Zack Malibu

Shannon Moore vs. someone like Dutt, or Aries or Sabin. Probably Sabin actually, since he did a dark match against him. That way he and AJ can faceoff at the next PPV due to the attack at the tapings. If they can't get Kidman to take on Raven, then who? It seems that they're positioning Raven as more of the face lately, so I doubt it'd be someone like Sandman who is guaranteed a babyface pop. They tried for Kidman but he's not hearing it, unless they manage. Maybe Perry Saturn?

Well as long as we've got people writing, apparently people give a shit, so that part of your opinion is null and void. Papa, if you've noticed, my AIM time got cut down drastically in the last six months or so, due to some more responsibility at work, classes on top of that, and just the stressors of life in general. I used to be able to AIM it up a lot at work, post HD for us and everything, and a lot of that freedom has lessened, although I do get some posting/writing time in while on the clock (such as now). As for FFMS calling us "Dumb As Fuck", well, Pot. Kettle. Black. I love how the only negative opinions of this place are from people who a)have no idea what it is, or b)did something that pissed everyone rightfully involved in the company off.

Comparing the financial information of the companies shouldn't be a part of what we think is worst. TNA is still a money loser but they've had more enjoyable matches and storylines this year than WWE has. Comparing overall entertainment value, count me among those who enjoyed WCW in 2000 MUCH more than WWE this year. There was a time in my life where I taped every damn RAW, SD!, Nitro, Thunder, ECW, etc. without hesitation. Now I still tape RAW but don't kick myself if I forget, and tape SD! maybe once in a blue moon if they have a match or storyline that appeals to me. WCW in 2000 had the New Blood angle which, while it failed, was still something a bit fresh and worth giving a chance to. The use of Lance Storm was the best in WCW 2000 than in ECW or WWF/E. Three Count, The Jung Dragons, and The Filthy Animals were putting on entertaining spotfests. The emergence of the Natural Born Thrillers, a favorite stable of mine. Hell, even Ernest Miller's use as the GM entertained me, because he was pretty quick and funny on the mic. The failed Goldberg turn, the Arquette stunt, the Russo/World Title deal...sure, they were all things that sent the company spiraling downward, but I still found WCW to be more entertaining during those sagas than the current WWE product based around people like Chris Masters, The Boogeyman, or the new LOD. I never expect to see a **** match on RAW anymore (last one was Shelton/Michaels), and with the talent on that roster, it's amazing why more above-average matches don't take place. Smackdown has the better tag roster, but it's still always the same few teams battling over the belts, and a Cruiserweight division that could rival the X Division, yet has it's legs cut off. At least WCW, for all their faults, never told any of their cruisers to hold back in the ring.

