Guest Brian Report post Posted March 11, 2003 Or just do like me and pick up the trade (grafitti and dealing), and start getting back at the man. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest evenflowDDT Report post Posted March 11, 2003 I guess, but it's so much easier to become frustrated, apathetic, and just walk away. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vyce Report post Posted March 16, 2003 I find the wild boar idea VERY intriguing. I've been meaning to figure out a way in which to incorporate violent animals into my overall schemes of mayhem and chaos. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted March 16, 2003 The answer you're looking for in animal warfare is BEES. You throw a goddamn beehive off a roof into the street or something, and there's going to be some crazy shit happening. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Mole Report post Posted March 17, 2003 All of the people who bashed "hippies", do you have one as a friend? Have you even talked to one? "Hippies" are some awesome people. I don't feel like arguing about this with you fellas, but hippies rule. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MrRant Report post Posted March 17, 2003 Hippies don't rule. Fella. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest BRUCE Report post Posted March 17, 2003 This list is to be used as an information source for combating hippies wherever they may lurk. Adopt tactics that fit the situation at hand. The following DEFCON table will aid you in specifying tactics for certain hippie-encounters: Hippie DEFCON Chart DEFCON Situation 5 Lone Hippie 4 Drum Circle 3 Hippie Love Fest 2 Hippie Block Party 1 Phish Concert Tactics: These are broken down into three categories, non-violent, violent and fraudulent. Naturally, as hippie are peace loving freaks, violent actions are the preferred course as they will usually not respond. Fraudulent tactics should be used by the daring and cunning who are willing to impersonate a longhair and gain the trust of others long enough to do away with them. Non-Violent Violent Fraudulent Non-Violent Tactics SOAP ON A ROPE: This may be used as a low-level means of warding off longhairs as they will keep a good distance from your charm. DEFCON 5 TICKS: Ticks are a hippie's worst enemy. Obtain a box of ticks and sprinkle themt at will upon passing hippies. The bugs will love the bountiful playgrounds upon the hippies' heads. DEFCON 5, 4 BLACK SPRAY PAINT: Attacks with black or any metallic colored spray paint will surely humiliate the longhair among his/her peers. WARNING: Use of any other color will conversely enhance the hippie's social standing. DEFCON 5, 4 SCISSORS: Sneaking up and cutting off dreadlocks on an unsuspecting hippie will likely result in cardiac arrest when the target becomes aware of what has transpired. DEFCON 5 D.E.A. JACKETS: Hippies, as abusers of chemical substances are always in constant fear of being caught by police agencies ("the fuzz"). Wearing a Drug Enforcement Agency jacket about will not only ward off hippies, but scare them away as they are forced to eat their illicit drugs. DEFCON 5, 4, 3 HOBOS: Hippies, despite their distasteful appearance, are typically nothing more than rich white kids. As such, they greatly fear contact with the poor and down-trodden. This tactic works in close quarters as the similarity in smells between the hippie and the hobo will lead the longhair to believe a brother hippie is near until it is too late. DEFCON 5, 4, 3 TEAR GAS: Often used in the past against threatening masses of hippies, tear gas will scatter those who are not too doped up to notice. DEFCON 3, 2 HEAD SHOP SHIT ATTACK: Fill a large padded envelope with watered-down fecal matter and insert under door of a locked head shop or hippie cafe. Jump on top of envelope to spray its contents inside. DEFCON 3 Violent Tactics CAN OF RAID: Use Raid or other cheap insecticides to spray in the face of a hippie's pet ferret. Asphyxiation or severe illness should set in for the ferret. The hippie will then cry. DEFCON 5 COWTROPS: Drop nice, sharp but small-sized cowtrops around the locations where hippies frequent, or pass through. While the calpers will just annoyingly stick to the sole of an average person's shoe, barefoot free-loving hippies will be rendered crippled. DEFCON 4, 3 BASEBALL BAT: A few good wacks to the knees will stop any passing hippie in his/her tracks. This is especially useful for marijuana legalization marches or when being pursued by a hippie. DEFCON 5 MACHETE: Maniacal wielding of a large bladed weapon, inflicting injuries upon those who would get too close, is a highly effective method when encountering small to medium sized groups of hippies. Any amount of bloodletting will cause the non-injured to flee in terror or faint on the spot. DEFCON 4, 3 WILD BOAR: Release of a wild boar at a co-op where some hippies are having a love in is sure to turn their free love into a blood orgy. Let the hilarity ensue. DEFCON 3 BOMB: Placement of a large explosive devise underneath the sound stage just prior to a hippie concert or festival should kill off enough longhairs to bring absolute contentment in life. Include nails and metal shreds for the added delight of flayed hippie skins. DEFCON 1 Fraudulent/Impostering Tactics PARAFFIN: Mixing paraffin or a strong solid-state toxin into the marijuana supply (or "stash") of a hippie should be sufficient to cause permanent damage or death. Potential brain damage, however, will be mitigated by the fact that the target, being a hippie, will already suffer from that particular condition. DEFCON 5 LYE-DYE T-SHIRT: Give away tie-dye t-shirts which you have cleverly soaked in caustic lye. Revel with delight as you watch an unsuspecting hippie put the t-shirt on and begin screaming in pain. DEFCON 5 FORMALDEHYDE BONG: Sucker a few hippies into taking a couple "hits" off such a bong and they should be laying stiff in no time. DEFCON 5, 4 POISONOUS 'SHROOMS: Sell off a bag of these delights, nicely dried and perhaps discolored to resemble the real thing and watch some peace loving dudes go on the last trip of their lives. (Thanks