Promo - Prepare for war...

[Crowe 0]

“Where are we?”

 

Dante Crane’s voice echoes in the blackened hallway as he slowly walks through the darkness. His bleached blonde hair is the only stand out feature on his body in this dark, and he waits for an answer... which is not coming. Dante just shakes his head and keeps walking. He’s following someone... but due to the lack of light, this person cannot be seen.

 

The man in front opens a huge steel door and light enters the hallway to reveal the Antichrist Superstar, Crow... without a cigarette in his mouth, nor with a smile on his face. His face is somewhat angry, and he begins to speak, “Welcome to training, Dante.” Crow motions his arm in such a way as to invite Dante in, and without much hesitation, he enters.

 

Crow follows in and it is revealed to the camera, a ring in the middle of the room and surrounding it, numerous work out machines... and over in the corner, a cigarette machine. The Sick Boy notices this first.

 

“Convenient,” he says with a smirk. “It is times like these that I wish I didn’t quit smoking.”

 

Crow lights up a cigarette, almost as to torture Dante a little, “Ha, well mate... it’s times like these that you need Minties.”

 

“Uh huh...” Dante begins as he cocks his eyebrow, “Pray tell, Markus, what are these Minties you speak of?”

 

“...fuckin’ Christ man, you lived in Australia for how long? You gotta be joking that you don’t know about Minties!?”

 

Dante chuckles, “I really don’t, Markus.”

 

“...” is the Antichristian Phenomenon’s dumbfounded response, his mouth opens wide as he places his hands on his head, imitating the action of tripping out. This causes the Sick Boy to laugh out loud and say, “Haha... are we going to train now?”

 

Crow snaps out of his shocked trance and responds quickly. “...pft, fine. Wanna go through the cycle or jump in the ring first?”

 

“The latter, by far,” Dante instantly replies.

 

“Fuckin’ a, bro. Just let me finish my smoke first, k?” Within seconds of this plea, Dante reaches forward, grabs the cigarette out of Crow’s mouth, and snaps it in half.

 

“No,” says Dante with a smirk.

 

This stuns the Gothic Warrior as his mouth falls open once again, “Oooh!? YOU WANNA FUCKIN’ GO, BITCH!?”

 

Dante Crane sprints to the ring, rolls under the ropes and jumps up to a standing base before Crow can even begin chase. “Cigarettes been slowing you down, my friend?” cheekily asks the Sick Boy.

 

“...NO!” retorts Crow.

 

“They will kill you eventually.”

 

“Pfffffft!” spits the bird, “Is that right? Whose done more research on cigarettes than the good people at British American Tobacco Australia? Why would they lie? If you’re dead, you can’t smoke.’

 

“Uh huh...” says Dante. He turns around shaking his head and this is just the opportunity Crow was looking for as his eyes light up with glee. Charging forward, Crow leaps up onto apron, then onto the top rope and with the grace of a bird flies off! With his legs bunched, Crow extends them and dropkicks the Sick Boy in the back! Dante is surprised by the attack and a cry supports this. He falls face first to the ground but immediately turns onto his back and kips back up on to his feet. Crane lifts his leg and spins his body around, attempting to knock Crow’s head off, but it is ducked! The Antichrist Superstar jumps back up onto his feet and pushes Dante back into the turnbuckles, where he rears his arm back and unleashes a vessel-bursting knife edge chop! Sick Boy isn’t going to take that and retaliates with a knife edge chop of his own. Crow cringes as a result but sucks it up and unleashes another devastating knife edge chop, and then hastily, latching onto an arm whips Dante across the ring. Crane however does not run into the turnbuckle, he manages to gain control of his run and use it to his advantage by jumping onto the top turnbuckle and back flipping off. The Gothic Warrior runs right under the Sick Boy in motion and runs face first into the corner.

