Modern Man's Hustle

Penetration is what it boils down to.

I think that kinda tells you what it is.

Classic.

This could be a good idea. You should have a poll or something before you start writing this to see what the people want to hear about. Unless you're going to just do the board in general....because, personally, if you're doing the whole board, I'll pass. I really don't care what the WWE kids are up to.

Some people have hideous signatures of rat people that take up half the page, so no matter how much you want to skip past them, you're forced to be reminded of them?

Thanks for explaining to me why it's called "SKIN"emax. I've got a nickname for you. It's "Douchebag." From now on, I'll only refer to you as your nickname. Do you have a problem with that?

I don't understand why he feels the need to release a new CD every time he's in a movie, that's all. When I, Robot came out I fully expected there to be a jammin' new single. Will Smith and I'm battlin' ROBOTS When I was a kid I used to play with GOBOTS DO THE ROBOT! Or something equally good. Then it's on TRL, then he performs it everywhere he goes...I hate Will Smith.

Are you incapable of typing "Cinemax"?

OMG U KEN C HER B00BZ ITZ PR0NAGRPHY.

Has anyone here played The Punisher yet? I rented it for X-Box the other day and was stuck on the game for a couple of days. Absolutely great stuff, with a lot of cameos from other Marvel characters. It reminded me of Max Payne, only with much better graphics and a touch of Red Faction II. That may not make sense, but all around, a great game. Give it a rent and you'll see what I mean.

I'm so high, nothing can hurt me.

Joke would have to be funny for me to ruin it.

That's a trick.

Really? Softcore shows no penetration? There's no penetration because they're not even coming close to having sex. I don't believe it's a "marketing" standpoint, either. You can't buy stuff they show on Cinemax at a porn store, can you? No? Not pornography. Jesus Christ.

It's not porn, Dale. They're actors....acting. The stuff on "Skinemax" doesn't even come close to porn. Ever seen a lesbian show on Cinemax? You can actually see large gabs in between them while they're "screaming in orgasm". It's acting. Is any love scene in a movie porn to you? Was Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thornton in Monster's Ball porn? Because it's the same equivalent.

Spectacular.

That's good, too. The microphone stand to the face ended his casino tour, though.

Get his autograph, then bring up how he was doing a casino tour and hit himself in the face with the microphone stand.

Actually, according to the FCC, there's no actual definition. They say, "I know it when I see it." It's very vague. Pretending to have sex with someone isn't porn, kind of like pretending to fight someone isn't really fighting.

Am I the only one that can't stand Will Smith? The only reason I'd see Hitch is because of Kevin James. I'm definitely going to see Constantine on Friday. It'll be great, man. Great.

If it was a club, I would have been prepared ahead of time. I thought this was just a normal house party. Really the only reason we all went down there was because we wanted to crash what we thought was a scenester party. Scenesters like to get down, I guess.

A couple were in mascot costumes. The rest were just wearing skimpy dresses and whatnot.

38 guys and 52 girls. I'd say that's a nice even spread.

I don't know how the better half would feel about me hooking up with some tramp at a party. Besides, the girls weren't even that goodlooking, that's what was so troubling.

I'm gonna do the phone thing, too. Alex Alexa Ali Amanda Amber McDaniel Ansley cell Ansley home Ansley in Tucson Ashley Mountain Ashley Sirls Audrey Beast! Ben Carla Cealia Charles Cherie Chicano Fury cell Chicano Fury house Chris Chris Meador Chronic Colleen Colleen (I don't know which number actually works, I don't think I've ever called) Courtney Dad Dad work Danny Danny H Dave Davy Devil Man Don Garrett Gearred Gearred Cell Hank Hank Gallo Harvey Hillary Home Jenny Jessica Watkins Katie Cell Katie House Kaylin Cell Kaylin House Kaylin in Springerville Kim House Kim Work Kim Cell Kim Duran Kristy Krystal Leanne Little Conrad Liz Loehnis Home Loehnis Cell Lori Mancho Manny Marissa Mark Meghan Mom Monica Nate Nate (don't know which Nate is which) Nathan (in Hawaii on his Mission) Nathan cell Nick Nicole Work Nicole's house line Nicole Cell Pete Quick Ralf Rudy Ruth cell Ruth house Ryan Sam Cell Sam House Samantha Shelley Tara Tim Tobin Tricia Wally Weasel Ying I guess I'm just more popular than the rest of you.