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Zack Malibu

TSM Karaoke Bar

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Guest Plushy Al Logan

::Mario decides to piss everyone off, and no, Michael Anthony has not left the bar yet::

 

 

Hey you, wake up, get yourself together

yeah you, so you think you made it better

'cause you know it's coming at you

While your back is turned

Look too long and I can't help you

So clear your head, find a way home

Better make up your mind

First you say that you will

Then you say you won't

Well I'm just trying to figure

Try and figure you out

 

How long can this go on

Tell me what is wrong

And maybe there's a way

That we can work it out

 

There must be some kind of way

That we can make it right

But I, I just can't do it all

Without you, without you

 

Hey fool, wise up, better late than never

Yeah you, you know that nothing lasts forever

Nobody ever told you that your

Time is running out

Too bad and I can't help you

 

How long can this go on

Tell me what is wrong

And maybe there's a way

That we can work it out

 

There must be some kind of way

That we can make it right

But I, I just can't do it all

Without you, without you

 

The point i'm trying to make

You got to give more than you take

You gotta give, give more than you take

Gotta, gotta, gotta work it out

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Guest Plushy Al Logan
...as long as Gary Cherone doesn't show up.

I'll do worse, I'll get Dames to unban CheroneWasMurdered!

 

::Performs a small medley::

 

Girl, you really got me now

You got me so I don't know what I'm doin'

Girl, you really got me now

You got me so I can't sleep at night

Girl (Girl), you really got me now

You got me so I don't know where I'm goin'

Oh yeah (Yeah), you really got me now

You got me so I can't sleep at night

 

You really got me (Oh!)

You really got me (Whoa-oh)

You really got me

 

Please, don't ever let me be

I only wanna be by your side

Please, don't ever let me be

I only wanna be by your side

 

Girl (Girl), you really got me now

You got me so I don't know what I'm doin' yeah

Oh yeah (Yeah), you really got me now

Got me so I can't sleep at night

 

You really got me (Ah-ha!)

You really got me (Ah-ha!)

You really got me

 

Oh, no, no, ah!

 

(Guitar Solo)

 

I've been to Rome, Dallas, Texas

Man, I thought I'd seen it all, oh

Around the world, searchin' every corner

Man, I thought I'd hit the wall, ah!

There's a sleepy town lies South of the border

You go there once, you'll be there twice

Lots of pretty girls comin' by the dozen, woo!

The white sand sure make a tan look nice

 

(Oooh) We crash on the beach

(Oooh) You know I wanna

(Oooh) Make love in the sea

(Oooh) We gotta try a little dance

(Oooh) So, Cabo Wabo

(Oooh) It's all right by me

(Oooh)

 

Come on, let me take you down

I will show you all around

(Down in Cabo)

Let me take you down

Face down in Cabo, kissin' the ground

 

Land's End, you'd have to see it

Ain't no picture ever say it right, no-oow-oh

Walkin' the streets doin' that ol', the Cabo Wabo, hah!

Place come to life every night, nooo!

 

(Oooh) I wanna crash on the beach

(Oooh) You know I wanna

(Oooh) Make love in the sea (oooh)

(Oooh) Yeah, it's all right there

(Oooh) We don't have to chase it

(Oooh) Fits paradise to a T. Woo!

 

Come on, let me take you down

I will show you all around

(Down in Cabo)

Let me take you down

Face down in Cabo, kissin' the ground, woo!

 

(Guitar Solo)

 

Uh-uuh

Uhhhh

 

Wa-ahahahah

Hey!

Wa-ahahahah

 

We drink Mescal right from the bottle

Salt shaker, little lick a lime, ahh

Throwin' down, down, tryin' to reach the bottom

Where the guave worm, well he's mine all mine

 

(Oooh) Come on, crash on the beach

(Oooh) You know I wanna

(Oooh) Make love in the sea (oooh)

(Oooh) Woo! Gonna try a little dance

(Oooh) So Cabo Wabo

(Oooh) It's all right by me

 

Let me take you down

I will show you all around

(Down in Cabo)

Let me take you down

Face down in Cabo, kissin' the ground. Woo! Come on

 

Face down (Face down)

Down in Cabo

Take me down (Take me down)

Down to Cabo. Uh!

Face down (Face down)

Down in Cabo

doin' the Cabo Wabo, ow!

Take me down (Take me down)

Down to Cabo, woo!

Come on, get it, get it, ow!

Ah-hah! Woo-hoo! Ow! Come on!

 

Girl, you really got me now

You got me so I don't know what I'm doin' Ow!

Girl, you really got me now

You got me so I can't sleep at night

(Owwww!)

