Zack Malibu

*amen* Anybody else notice that most of the "good" (I use that term loosely) gimmicks tend to be created by the better posters. Tiffani Malibu, baby. Tiffani Malibu.

Mario got removed? I thought he had to "relocate" due to certain issues he had with some thugs or something?

I'm probably the only one around here who's keeping an open mind about this. Then again, I'm the only one into pop music. The argument can also be made that Nick Lachey has transitioned well, but 98 Degrees isn't considered a "boyband". Nick Carter's solo CD, what I've heard of it, was decent for the most part, with more of a rock tinge to his tracks. I fucking hate his little brother though.

I'm 22, and I still live at home. I've got an entire upstairs to myself since my sister went away to school, I'm commuting to school and paying my own tuition, plus working 8 hours a day, so I'm basically only there to eat and sleep. Why the hell am I gonna lay out $700 at least for a decent apartment that I'd hardly ever be at? I do plan on being out within a year or so. Trying to save up for a place, and will probably rooming with one of my good friends if things pan out.

We recently got the shaft here in RI, as Cox Cable is doing the "digital or nothing" trick with us. I haven't seen TNA since the week before the Duggan/Steiner fiasco, and it sucks. I mentioned getting digital to the people in my house, and being holiday season and all, it's the last on their list of priorities, so I've got a ways until I can order TNA again. Sucks. It was the Diatribes that was keeping me up to speed, and it sucks to hear that you're having trouble too. You deserve a pat on the back, Dames, for constantly trying to get people into the product, and carved a nice niche for yourself as a reviewer. Here's hoping your cable situation is worked out soon enough.

If he was actually giving ideas to young talent and trying to market them somehow, I honestly don't see how it could be worse. Even the filler shows like HEAT carried over actual feuds during the start of it's run, and that was due to Russo creating enough characters for people to love and hate. The writing team now has given the fans nothing to distinctly cheer or boo for, thereby leaving them in apathy.

Those three guys were definitely names before Russo. Shawn is best known for his DX stuff isn't he? I'm going to hope that was sarcasm. If not, 4 words for you: Wrestlemania Ten Ladder Match. THAT is what "made" Shawn. He was well on his way up, and that put him over the top.

But who will translate the translator? I'm also waiting for Freud to analyze this gimmick.

Those three guys were definitely names before Russo.

I was just talking to a friend about this the other day, and how everyone that gets called up is immediately placed on the roster with no standout qualities. Matt Morgan and Nathan Jones are put amongst Brock, Big Show and A-Train, with nothing making them important other than they're big. Jones, for as much as he sucks, would be best suited under someone like Russo. Instead of making him out to be an ass who didn't know how to wrestle (making the company look like idiots by hiring an untrained professional, then again Stephanie hired Mr. America...), they should have booked him as a killer in short matches, and put over his lack of workrate as "raw power" and due to his past of prison fights, etc. THAT would have made him a monster. Not tossing Shannon Moore around every week. That's just one example. I could cite so many others. Even those getting the big pushes like Batista, etc. They took away the guys whole look (Leviathan) and made him into Generic OVW Hoss #28. WWE for whatever reason will not let most of their workers carve out their own niche, and this is just one of the reasons why fans are turning against the product. There is absolutely no one you can relate to if everyone is the same anyways.

I'm with you on this. I don't deny Russo has done more than his fair share of shit in this business, but one thing I always commended the guy for was his desire to make everyone a part of the show. Guys like Jindrak, Cade, etc. can especially benefit from that style of booking, because even if they were just fodder/lower card talent, they had a distinguished look/gimmick that would possibly help them in the future, and made everyone different, rather than blend in.

In Jersey, they still do.

OK, just work out writing duties with other people. GPX are my secondary guys, but I won't be able to write for that match, as I'll be helping with segments and most likely the main event. I'm sure that other guys involved like Jay, Parka, or Adam will be willing to help out.

You guys could always throw K-Money in there instead of Matt. Supes, how about a 24/7 Match with somebody?

...your mom told you she didn't like those disgusting Garbage Pail Kids.

Tag Team Invitational for 12/11/03: Leon Rodez and Jacob Lyne vs. Global Party Exchange vs. Gunner Sharps/J. Arthur Edwards

Great effort this week, and one of my favorite shows to date. The Zack/Calvin win was a surprise, as I left the finish up to the writers, and they delivered in spades. PFL continues to deliver with both the cult favorite Sly and the newcomers of St. Matthew and his minions. Northstar as a GM is clicking on all cylinders, Superstar's not so newfound cockiness rips at The Underground, the newcomers all got a chance to shine, and we hit home with a gritty, realistic angle that Ragdoll deserves kudos for. Great show all around, and it gets a 9, a definite 10 had we had one more major matchup.

PROPS: Calvin Superstar Damaramu Crystal Mad Matt Sly Northstar Parka Axel Zack Ragdoll

