The One and Only Underappreciated Posters Thread

[Zack Malibu 0]

I no sell everything that zack did...

 

because zack's a pussy

Bitch, I own your ass. When I get through with you you'll be selling like an Avon lady. Cockslap.

 

Plus, I've got Chave's Hall of Rock behind me. You fuckin' wit me, youse is fuckin' wit da family.

[justsoyouknow 0]

...that includes me, right?

[Zack Malibu 0]

...that includes me, right?

Yes, yes it does. Just so you know. OMG WORDPLAY~!

 

Now let's maim Popick while humming an evil song. I choose "My Heart Will Go On".

[justsoyouknow 0]

I disagree with "My Heart Will Go On".

 

Let's do a remake of A Clockwork Orange and beat the shit out of him while singing "Singing in the Rain". That would be great.

 

And...I still want to be in the saga. Make it happen, Zack!

[Zack Malibu 0]

Continuing on...

 

Zack hangs up the phone after his exchange with Choken. CC, perplexed and curious, asks the preppy one what's going on.

 

Zack: "It...it's tough to explain. All I know is that with what's going to go down, I need to call in a favor."

 

CC: "What do you have in mind, Zack?"

 

Zack: "JSYK."

 

CC stares at Zack in stunned disbelief.

 

CC: "Are you...are you sure?"

 

Zack: "As sure as I enjoy being with you."

 

*cue canned audience "Awwwww" track. Zack and CC look around to see where the fuck it came from.*

 

CC gives Zack a kiss on the cheek.

 

CC: "Well then, if you're THAT sure, then get him here. I'm sure he'll be here in a snap."

 

Zack picks up the phone, but then loses himself in thought for a moment. He then snaps his fingers, and like *THAT*, JSYK appears on the island.

 

Zack: "Well I'll be, he WAS here in a snap."

 

JSYK: "Zack, CC, good to see you both. Now, I understand you need my assistance."

 

Zack: "Dude, how in the world...I haven't even briefed you yet!"

 

JSYK: "Zack my good man, don't forget, I know everything. And I know it JUST SO YOU KNOW!"

 

The three then start conversing. What did Choken say to Zack? How much DOES JSYK know? Find out soon (we hope...lazy bastards!)...

[justsoyouknow 0]

:::marks out:::

[Adam 0]

*The Rocky theme music continues to play as Chosun runs up the steep snow-covered hills of Canada*

[Jingus 0]

Remember this?

 

::BB heads off in the same direction, but this time in the search of Dames::

 

THIS WILL BE CONTINUED~!

 

 

After a hard month of walking cross-continent, Bob Barron finally makes it to New York City in his search for Dames. Before strolling into town, he stops to admire the "Welcome to New York" sign set up just outside the city limits.

 

BB: "Ah, I can feel it, things are about to get interesting."

 

 

VRRROOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!

 

 

A sinister, unmarked black Toyota Corolla (with all the windows painted over) rams into the Welcome sign and destroys it, also happening to murder Bob in the process.

 

After sitting idle for a moment, the driver's side door swings open. A smoking cigarette BUTT is hurled from inside to the pavement. Followed by another cigarette BUTT. Followed by an empty six-pack of Smirnoff Ice. Followed by a stack of stuck-together, badly used porno mags. Followed by another cigarette BUTT. Followed by a drained bottle of Southern Comfort. Followed by a mostly-empty bag of suspicious greenish-brown plant matter. Followed by a pile of stinking Jack In The Box burger wrappers. Followed by an entire boxful of ashtrays, all filled with cigarette butts.

 

And finally, the man, the myth, the legend, Jingus steps out. Two more lit cigs still hang from his lips. He's dressed in all black, from his wrinkled trenchcoat to his Doc Marten boots. His hair is mussed and greasy, as if it hasn't been washed in weeks. Smeared black sunglasses cover his eyes, and he's got a .40 Glock handgun stuffed into his side pocket. He coughs, and keeps coughing for a while. When he finally stops, he removes the two cigarettes from his mouth long enough to spit a truly impressive load of phlegm onto the sidewalk, before quickly replacing the cancer sticks. Finally, he draws breath, and speaks:

 

"Home sweet home."

