CWM Goes To War

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

I don't see this lasting past the next couple of weeks, guys.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

I don't either. It's getting harder to do this because they spend a good portion of the night looking for me. but I can always bring it back on special occasions.

 

How do they handle sitting on the porch all night? Isn't there ten feet of snow in Canada by now? It is 10/9 already.

 

In Canada we're REAL men so we deal with the snow and the cold. Also Moose coats are known to be Excellent insulaters so we wear them.

[Guest The Metal Maniac]

About the drive-by gnoming...

 

Be careful. If they're that paranoid, the first thing they're gonna do when they see a car full of gnomes driving by is write down the plate number.

[Guest AndrewisyourHero]

Or what you could do is have gnomes driving by while playing an endless loop of 'Spanish Flea'...

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

About the drive-by gnoming...

 

Be careful. If they're that paranoid, the first thing they're gonna do when they see a car full of gnomes driving by is write down the plate number.

Yeah MM that's true but it's Night Time and I can always cover the Plate.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

So how long has it actually been since the last bit of gnome activity?

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

3 Days.

 

BUT They've left for the Long Weekend. I have three days to do whatever prank I want.

[Guest Zack Malibu]

Spread the gnomes out across the property with cigarette butts, empty beer cans, etc. Dress it up to look like the gnomes had a house party in honor of them heading out for the weekend. Maybe even buy some fake vomit, and lay a gnome face down on the lawn next to it.

[Guest The Electrifyer]

Just cuz they're gone doesn't mean that you can do these pranks in broad daylight. You still should watch out for other neighbours seeing you or else they might tell and this hilarious thread will be over.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Yeah, stick to nocturnal activity. If you've got a shitload of them, you should line up a couple battalions of gnomes in formation like a couple plattoons of soldiers in the backyard, facing the house, poised for attack.

[Guest the pinjockey]

Line up gnomes at the end of their driveway with a little barracade.

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

Try to break into their house (chimney, maybe) and put gnomes at various parts. Like, a gnome in the shower, maybe?

[Guest Insanityman]

Yeah... but if he's caught, that's some very serious charges.

[Guest B-X]

Break into their house? Jesus fuck dude, thats going too far. So far, they might have him on misdemenors, but if he fucking BREAKS INTO THEIR HOUSE!??!?!

 

Thats a felony, correct? Even if it isn't, thats going too far.

 

Stay out of the house.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Tie some do-rags on a few gnome's heads, and have them chill on their front porch.

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

Get a few 40's and fill 'em with reddish liquid...

 

Dunno why, but I'm pretty sure a gnome wearing a do-rag on your front porch with a 40 filled with what could be blood would scare the shit out of you.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Well....I'm NOT going to break into the house. Now the backyard is isolated do to a bunch of trees and bushes so people won't be able to see what I'm doing back there so I can set things up back there easily today, and tonight I can stage things out front as they should be coming home sometime Monday afternoon.

 

I figure I'll stage the Backyard like a Monster BlowOut Party and Out Front I'll have a Gnome or too in front of the front door holding A Pamphlet inviting them to a Party at their place.

 

what do you think?

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Hey Guys.

 

I set everything up in the backyard last night and It looked like a mother fucking train wreck of a party.

 

They just got home and when The wife saw the backyard she started screaming and the Husband put his fist thought a window.

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

Will there be a follow-up party with incense burning and the mellow sounds of Pink Floyd?

 

you can't beat a good Psychedelic Gnome Sit-In now can you...

 

...I didn't think so...

[Guest jimmy no nose]

Did you do the gnome with pamphlet thing? I would've liked to see them come home see the gnome and flip out, then see his pamphlet and walk around back and go completely crazy.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Yes i did the pamphlet part. I don't know if they freaked out at him, because I was waiting out back to see what they'd do.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Good god, I'm on the floor again.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Don't hurt yourself

[Guest Ram]

You are so going to the hospital when they find out it was you (you're no Jack the Ripper, you know.)

 

Good work!

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Well hopefully they never find out it's me. So far I've managed to avoid being a prime suspect.

 

The poor kid down the street though might be heading to Juvie.

[Guest jimmy no nose]

I sure hope someone else gets in trouble for this. If someone does that's when you stop so they can go on thinking they caught the person who did.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Yeah I geuss but I don't really want someone to get in MAJOR trouble for something I did.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I'd get a gun. If those hillbillies find out it was you, they might try something stupid.

 

Have they at least quit being assholes?

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Not Really. I mean they are disturbing the whole neighborhood with their search for the culprit. And When they stay up all night waiting for me they've got all the lights on and are making a shit load of noise.

 

It's better than it was but It's still pretty shitty.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

You should take a month off. They'd forget about it by then. After that, just have one show up in the driveway. It would trigger a relapse, most likely.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Actually i was thinking about taking a break for awhile. It's getting hard for me to pull this off and frankly it costs alot of money to buy gnomes.

 

So I probably will take a break for 2 weeks to a month...but I WILL BE BACK!