Suddenly, as Triple C are verbally battling one another, the screen goes snowy. Static fills the screen, but not Scotty Static...until the actual static fades and the face of the Upstarts resident spokesman is seen in the clear. STATIC Testing...testing...are we on? A voice off-camera asks "is the red light on?" STATIC Uh, yeah. Off camera, Jamie O'Hara is heard shouting "We in the red light dissstriiiict!". The camera pans over to him, and catches Christian Wright slugging him in the shoulder. WRIGHT Way to give us away, Feminem. O'HARA You steppin' to me son? Just 'cuz you use hundred dolla words don't mean your fists are money too! O'Hara goes ghetto and is about to throw down, when Bohemoth, wearing sunglasses despite the fact it appears to be about 7pm EST and pitch black outside, lowers them, intimidating the young thug to back down. STATIC Easy you two. Johnny J., you got that camera ready for this? JAX Let's do it. Jax's camera work is shaky, as he follows behind the group of Static, O'Hara, Wright and the big man, Bohemoth. All of a sudden, Static breaks into a voiceover as he leads the group through an empty parking lot and towards a tall office building that appears to be closed for the holidays. STATIC Gentlemen, welcome to the first ever tour of the OAOAST Home Offices, provided kindly to you by the Global Party Exchange on behalf of The Upstarts. Due to a scheduling conflict, no one will be in the offices during the tour, so you will not get to see those asses that have been smeared with the lip prints of The Originals for the past three years. However, you will find such important information as home addresses for your Christmas card needs... JAX Scotty...it's the 27th, dude. STATIC Do you only send out Christmas cards one year and then stop? JAX Well, no. STATIC Exactly! Get a jump on things! O'HARA Yo man, I'm chillin', and I don't mean chillin'...can we get in here and get our heat on or whizz-at? JAX Damn Jamie, Scotty and I had to play the role of slang spewin' party boys for years and I still have no idea what the hell you just said. BOHEMOTH Inside. With that one word uttered, Bo readies to use himself as a human battering ram and charge through the door, until Scotty jumps in his way. STATIC Whoooooa big man, hold up. I just happen to have the key to the problem! WRIGHT What if they've taken the proper measures for security, Scotty? STATIC Dude, would YOU be afraid of Charlie Hoss? Static reaches into his pocket and pulls out...a key! (c'mon, what did you THINK he was going to pull out?) (PS: Anyone who took that in the perverted sense needs to stop. Now. kthxbye. We now return to the segment.) A chuckle breaks out from each individual in the group at the mention of the OAOAST's former Head of Security for HeldDOWN~!. After fumbling for a minute, Static gets the door open! The Upstarts enter the home office, but the victory is short-lived, as the alarm to the building sounds as soon as the door shuts behind them! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WRIGHT Jesus, that's more annoying than a COD interview! Did you get the alarm code? Static looks at Wright, puzzled. WRIGHT Aw, fu... STATIC Haha, gotcha! Of course I got the code! Wright just rolls his eyes as Static makes his way to the codekey and punches in the numerical sequence that stops the annoying alarm. STATIC All right gentlemen, we are in business! The Upstarts scatter, each of them moving into different rooms and through different hallways. Johnny Jax can't keep up with everyone, so he chooses to tag along with Wright and Bo first. WRIGHT Well looky here, Bo. Looks like we found ourselves in the home of a cowboy! JAX Look what else we found...check out this note on his desk! Wright comes over to the desk and picks up the paper, holding it up VERY close to the camera lens, then pulling back and reading it. WRIGHT Call Agnes...fax contractual options...dear Lord this company must be desperate if they're offering Agnes a contract again. Actually...let's see... Wright picks up the paper and tears it in two, then in fours, and eventually just makes it into confetti and throws it in the air. JAX It's a celebration, bitches! WRIGHT Well yessir indeedy, that's how we do it here on the ranch, like that fellow John Wayne did to them redskins back in the day! Bo snickers at Wright's attempt at Southern twang as he moves around the office of Bill Watts, who has been positioned as a figurehead of sorts for the company by the corporate office. Wright starts opening every drawer in sight, when suddenly the phone rings, and he freezes. Bo just looks down at the phone, and neither seem to know what to do. JAX Should we get that? Wright inches towards the desk, and then quickly grabs the phone before he rethinks it too much. WRIGHT OAOAST Corporate, how may I direct your call? REALLY!? Well, I'll be damned. What can I do for...no, no I'm sorry we can't. No...no seriously, we can't . There's not any space on the roster for you. No, we're still having trouble getting the dead weight off of ours...I'm sure you know what that's like! Yes but...look, no, no we're not interested. I said NO! Have you taken too many guitars to the head? Look, I don't give a damn if that's how you roll! Wright's face is red with anger, while Jax laughs, causing the camera to shake. Before Wright can snap completely, Bo takes the phone from him and just hangs it up, then nonchalantly exits the room. JAX Christian, you have fun, I'm gonna go see what the others are up to. Jax