*CRASH BOOM BANG OTHER EXPLOSIVE SOUNDS!* Pyro goes off as “Defy You” by the Offspring begins to blast over the loudspeakers, and CWM and Chave Senate walk out from behind the curtain, followed closely by the rest of the Underground. Chave and CWM slide into the ring, the members of the Underground encircling the ring as ring announcer Gary Michael Cappetta does the introductions. GARY MICHAEL CAPPETTA Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a TRIPLE THREAT TAG TEAM MATCH scheduled for ONE fall! In addition, this match is for the NUMBER ONE CONTENDERSHIP to the OAOAST TAAAAAAAAG TEAM TITLES! Introducing first, at a combined weight of four-HUNDRED thirty-seven pounds, representing the Underground, the team of C-W-M and CHAAAAAAAAAAAVE SENATE! The crowd boos, but the boos quickly turn to… well, more boos, as the familiar words blast from out of the loudspeakers… “EVERY BODY DANCE NOW!” The C and C Music Factory song of the same name begins to blast, the fans roaring WILDLY IN ANGER as Mister Warrior and The Superstar dart out from behind the curtain, rushing into the ring! GARY MICHAEL CAPPETTA Introducing their opponents, weighing in at a combined weight of FIVE hundred, FIVE pounds, the team of MISTER WARRIOR and the SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPERSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR! The crowd’s booing keeps going… and it rises to a head as the lights dim out… “Three-two-one, I’M THE BOMB!” “I’m The Bomb” by the Electric Six begins to blast over the loudspeakers, strobelights flashing as OAOAST WORLD Heavyweight Champion, Calvin Szechstein, steps out from behind the curtain and onto the stage, the shining gold belt over his shoulder and an MTV cap on his head! COACH You know what I heard, Michael Cole? COLE What? COACH Calvin just signed a sponsorship deal with MTV. We might have Carson Daly on next week! COLE That’d be… uh… truly awesome, I suppose. Calvin steps to the side, as the familiar words bring a rush of cheering and his partner… “WAKE ME UP INSIDE!” “Bring Me to Life” by Evanescene blasts out over the speakers, as blue and gold pyro goes off on either side of the entrance ramp and former World champion, Zack Malibu dashes out from backstage, rushing into the ring! The cheers are overwhelming as Szechstein stands back, watching his partner with a bit of amusement before calmly walking down to the ring himself. GARY MICHAEL CAPPETTA And finally, weighing in at a combined three HUNDRED, ninety-two pounds, the team of Calvin Szechstein and ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MALIBU! Calvin finally hits the ring, getting up onto the apron and waiting there. In one corner, CWM steps out of the ring – in the other, Mister Warrior does the same. Calvin calmly discards his hat, pointing the logo out to the fans before handing it to a ring attendant, who expects Calvin to take his belt off. Calvin shakes his head no, strapping the belt around his waist and giving it a protective pat. Shrugging, the attendant takes the cap to the timekeeper’s table, as said timekeeper rings the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE And this contest is underway! Instantly, the Underground fellows on the outside grab at the heels of Zack Malibu, around the ankles of a moderately amused Calvin Szechstein… until, of course, said Underground folk begin grabbing at his legs, as well. Angrily, Szechstein stomps at them, as inside the ring Chave and Superstar double-up on Zack, catching him with a double clothesline to send him careening to the mat. Malibu gets up quickly… only to fall victim to a dropkick from Chave! Malibu hits the mat once more, but quickly gets back to his feet, causing Calvin to mutter a “What a glutton for punishment.” COACH Our hero, Zack Malibu, certainly isn’t seeing a whole lot of offence early in this match! COLE He’ll make a comeback though, Coach. He always does. Malibu goes over to his corner, quickly tagging in Szechstein so as to avoid burning himself out too quickly. Begrudgingly, Calvin steps into the ring, looking weary-eyed across the ring at the Superstar. Superstar shoots Calvin a sly smile, and quickly drops to his back on the mat. Zack's eyes nearly pop out of his sockets as Superstar dashes over, making the cover! "ONE!" "TWO!" Zack kicks Calvin angrily in the shins, and Calvin pops up, getting to his feet. He smirks at Zack, mumbling "It was a joke, dude," as Superstar gets to his feet as well, drilling Calvin with a hard left palm to send him to the mat. Superstar rains down stomps on Calvin, before lifting him up and grabbing a front facelock. From there, Superstar hoists Calvin into the air upside down, in a delayed vertical suplex. While he holds him there, Chave is up and he runs to the ropes, charging at Superstar! Unbeknownst to the 24/7 Champion, Chave leaps up and sends a dropkick into his chest, dropping him down to the mat as he drops Calvin down a bit earlier than expected! COACH Sweet innovation there by Chave! COLE And to think it was just a dropkick. Angered, Superstar leaps to his feet and levels Chave with an elbow, sending him right into the corner. From there, Superstar begins sending fierce kicks into the midsection of the Underground member, culminating with Superstar backing up and charging forward, delivering a high, stiff boot right to Chave's face! As Senate slumps back in the corner, Superstar hoists him onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry. The 24/7 Champ begins spinning around with an airplane spin, but just as he begins to drop Chave off his shoulders, Szechstein returns and grabs his head, nailing a New Line Cinema Neckbreaker that sends Senate down hard to the mat! Dizzy, Superstar falls back into his corner as MISTER WARRIOR~ tags himself back in. COACH Business has just picked up, Cole! COLE After that nice exchange, it's time for some BRUTE STRENGTH to take over HeldDOWN! COACH Is that what you call it? Calvin pops up, unaware of Warrior, and calls out to the crowd. "TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, WEEK DAYS AT THREE O'CLOCK, TWO O'CLOCK CENTRAL ONLY ON MTV!" The crowd jeers as the shill...as Mister Warrior exhibits unmanly athleticism, charging forward and leaping into the air, catching Szechstein in a headlock and driving his face to the mat with a bulldog! Mr. Warrior begins jogging in place as Chave reaches his feet, and when he does, Warrior charges forward...levelling him with a clothesline! Chave comes right back up...and goes right back down from another clothesline! Warrior continues to jog, and as Chave gets up again, Warrior hoists him high into the air with a GOrilla press slam! Mister Warrior adds a few reps to his Chave workout, but as he does this showboating, Calvin sneaks behind him and raises his fist right between Warrior's legs! *CHING!* Warrior drops Chave and falls to the mat, clutching his precious testicles. With both men down, Calvin ascends the near turnbuckle and climbs to the top rope. After posing for a second, Calvin leaps off, soaring through the air for the Freddy vs. Jason Frog Splash... ...but both men move and Calvin smacks against the canvas! Chave begins crawling on his stomach to his corner...and tags in CWM! Meanwhile, Mister Warrior KIPS UP, HARD AND READY TO BRING THE PAIN! CWM charges at the mystical Warrior, but he sees this coming and bends over, standing up and flipping CWM WAAAAAAAAAAAY up and over his head, sailing over the ropes and to the outside of the ring with a back body drop! The fans roar as CWM fractures his skull or something. Meanwhile, Calvin Szechstein crawls over to his corner...and Zack Malibu tags himself in! COLE And Malibu is back in this match! COACH You can catch him on Celebrity Taildaters, every week day on MTV! With CWM down on the outside, Zack Malibu charges into the ring to capitalize on his departure! MISTER WARRIOR~ charges him, looking to knock him out... *CRACK!* COACH YO~! COLE School's Out! School's Out! Malibu makes the quickie cover! "ONE!" J. Arthur slides into the ring... but it's CALVIN SZECHSTEIN, grabbing him by the midsection and giving him the CODE RED CLASH on the ring apron! The crowd ERUPTS, as Calvin falls over on the apron, and the ref continues the count... "TWO!" "THREE!" *DING DING DING!* GARY MICHAEL CAPPETTA YOUR winners, and the NEEEEEW NUMBER ONE CONTENDERS to the O - A - O - A - S - T TAAAAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS... Calvin Szechstein and ZAAAAACK MALIBU! In the ring, Mister Warrior gets to his feet... only to get shoved down by Superstar! Calvin grabs Zack, pulling him out of the ring and up the aisle, escaping the swarm of Underground wrestlers that enter the ring. The two of them stare at the Underground, standing in the ring and nursing three of their own, as we fade to black...

