream Machines. The Parka suffered a major setback this past Sunday when not only did TNT take the World Tag Team Titles, but injured his knee in the process. There is no timetable on his return, however we were informed that Peter Knight will be back here next week, hopefully to put in a good word on his partner. COACH Man, speaking of Deadly Games, you can't talk about that PPV without discussing The Elimination Chamber. First time in OAOAST history, and our boys and girl brought the goods. Unfortunately, I lost $5,000 when I bet on Crystal thanks to that no-good Chris Ben-wannabe Damaramu, and Calvin Szechstein managed to outlast the former X Champion Ragdoll, Crystal, and the former World Champion Zack Malibu by coming out on top. COLE Calvin still has an iron grip on that belt, something that does not sit well with the former champion, Zack Malibu. The other HeldDOWN~! titles changed as well, as Sly Somers captured the X Title in a brutal cage match against both newcomer AJ Flaire and Mad Matt, the now former champion, and bringing more gold into the stable of Totally Endorsed. COACH Speaking of stables and titles, what about the war that was waged for the 24/7 Title amongst the members of The Underground? Their whole reason for being here was to try and bring the hD~! forces down, but it looks like there's some underlying issues between members of that crew, namely CWM and the new 24/7 Champion, The Superstar! COLE Coach, you know as well as I do that questions will be answered, and more will be asked here tonight. It's time to head to the ring for our opening bout, and get this party started right!

Well...I know I wouldn't know what to do without some of you. *sniff*I...I love you guys, ya know.*sniff*

Sorry you didn't win this round, Eagan, but we've got a lovely parting gift for you: Damn, I've taken care of Smarkzone and Eagan in one day. My trigger finger is getting a workout.

I'd be down for all three of 'em. I liked 2Fast a LOT more than I expected too, because I treat it as the mindless fun it is. I don't compare it to The Usual Suspects like some other people do. I go to the movies to have fun. I also refuse to believe that Bad Boys 2 was not a good movie.

I only saw the last half last night, so I have to watch my tape tonight to catch up. All I have to say is that I called the Seth thing, but I still think he's going to be forced to make a decision down the line. This cannot possibly be the end to that situation. That kid at the psychiatrist has already pissed me off, just by looking like a dick. Ryan's gonna knock him the fuck out soon, I can feel it. The next show (in 2 weeks, I think, right?) with Kirsten's sister coming and Ryan having to say I love you looks like a good one for sure.

OK, I'll wait until I'm done with work to post the show. If I go out after work, I'll do it later tonight.

It was a collaborative effort of Bob Barron's keen detection sense, and my mod powers. We put the bitch to rest.

Ah, foreshadowing...

Over a year ago, Superstar's AIM name was Game something-or-other. So odds are you could have talked to him. He hasn't used it in a looong time, though.

Try to have it in by 5pm EST guys.

On Ebay, they have brand new tapes, but they're Australian format. Either someone found a buried treasure in a wharehouse, or the other continents have robbed us of something great once again. Fuck, I totally forgot to mention Howard, which is odd seeing as how I watched it just about a week ago.

Continuing on... Zack hangs up the phone after his exchange with Choken. CC, perplexed and curious, asks the preppy one what's going on. Zack: "It...it's tough to explain. All I know is that with what's going to go down, I need to call in a favor." CC: "What do you have in mind, Zack?" Zack: "JSYK." CC stares at Zack in stunned disbelief. CC: "Are you...are you sure?" Zack: "As sure as I enjoy being with you." *cue canned audience "Awwwww" track. Zack and CC look around to see where the fuck it came from.* CC gives Zack a kiss on the cheek. CC: "Well then, if you're THAT sure, then get him here. I'm sure he'll be here in a snap." Zack picks up the phone, but then loses himself in thought for a moment. He then snaps his fingers, and like *THAT*, JSYK appears on the island. Zack: "Well I'll be, he WAS here in a snap." JSYK: "Zack, CC, good to see you both. Now, I understand you need my assistance." Zack: "Dude, how in the world...I haven't even briefed you yet!" JSYK: "Zack my good man, don't forget, I know everything. And I know it JUST SO YOU KNOW!" The three then start conversing. What did Choken say to Zack? How much DOES JSYK know? Find out soon (we hope...lazy bastards!)...

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. Give me that, and I will never ask for anything else to be made again.

Yes, yes it does. Just so you know. OMG WORDPLAY~! Now let's maim Popick while humming an evil song. I choose "My Heart Will Go On".

Bitch, I own your ass. When I get through with you you'll be selling like an Avon lady. Cockslap. Plus, I've got Chave's Hall of Rock behind me. You fuckin' wit me, youse is fuckin' wit da family.

Hot damn. A bit of OC related goodness...the girl who resembles Summer in my psych class (has dirty blonde hair but the face is like dead on, like the same cheeks and lips) has a boyfriend. So that one is a no go for me, unless I go the Ryan/Marissa/Luke route and punch the guy out once a week, hehe.

Bump Bump Bump, gang. Tonight's the night! Who will Seth choose? And if he chooses Anna, does that mean OldSchool has a shot with Summer!? What's up with Marissa being a klepto? More Cohen family drama (and quotables). I expect it to be good, as always. Even on the less "poppy" weeks like last week, this continues to be one of the most well written and developed shows on TV.

I just realized I had forgotten Tigger. Anyhow, the Hulk icon was down , so I figured I'd support my undying fandom for The O.C. Most pics I found were pretty large, and I'm not a big fan of huge sigs, so I went with the iconage. I guess you just gotta watch the show to get the vibe.

Quotes like that make Angelslayer rule. He has been taught well.

I'd be remiss in not mentioning the lack of I Drink Professor Voltron's Rat's Murder Milk.

I was honestly questioning JSYK's whereabouts on that list. Anyhow, I humbly accept. Now let's have a block party, make out with random women, and set cars ablaze.