Styles 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Just skip the endless Keith is full of himself and overrated nonsense, I think its a very cool thing that the TNA 1 cent show is being hyped by an internet writer with such a large readership that likely consists of many who have never heard of TNA. This can only help get out the word more. This show really made me want to buy the PPV! The NWA-TNA $0.01 PPV, that is. The SmarK RAW Rant – September 8 2003 - Hey, why don’t you skip this RAW crap and check out my Best of Japan 2002, Volume 2 rant, or better yet, buy the one cent NWA TNA PPV on Wednesday. I will personally be taking a pass on recapping a recap show, but it’ll be WELL worth the price for the cage match alone. - Live from Mike Huntsville, AL. - Your hosts are JR & King. - Opening match, cage match: Kane v. RVD. Kane may have survived the fires of hell, but he’s sure got a nasty shaving rash. Maybe that’s why he wore the mask all those years. Kane attacks to start and gets a corner clothesline, but Rob boots him out of the corner and follows with a dive out of the corner, but gets tossed into the cage. Rob does a wussy bladejob, ON CAMERA, while Kane chokes him on the ropes. I mean, he was literally sitting there blading himself with his face in the camera! Geez. Kane keeps tossing him around, but Rob fights back as JR & King recap the retarded storyline. SO HOW DID HE ESCAPE? A powerbomb is blocked by Rob, but Kane boots him down. To the top, but he gets crotched. Rob goes up with a missile dropkick and Rolling Thunder, but Kane does the situp and prevents Rob from leaving. They fight up there and Rob kicks him down and follows with a frog splash, which misses. Powerbomb onto the ropes and Rob gets sent into the cage again a couple of times, and the cage ruptures, giving RVD the win at 8:35. Uh, okay. Bischoff quickly comes out and points out that it’s either over the top or through the door, not through the cage. He’s got a point. So we take a break and continue. We return with Kane battering RVD into the cage. Rob finally grows a set and tries climbing out, but Kane stops him and gives him a sloppy chokeslam to the mat for the pin at 14:10. JR notes it’s “mercifully over”. Truer words were never spoken. What a snoozefest. ½* Hey, if you’re looking for a GREAT cage match, check out the NWA-TNA one-cent show on Wednesday, for the Daniels & Skipper v. America’s Most Wanted title match that was ****3/4 and probably will win Match of the Year. - Bischoff joins us while the cage is taken down, to make Shane v. Kane for the PPV (wasn’t that already announced even before Summerslam?) and to make the announcer fight into Coach & Snow v. JR & King for the rights to host RAW. Wow, this is the greatest PPV ever! Hey, you know which PPVs HAVEN’T sucked lately? NWA-TNA. Check out their one-cent PPV on Wednesday. And finally, tonight will see a tag match involving Goldberg, HHH, and the dreaded mystery partners. - Meanwhile, Goldust builds up Storm’s confidence. Speaking of Canada, the NWA-TNA PPV is an even better deal in Canada, because it’s one cent Canadian, which is like ¼ cent US! - Lance Storm v. Rico. Oh, this is gonna die. Rico encourages the fan to chant boring, so Storm attacks him and Goldust encourages a “Rico Sucks” chant instead. That doesn’t last. Storm gets a delayed suplex for two. Rico knees him into the corner and gets a short-arm clothesline for two. Rico skips with the ref and goes to the eyes, while JR & King talk about their huge PPV match. I love the irony of JR defending Storm as not boring and then the announcers totally ignoring the match to talk about themselves. Rico gets two off a bulldog and hits the chinlock. Storm with a high kick for two. He puts a move on Jackie Gaida and finishes with a dropkick at 2:44. The post-match celebration dance is a bit scary. ½* - Meanwhile, HHH wants to know who the mystery partners are, but Bischoff isn’t forthcoming. - Trish Stratus & Jackie v. Molly Holly & Gail Kim. Oh, boy, more TV time for Jackie. She gets an armdrag on Molly to start and a rollup for two. Gail comes in and gets hammered by Jackie, who gets a seated dropkick for two. Trish inadvertently distracts the ref, allowing the heels to double-DDT Jackie, and Gail gets two. Gail forces Trish in and gets pounded as a result, as Trish dropkicks them and does the double noggin knocker. Or is that a double knockers knocker? Anyway, backdrop for Kim and a double headscissors follow, but she gets dumped while trying a bodyblock and Kim gets the pin at 3:09. LAME. Best match of the show so far. ¾* Hey, you know which PPV WON’T feature any women’s matches (unless you count Sean Waltman) – NWA-TNA this Wednesday! - I must now once again direct you to Justin Shapiro’s Heat recap on wrestlingobserver.com, and specifically the funniest bit of “fantasy booking” I’ve read in months. It took all my willpower not to steal it myself. That’s how funny it is. Check it out, and make sure to at the very least scroll to the bottom if the idea of Sunday Night Heat in general bores you as much as it does me. http://www.liveaudiowrestling.com/wo/news/...lt.asp?aID=8352 - State of RAW Address: Austin announces that…SHOCK OF SHOCKS…there will be NO DISQUALIFICATION in the title match at Unforgiven! OH MY GOD! THIS IS HUGE! So he moves onto the Kane situation, as Austin complains about being unable to beat people up, until Christian interrupts. He’s tired of not getting any respect. So he wants a talk show to replace the Highlight Reel. Jericho now interrupts, and attacks him. Is that a face turn? The crowd immediately buys into it, if so. But then Jericho verbally turns on Austin and tries to provoke him into beating him up, but Austin wants to make peace and offers him a beer. But