The same two men who appeared in the first segment appear as Mad Matt is sitting in a locked room waiting for the results of the many tests that he is gone through. Man #1:After reviewing the results of the ink blot test, character tests, psycology tests, and indeed the alegebra test, we find Mad Matt....professional wrestler in OAOAST to be..... Man #2:Legally insane. Mad Matt bolts up with his eyes bulging out. Man #1:We demand that you will stay here until you are sane enough to get out in the real world. Mad Matt breaks a glass case with his hand and grabs out an axe. Mad Matt:INSANE. I SHALL SHOW YOU INSANE. Mad Matt swings the axe and the two men narrowly duck. Mad Matt is destroying that entire room with the axe. He chops down the door and he is in the hallway. Man #2:We need backup. We have a man who is legally insane swinging an axe in the hallway. A couple dozen people come down the hallway. Mad Matt swings the axe so hard that the blade flies off. Matt swings the axehandle like a baseball bat and knocks a few men down. Finally he is injected in the arm by a needle and someone brings a straightjacket. Losing the X Division Title and having lingering damage to his knee has sent Mad Matt off the deep end. So far off the deep end, that it has landed him in a mental institution. Mad Matt is dragged off and thrown into a padded cell. The camera fades out. Cole:That was um.... Coach:Well hopefully we will get an update on this. Mad Matt is one of our better wrestlers on HeldDown so we kind of need him to wrestle week in and week out. Cole: There is no way that Northstar is happy about this. I understand our cameras have caught him in the midst of a telephone call in his office, and I can only imagine it's to free Mad Matt. Let's take you back there for the scoop! (Northstar is in his pimped out office, talking on the phone to Lauren Shuler Donner, producer of X-men 3. Holly-wood is sitting on his desk and reading an issue of Cosmo) Northstar: Ms.Donner, Hi. It's me Northstar. Lauren Shuler Donner: Northstar? Oh yeah, right. You're Bel Air Claude's kid, right? Northstar: Bel Air Claude's kid, that's me. Hey, are you watching the show? Lauren: You mean, Friends? Northstar: No! Are you watching HeldDOWN? Lauren: The wrestling show? Ah ha. Your dad mentioned that you were involved in that. I don't mean to offend you but I have better things to do with my valuable time than watch bunch of sweaty roid monkeys fondle one another. Northstar: It's not like that at all. This isn't the type of wrestling you see on spike TV every Monday. Honestly, I'm not sure I want to call it wrestling. It's more of a sophisticated athletic drama. Lauren: I'm sorry, did you just call wrestling sophisticated? Because if you did I may have to reach through this phone and choke the life out of you. What's so sophisticated about a bunch of apes bashing each others skulls in with flaming chairs and throwing women through tables? As for athletic, anyone could throw a couple of fake looking punches and bite a blood capsule. Northstar: Okay, I can see you have some uninformed notions about what HeldDOWN is really about. You don't have to watch the entire show . but I just want you to see this tag team invitational I've got planned. Lauren: Tag team invitational? Those words mean nothing to me. You're inviting repressed homosexuals to feel each other up on network television? Sorry, but I think Will and Grace beat you to the punch. Northstar: I didn't say gay orgy invitational! This a tag team invitational match which is being used to determine a number one contender for the world tag team titles. Lauren: Yeah, so? Northstar: So, this match will feature the teams of Mister Warrior, Superstar and Chave and CWM and Zack Malibu and Calvin Szechstein Lauren: What stupid names. Did you actually pay people to come up those monikers? If you did, you should fire your creative team and use the money to hire a public relations firm. Because I haven't heard of half those people. Northstar: And that's a shame because Zack Malibu and Calvin Szechstein are untapped wells of entertainment and money making potential. Lauren: Says who? Northstar: Says I! Believe me when I say that Zack Malibu is the next Leo. Trust me. He has heart throb written all over him. Arenas across the country have crumbled due to the sheer amount of noise undersexed teenage girls make when Zack Malibu hits the ring. Even grown women love this guy. Holly, you like Zack right? Holly-wood: Zack? Yeah, I'd fuck him. Why not? Northstar: Hell, who wouldn't? But what about Calvin Szechstein? My world champion? A man who has single handily restored credibility to a title that the aforementioned Zack Malibu helped destroy. Now, he's not the best looking guy in the world. Far from it. But he is one of the most exciting and breath taking showmen, I've had the pleasure of watching. Holly-wood: He's got the razor sharp wit of John Stewart and the dead pan delivery of Conan O'brien. Lauren(laughing): Is that right? Northstar: Yeah, it is. Calvin is beyond fucking awesome. Not only is he a top notch athlete but he is a masterful wordsmith capable of serving his foes with elegant and scathing prose. He craps charisma and cums personality. Lauren: Thanks for the image. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going out to eat soon but I will set my TiVO to record this tag team match your so excited about. When I get back home, I'll watch it. If I like what I see, I'll give you call sometime over the weekend and we can try and work something out. Northstar: Lauren, you are a doll. Merci beaucoup and do you think I could play Archangel in the next X-men movie? Lauren: We'll talk. Bye-bye. (Northstar hangs up the phone. Cut back to Coach and Cole) COLE He was talking to a movie producer? COACH Awesome! You know, people mistake me for Denzel all the time. COLE Yeah, Denzel Harris, the caterer. COACH ...and? COLE Fans, it has been a wild ride, perhaps moreso than ever. The night will come to a head when we come back, as the Tag Team Invitational takes place. Zack and Calvin, Superstar and Warrior, CWM and Chave, going at it when we come back!