 

Jingus then goes into another coughing fit, damn near hacking his lungs up, before finally puking on the ground.

 

(Now, we skip a few minutes; you really don't want all the ugly biological details.)

 

Eventually, Jingus is able to stand up straight and speak again, which he does, in between chain-smoking a variety of Camels and Marlboros all together at once.

 

"Fuck 'em all. Fuck all those assholes. I leave for a few months, and what do I get? Not one fucking email. Not one goddamn PM. Not even a dumbass thread in Feedback asking where I was. They... forgot about me."

 

He pauses here to do some real quality deep-lung inhaling, before continuing on.

 

"I knew who Marney was long before she ever stepped foot out of CE. I met Popick in person. TWICE. (And he never shuts up about saving the fucking board.) Zack took over MY goddamn mod spot. Me and Jay even talk to some of the same Wildside workers."

 

At this point, Jingus stops, takes out his gun, and fires a couple of rounds into Bob's mutilated corpse.

 

"Yeah... Shooter Jay... I hate that fuck. I hate him. He took away everything. EVERYTHING, goddamn it! Christ, look at me now... look at the hollow shell of a man that I've become. It's all your fault Jay, YOUR fault! I'm gonna kill you if it's the last thing I ever do!"

 

(At this point, Popick quickly explains something about Jay's current Kenny-like condition to the writer.)

 

"Oh. Shit. Nevermind. Can't do anything worse to him than that."

 

Instead, he reaches a mildly trembling hand into his pocket, and takes out a wicked-looking bloodstained scalpel.

 

"But it's been a while since we had a good Dissection 'round these parts. Lotsa fresh meat around here. Lotsa dumbass newbies who don't respect, know, or even care where this board came from. They think Banky is the acme of wit, for chrissakes. Fucking Banky. If these punks ever ran into FK Teale, they'd piss their fucking pants. I'll teach 'em, that's for goddamn sure. I'll show 'em all."

 

Takes one last long drag off his cigs, studies them for a moment, burns his fingers, curses loudly for several minutes, before calming down and lighting another one.

 

"Fuckers. All of 'em. And then... (long drag)... there's Dames. Wow. That'll be interesting, when I run into him again. Heh. A hah. Ha ha ha. MWA HA HA HA HAAAAAA HAAAAAACK COUGH cough wheeze."

[Adam 0]

Geez, now everyones getting involved.

[Zack Malibu 0]

::En route to a SECRET, UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, Zack Malibu, CanadianChick, and their newfound partner in crime, JSYK, drive by Jingus and Bob's rotted corpse. Some New York sewer rats have seen fit to dine on lil' Bob's carcass, making for a triple retch, as all three lean out the window and hurl. Thinking quickly, Zack tosses Altoids in his mouth, and hands some over to CC as well.::

 

JSYK:"Yo, Zack my man, can I get some of those?"

 

ZM:"Eh, you don't need it. See, we tend to kiss a lot to bring romance to this here ordeal, so we gotta stay minty fresh."

 

JSYK mumbles.

 

ZM:"Oh I'm kidding, here, have a few man."

 

JSYK:"Thanks man. Now, where are we off to? I mean, this isn't anywheres near the place that I told you we should look into."

 

ZM:"No, it's not. But I've got a good feeling about something, and I think I know what we can do about it."

 

Zack starts to talk, but turns the radio up really loud so it's inaudible to you, the viewer (or rather, he didn't know what he wanted to write).

 

JSYK:"Excellent plan. I think after this, we'll have everything in order."

 

ZM:"As do I."

 

CC:"Oooh Zack, you're so cute when you're conspiring."

 

CUE:Mushy, romantic kiss.

 

JSYK:"You guys do make a cute couple."

 

CC and ZM together:"We know."

 

Where are they going? Who or what are they going to find? Why did Bob have to die? Find out next time in...THE SAGA!

[Adam 0]

::Cut to Chosun running back to Chave's house with a suitcase in his hand::

 

Chave: Glad I could be of assistance. Who is you first target?