 

Girl (Girl), you really got me now

You got me so I don't know where I'm goin' yeah

Oh yeah (Yeah), you really got me now

Got me so I can't sleep at night

 

You really got me

You really got me (Oh!)

You really got me

 

Oh! Oh! Oh!

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Guest Dave O'Neill, Journalist

I think we just need to chill out a little

 

 

When you were here before, couldn't look in your eye

You're just like an angel, your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather

In a beautiful world

I wish I was special

You're so FUCKIN' special

 

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here

 

I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control

I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice, when I'm not around

You're so FUCKIN' special

I wish I was special

 

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here, ohhh ohhhh

 

She's running out....

She's running out, she's run, run, run, run....run....

 

Whatever makes you happy

Whatever you want

You're so FUCKIN' special

I wish I was special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here

I don't belong here

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Guest cobainwasmurdered

(Does NOT do karoake unless drunk)

 

So that saying...

 

OH DANNY BOY, OH DANNY BOY

THE PIPES, THE PIPES ARE CALLING

FROM GLEN TO GLEN AND DOWN THE MOUNTIONSIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

that's all I'm willing to sing.

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Guest cobainwasmurdered
Don't mention it, boss. Anything to help.

 

:::Waits for CWM to take another bite and wings another tomato at him:::

*tamato hits Zack*

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::Gets other TSMers to throw change at JSYK, who is doing the YMCA on stage in his outfit.::

 

CWM:"Wrong song!"

 

JSYK:"Hey, you didn't give me a routine, so I'm improvising."

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Guest Choken One

:Choken Sits back at the bar:

 

Choken: Dames! Look out!

 

:Dames Dodges a Tomato:

 

Dames: Thanks Choke...

 

Choken: No Problem...God Damn kids...Don't they know children are crying for food in Erd World Countries?

 

Dames: I know, I mean...

 

:Choken Grabs Orange:

 

:Choken Scans the room:

 

Choken: BOOM!

 

:Choken Spears the Orange across the room landing square on the head of Jhawk:

 

Choken: Weird My Ass...

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::Sees the horrific scene, so decides to take charge of the situation...::

 

"This one goes out to my friend and yours, The Amazing Rando!"

 

What's up man hey yo what's up

Yeah what's goin' on here

Sick an' tired of five-oh runnin' up on the block here

You know what I'm sayin'

Yo Snow they came around here lookin' for you the other day

Word word bust it

 

CHORUS:

Informer you no say daddy me Snow me I'll go blame

A licky boom boom down

Detective mon said daddy me Snow me stab someone down the lane

A licky Boom Boom Down.

 

CHORUS.

 

Police them come an' now they blow down me door

One him come crawl through through my window

So then they put me in the back the car at the station

From that point on me reach my destination

When the destination reached it was the east detention

Where them whipped down me pants looked up me bottom so

 

CHORUS.

 

Bigger they are they think they have more power

They're on the phone me say that on (every) hour

Me for want to use it once an' now me call me lover

Lover who I'll be callin is the one Tammy

An' me love her in me heart down to my belly

Yes me daddy me Snow me I feel cool an' deadly

As the one MC Shan an' the one daddy Snow

Together we-a love 'em as a Tor-Na-Do

 

CHORUS.

 

Listen for me you better listen for me now (x2)

When me rockin' the microphone me rock it steady

Yes sir daddy me Snow me are the article don

But in the in an' the out of a dance them they say where you come from

People them say you come from Jamaica

But me born an' raised in the ghetto that's the one I want you to know

Pure black people mon that's all I mon know

Yeah me shoes are tear up an' me toes used to show

Where me born in on the one Toronto so

 

CHORUS.

 

Come with a nice young lady.

Intelligent yes she's gentle an' irie

Everywhere me go me never left her at all

Yes its daddy Snow me are the roam dance mon

Roam between a dancin' in a in a nation-a

You never know say daddy me Snow me are the Boom Shakata

Me never lay-a down flat in that one cardboard box

Yes say me Daddy me Snow me I'll go reachin' at the top so

 

CHORUS.

 

Why would he (x2)

 

Me sittin' 'round cool with my dibbie dibbie girl

Police knock my door lick up my pal

Rough me up an' I can't do a thing

Pick up my line when my telephone ring

Take me to the station black up my hands

Trail me down 'cuz I'm hangin' with the Snowman

What I'm gonna do I'm backed an' I'm trapped

Slap me in the face an' took all o' my gap

They have no clues an' they wanna get warmer

But Shan won't turn informer

 

CHORUS.

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:::Sits in corner sobbing while CWM berates him for messing up the dance routine:::

 

JSYK: "Can I please go change now?"

 

CWM: "NO! You will wear that outfit until you can learn to follow orders!"

 

JSYK: "How long will that be?"