Mad Matt(this time without the straightjacket) is sitting opposite of a doctor. Doctor:I am going to hold up this card with ink on it and you tell me what you see Matt. The doctor holds up the first one. Mad Matt:The X Division Title Belt. The doctor holds up the second one. Mad Matt:Blood dripping down the face of Sly Sommers after I crush his face for daring to take my X Division Title Belt at the last Pay Per View. The doctor holds up a third one. Mad Matt:I see something right here. I see something interesting. I see that I got screwed out of my title last Sunday. That so called savior St. Andrew interfered and cost me the match. Vengence shall be mine soon but first I have a title to win match. Doctor:And finally Mad Matt. The doctor holds up a fourth and final card. Mad Matt:I see very bad things for the people in this place if they declare me mentally incompetent and/or legally insane. I see me pulling their brains out of their noses with a pair of tweezers. I see that. I also see the longer I have to waste my time, and not train for my rematch that was promised in my contract for the X Division Title, the more pissed off I will get. The more casualities there shall be. COLE You know, Coach, at times I don't feel like a wrestling host. COACH You feel like a detective yet? You can be COLEJAK! COLE No. What I mean is, look at what we've got going on around us. We've got a guy in a mental institution, a guy putting up a sacred sanctuary backstage, another guy is fighting his demons...it's like Jerry Springer with more fighting and less nudity. COACH I agree. We COULD use more nudity on the show. COLE Keep 'em on, Coach. No one wants to see Long Dong Silver here. COACH ...like you would know... Charlie Hoss, Flameout and Silver Star are seen sitting backstage playing Playstation 2.) Silver Star: Dudes, Northstar's my dawg and all but I've got a serious grievance with how he's running the mother ship. Flameout: Mother fucker, I'm surprised yo ignorant ass knows what a grievance be. Silver Star: I ain't stupid, dude. I went to Pepperdine after all....for a month. Look, that's not important. What it's important is that Northstar's giving preferential treatment to the females. Charlie: Like who? Silver Star: Like Holly and Alix. Charlie: One's his sister and the other's his psycho bitch girlfriend. What's he s'posed to do? Silver Star: I don't know! But how the hell can we compete with love and family? I doubt his dad's gonna adopt me and it ain't like I can whip out my wang and get a pay raise. But, Alix flashes her pussy when she's drunk and all of a sudden she's queen shit around here and driving a brand new 350Z on the company's dime. That's not fair, dudes. Charlie: Northstar got me a role in the next Batman movie. He's been pretty cool to me. Silver Star: Fuck you, no he hasn't. And if he has, it's only because of your giant Fabio like man tities. Which by the way, you seriously need to get reduced because they're getting a little unsightly. How many gallons of milk do you produce in a day? (An enraged Charlie stands up as if he wants to fight Silver Star but Flameout holds him back) Silver Star: What? You don't want none, dawg. You don't want none. Flameout: Mother fucker, slow your role. If you wanna be tight wit Northstar, get off yo whiny ass and do something fo'em. All yo dumb ass does is sit around smoke skunk and listen to Hendrix. And you wonder why Northstar don't like you? Silver Star: Fine. I'll do something for him. And I have just the idea...... (Cut back to Coach and Cole) COLE What was that about? COACH Only one way to find out. COACHJAK TO THE RESCUE! COLE God help us all. We'll be back.

