Lord of The Curry

*Undertaker enters his dressing room in a drunken stupor, complete with beergut and "NASCAR 2004" tank top. There is a circle of chairs and seated are Theodore R. Long, Kurt Angle, Eddy Guerrero, JBL, Chief of Staff Orlando Jordan and Paul London*. *Undertaker ignores them and begins rummaging around* Long: Looking for this, Mark? *Long holds up a bottle of JD* *Taker does the zombie eye-roll* Taker: Sweet sweet JD. *Taker begins the zombie walk towards the bottle and is restrained by JBL and Angle* JBL: Ease up, big fella. We're all friends here. We've come to help you. *Taker cocks one eye and glares at JBL* Taker: I told you before.....................I don't need help. I'm fine. Now GIMME THAT BOOOOOOOOZE~!~!~ Long: Now hold up playa. You used to be one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. A locker room leader, somebody the young guys could look up to. Young guys like Orlando Jordan here. Jordan: Hey Mark........remember me? We used to have something going back in the day for 2 episodes. *There is a flicker of recognition in Takers eyes but he doesn't respond* London: Hey, what about me? *JBL punches London in the neck and kicks him in the back* Long: We've called you here because we want you to confront your demons. Angle: Mark, we know that you're drinking before your matches. The staff and the wrestlers have all seen you do it. Now each of us has prepared a statement to let you know how your drinking has affected us. Eddy, I believe that you wanted to go first. Eddy: No I didn't. *Angle smirks* Eddy: What the fuck was that for, holmes? Angle: Nothing. Just read the damn statement. Eddy: Mark, two weeks ago I asked you to look after my daughter while I went out and worked a match. When I came back I found out that you were outside the arena attemping to sell my daughter for a 6 pack of Budweiser. *A tear rolls down Takers cheek ala the old Indian dude from the cigarette commercials* TO BE CONTINUED

This is the greatest thing.......................E-V-E-R. It would be great. Like Sandman 2004 but with more mysoginism and cursing.

This can't possibly qualify as boxing, seeing as how boxing isn't, ya know, fixed.

"The Barfly" Mark Calloway = Ratings. "Hey there pretty lady, I'll show you a good time."- Undertaker, to every single woman on Smackdown.

Something tells me that we'll finally see that clean HHH victory over Benoit very soon..........

I love Arn but there's no way he's better then Benoit (cept on the mic, obviously.) It's been said before but it needs to be said again; Arn would make a great mouthpiece for Benoit.

I'm torn because I LOVED Collateral too but this one, if i see it again, could top Collateral. To be fair I'll probably see them both again.

Not that you know of. It's Test so we can at least be sure it's happened.

That was a grand flick. And yes, very loving. This, to me, is going to be the Lost in Translation of 2004. People are either going to dig how simple, beautiful and sublime the movie is or they'll say "But nothing happened" and choose to rag on it. WHAT WORKED - BRAFF. Now there's only 4 slots left in the Best Actor categories this year. The most perfectly awkward performance in a long, long time. The nervous twitches, the goofy smiles and those eyes that don't miss anything and take in the world like he's a child seeing everything anew. - PORTMAN. Now there's only 4 slots left in the Best Actress categories this year. Performance of her career, bar none. Princess Who? Exactly. She hits this one out of the park and it shows through in everything about her character. - Saasgaard once again proves himself to one of the most talented guys working today (again.) - The Soundtrack was choice. Coldplay, Simon and Garfunkel, The Shins, Iron and Wine amongst others. Great stuff. - The filming style was so......................real. Everything about this movie had a certain feeling of legitimacy to it that came across well. WHAT DIDNT - Not enough Holm.

You mean Backlash 2000 when he was injured and couldn't wrestle until the fall?

Goldberg was over enough and IIRC did good enough ratings-wise as champ to warrant a title-push from the get-go. Steiner could've used the buildup, and by buildup I mean "Let's give the fans a chance to see Scott botching moves on mid-carders before we unleash him on our ME guys".

Hopefully JAxl is drunk when typing this because it takes a special case to drive drunk, make light of the nature of the situation, say they learned no lesson and then when people (rightfully) tear into him for it say "I learnt my lesson and stopped driving."

"Only One" by Yellowcard. God it felt good to get that one out. The violins part totally owns.

It's about 40 mins. long, it's got a rundown of the characters, settings, music and animation. Really good stuff.

When me and Rudo went to ECW in their only show ever in Canada New Jack was supposed to be out with a foot injury. Suffice to say the marking out was at fever pitch when New Jack made a surprise return to do a run-in on Justin Credible and Rhino. One of the biggest live "buckwildshit" moments I've ever been a part of. Thanks for that, Jerome.

Anybody doubting Benoit needs to check out the promo he did in the Bonus Features section of the Royal Rumble 2003 DVD. Or the promo he did in the Special Features section of the Vegence 2002 DVD. Both of them very good.

The pics account for Vince's huge ego, his losing touch with reality is why the ratings are down.

Are you going to actually, ya know, elaborate on your points or just continue to look like a mook and say "Benoit is bad."?

Don't mind the new meat, Banky. He's a goof. I'd say you're spot-on with your assesment.

Just because you've never seen Benoit cut a good promo doesn't mean said promo's don't exist.

Hmmmm. Lemme think here. Yeah, you're wrong on that one.

Doesn't change the fact that Benoit cuts better promo's then Orton.

I preordered Fable a few weeks back and (once RRR returns it) I plan on watching the bonus DVD that came with it over and over again. I'm not buying into the reports too much, just stoked as hell to finally play it.

Statement: Randy Orton has gotten more of a "rub" from the WWE as champ in 3 weeks then Benoit did in six months.

I would think so - seeing they are the only members of the roster who have had successful stints in various foreign organizations prior to their mainstream success. They are heavily respected for that. You could also make the argument they are still in their prime. It's really tough to judge for either of the two, considering that Benoit has been really good from the get-go and can put on two totally different but equally awsome ***** matches ten years apart (vs Sasuke and Angle, respectively.) Eddy only really started to pick up momentum after the botched heel turn on Tajiri and has upped his game signifigantly since then. But then again, he was also doing this back in 1995 with Benoit in New Japan, with Malenko in ECW and with Rey in WCW. I'm not sure if these guys have primes.