 

Crow stumbles back out and this momentary lapse of concentration is all Dante needs as he runs forward and slides through Crow’s open legs. Jumping up at lightning speed Dante turns around and throws a back kick which sends Crow back a few steps. Continuing his speed assault the Sick Boy charges forward and pivots on his foot, trying for a strong roundhouse kick... but no! The Antichrist Superstar captures the leg with his arms!

 

“Uh uh... not gonna happen Dante...” taunts Crow as he twists his body around and corks the leg, performing the dangerous Dragon Screw Leg Whip! Dante clutches at his leg as the avian jumps back onto his feet and begins to speak again, “Lesson one: Don’t go to the well so often. The dragon screw, you kick me too much and I’m gonna catch you, and Quiz will too... believe it, bro.” Upon completion of his sentence, Crow instantly finds his legs taken out from under him as Dante uses his amazing quickness to spin his body around and hit a leg sweep! The Sick Boy kips up and says, “Lesson two: Don’t get smart. The element of surprise... don’t underestimate your opponents, Markus.” Dante Crane picks Crow up and bullies him back into the corner; he then unleashes a few quick kicks to the arm and follows it with a spinning back kick. The kick connects with the Antichristian Phenomenon’s face and he’s dazed because of it, thusly allowing Dante to push his back into him and snapmare him over. Following up, Crane runs forward and flips over Crow, grabbing the next on the way, performing the Curt Hennig neck snap! The Avian clutches at his neck as he’s pulled up by the hair and backed into the ropes. Dante whips him across the ring and off Crow comes... straight into a drop toe hold. He lands face first and Dante hops up, runs to the ropes, jumps up, quickly springboards off, twists, corkscrews, and flips onto... the canvas!

 

The Antichrist Superstar knows his friend’s moves from back in the day and managed to move out of the way. “Lesson three: Don’t think nobody can move as fast as you when they need to, Dante. It just might bite you in the ass.” Taking advantage of the winded Dante, he picks him up, applies a front face lock and grabs a hold of the tights... and then summoning a quick burst of power, he snaps him over with a lightning fast standard suplex. Crow backs a step and jumps up in the air, lifting his legs he falls and connects with a leg drop.

 

The Gothic Warrior drops an elbow before picking Dante back up and whipping him to the ropes. Crane comes off very fast and Crow throws an arm out for a lariat, but no! Sick Boy manages to duck under the arm and continues running, but he’s regained his footing and jumps up onto the second rope, bunches his legs and presses off! His body majestically back flips two hundred and seventy degrees in the air onto his standing opponent! However, it does not take Crow down to the canvas, as he manages to sneak under and catch Dante across his right shoulder in the powerslam position. But no, Crow can’t take advantage of the situation as the instant Dante realised his predicament his started to shake his legs wildly and struggle his way out. He lands behind Crow and instinctively applies a rear waistlock, immediately though, the bird counters the rear waistlock. Dante throws an elbow backward, but it misses Crow and thusly, it allows him to summon up some strength and tighten his grip around the waist...

 

...and then throw Dante overhead with a German Suplex! Crow immediately puts his hands in the air, playing to the non-existent crowd.

 

NO!

 

Sick Boy flips out of the move and lands behind Crow! He quickly runs forward, captures his opponent in a full nelson, and says, “Lesson four: The crowd loves you, but do not let them sway your attention from the task at hand.” Completing his sentence he lifts the bird in the air, and upon reaching the apex, releases the half of the hold with his right arm and with the other still on the Crow’s neck, he turns him into a front face lock and DRIVES his head into the canvas with the Damnation DDT! The Antichrist Superstar’s head is swimming and Crane picks him up once again, the intensity lifting as he whips him into the ropes once again. Crow comes off the ropes but finds himself doubled over after a quick spinning roundhouse kick from Dante. From this, the Sick Boy follows up by nailing an uplifting kick which sends his opponent upright and thusly, he jumps into the air and captures Crow’s head with his legs. Dante falls back looking for the hurracanrana...