turns and goes down a hall, then stops dead in his tracks and focuses in on a large framed photograph at the end of the hallway. JAX Guys, check this out! Jamie O'Hara is the first on the scene, peeking his head out of an office door and then coming into the hall, stuffing something into his pocket. JAX What'd you get? O'HARA Pens. JAX What the hell do you need pens for? O'HARA Who said I needed them? If it's free, it's fo' me! JAX Whatever man, but look at that. Guys, check it! The sounds of the rest of the Upstarts coming together in the hall can be heard, as Jax plays with the zoom lens, closing in (and then pulling back, and then closing in again) on a framed photograph of an OAOAST legend... ...FRANK STALLONE~! STATIC Dear God, that'd give me nightmares if I had to look at that every...Jamie, what the hell are you doing? O'Hara moves towards the photo and takes it by the sides, sliding it off the wall. O'HARA I might be able to get a few Benjamins fo' this on Ebay! STATIC That's Frank Stallone, Jamie. If you ship that to someone, they'd probably hunt you down and stab you to death with a salad fork. O'HARA Fuck it, I'm takin' it. WRIGHT Fuck it. Ah, what an eloquent young man. O'HARA You know, I don't know the meaning of that word, so I'm gonna take it as disrespect. Watch yo' mouth, cousin. WRIGHT I can assure you wholeheartedly that we are of no relation. O'HARA Yeah, cuz yo' mama didn't have sex! WRIGHT What!? O'HARA You know! Wright mumbles something incoherent as the group continues through the offices. Static starts flipping through a pile of papers during the walk, making sounds of disgust as he does. JAX Whatcha got their, partner. STATIC Just a few copies of contracts. Do you know Caboose gets more money to sit on his ass on that damn sofa than we do combined? JAX No shit? And they say we don't have good reasoning to do what we do. STATIC Damn straight, Johnny Jam. Let's see, who else do we have in this pile. Tony...screw him. Sooner Bruisers...NRG...what the? Who the hell is Max Zorin? A collective "Who" emerges from the mouths of all the Upstarts. STATIC Says he was in The Boogie Knights with a guy named Kotzenjunge? Another collective "Who" comes from everyone. STATIC Eh, if we ain't heard of 'em, they're nobodies. JAX Boogie Knights? Sounds like a second rate GPX to me. STATIC HA! Get this...apparently Bohemoth's real name is Walter! Everyone freezes, and the big man turns and lowers his glasses, glaring at Static, who takes a big gulp. STATIC J..just, uh, kidding man. Everyone keeps walking, but you can hear Static nudge cameraman Jax and whisper "not really" as they continue ransacking the place. The "tour" continues, and the Upstarts come to a door that leads them into a large storage wharehouse portion of the building. Again they scatter, picking items off the shelves and surveying them, although O'Hara does it slowly as he has to make sure not to drop the framed photo of Frank Stallone. STATIC Look at this stuff...ha! Check it out Johnny, our first action figures! Kids, bug your parents to get these, they're definite collectors items! JAX Dude I hate the way they made my face. Real scan technology my ass. I look like I'm taking a shit. STATIC What'd you guys find? Jax twirls around and zooms in on Wright, who is displaying a T-shirt for the camera. WRIGHT Check it out...Northstar T-shirts! These things are still in production? JAX No, I just don't think they sold any. WRIGHT HAHA, excellent point J... "AAAAATCHOOOOO!" WRIGHT Ugh, dammit Bo, cover your mouth. I just bathed myself in your flem and mucus. Here. Wright tosses Bo the Northstar shirt, and he proceeds to blow his nose on it, then folds it up nicely and sticks it back on the shelf. BOHEMOTH Good as new. Bo and Wright continue surveying the shelves of shirts, looking to see what other treasures they find. Meanwhile a little further down, Jamie O'Hara goes klepto, shoving DVD's into his pants, and throwing a GPX logo hat on, tilting it to the side for full ghetto effect. WRIGHT I'd hate to think of how many Damaramu shirts are left. STATIC That's easy...none. WRIGHT You serious? STATIC They never bothered to produce them. One of the few smart things this friggin' company has managed. Talk about a money loser. All of a sudden, the door swings open, and the Upstarts all turn, fearful that they're about to be busted by... ...the maintenance man. Wearing a brown derby hat that covers his eyes, and a red and green striped sweater, the janitor starts tending to the floor, as if he doesn't even notice The Upstarts in the room. O'HARA Yo, uh...'scuse me? But we're kinda busy in here. Suddenly, the janitor starts laughing. First it's soft, but as the laughter grows, so does the sound level. Hahahahaha...hahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! O'Hara steps back, eyes widened, as the other Upstarts just shrug when he looks to them. JANITOR HAHAHAHA...BOO! BOO! I'M THE BOOGEYMAN, AND I'M COMIN' TO GETCHA! O'Hara just stands there with his eyebrows raised, pens in his pockets, DVD's in his underwear, and a Frank Stallone photo in his arms. O'HARA No you're not, you're the janitor. JANITOR I, uh... STATIC Wait, he's not just the janitor, he's Mario Logan! Look! Scotty Static pulls the hat off of the janitor to reveal the OAOAST's longtime horror freak, and leader of the Dungeon of Doom. LOGAN So, you guys were wondering what happened to me, huh? Static puts an arm around the Freddy fan, and walks with him, as Jax captures the moment. STATIC Actually