COLE Talk about a heated exchange! The war between Damaramu and Crystal heats up! COACH Man, all the talk about Crystal is getting ME hot! Honestly though, Damaramu's number may be up...we saw that Ryan Smith is en route to HeldDOWN~! next week, and Crystal wants a piece of him as well. There's a lynch mob looking for Damaramu, and after he put Crystal at less than 100% going into the Elimination Chamber, even I want a piece of him. COLE Go challenge him then. COACH Are you crazy? Nah, not me. I'm, uh...I'm all talk, Damaramu. If you're listening, don't take this seriously. (Cut to backstage, where the Unholy Communion are going back to St. Andrew’s mock cathedral locker room.) ANDREW: That was one hell of a win! I’m very proud of the both of you! But, with every show of brute force that we must show in order to get our word across, we must confess our sins to the man above. To the confessional! (Andrew opens the door, but when he goes into his room, he finds popcorn all over the place, some party music playing in the background, and one of the pews knocked over.) ANDREW: What in the.....? (Andrew opens the confessional door, to find Scotty Static of the Global Party Exchange, munching down on some popcorn, wearing a lei around his neck, and dancing while in the chair.) SCOTTY: Hey, man! What’s goin’ on? (Then, the slot from the priest’s side of the confessional lowers, and we hear the voice of Johnny Jackson, the other half of the GPE.) JOHNNY: Yo, yo, yo! What’s up, man? ANDREW: What’s going on? What’s going on? I’ll tell you what’s going on! You two....hooligans have desecrated the good name of the man above. What do you think you’re doing? SCOTTY: We’re just havin’ some fun, man! ANDREW: Fun? Fun? Fun is not something that a cathedral is built to hold! Nathaniel, Michael, get them! As Nathaniel charges at Scotty, Scotty throws the popcorn bowl at Nathaniel’s head, and temporarily dazes him. Michael tries to open the priest’s door on the confessional, but he gets the door kicked in his face by Johnny Jackson, sending him flying backwards. Nathaniel and Michael hold each other up, and the GPE charge out of the booths with stereo superkicks, sending both minions flying back into the pews! St. Andrew tries clotheslining both at the same time, but they duck. He turns around, and they both clothesline him at the same time! But, while they were distracted by St. Andrew, the minions forearm Scotty and Johnny at the back of their heads. The Minions get ahead for maybe a second before it turns into a back-and-forth battle between both new teams, until HeldDOWN~! officials charge into the cathedral to separate all four men.) (FADE TO BLACK)

*We see words across the screen that say "Ryan Smith"* *Dropkick Murphy's World Full of Hate plays over the video* *We cut to a football game. It appears to be The Oklahoma Sooners against The Texas Longhorns. We see a beautiful pass flying through the air caught by a man in the endzone with SMITH on the back of his jersey.* *Smith's voice comes over the images* "My whole life I've strived to be the best." *We then cut to a picture of two men standing together at a party. Ryan Smith and Damaramu with there arms around each other smiling at the camera.* "I've always tried to put my trust into my friends. I've always tried to keep them close. Because I was always taught that they would be the ones there for me when the chips were down." *We then see Ryan Smith wrestling for the OU wrestling team with a younger Dama on the side of the mat cheering for him.* "We always tried to keep a friendly rivalry. To see who was the best. However it went to far. I thought we were friends. You beat me...and I accepted it. However that wasn't enough....you had to rub it in. You wanted everyone to know. You got out of hand. I confronted you about it...you ended our friendship with one single punch the night you left for Japan. I was hurt...I had a great friend..." *We get several different still shots of Dama and Smith at various parties arm and arm.* "But you had to go and ruin it all. Just like everything else you've ruined. I never understood why you were so miserable. What you were harboring inside that made you act like this. You never talked about your childhood. All I knew was that you had to be the best. You were always a little to cocky and to arrogant for your own good. Well that took you to far. I'll admit I got into this business to get revenge on you for pinning me all those years ago. But maybe deep down inside...it was all to patch everything up. Maybe if we were in the same business we could be friends. Maybe we could have been tag team champions. I just wanted to find the friend I knew. Not the beast that now inhabits your body." *We cut to the night of both men's debut HD~! match with Damaramu injuring Smith's neck. We see several different angles of the 2nd Burning Hammer that finished it all off.* "You made me realize that Jason Ryan O'Dell is dead. All that is left is the monster known as Damaramu. Well I'm coming back...and I'm coming for you." *we see Ryan Smith standing in the wrestling room at OU with a neck brace on staring a hole right through the camera. The song ends as we fade back to the arena.* *The fans all stand and cheer for the video they just saw.* Michael Cole: Coach there's a history between Damaramu and Ryan Smith that we don't completely know about! They were friends that had a rivalry and Dama took it to far! He pinned Ryan Smith in a friendly wrestling match but took that victory to far. He got to arrogant...leading to the split of a great friendship! Well ladies and gentleman this weekend I'm going to Norman, Oklahoma! I'm going to Owen Field to meet Ryan Smith and we are going to discuss it all! His history with Damaramu and what he plans to do upon his return! Ladies and Gentleman don't miss it next week. Ryan Smith's full heart to heart with me. Perhaps he will give us a little insight as to why Damaramu is as cold as he is. Perhaps we will learn why Damaramu has a blackheart! That's next week only on Helddown! ::We go backstage where it looks calm-well, as calm as it gets on HeldDOWN!:: (A voice is heard in the distance): "Where the hell is he? Somebody better (bleeping) tell me!" ::Crystal emerges, a look of rage on her face:: (Crystal grabs a random stagehand and pins him on the wall): "WHERE IS HE?" "Crystal! Stop terrorizing my crew. Who are you looking for? Calvin?" ::Crystal whirls and is face-to-face with Northstar!:: CRYSTAL: "I don't care where that miserable son-of-a-bitch is. Where is the (bleep) is Damaramu? He wants to try screw me out of the title? He wants to break my neck? I will kill that bastard the minute I see him." NORTHSTAR: "Whoa, calm there girly. Geez, I thought you would be more mad at Calvin for screwing you over at Deadly Games..." CRYSTAL: "Why should I have expected any different? It was every man for himself. And stop trying to get away from the issue. Where is Damaramu? NORTHSTAR: "Not here yet. By the way, what the hell were you thinking, calling out Damaramu a few days before Deadly Games? You could have cost me big time. If a IZ wrestler had won, there would have been hell to pay." CRYSTAL: "Are you implying that I actually had what happened to me coming? You think that was bad? You ain't seen nothing yet." ::A buzz fills the hallways, and the camera pans to an entering DAMARAMU! Crystal wastes no time attacking him, letting all her fustrations out. She leaps onto him with fists flying. Dama immediately crumbles in a heap and gets his hands up as Crystal unloads with lefts and rights. Dama tries to stand but Crystal grabs him and hurls him into the wall shoulder first. Dama screams out in pain as Crystal prepares for another flurry:: NORTHSTAR: "Get her off him! Restrain her! Charlie! Security!" ::Charlie(with bandages on his head) and security holds Crystal back, as well as a recovering Damaramu:: DAMARAMU: "You stupid bitch!" CRYSTAL: "You want to break me? You want to end my career? Why don't we have a match next week, huh?" DAMARAMU: "You don't know what you're getting into little girl. I'll break you like a twig!" NORTHSTAR: "HOLD IT! There's no way I'm giving this money match away on free TV. Why don't we have a compromise? You two can have a match, only it has a time limit. 10 minutes, then the match is over, if you two can even last that long. AND, if either of you try anything to each other before next week, I'll suspend you, without pay!" DAMARAMU(smirking): "Sounds good to me. See ya next week Crystal." CRYSTAL: "Right. Next week." NORTHSTAR: "Get her out of here!" ::Charlie calmly asks Crystal to leave and tells her she will get him next week. Crystal walks off, still angry, with Charlie following close behind her trying to calm her.:: DAMARAMU(looking at Northstar): "10 minutes huh? How's your face feel?" NORTHSTAR(holding the side of his face where he was hit by Dama): "Just fine. You lay your hands on me again and you're gone." DAMARAMU: "Hehehe.....Northstar.....I'd like to see you get rid of me. " ::Dama heads off down the hall to his locker room as Northstar stands holding his face looking mighty pissed off:: ::Fade to black::