 

CWM: "DON'T ASK QUESTIONS! TOMORROW, YOU WILL ENTERTAIN THE OTHER LUMBERJACKS!"

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Guest Choken One

:Choken Walks about the bar as Nothing is really happening:

 

Choken: God this place DIED. QUICK.

Flyboy: Hey

Choken: Fuck you...

 

::Choken Bumps into JHawk::

 

::Awkward Silence follows::

 

Choken: So what happened to you?

Jhawk: Some asshole threw a orange at my fucking head...

Choken: Man that Must suck...

Jhawk: It hurts man...

Choken: I can see that...

Jhawk/Choke: We need to talk...

Choken: *chuckles*

Jhawk: All right, we both know what we're going to say...

Choken: Yeah, Let's just get it over with...

 

*Melodramatic Music Plays*

Jhawk: I never met anyone like you before, so soft and tender and warm

Choken: Yeah, I feel ya...

Jhawk: It's just that all my life I've been searching for something pure and real...

 

:C.C Bumps into Choken:

 

C.C: Hey!

Choken: What's Up?

C.C: nothing, party is getting boring though...

Choken: Let's Make out...

C.C: Cool!

 

Jhawk: Bye...

 

:Choken Ignores JHawk:

 

:JHawk Walks to Bar::

 

Dames: Lonely Man Blues gots ya down homey?

 

Jhawk: Hit that sweet spot for my liver baby, I'm feeling the blues...

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Guest Sigmund Freud

*The good Doctor enters the room*

 

You all suck!

 

*Picks up microphone*

 

yo back up now and give a brother room

 

the fuse is lit and I'm about to go boom

 

mercy mercy mercy me

 

my life is a cage but on stage I'm free

 

hyped up syched up ready for wil'in'

 

standing in a crowd of girls like an island

 

I see the one I wanna sic come here cutie

 

I flip 'em around and then I work that booty

 

work the body work work the body

 

slow down girl you're 'bout to hurt somebody

 

oh and yo let's get just one thing clear

 

there's only one reason why I came here

 

ya really done want me to tig-a-tig-a-tig-a tell ya wassup (go)

 

ya really done want me to tig-a-tig-a-tig-a tell ya wassup (go)

 

ya really done want me to tig-a-tig-a-tig-a tell ya wassup (go)

 

I came here tonight to hear the crowd go

 

Chorus:

 

Boom! shake-shake-shake the room

 

Boom! shake-shake-shake the room

 

Boom! shake-shake-shake the room

 

tic-tic-tic-tic Boom!

 

well yo are yall ready for me yet

 

(pump it up prince)

 

well yo are yall ready for me yet

 

(pump it up prince)

 

well yo are yall ready for me yet

 

(pump it up prince)

 

well here I go here I go here I here I go

 

yo

 

dance in the aisles when the prince steps to it

 

the rhyme is a football y'all and I went and threw it

 

out in the crowd and yo it was a good throw

 

how do I know? because the crowd went hoooo

 

in response to the way that I was kicking it

 

smooth and individual

 

rhymes always original

 

like the Dr. Jekyl man and this is my Hyde side

 

I am the driver and you're on a rap ride

 

so fellas (yeah)

 

are yall wit me (yeah)

 

I said fellas (yeah)

 

are yall wit me (yeah)

 

why don't you tell the girls what y'all wanna do

 

ya wanna ooh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh--ooooh

 

that's right yo and I'm in the flow

 

so pump up the volume along with the tempo

 

I want everybody in the house to know

 

I came here tonight to hear the crowd go

 

Chorus

 

pump it pump it come on now

 

repeat 5X

 

yeah, come on now

 

chorus

 

here I go

 

the the f-f-f-f-fresh p-p-p-prince is who I am

 

so tell my mother that I never wrote a whack jam

 

but some times I get n-nervous and start to stutter

 

and I f-fumble every word for word I utter

 

so I just try to ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chill

 

but it gets worse-a but worse-a but-but-but worse still

 

I need the c-c-c-crowd to k-k-k-kick it to me

 

they help me calm down and I can get through it

 

so higher higher

 

get ya hands to the ceiling

 

let it go y'all don't fight the feeling

 

mic in a strangle hold sweat pourin'

 

and like Jordan yo I'm scoring

 

yeah that's right y'all and I am in the flow

 

so pump up the volume along with the tempo

 

many have died tryin' to stop my show

 

I came here tonight to here the crowd go

 

[chorus]

 

*goes to bar*

 

BEER ME~!

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::Fires up weedwhacker, runs everyone off of the stage::

 

Ladies and gentlemen and CC, no CnP, no song.