Mario, I don't think anyone gives a damn. JAX HEY! Wait, Scotty...you know Logan was one of the ORIGINAL OAOASTers! STATIC HE WAS!? Oh well in that case then... Static pulls away from Logan, and delivers a back mule kick to the nuts! Logan cowers, and then Wright picks up the mop bucket and dumps it over his head, sending dirty mop water spilling all over the place before Big Bo delivers a running big boot to the bucket covered head of the freakshow superstar! The Upstarts stand over Logan, and O'Hara reaches down and picks up the hat, then puts it on his head over the GPX logo hat, as all the Upstarts just stare at him. O'HARA What!? WRIGHT Hey, check it out! Wright calls to his allies, pointing out a large trophy case, displaying historical OAOAST Title Belts! WRIGHT Are you pondering what I'm pondering? STATIC OK, you just sounded like the guy from Animaniacs, and that scares me. I think I know how we can get this open... Before even asking, Bohemoth backs up, then runs forward and drives his boot through the glass, sending shrapnel into the air and the Upstarts ducking for cover! O'HARA Yo, watch yo'self homey! STATIC DAMN IT! Bo, why did you do that? BOHEMOTH You said you knew how to get it open. STATIC Yes, maybe with THIS!? Static reaches into his pocket and reveals another key, which Bohemoth simply shrugs off. STATIC All right let's see what we got...one for you, one for you, one for... O'HARA Yo playa, what the hell is an F13 Champion? JAX I think Crystal was given that belt after taking on that many guys in the locker room at once. O'HARA Snap, Crackle, Pop, playa! As Bohemoth looks down at the OAOAST HardKore Championship that has been handed to him, he questions stealing the belts. BOHEMOTH Are you sure this is a good idea? Static, who is too busy fastening the OAOAST Adrenalin Championship around his waist, is quick to retort. STATIC Dude, they have like what, EIGHT belts on the show right now? They probably won't even notice! The Upstarts drape themselves in championship gold, stealing all the retired championships from the case. O'Hara is the last one to the case, left with the OAOAST European Championship, which he quickly fastens around...his neck? O'HARA Bling bling, playa! I'm ballin' now! Static looks at the belt he's got in his hand, the OAOAST North American championship, and tosses it to Jamie. STATIC You can have this one, you need something to keep those pants up. O'HARA Hater. WRIGHT Well, what have we here? Christian Wright makes another discovery, this time finding a rolled up banner. They tear the ropes that have fastened it together apart, and unravel it to reveal... ...THE OAOAST LOGO BANNER! STATIC Christian, Bo, Jamie...grab this. I've got an idea. Bring that with us. Johnny, keep that camera rolling, this is gonna be goooooooooooooooooood. JAX Whatever it is, make it quick, I got a flashing battery light here, brah. STATIC Nah, this shouldn't take long. Here, back to the parking lot. Static opens one of the side doors, and the group exits the structure, walking back outside into the chilled winter air. They walk towards one of the lights in the lot, and unravel the banner under it, laying it on the pavement. WRIGHT So, what act of tyranny do you have planned for this fabric? Static comes over and huddles up with the Upstarts, and Wright is quick to pull away. WRIGHT That's vile, that's downright reprehensible. I LOVE it. STATIC Let's get to it then. Johnny, you might not wanna zoom in on this though. JAX What the he...WHY ARE YOU GUYS DROPPING YOUR PANTS? The Upstarts, with their backs to the camera, fiddle with their zippers and reveal more of themselves than was ever needed to be seen on an OAOAST show, though thankfully they have their backs turned, so it's left to the imagination. Moments later, a soft sound, similar to a buzzing noise is heard. The Upstarts are PISSING ON THE OAOAST BANNER! JAX Hahahaha, this is so aces. They're gonna haaaaaaaaaaaaate usssssssssss! Wright, Static, and O'Hara finish, but Bohemoth is still going strong. O'HARA Damn, big man, what'd you do, drink two Big Gulps and break the seal today? STATIC Hey, a big guy like that just has some extra storage space. O'HARA YOU LOOKED? You queer! STATIC I didn't look! And who are you calling a queer...you're parading around with a picture of Frank Stallone under your arm! O'HARA I told you, it's not for me! STATIC Oh whatev...wait...you hear that? The Upstarts stop dead in their tracks, and the faint sounds of sirens can be heard in the distance. WRIGHT That bastard Logan must have called the authorities on us! O'HARA Then let's get to steppin', kid! C'mon! The Upstarts all make a break for it, running to their SUV parked across the parking lot...except for Bo, who's still letting the yellow juice loose! Static gets behind the wheel of the vehicle, with Jax taking shotty and the others piling into the back, and they peel out, driving rapidly through the parking lot before Scotty slams on the brakes besides Bo. Jax, who still has the camera out, zooms in on Bo's face, because the wide shot is not exactly family friendly viewing. JAX Dude, are you done or what? BOHEMOTH Yeah yeah, hang on. Bo zips up and calmly gets into the vehicle, and Static throws it back into drive and speeds off before they get caught red-handed, while Jax closes in on the piss-stained logo of the company as they veer off, the sight of police cars filling the OAOAST Home Office parking lot the last thing we see before the battery in the camera dies.