 

Chosun: Ha! That's easy. We are in Canada, so who do you think?

 

Both men together: CWM.

[justsoyouknow 0]

I thought Chave lived in England?

[Adam 0]

(shhhhhh, he has a property in Canada)

[Adam 0]

Aw God Dammit, what happened to this thing of beauty? Zack? CWM? Choken? CONTINUE THE SAGA~!

[Adam 0]

Now dammit, Im getting sick of bumping this thread. Zack's already started another SAGA~! so I think its time that this one becomes timeless, along with The Bossman Thread and Vince McMahons ladder legdrop.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Indeed.

[Adam 0]

THANK YOU!

[Guest Choken One]

IT'S BACK!

 

IT'S BACK!

 

OH YES!!!

 

 

HE'S COMING BACK!

[Adam 0]

FINALLY! We are gonna get this mo' fucker finished!

[caboose 0]

Let it die.

[Adam 0]

IT CAN'T DIE DAMMIT! I WONT LET IT DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

dude....let it go

[Guest Banders Kennany]

Whoa, 29 pages of this crazyness?

[Adam 0]

dude....let it go

I can't, until it goes Classic dammit! I just can't let it go until this is in the classics folder!

[Guest FrigidSoul]

*grabs old pa's hunting rifle and brings this thread behind the wood shed to lay it to rest*

[k thx 0]

The (Still) Ongoing Tale Of The Intrepid Bob Barron.

 

::It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Not at the same tme, obviously, because that would create a vortex, and if there was one thing Bob Barron hated it was vortexes. Mainly because he couldn't spell them. Bob Barrons old high school teacher said "never trust anything you can'y spell" and he was right. He died of autoerotic asphyxiation. But that seemed like a long time ago now. Bob Barron sighed to himself as he thought about it::

 

BB: *sigh*

 

::It was over eight months since Bob Barron was contacted by WDI as part of their plans to kill Dames and take over TSM and the world, but unfortunately it never happened due to SEVERE CIRCUMSTANCES. But Bob Barron stole THE FISH~!, sole it on eBay to Saddam Hussein and with the money he got opened a spy agency. Now he was an international man of mystery with a playboy lifestyle different woman in his bed every night. But something was still missing. The women.::

 

BB: *sigh*

 

:: oh how Bob Barron wished he could meet a woman to spend the rest of his life with. Someone who shared his love of crap music. Someone who'd stay up late to watch wrestling with him. Someone who'd settle for less::

 

BB: *sigh*

 

:: Suddenly there was a knock on the door of his swanky spy office. You know, like the ones out of the fifties. The door swung open, and stood there was a chick with a mysterious Canadian accent::

 

Canadian Chick: Hello, is this Bob Barrons Pimptastic Spy Agency And Mystery Solving Place?

 

BB: Yarr!

 

CC: Thank God. Please help me, I have a mystery for you to solve.

 

BB: Yarr?

 

CC: Yup. It's my beloved Zack Malibu. He's been kidnapped by the mob, and they're not gonna give him back!

 

BB: Hmmm. A mystery indeed. Why have they taken him?

 

CC: They say that unless Dames closes down TSM they're gonna steal all of the mods and administrators. I'm scared, they're bound to come for me too, and I'm allergic to kidnappings.

 

BB: Come here darling, you can cry on my shoulder.

 

CC: That's okay, I'm not crying just yet.

 

BB: Oh. I don't suppose you'd fancy cutting some onions with me, would you?

 

CC: Ew.

 

BB: Point taken. Nonetheless, this sounds like annother case for Bob Barron. Let us run to the BobBarronmobile. You can drive though, I'm wasted.

 

CC: Lets go!

 

BB: Yarr!

 

::And so Canadian Chick and BobBarron sped off into the night in search of excitement and danger and stuff::

 

TO BE FUCKING CONTINUED~!

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

non-heel chave is good.

[k thx 0]

i love kittens and flowers and stuff

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

It'd be more believable if your avatar didn't call us whores.

 

Thanks for making me want to post in HD though Chave...I missed the normal you.

[CanadianChick 0]

I'm more allergic to Break and Enters, but that's just a small detail.