Jericho is suspicious. What is this, a house show? Jericho asks for a “Doo Wa Diddy Diddy Dum Diddy Doo” from the crowd, which was pretty funny. And then of course Austin gives him a stunner. What a pointless segment. I mean, literally, it was 20 minutes with NO POINT. Hey, you know what DOES have a point? The NWA-TNA PPV on Wednesday, which is there to expose you to the recent greatness of their booking and work. And all for a penny! Plus taxes, of course, so that might break a few of you. - La Resistance, Mark Henry, Rodney Mack & Rob Conway v. The Hurricane, Rosey and the Dudley Boys. It’s a big brawl to start and the Dudleys clean house, and Spike gets tossed on the French. Hurricane dives onto Mack, as Henry just stands there. Wazzup on Dupree and tables are gotten. Rosey misses a splash on Dupree, and Conway comes in for a double-team, but gets clotheslined. Spike comes in with a stomp from the top, but a cheapshot turns the tide. Mark tosses Spike around, but misses a charge. Hurricane gets the hot tag and gets a neckbreaker on Conway, and Dupree gets pinballed by Bubba & Hurricane. Henry appears to be hurt badly on the outside. Hurricane and Rosey double-team Dupree, but Rosey misses a charge and Conway gets a neckbreaker on Hurricane, but walks into 3D. Mack breaks it up, but gets Bubbabombed. Henry returns (dammit) and powerslams Bubba for the pin at 4:42 to completely kill the crowd. A complete and utter mess. Then, in a completely stupid and dangerous move, La Resistance tries to chokeslam Spike from the ring through a table outside, but his head bounces off the edge and slams into the floor. And yet these idiots are still tag champions. ½* By the way, if you want to see a GREAT tag team championship team, check out the NWA-TNA PPV on Wednesday and see why AMW are a shoo-in for tag team of the year! - Meanwhile, Bischoff makes…wait for it…a TABLES MATCH with Dudleys and La Resistance and friends. SHOCKING. Didn’t see that coming. Hope they don’t kill Spike the next time. - Meanwhile, HHH plugs YJ Stinger while yakking about Goldberg. - Unforgiven rundown: - Shane v. Kane - Shawn v. Orton - Dudleyz v. La Resistance table match - Coach & Snow v. JR & King - Goldberg v. HHH This is like a parody of a PPV or something. Hey, if you only have to buy one PPV this month, make it the TNA PPV this Wednesday, just one cent! - Live from Stamford, it’s Shane. But Bischoff cuts in and makes it a Last Man Standing match. Sure, gimmick up the show instead of making good matches, whatever. - Meanwhile, Molly & Gail plot to end Trish’s career FOREVER. - Steven Richards v. Scott Steiner. Test is advising Richards this week as the neverending feud drags on. Steiner quickly pounds him in the corner and chops him down, but he gets distracted by Victoria and Richards gets a neckbreaker for two. Steiner shrugs him off with an overhead suplex and the belly-to-belly, and he drops the elbow. Victoria distracts him again and Test gets the full-nelson slam on him, as Richards gets two. Steviekick is block and the Flatliner finishes at 2:30. Who cares anymore? All the matches have sucked, neither guy is over, just end it. Match at least broke one star. * Oh, and then the BEST PART: At the PPV, it’s Test v. Steiner (again), with Stacy on the line (again), but if Steiner loses, he’s Test’s bitch. Well, the literal stipulation is that Steiner has to watch Test have sex with Stacy, but if you read between the lines, Test obviously wants BUTT-SEX. Who WOULDN’T want to buy this show now? Hey, you know which PPV DOESN’T feature any man-on-man BUTT-fucking action that I’ve seen yet? NWA-TNA. All the sexual deviance is at least confined to chicks. And Sean Waltman, but that’s more of a general mental problem. - Coach and Snow are in the ring to make fun of JR, and we get the HI-LAR-I-OUS “paste JR’s head on dumb photos” gag. JR gets goaded into the ring by Coach and lays him out, and then shoves Snow out of the ring. Oh boy, let me put down my $34.95 right now. I’d suggest saving $34.94 and buying the TNA show on Wednesday instead. - HHH & Ric Flair v. Goldberg & Randy Orton. Wow, and I had guessed they’d go the other way and reverse the partners. No match, as it’s a big beatdown on Goldberg and they lower the cage. Guess HHH decided he’d shown enough ass for now. He makes sure to add the Pedigree, and can’t even go down for it with his injuries, so they do it again, which is clearly yelled out on camera. Wow, bet Goldberg’s fans loved that segment. The Bottom Line: Another terrible show in a series of them building up to a PPV with no good matches on the horizon. On the other hand, don’t forget to check out the NWA-TNA $0.01 PPV this Wednesday, which WON’T suck, features a bunch of good matches, and is very affordable given you’re getting a MOTYC for basically free. Man, with all this promotion, TNA should give me a cut of the money from the show this week! Why, that should be almost…um… Oh, crap. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OldSchoolWrestling 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 He's been blowing them for the past few weeks in his TNA rants. And when he started doing it he HATED TNA. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bob_barron 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 He didn't hate TNA- He just didn't know anything about it. I think it's cool of him to hype the show like that- I hope a lot of people do check it out Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Mindless_Aggression Report post Posted September 9, 2003 To be fair, when Keith started doing it, I'm thinking we were right in the middle of the "Glen Gilberti is a serious competitor dammit!" phase. When he started blowing the shows is when they started not sucking. Makes sense. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Astro101 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 That's pretty funny, heh. Now that's advertising. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Ghost of bps21 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 He actually reviewed a few TNAs in a row (maybe 2 or 3) back before the Gilberti push as well...and stated that it just wasn't his thing. That changed when they got better...as it should really. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest wwF1587 Report post Posted September 10, 2003 i also thought that was pretty awesome of keith.. i have directv and will gladly shell out 10 bucks for their best of show... i just started watching last week and i may make it a habit... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Dmann2000 Report post Posted September 10, 2003 i also thought that was pretty awesome of keith.. i have directv and will gladly shell out 10 bucks for their best of show... i just started watching last week and i may make it a habit... That's great of you but still...damn shame you don't have On Demand and won't get the 1 cent show... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mole 0 Report post Posted September 10, 2003 I asked my friends at their house if I could order it, but they said no. Damn them and my school for not having PPV. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OldSchoolWrestling 0 Report post Posted September 10, 2003 They won't let you get the 1 cent show? What kind of friends you got? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Styles 0 Report post Posted September 10, 2003 I asked my friends at their house if I could order it, but they said no. Damn them and my school for not having PPV. it's ONE PENNY! Jesus find one under your couch and tell them you'll pay for it, and there's like many showings over the next week. Whats the problem? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Boo_Bradley Report post Posted September 11, 2003 its Mole Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cabbageboy 0 Report post Posted September 12, 2003 I think Keith is basically trying to get people interested in anything that is an alternative to WWE at this point. And that, was my 1200th post. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Markingout Report post Posted September 13, 2003 I hate Keith,I love TNA. Keith just tries to get love from internet fans. Meh Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Coolclint 0 Report post Posted September 14, 2003 The GameFAQs Wrestling Board ... You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Mulatto Heat Report post Posted September 14, 2003 That was the funniest shit I've read in awhile. 15 pages! Wow. The "Just Enjoy It!" police... that's great. But I was a bit surprised - there are people at that board that can actually spell! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
syxx2001 0 Report post Posted September 14, 2003 Someone cant read. It says "TNA this Wednesday" but the guy brings up some tits from, 3 months ago? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Askewniverse Report post Posted September 14, 2003 Please tell me that the GameFAQs board isn't always like that. I think that I lost a few brain cells from reading that thread. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Mulatto Heat Report post Posted September 14, 2003 What I thought were some of the funnier parts were the little quips such as *does 1,000 highspots *takes MOTY award... and Yeah, just enjoy it for what it is...ENTERTAINMENT!!!! </moron> But then it got kind of stupid with the unfunny trite Keith bashing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Coolclint 0 Report post Posted September 14, 2003 Please tell me that the GameFAQs board isn't always like that. I think that I lost a few brain cells from reading that thread. Most of the time, it indeed is. Aimless CZW bashing that would get people flamed on the Misc. Promotions board here gets you praised there, etc. And since people usually mark out at X00 or X000 posts... WOOOOO! 20~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Askewniverse Report post Posted September 14, 2003 What I found to be funny (not ha-ha funny, but "damn, what a moron" funny) was that some chucklehead had the audacity to call Dames an idiot. I don't give two craps about "the dames" or whoever, he's clearly an idiot (he was praising Hart's selling, and thinks Juvi's pumphandle face slam is a torture rack powerbomb... I think that's proof enough. Actually, the main reason I don't care about his review is because Keith's rants are read by at least fifty times the amounts that read that dude's, and as such, Keith should have more dignity than to shamelessly shill TNA because they pay him, or he wants to draw viewers away from the WWE, or whatever. I'm sure that Dames is crushed by the fact that a GameFAQer called him an idiot. Seriously though, how can that guy even compare Dames to Keith when it comes to TNA reviews/recaps? Dames actually knows what he's talking about, and has even been acknowledged by people who work for NWA-TNA. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JasonX 0 Report post Posted September 14, 2003 I think Keith is basically trying to get people interested in anything that is an alternative to WWE at this point. And that, was my 1200th post. OR (as stated in a recent post on CRZ's board) See, I spent the entire RAW rant shilling the TNA show in hopes of getting commission from the profits, before I realized after endless plugs that it's only a one-cent show, and therefore any money actually received from the show would be less than a cent, if that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