Just an FYI for you Tony, the Diablos/GPX match is done, save for me putting the entrances in. If you'd like to make any type of edits, or add in any AC-style commentary (cut to the brackets after the match, etc.) then feel free.

According to Da Meltz, Dusty Rhodes is the current top choice to insert in the GM role.

Getting an early start on things! I'll work on this here and like usual, update when I'm done. COLE Up next we have a first round match as part of the Anderson Cup tag team tournament, featuring last years winners, and one of the newer teams on the OAOAST scene. COACH Yeah, not to mention earlier tonight the Global Party Exchange were put at a severe disadvantage by being jumped by Zack Malibu and the rest of The Originals! COLE Oh please...severe disadvantage? Give me a break. Missy Elliot's "Work It" hits, and from the back, dancing and prancing, come the popular-yet-prissy Mexicans that are taking the OAOAST by storm. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, set for one fall, is a first round match in the ANDERSON CUP! Approaching the ring at this time, at a combined weight of three hundred and forty pounds, Mariachi and Moracca, LOS DIABLOS DEL FUEGO~! The two fey Luchadores come out, leading Chicks Over Dicks own Alix Spezia by the hand! COACH Well look, it's just mass gender confusion here tonight on HeldDOWN~! As the lights strobe, the Diablos pump and thrust their way to the ring, with Alix following close behind. Some of the male fans at ringside aren't so lucky (or are, I mean, who's to judge...) as the Diablos plant a few smooches on their cheeks before entering the ring. COACH They better not get near me, that's all I know. COLE It'd be the most you've gotten in months! The Mexican Phat Dance is broken up by the sound of "Make Her Say" replacing Missy Elliot's dance anthem, and the once popular theme song receives nothing but jeers upon it's cue. COACH Yeah, here we go! Defending champs right here! Last years winners of The Anderson Cup, and key Upstart members Johnny Jax and Scotty Static, aka the Global Party Exchange, emerge from the back, looking more displeased with their current situation than ever before. COLE It has been a long night for the GPX before they even set foot in the ring, and now they have to contend with this fast rising team out of Cabo San Lucas! BUFFER Now coming down the aisle, the opponents. They weigh in at a combined weight of four hundred, twenty five pounds, and are the winners of last years Anderson Cup...JOHNNY JAX, SCOTTY STATIC...THE GLOBAL PARTY EXCHANGE! The GPX, who at one point bopped and hopped to the ring like they had ADD and took caffeine pills, simply approach the ring quietly and hop inside. Neither man looks happy with what's gone on so far tonight, and having to face the eccentric duo from Mexico has obviously not changed that tune. As the bell sounds, Static and Jax stay put, wary of moving towards the effeminate luchadores who are thrusting their pelvis' in their direction. Jax then pats Static on the shoulder and steps out of the ring, leaving Scotty to take a deep sigh, not enthused about being left to start the contest off for the Global Party Exchange. COLE One of the most dominant tag teams in OAOAST history are about to square off with one of the most unusual teams we've ever seen, and coming from a company like ours, that's saying a LOT! CABOOSE The GPX are looking for a repeat performance in this year's Cup, especially now that their new attitudes reflects their motivation. Winning the Cup would be yet another coup for The Upstarts in their quest to be receieved on the same level as The Originals. Mariachi offers to start, and his partner gives him a quick buttslap before moving out to the apron. As he and Static circle each other. Mariachi drops to all fours and makes a kissy face at Scotty Static, then moves forward...but the homophobic Static rushes out of the ring and hops to the floor! Mariachi rolls to his feet and does a little hip swivel that draws a loud pop from the crowd, while Static slams his hands on the apron and tells the fans to shut their yaps (although he actually says "shut up", but shut your yaps was just so much more descriptive!). That only increases the admiration of the man-loving luchadores, and the crowd finds another way to get under Static's skin. "LOS DIABLOS!" clap clap clapclapclap "LOS DIABLOS!" clap clap clapclapclap "LOS DIABLOS!" clap clap clapclapclap Infuriated by the crowd support for the flamboyant duo, Static slides back into the ring and charges! Mariachi waves him on, then sidesteps the charge, sending Scotty to the ropes! He leaps up for a monkey flip, but Scotty shoves him down to his feet and then grabs a side headlock. He wrenches the Mexican's head, although not in the way Mariachi had hoped...so it fuels Mariachi to slip his head free and grab a rear waistlock...and feel Scotty up! Disgusted, Static pulls away and brushes himself off, while the crowd roars! Mariachi blows a kiss to Static to fuel his rage some more, and when Scotty charges, he runs right into a drop toehold! Mariachi then gets up and hits the surfboard, although not in the usual wrestling sense...instead, he literally stands on the back of Scotty Static and makes like he's riding the waves! Jax comes in and tries to run interference, but Mariachi hops off Static and starts thrusting towards Jax! Johnny puts his hands up and quietly steps back out to the apron as if he was never in the ring in the first place. CABOOSE It seems that the GPX are intimidated by their foes, because they're not able to get this off the ground yet. COLE If you were Mariachi or Moracca you wouldn't want them to get off the ground either! CABOOSE HA! Cole, you kill me. COACH Yo, whattabout... CABOOSE He kills me. I want to kill you. Big difference. Static rises to his feet, but Mariachi takes his arm and twists, and delivers an elbow to Scotty's forearm. As Static staggers, Mariachi pulls him into a standing headscissors, thrusting his hips as he leads Scotty's head between his knees...but Static counters by taking his legs out from under him, then delivering a vicious stomp