We return to a very somber Michael Cole and The Coach. COLE Fans, due to the nature of what we just saw, I offer apologies on behalf of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. It's understandable that people have their demons, but to see it...my God, Coach, I don't know what to say. COACH Don't look at me. I...he needs help, Michael. COLE You know, people get enticed by a certain lifestyle, and what we just viewed is the grim reality of making certain choices. Whatever his reasons, the man we know as Ragdoll has gone down the wrong path, and...I...we've just got to carry on with the show right now. I can't dwell on that scene. COACH That poor girl, my God... COACH: As you’ve seen, last Sunday, as we were warned, our supposed “savior” came, in the form of this man named Saint Andrew and his Minions of Mayhem, like we’ve been told to call them, Nathaniel and Michael. MC: As you can see here in the stills that we’re able to show you, the Minions entered the cage, and did St. Andrew’s dirty work for him, taking out both Mad Matt and AJ Flaire. They’ll be back next week, as the damages in this incredible, risk-taking, daredevil match were too high to risk any injury by coming to this week’s show. Then, the Minions connected with a double superkick so hard on Sly’s jaw that it sent him over the top rope, out the cage door, and to the floor, to win the X-Division Championship. COACH: As you just heard in that makeshift cathedral that St. Andrew’s got in the backstage area, apparantly this unholy communion of sorts picked and chose Sly, since he was, in their eyes, the weakest of the three, and therefore the easiest to eventually win the title from. However, tonight, none of the three men from that incredible match are in action, nor is St. Andrew. However, right now, we get to see the debut of the Minions of Mayhem, as Nathaniel and Michael are in action, right now! (“Pompeii” starts up, and St. Andrew leads his Minions to the ring. Nathaniel and Michael take their robes off, and Saint Andrew demands that the ring boy take their robes and hang them up in their cathedral backstage. Andrew then joins the commentators at their booth.) FINKEL: Introducing first, weighing in at a combined weight of 467 pounds, from St. Andrew’s Cathedral....Michael, Nathaniel, the Minions of Mayhem! ANDREW: Yes, they’re MY Minions of Mayhem! FINKEL: And their opponents, already in the ring, weighing in at a combined weight of 489 pounds, the team of “Jumpin’” Joey Maggs and Mark Starr! MC: Not to discredit the Minions, but they have a tough task ahead of them, facing two veterans such as Starr and Maggs in their debut. ANDREW: Trust me, this might be my followers’ in-ring debut, but I personally hand-picked them from my legions of minions due to their ruthless conquest to destroy all that stand in our path of spreading our word. COACH: While the referee is checking all four men for weapons, let me ask you: why did you come here? What’s your point of coming to HeldDOWN~!? ANDREW: I’m glad you asked. You see, your programming gets viewed by millions of lost souls on a weekly basis. By invading your airwaves, we get to spread the word from above to those who might not hear it otherwise. And by defeating your wrestlers, we prove ourselves to not only be “cool”, as you might say, but prove these people’s morally-empty warriors and heroes to be inferior to men of the cloth, such as myself. The match starts, with Maggs and Nathaniel. Collar-and-elbow tie-up in the center of the ring, and Nathaniel nails an armdrag. Maggs then runs at him again, and Nathaniel hits a drop toe hold. Nathaniel then gets on top of Maggs, spins around, gets up, and gives him the “Father, Son, Holy Spirit” hand blessing. Maggs gets up, and they circle around. Another collar-and-elbow tie-up, and this time Nathaniel switches into a reverse waistlock. He slips down, hits a reverse double-leg takedown, runs to the ropes, and connects with a sick-looking soccer-like kick to the face of Maggs. ANDREW: If brutality and viciousness are what’s needed to get ahead around here, we’ll bring it. Nathaniel pulls Maggs up, and tags in Michael. Nathaniel whips Maggs to the ropes, and picks him up in Hart Attack position. Michael then springboards to the second rope, and connects with an amazing backflip dropkick that sends Maggs down hard. Nathaniel goes to the corner, and Michael goes for the cover...1....2...kickout. Michael pulls Maggs up, and whips him to the ropes. Michael then connects with a spinning heel kick, directly to the jaw. As Maggs holds his jaw, Michael blesses Starr, which sets him off enough that he comes into the ring. But, the referee stops him. As the referee is distracted, Nathaniel comes back into the ring, and both Minions whip Nathaniel to the ropes. He comes back around, and they nail the Touch of Light (starts as an H-Bomb, but they let him flip all the way around, and switch positions while he’s in mid-air so Nathaniel slams his face into the mat and Michael has ahold of his legs). MC: My lord! ANDREW: Yes, his power has driven my minions to perform such destruction upon this poor, poor, misguided soul. Nathaniel and Michael make a blind