 

Some days I just wanna up and call it quit

I feel like I'm surrounded by a wall of bricks

Everytime I try to get up I just fall in pits

My life's like one great big ball of shit

If I could just put it all into all I spit

Instead of always tryin' to swallow it

Instead of always starin at this wall and shit

While I sit writer's block sick of all this shit

Can't call it shit

All I know is I'm about it hit the wall if I have to see another one of mom's alcoholic fits

This is it, last straw, that's all, that's it

I ain't dealin with another fuckin' politic

Like a skillet bubblin until it filters up

I'm about to kill it I can feel it buildin up

Blow this building up

I've concealed enough

My cup runneth over I done filled it up

If it explodes in bunch

Ink spills my guts

You think all I do is stand here and feel my nuts

Well I'ma show you what

You gonna feel my rush

If you can't feel it it's too real to touch

Build to touch

I'm about to tear shit up

Goosebumps yeah I can make your hair sit up

Hands straight up

I'ma tell you who I be

And I'ma make you hate me cause you ain't me

You wait it ain't to late to finally see

What these close minded fucks

What they blind to see

Whoever finds me gonna get a finder's fee

Out this world, ain't no one out their mind as me

Need piece of mind, I'ma give you piece of mine

All I need's a line

But sometimes I can't always find the worlds to rhyme

To express what I'm really feelin at that time

Yeah sometimes sometimes sometimes

Just sometimes it's always me

How dark can this hallway be

The clock strikes midnight, one, two, half past three

This half-ass rhyme with this half-ass piece of paper

I'm despreate at my desk

To get the rest of this shit off my chest again

Stuck in a rut

Can't think of nuthin

Fuck I'm stumpin, oh wait here comes something

Nope

It's not good enough

Scribble it out

New pad, wrinkle it up throw this shit out

I'm fizzlin out

Thought I figured it out

Balls in my court but I'm scared to dribble it out

I'm afraid

But why am I afraid

Why am I slave to of this trade

Sign that I spit to the grave

Good enough to rile you up

Wanna me to rip it I can rip it any style you want

I'm a switchhitter bitch

Jimmy Smith ain't a quitter

I'm a sit until I get enough of me to finally hit a fuckin boiling point

Put some oil in your joins

Flip a coin bitch come get destroyed

An MC's worst dream

I make him hate me see me and shake like a chain link fence

By the looks of them you would swear that Jaws was comin

By the screams you would swear that I'm sawin someone

By the way their runnin you would swear that the law was comin

It's now or never and tonight it's all or nothing

Momma Jimmy keeps leavin on us

Said he'd be back he pinky promises I don't think he's honest

I'll be back baby I just gotta beat this clock

Fuck this clock I'ma make you eat this watch

Don't believe me watch I'ma a win this race

And I'ma come back and rub my shit in your face bitch

I found my nitch you're gonna hear my voice

Until you're sick of it you ain't gonna have a choice

If I gotta scream until I've got half a lung

If I have half a chance I grab it Rabbit Run

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*YNA steps up to the mic*

 

Have a holly jolly Christmas

It's the best time of the year

I don't know if there'll be snow

But have a cup of cheer

 

Have a holly jolly Christmas

And when you walk down the street

Say hello to friends you know

And everyone you meet

 

Oh ho, the mistletoe hung where you can see

Somebody waits for you, kiss her once for me

 

Have a holly jolly Christmas

And in case you didn't here

Oh by golly, have a holly jolly Christmas this year

 

Have a holly jolly Christmas

It's the best time of the year

 

Have a holly jolly Christmas

And when you walk down the street

Say hello to friends you know

And everyone you meet

 

Oh ho, the mistletoe hung where you can see

Somebody waits for you, kiss her once for me

 

Have a holly jolly Christmas

And in case you didn't here

Oh by golly, have a holly jolly Christmas this year

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I'm sending this shit out to Incandenza...

 

Fall is here, hear the yell

back to school, ring the bell

brand new shoes, walking blues

climb the fence, books and pens

I can tell that we're going to be friends

 

Walk with me, Suzy Lee

through the park and by the tree

we will rest upon the ground

and look at all the bugs we found

then safely walk to school

without a sound

 

Well here we are, no one else

we walked to school all by ourselves

there's dirt on our uniforms

from chasing all the ants and worms

we clean up and now its time to learn

 

Numbers, letters, learn to spell

nouns, and books, and show and tell

at playtime we will throw the ball

back to class, through the hall

teacher marks our height

against the wall

 

And we don't notice any time pass

we don't notice anything

we sit side by side in every class

teacher thinks that I sound funny

but she likes the way you sing

 

Tonight I'll dream while I'm in bed

when silly thoughts go through my head

about the bugs and alphabet

and when I wake tomorrow I'll bet

that you and I will walk together again

cause I can tell that we're going to be friends

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