to the nether regions! COACH Haha, yeah boy! Show 'em how it's done Scotty! Mariachi reels, and an infurated Moracca runs in and clobbers Scotty with some right hands for what he just did, only to be pushed away by Nick Patrick! Patrick orders him out, but Moracca is concerned with the well-being of his tag team and life partner, and checks on his condition, aiding in his recovery by giving him a quick rub! COLE Now that's sportsmanship. Only a true friend could rub another man's genitals in public. CABOOSE ...we're just "work friends", right? Because I can't do that for you. Moracca helps Mariachi to his feet and gives him another buttslap, sending him on his way back into action. Static and Mariachi tie up, and Static goes behind, then pulls the Mexican stars legs out from under him, sending him falling face first into the canvas! Static then drops an elbow to the back of his head, and then starts rubbing his face in the canvas, smearing and grinding it into the mat! Mariachi moans in pain, but it's muffled as Static continues the act of face-mashing. Scotty then pulls him up to his feet and delivers a standing dropkick to the back of the neck, sending Mariachi through the ropes! The luchadore hangs on, and slowly pulls himself up, then clocks Static with a forearm to defend himself as Scotty charges him! Static falls back a few steps, and then Mariachi bursts back into the ring with a springboard spinning leg lariat! Mariachi then hops up on the middle rope, but before he can come down onto his fallen foe, Jax pushes him off the ropes! Mariachi reacts quickly, as he lands on his feet and then shoots his body through the ropes, ramming his shoulder into Jax's stomach! He then reaches over the ropes and takes Johnny over, dropping the other half of the GPX onto his own partner with a suplex! COLE Mariachi just used Scotty Static's OWN PARTNER on him to inflict punishment, and the GPX have scattered! Both members of the GPX roll out to the floor, each one on an opposite side of the ring. After engaging in a celebratory dance with his partner, Mariachi races up the ropes, as does Moracca. With the members of the Global Party Exchange still stunned, the Diablos leap into action...LITERALLY, as they hit stereo flip planchas from the top rope down onto their opponents! CABOOSE Aerial assault! The GPX are down! The fans applaud, as Alix Spezia leads them into a frenzy as she applauds her two amigos (amigas?) when they pop up to their feet and roll into the ring, where they do a celebratory train dance around the ring before breaking apart and giving the crowd some more thrust action! COACH Ya know, what's this yak hanging out with the Fruit Loops for anyways? Doesn't she know she's just wasting her time? CABOOSE Does it bother you that women pay more attention to gay Mexican wrestlers than you? Don't be bitter now. The GPX dust themselves off and come up onto the apron, and Static is pulled back in by both Diablos with a double hiptoss! Jax protests, but Nick Patrick orders him to the corner! Moracca ducks out, but seconds later he's tagged in legally, and the Diablos work together, sending him into the ropes and throwing him overhead with a high elevation backdrop! Mariachi goes out to the apron while Alix directs traffic for the eccentric duo, rooting on Moracca as he backs Scotty into the ropes once again. He sends him off the ropes, but Static reverses the momentum and sends Moracca into the ropes...and right into a kick to the back from Johnny! Moracca staggers right into a rana from Static, and with the alternative lifestyle superstar dizzied from the move, a tag is made to bring Johnny Jackson into the contest! COLE Tag made by Static, and Jax isn't too happy about the way Los Diablos have toyed with them so far. Jax bursts into the ring and clobbers Moracca in the back of the head with a running forearm, then stands him up and breaks for the ropes, delivering a hard lariat as he rebound! Moracca goes back to the mat, but Jax pulls him up and takes him by the head, then runs him to the corner and hurls him headfirst into the top turnbuckle! Moracca reels back, and Jax takes him and lifts him off his feet, then drops him on the top rope and seats him there! Johnny then climbs up as well, but as he attempts to yank the luchadore off the top rope, Moracca fights back by firing some back elbows that knock Johnny down to the canvas, but when Moracca tries to stand on the top rope, Jax gets up and charges the corner, knocking him off balance and causing him to crotch himself on the top! The crowd "oooooooooooooooooh's" with sympathy pains, while Mariachi bites his nails over watching his partner take that hit! Jax then pulls him down into a Tree of Woe and stomps away, wearing him out so that he's even more prone to assault! CABOOSE Johnny Jax is really opening up with those kicks to the chest and chin. COACH Yeah, the two places Alix Spezia likes people to make their deposits, if you pick up what I'm puttin' down! CABOOSE Yes, because talking like THAT will get you laid! COACH Ya mama. Jax moves across the ring to the opposite corner, but as he charges across the canvas, Moracca manages to flip himself off the turnbuckles, and connect with a jumping back elbow to Jackson! He brings Jax up, but Johnny fights back by hooking his arms, and pulling him over with a backslide...but Moracca floats through! He takes Johnny's legs out from under him, putting him on his back...then spreads Johnny's legs and falls on top of him, missionary style! A few quick thrusts is all it takes to have the crowd roaring and Jax rolling away ASAP, seeking refuge in the GPX corner! CABOOSE You know that society is evolving when THAT gets a babyface pop! Jax charges from the corner and fires off a running YAKUZA KICK~!, but Moracca rolls under it and leaps onto the middle rope, then dives off and twists his body around to land with a bodypress on him! Johnny throws him off at the count of one, but as he comes up he gets spiked with a quick DDT from the Mexican jumping bean! A tag is then made to Mariachi, and Moracca slingshots his own partner in, sending him over the ropes with a