 

...

 

But it’s not to be, as the Gothic Avian manages to grab a firm hold of Dante and restrict him from swinging him over. Summoning his strength, Crow lifts him back up and POWERBOMBS Dante Crane onto the canvas! Crow steps off and takes a breath before speaking, “Lesson five: Expect the unexpected. No matter how much punishment you dish on to your opponents, the fucks can still counter anything you got.” Dante smiles and kips up to meet Crow in the center of the circle, and the two men lock arms in a test of strength! The struggle is even at first, but eventually Crow begins to gain the advantage and soon, the advantage is clearly his as he manages to push Dante back first to the mat. However, the Sick Boy pulls his legs up and kicks them into Crow’s stomach. This does not cause a break of the test of strength, but it weakens the Avian’s advantage, and that’s all Dante needs to get back into it. Crow pulls him back up to standing base and Dante manages to get a jump in his step and manoeuvre himself onto the second rope, where he wraps his legs around Crow’s head and nails a spinning hurracanrana across the ring! The Antichristian Phenomenon’s landing is awkward and Dante runs to the corner furthest away from his fallen opponent. He sets himself and launches off the top rope and FLLLLLIIIIIEEEEESSSSSS ACROSS THE RING! IT’S TIME FOR THE CURE!

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

 

NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

CROW MOVES OUT THE WAY AND DANTE AND HIS HEAD EAT NOTHING BUT HARD CANVAS!

 

“Lesson six: Don’t showboat. You try to hide it but I know you love to. Always go for the closest turnbuckle... winning the match is what matters,” says Crow as he wrenches Dante back to a standing base. The Gothic Warrior applies a front face lock on his opponent and stands him up. He grabs the belt and lifts him into the air...

 

...but Dante squirms his legs profusely putting extra pressure on Crow to hold him up in the air! The bird has to drop the move down, but this time before trying again, he nails a few stiff forearms to Dante’s back. He grabs a firm grip of the belt once again and lifts Crane in the air...

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

DANTE SLIPS OUT OF THE MOVE AND LANDS BEHIND CROW! Immediately he reaches around and catches Crow in a sleeper.

 

“Lesson seven: If one counters your move the first time, never, under any circumstance, instantly attempt it again,” says Dante as he holds the move in place.

 

Then, he relinquishes the hold and the two men turn around to face each other in the center of the ring.

 

“Final lesson,” begins Crow, face to face with Dante Crane. “Yeah?” replies Crane, giving Crow a steely look...

 

...

 

Crow grins.

 

“Never snap my fucking cigarette again,” he says as he pulls out his pack and lights up a new one. The suddenly, the Antichristian Phenomenon grabs Dante around the head and locks him in a tight-as-all-fucking-hell headlock. The Sick Boy cannot escape, and thus, he has to beg for his release and promise to never snap a cigarette again. Crow lets go of the hold and the two men begin to exit the ring...

 

“Remember,” begins Crow, “Double Jeopardy are not hacks. They may be fuckin’ idiots, but they can wrestle and so, we must be ready...”

 

“We are, Markus. We are ready.”

 

...

 

Fade out.

[Guest Aecas]

And the moral of the story? Never snap a nicontine fiends cigarette.

 

Good stuff man

[cmclennan 0]

You asked for comments, I give them to you now.

 

Okay, the promo was quite well done. I like the way you structured it around a sparring session. I've never seen that done before, which is either because I don't read enough promos, or because you're innovative.

[Crowe 0]

Probably more so the former. Cheers, man.

[janusd 0]

Double Jeopardy is so dead...as our promo of evilosity indicates.

 

MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *cough*

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

"Our?" What do you mean, "our?"

[Crowe 0]

Janus and I are the same person, you know.

[Chuck Woolery 0]

I think the true lesson here is that even if someone is a fucking idiot, they might have talent.

 

At least, I think that's what it meant.