to [email protected] for this one.) DEFCON 5, 4 FLUFFY DOG: No hippie can resist wanting to shower love and attention upon a fluffy dog. Before showing the dog off to the hippies, however, insert a large explosive inside the fluffy dog's rectal cavity. If the blast doesn't kill them, the scattered fluffy dog parts should at least scare them into eating meat again. DEFCON 5, 4, 3 C-4 Tape Deck: Similar to the fluffy dog (see above) a tape deck found in a park blasting one of the Greatful Dead's many tedious bootlegs will attrack hippies from far. As they dance naked a simple timing mechanism connected to some C-4 can make their groove a lot more frantic as hair and dirt flies in every direction. (Thanks to [email protected] for this one.) DEFCON 5, 4, 3 RAINSTICK PIPEBOMB: Next time the hippies want to "groove" to some tribal beats and they pull out their synthetically manufactured rainstick, be sure to replace it with a decoy that has a percussive explosive inside. This also works with bongos, but its not quite as funny. (Thanks to Scott for this one.) DEFCON 4, 3 DECOY MINIBUS: Stationing a VW Minibus in close proximity to a hippie event will invariable draw their attention. Adjust the exhaust pipe to blow into the back of the bus and seal it off from the cab. You are then free to lure them inside the vehicle where they should find themselves on a death ride to meet Jerry. Anti-Hippie Action League Fuck You! Hippies Rule~!~ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Mole Report post Posted March 17, 2003 Yes, Hippies do rule, fella. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted March 17, 2003 No use arguing with him, fellas. That's why the thread was dormant for a few days. Just accept that some people like to have a narrow and hateful view of things and move on. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest kkktookmybabyaway Report post Posted March 17, 2003 Jeez, lighten up. Go out and get laid or something... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted March 17, 2003 I still want to lob a beehive into WalMart or something. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted March 17, 2003 Jeez, lighten up. Go out and get laid or something... Why is it that every time someone takes offense to something so blatant and, quite honestly, misguided, they're told to lighten up? It's really not a joke. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest kkktookmybabyaway Report post Posted March 17, 2003 Perhaps because this is an Internet message board. And what's so misguided about beating hippies?... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest snuffbox Report post Posted March 18, 2003 Just give the hippy an adequate number of Northern Lights bong rips...just let the dirty ones sleep! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest saturnmark4life Report post Posted March 18, 2003 I don't mean to offend anyone. 'Cept hippies. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrRant 0 Report post Posted August 19, 2003 Best. Thread. Ever Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ripper 0 Report post Posted August 19, 2003 You ~HIPPIE-IST! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rising up out of the back seat-nuh 0 Report post Posted August 19, 2003 You ~HIPPIE-IST! Actually, I believe this guy's the hippiest. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrRant 0 Report post Posted August 19, 2003 You ~HIPPIE-IST! Actually, I believe this guy's the hippiest. This guy will soon feel the power of this: The Billy Club~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted August 19, 2003 I am certain he'll feel the power of the Billy Club before feeling the power of this... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ripper 0 Report post Posted August 19, 2003 You ~HIPPIE-IST! Actually, I believe this guy's the hippiest. OH...I was under the impression that if I put -ist on the end of anything that means that you are hating said group. You know...racist, sexist, hippie-ist, damn sexy guy named ripper-ist. See? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rising up out of the back seat-nuh 0 Report post Posted August 19, 2003 You ~HIPPIE-IST! Actually, I believe this guy's the hippiest. OH...I was under the impression that if I put -ist on the end of anything that means that you are hating said group. You know...racist, sexist, hippie-ist, damn sexy guy named ripper-ist. See? Yeah, It's just a Jimmy Carr joke. Fat Woman: I hate people who judge people on their look. You're fat-ist. Jimmy Carr: Au contraire. I believe you're fattest. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mole 0 Report post Posted August 20, 2003 I'm coming into this late, but what is really wrong with hippies? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted August 20, 2003 Ever sit next to one on a long bus ride? But seriously, it's just all in the name of fun... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Otis Report post Posted August 20, 2003 HIPPIES ROCK!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrRant 0 Report post Posted August 20, 2003 Go to hell. Straight to hippie hell filled with billyclubs, soap and a job. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mole 0 Report post Posted August 20, 2003 Some Hippies are shady motherfuckers, but I know a few who aren't like that. It is like saying all people who are black are thugs and what not, but it isn't true. Same thing goes for hippies. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JMA Report post Posted August 20, 2003 Sometimes I think disgruntled blue collar guys are secretly communists. After all, they want everyone to have a job. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Czech Republic 0 Report post Posted August 20, 2003 BASEBALL BAT: A few good wacks to the knees will stop any passing hippie in his/her tracks. This is especially useful for marijuana legalization marches or when being pursued by a hippie. BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT! What happened to him? He got hurt. (Thomas hit him with a bat) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