senton onto Johnny before leaping up to the top rope and executing a corkscrew 450 splash! Moracca rolls out of the ring, leaving Johnny all to Mariachi, and a cover is made! ONE! TW-NO! The count is broken up by Static, who races in and boots Mariachi in the head. Nick Patrick gets up angrily and directs Scotty out to the apron, which causes a distraction as Jax strikes with a low blow behind Patrick's back when Mariachi tries bringing him to his feet! The luchadore crumbles in pain, but Johnny grabs him by the throat and stands him up, then presses him over his head and brings him down onto his knee with a gutbuster! He makes his way to his corner and tags in Static, who hops up to the top rope and dives off in cannonball formation before crashing down onto Mariachi with his full weight! COLE Cannonball senton connects! Static rolls over and covers, but just as Patrick hits "two", Moracca runs in the ring and drags Scotty off his partner by the ankle! COACH YO! Get that cakeeater outta there! GPX woulda won this! Moracca steps back out to the apron, but Scotty moves towards him and piefaces him, sending him down to the floor! Alix rushes over to check on him, then hops on the apron herself, getting in the face of her rival! Static snickers, then piefaces HER as well, but when he turns around Mariachi leaps up and brings him over with a rana, and keeps the legs hooked! ONE! TW-NO! Static kicks out, but when he comes up he's struck with a pair of chops, then sent to the ropes...where Jax makes a blind tag! Scotty slides through the legs of the fey fighter and comes up behind him...so that when Mariachi turns around the GPX connects with their Legsweep/Yakuza Kick combo! Jackson covers immediately as Static disappears to the outside... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! ...but Mariachi manages to get a shoulder up! Jax pounds the canvas and then tells Patrick how to count, even though if Nick didn't he wouldn't have made it past kindergarten. At any rate, after the math lesson Jax brings Mariachi up and lifts him onto his shoulders...but the lucha superstar squirms like he's lathered in baby oil, and manages to slip free! He runs Johnny to the ropes for a rollup, but when Jax clings to the ropes to prevent from going over, Mariachi continues to hump away anyways! The action infuriates Johnny and he turns around and charges...right into a hiptoss! Johnny gets up rather quickly, but then gets blasted with a dropkick to the knee that knocks him down to all fours, and Mariachi follows up with La Magistral! ONE! TWO! NO! The former World Tag Team Champion kicks out, but while he's reeling, Mariachi is able to tag in Moracca, much to the delight of the crowd! Jax gets up in a fog, and when he turns around he sees that Moracca is airborne, springboarding into the ring with a sunset flip! ONE! TW-NO! Jax rolls through, and when he comes to his feet he pulls Moracca up, then plants him with a hard powerbomb before falling backwards! He scrambles towards the corner and tags in Static, and with Moracca laid out in the center of the ring, Scotty takes to the air, leaping off the top and twisting around to deliver his trademark senton bomb known as the STATIC SHOCK! COLE That could spell the end for the Diablos! Static covers, counting along with Patrick...until a springboard legdrop from Mariachi puts an end to the count just before the three count! COACH That is the SECOND time they've done that! CABOOSE Compare it to what the GPX has gotten away with in their matches and it doesn't measure up. Kind of like when you use the urinal next to me. The crowd gives the tactic its seal of approval, but when Mariachi goes to exit the ring, an angry Static floors him with a running forearm to the back of the head that sends him spilling out to the floor! Static then motions for Jax to come into the ring, and together they prepare to deliver the hard-hitting trademark known as the Chain Letter...however as Scotty lifts Moracca up for the powerbomb, the feisty Mexican grabs Johnny's head and kicks off of Scotty's shoulders, floating up and over with an inverted DDT to the larger member of the Exchange! Alix leaps off her feet in celebration, but it's short-lived as Scotty delivers a boot and then butterflies the arms of Moracca...only to have the hold broken, as Moracca twists out and pulls Static towards him, then lifts him upside down...AND PLANTS HIM WITH A MARTINETE! COLE It's illegal in Mexico, but it's fair game here! Moracca covers, and the other halves of both teams out on the floor licking their wounds, nothing will get in the way of the three count! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! CABOOSE They did it! Los Diablos Del Fuego have just made a HUGE impression on the OAOAST by defeating last years winners in the first round! The crowd goes BANANA~! as "Work It" is cued up, signalling the biggest win of the Diablos career. Mariachi gets up and enters the ring, rushing into his partner's waiting arms! Moracca scoops his partner up and gives him a big ol' love hug, while Alix Spezia comes in and joins the party. COLE Look at how happy they are...and the people love it! CABOOSE Well, gay does mean happy, so it's fairly appropriate to use that term tonight! On the outside of the ring, Jax helps Static, who is holding his head, to walk steadily. The Global Party Exchange have had the carpet swept out from under them by the underdog team, and it's not something that the Upstarts contingent will take lightly. CABOOSE Well Coach, looks like there's not going to be a clean sweep of the tournmanet by any of your Upstart buddies, and look who you have to thank for it. COLE Heh, hey Caboose...these two guys get more women than Coach could, and they don't even LIKE them! COACH Why don't you shut up you half a sissy...you belong up their with them. You Streisand. COLE Eat me. COACH Oh you'd like that now wouldn't you. Los Diablos dip out of the ring and hold Alix's hand as she hops down from the apron. They walk up the aisle fueled by the cheers of the fans, and stop to hug and plant kisses on several (male) fans cheeks before disappearing from sight.