tag right before the referee turns around, and Nathaniel goes for the cover....1.....2...Mark Starr runs in to break it up. While the referee’s distracted, once again the Minions illegally double-team Maggs. This time, Nathaniel hits a Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Maggs, and holds him in the seated position afterwards, so that Michael can nail a brutal step-up kick to Maggs’s jaw. The Minions make another blind tag, and Michael rolls Maggs over for the pin....1.......2....Maggs gets his foot on the bottom rope. Michael rolls Maggs over, and shoves him into a neutral corner. He then connects with two front roundhouse kicks to the face, and a spinkick to the mid-section. Michael attempts to Irish whip Michael to the other neutral corner, but Maggs reverse the whip. However, Michael kips over Maggs as soon as he hits the corner, grabs Maggs from behind, and hits a brutal high angle back suplex. MC: It’s obvious that you’ve been having your followers watch tapes of the X-Division, as that move right there was Sly Sommers’ USA High Angle Backdrop! ANDREW: Silence. That’s blasphemous. Michael then falls back on the ropes, takes a step, and nails a flipping legdrop. Michael goes for the cover.....1......2....kickout. Michael tags out to Nathaniel again. After pulling Maggs up while forearming him in the back of the head, he then puts Maggs’ prone body over his shoulder, facing upward, and hooks Maggs’s neck with his hands. He then drops him with the Beckoning (Widow’s Peak/Twist of Kain). But, instead of going for the cover, Nathaniel mockingly crosses himself, and then drops a legdrop. He goes for the pin with just his leg over Joey’s body....1....2....Starr breaks it up. Again, the Minions illegally double-team behind the referee’s back, as Nathaniel picks Maggs up, and nails the Hallow (Catatonic suplex), followed by Michael coming off of the top rope with the Rise to Grace (450 Splash)! ANDREW: What have I been saying? My followers are one hell of a well-oiled machine! Cockily, Michael pulls Maggs up, and whips him to the ropes again. This time, however, Joey ducks a clothesline, and comes back with a flying forearm of his own. Both men are down, and start crawling to their own corners as the referee counts down. At the count of six, Michael tags out to Nathaniel, and Maggs tags out to Starr. Starr and Nathaniel meet mid-ring, and Starr sends him down with a right hand. Nathaniel pops up, and Starr whips him off to the ropes. Starr nails a high back body drop, and Nathaniel squanders to the outside. Starr tries to go after him, but Michael runs into the ring and forearms Starr in the back, so that Starr lands throat-first on the middle rope. Maggs runs at him, and Michael nails the HP Driver (hiptoss with a sit-down landing by Michael). Michael steps back a few steps, and waits until Maggs is in a kneeling position. Then, he springboards off of Maggs’ back, and guillotines Starr’s neck across the middle rope with an insane legdrop! COACH: I had no clue this was the type of stuff that they taught you in church! ANDREW: That’s what you get for not believing. Michael and Nathaniel then slide back into the ring. Joey Maggs is back up, and they duck a double clothesline attempt from him. They turn around to face each other, and both Minions kick Maggs in the stomach. They hook his head, bend forward, and bring him back in a double Shellshock, which they call the Blessing. Nathaniel goes for the cover.....1.....2....Starr uses his last burst of energy to break it up. Michael rolls Maggs out of the ring with his feet via shoves and kicks. Michael then goes up top, and stands there facing the crowd. Nathaniel puts Maggs in between his legs and picks him up in a piledriver position. Right as Nathaniel goes for the piledriver, Michael comes off the top rope with a backflip and spikes Starr’s head into the mat by the legs! MC: Holy crap! ANDREW: Actually, it’s called the Holy Divide. Why? It divides your vertebrae, and it’s quite divine. Michael goes for the cover..........1............2......Maggs tries to break it up, but Nathaniel kicks him in the face....3! St. Andrew’s Minions of Mayhem have destroyed their first competition in their HeldDOWN~! debut! MC: Very, very impressive debut by your Minions, I must say. ANDREW: Impressive? That’s not even the tip of the iceberg! All of a sudden, Jeremy Red runs down the ramp and into the ring, trying to defend his fallen friend Mad Matt, who was beaten up during the cage match by the Unholy Communion. However, he’s quickly stomped down after falling on his face, attempting his ridiculous “finisher”. St. Andrew enters the ring to lead traffic. Nathaniel picks Jeremy up in a Torture Rack position, and drops him in a piledriver (Eternal Damnation)! MC: In just five minutes, St. Andrew’s Minions have left quite the impressive path of destruction! COACH: Just think: if these guys are the lackeys of the group, think of how brutal their leader is! MC: We're going to take a break, but when we come back, we're going to hear from a young man who's been on the shelf for the last several week. Ryan Smith will join us when we come back, right here on HeldDOWN~!

(We cut to backstage again, this time, we enter a room that’s basically set up like a Catholic church, with two pews on each side of the room, and a confessional. Sly is pointed into the confessional booth, where he sits down after the Minions shut the door.) SLY: Uh, what’s going on? ANDREW: Silence, my son. I know what you wanted to talk to me about. Your thankfulness is graciously taken. We did that on Sunday, not as a favor to you, however. We did that, for the Trinity. SLY: I thought those guys didn’t go here anymore.... ANDREW: I wasn’t talking about those fellows. I was talking about the Father, Son, and The Holy Ghost. They’ve driven me here, to spread the word of our nation. Myself, and my Minions have been sent here by the Holy Trinity to spread our word, and our first step to spreading our word is to clinch that X-Division Championship that currently sits around your waist. We saw you as the least of the three individuals involved in the contest, so we assisted you in your conquest on Sunday. But, now, it is time for you to return the favor. The next title shot goes to Thou. SLY: Listen, whatever mumbo-jumbo you’re speaking, it’s cool and all. But, you haven’t even wrestled a damn match here! What makes you think that I’m supposed to bend over like an altar boy in a monestary, and take it in the BUTT? ANDREW: How dare you spout such blasphemous language in a church of the Lord? I demand that you exit our cathedral, but not without a warning: very soon, we will take what is ours, and what is ours is what you think is yours. Your status, your glory...and yes, your title belt. Now Nathaniel, Michael, please take this poor, forsaken soul out of my cathedral. (Nathaniel and Michael open Sly’s door, pick him up by the shirt, and toss him out of the door, into a wall. As Sly’s laying in a heap, St. Andrewleads his minions out of the room.) We cut back, once again, to our hosts over at Sofa Central. COLE Wow, what a night it is shaping up to be. That was an awesome tag team contest we just saw, and how about the announcement of tonight's main event? COACH You know, if you were a good detective, you'd have known who Northstar was going to put in that match, but noooo...you're not as in the mix as Coachjak. COLE Do you have a personality disorder or something? COACH No, my personalities get along just fine. Why do you ask? COLE *sigh* Fans, last week, Ragdoll won Northstar's special Holiday Fourway matchup, and was told he could pick a title shot at any OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Title that he wanted tonight. However, Ragdoll never came in contact with Northstar's office during the week, for whatever reason, so Northstar has had no choice but to void the title shot for the time being. Ragdoll has shown up here tonight, and we're not sure if he's gotten wind of this or not, but we take you to him now. -The scene fades in from the shenanigans going on elsewhere to a bathroom somewhere in the back. The walls are nice and clean, the floors are clean...it's just a clean bathroom. The camera moves around the stall to show Ragdoll leaning his head against the mirror. His eyes are closed tightly, his teeth clenched. He suddenly calms down as he looks up, his eyes beet red. Without looking, he unwraps the tube from around his arm and pulls the small syringe out. A small smile creeps across his face as he throws down the tube and syringe, turning around. He walks past the cameraman and into his dressing room, where Melanie sits waiting, a look of concern on her face. RAGDOLL Wha...What are you doing here? MELANIE I came back to see how you were doing...Brian called me, Austin...he said you broke his arm. RAGDOLL I might have...I dunno, I can't remember... -Ragdoll chuckles as he moves towards the couch and sits down. Melanie follows, sitting beside him. MELANIE Baby, I'm worried...You've changed so much since you lost your title...It's like I don't know who you are anymore... RAGDOLL What do you WANT from me, Mel? MELANIE I want the OLD Austin Baker back! Can't you see that?! -Ragdoll shakes his head as Melanie rubs his arm, suddenly stopping. Her eyes go wide as she looks down, feeling around more. MELANIE Wha...What are these holes, baby? Are...Are these NEEDLE marks?! RAGDOLL ...mosquitos... MELANIE ...Are you doing heroin?! RAGDOLL Baby, don... MELANIE YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE CLEAN AND SOBER! RAGDOLL I was...I am... MELANIE DON'T GIVE ME THAT SHIT! WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?! RAGDOLL Stop screaming, Mel... MELANIE NO! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, AUSTIN?! -Ragdoll suddenly stands, attempting to stagger away, but Melanie jumps up and grabs his arm. Ragdoll spins around, an angry look in his bloodshot eyes. MELANIE DO NOT WALK AWAY FROM ME, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN ME OR YOUR PRECIOUS FUCKING HEROIN! RAGDOLL I said stop yelli... MELANIE Or what, Austin? What're you going to do, tough guy? Huh? You could hardly even beat Mad Matt...you needed that slut Josie and me...You are pathe... -WHACK!! Melanie suddenly clutches her face and falls backward onto the couch. Ragdoll lowers his hand as he rushes towards her, grabbing her by the shirt collar. Melanie raises her hands to try and block the slaps, but Ragdoll's strength quickly gets the best of her. Melanie screams as she continues to cover up. RAGDOLL I'M PATHETIC?! I'M PATHETIC?! LOOK AT YOU, YOU WHORE! YOU CLAIM TO BE THE TOUGHEST BITCH IN THIS FED?! FIGHT BACK!! I NEVER FUCKING NEEDED YOU! NEVER! YOU HEAR ME?! DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?! -Ragdoll suddenly stops the beating, his panting and Melanie's sobbing being the only noises heard in the room. Ragdoll slowly pulls out a cigarette, puts it into his mouth, and lights it. Once again, the psychotic smile crosses his face as he looks down at his fiancee. The camera fades to black as he walks away slowly.