Yankees logo keychain, the letter "D" written in Olde English type (first initial of my last name), keyless entry for my Impala, a Shaw's Supermarket card, a CVS card, key to my car, two keys for the house, key to the office/wharehouse.

Happy holidays to all of you involved with our favorite little e-fed. Now, all this thread needs is someone beltshotting Santa Claus and we're set!

El Gigante, Dustin Rhodes, Big Josh and The Freebirds were all released overseas (England mostly, IIRC). We actually had an El Gigante mint in the box (stored in a case) at work for a while a few years back before putting it up on Ebay.

Hung out with her last week, actually. Mole, I'll keep you posted.

Well, now it's officially a whoring thread~! ::canned laughter, followed by canned tuna.::

::pees on you::

You know, I've barely been on lately with the Xmas rush at work and all, so thanks to all who said happy b-day in one form or another. Needless to say, that night was some fun shit. A restaurant/sports bar was put into the same building as "my" coffee shop (my hangout that I help manage sometimes) and we got in good with the staff there, so they hosted my bash. My friends, who are a very good rock cover band that's gotten some airplay on a local rock station here, booked a gig there and advertised it around our area as the "Zack Malibu Birthday Bash". We had about 50-60 people show up for my party alone, in addition to the usual crowd of concert goers and clientele for the restaurant. They blew up my old senior pic (complete with surfer boy wavy hair and gear) and plastered it around the place, and screenprinted it onto my cake, which read "Zack Malibu My Ass! Happy Birthday!"...and was then dumped on my head. Twice. In addition to the festivities, I made my onstage debut with the band. During their rendition of "Careless Whisper" (one of my favorite songs ever), they always break into something else before going back to the original song. Well, when it was time for the transition, I was called onstage to perform the song that they segued into...Ice, Ice Baby. I cut the whole rap even in my semi-inebriated state, and got a Hogan-sized pop for it before busting into the dance that made me famous back at Pleasure Island. It got over so well that last night at a local clubs Christmas Party that the band played at, they shockingly called me onstage to perform it again, so I'm now "part of the show" for the next few gigs it seems. Gift-wise, I bought myself a NEW CAR~! (2005 fully loaded Chevy Impala), mostly money from the fam. From friends I got such gifts as a Pop-Up Kama Sutra, Ultra Thin condoms, some DVD's and gift cards, and more of the usual lot. My digital camera broke during the party, so I only got like ten pics off, but once I can leech them off my friends webshots/photobucket/etc. I'll share some with you all.

::dances::

If there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it.

Yessir.

It's appropriate that a thread started by Hoff includes something about black man filling. Now the joke will always relate to him.

I've got you beat. I own the movie...and like it.

WWE Championship: Triple H © vs. John Cena WWE Title: Randy Orton © vs. Chris Benoit Interpromotional Grudge Match: Batista and Hulk Hogan vs. Kurt Angle and Big Show Money In The Bank 2 (winner gets a shot at World Championship): Rob Van Dam vs. Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Masters vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Gregory Helms Interpromotional: Edge vs. Undertaker Interpromotional: Shawn Michaels vs. Rey Mysterio Booker T. vs. Bobby Lashley Tag Team Turmoil for the WWE Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Mexicools vs. Nunzio/Vito vs. LOD vs. The Dicks vs. Regal/Burchill vs. London/Spanky Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

Hoff and Black Lushus will also vouch for Kelly Clarkson. The numbers are growing. I'm no longer the only one.

I haven't wrapped anything yet.

Holla.

Providence College for sure, and possibly Brown as well, due to the storyline with Seth and Summer coming here for college. Josh Schwartz (the creator) is from RI, so that's most likely how those schools were picked for the characters.

As always, I share with you here in the GCF (seeing as how you're my core group of TSM buddies for the most part) some pictures from my 25th birthday bash last week. My friends band booked a gig at a local sports bar (which is next door to the coffee shop I hang out at and help manage at times) and we had 50+ people show up. I got tipsy, I got my cake dumped on my head...it was quite a night. I also made my onstage debut with the band, as we did a rendition of "Ice, Ice Baby" rapped by yours truly, which got a Hogan-esque pop from the friends in attendance. Myself, a few drinks into the night, lol. It's been photoshopped to look OMG COOL N' BLURRY, but this was a chunk of the crowd rocking out with the band. Cakefaced. I'll have more (my camera broke that night, so I'm leeching off everyone's webshots), but just wanted to share some with all y'all.