CanadianChris 0 Report post Posted December 29, 2003 Nah...every time he tries to type up his oh-so-special encounter, he starts crying and can't continue. He's probably crying as we speak. He may cry for the rest of his life. Have some compassion, people. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Bottled Black Report post Posted December 30, 2003 ** Still anxiously awaits next crock of bs.. umm I mean next update ** Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
2GOLD 0 Report post Posted December 30, 2003 Or they are sitting in their shower fully clothed and rocking back and forth, crying and saying "still not clean...still not clean" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest BookerTman Report post Posted December 30, 2003 I hope this guy isn't really trying to pass these off as real events. No girl would buy into the James Dean BS, and the football player would have totally made him into his bitch at the library. Nonetheless, funny stuff and definitely classic material. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Damaramu 0 Report post Posted December 30, 2003 I hope this guy isn't really trying to pass these off as real events. No girl would buy into the James Dean BS, and the football player would have totally made him into his bitch at the library. Nonetheless, funny stuff and definitely classic material. Sorry to say but he is trying to pass them off as real. When we make fun of him about it he's like "Hahaha...that's funny guys." I just picture him saying that in a really nervous voice with really shifty eyes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarvinisaLunatic 0 Report post Posted December 30, 2003 Im surprised I managed to read the whole thing. I was tempted to stop around page 7 but the car wreck syndrome kicked in. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest rawmvp Report post Posted December 30, 2003 I haven't been able to update this thread because we've been in the process of establishing a DSL connection; hence, I haven't had access to the internet for the last week or so. Anyway, I'm back and now I owe you two updates that are forthcoming -- the one from Saturday (12-22) and this past weekend in Vegas. Both updates will come tomorrow -- and this time, I promise...I really do. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest rawmvp Report post Posted December 30, 2003 (edited) Alright, before I get kicked off my brother's computer (my dsl modem is having problems), I'm gonna try to give a quick description of what transpired last Saturday. Ok, before I went to her home, I went to the supermarket to buy the following items: cheerios, trix, sourcream, a bottle of chocolate syrup, and a dozen light-blue colored roses (light or sky blue is her favorite color). I did this with the intention of letting her know that I paid attention to every single, solitary detail that was given to me. Girls appreciate it when guys listen and this was my way of showing her that I'm a very attentive person. This time, as I arrived at her home, I opted for the professional look -- black coat, black slacks, light blue tie, dressy shoes -- and decided to dry my hair, giving it that fluffy, fuzzy look we all love just like Ric Flair circa 1989 and HHH circa 2003. Hey, I don't see any problem with gleaning fashion tips from pro-wrestlers, do you? The only disparity separating these two entertainers from I is my jet-black hair and a less than imposing stature. As I rang her doorbell, her mother came to the door, and with her thick Russian accent and incredulous demeanor, wanted to let me know that she was expecting me, and any ulterior, lascivious intentions I may have been harboring. With my debonair style, I clearly imparted a sense of humility, sophistication and class ...............sorry i'll finish this tomorrow Edited January 9, 2004 by rawmvp Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SP-1 Report post Posted December 30, 2003 Okay. I simply cannot continue without saying something. I pictured Mick Foley giving the Football player promo in Cactus Jack style and it was potentially the funniest thing I have ever had pass through my mind. Thank you, rawmvp, for that wonderful gift. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EricMM 0 Report post Posted December 30, 2003 rawmvp you gotta know when to let this die... it's gonna stop being funny, in fact, I think it already has. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanadianChris 0 Report post Posted December 30, 2003 Hey, I don't see any problem with gleaning fashion tips from pro-wrestlers, do you? Of course not. I myself consulted with Giant Gonzalez and Bastion Booger before my last date. Can't figure out why I didn't get another one... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Damaramu 0 Report post Posted December 30, 2003 Oh god........he's lost his edge. Now if he gets in a hardcore battle with the mother while crying and screaming that he loves her daughter then maybe....just maybe the story will be redeemed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted December 30, 2003 Face it pal, she's cheating on you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zetterberg is God 0 Report post Posted December 31, 2003 Face it pal, she's cheating on you. I didn't know that could happen in imaginary relationships. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Damaramu 0 Report post Posted December 31, 2003 Face it pal, she's cheating on you. I didn't know that could happen in imaginary relationships. If I imagined myself having sex with this girl as masturabatory material...would she be cheating on him? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted January 1, 2004 Uh-oh. Looks like somebody has writer's block....... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Damaramu 0 Report post Posted January 3, 2004 Yeah where the hell's my fake romance novel? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sandman9000 0 Report post Posted January 3, 2004 This has been one of the larger pieces of garbage I've ever read. Not even the trashiest romance novels stoop down to this level of drivel. There is only one way to save this: kill everyone. I don't mean in a Romeo & Juliet way, I mean in a Dr. Strangelove way. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Olympic Slam Report post Posted January 4, 2004 OMG!!!1!! picture of rawmvp's girlfriend.......... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanadianChris 0 Report post Posted January 5, 2004 The public DEMANDS an update! What's a cheesy love story without a cheesy conclusion? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Bottled Black Report post Posted January 6, 2004 Yeah I need a good laugh. Where's the update? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Murmuring Beast 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2004 If he's not back in a week stick this in classics. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TSA09 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2004 Maybe this is supposed to have a Romeo and Juliet ending Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A Happy Medium 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2004 O.J Hart and MVP need to write some songs about knocking girls up really really hard, then crying in jacuzzis after murdering football players. Man, I wish my life sounded like a romance novel. That would own. All I do is go to ihop with four or five friends every night, then watch Tool videos...why can't I bravely stand up for that hot friend by cutting a long winded promo about Batman board games and Flarp Noise Putty. ...But where's the update, dammit!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarvinisaLunatic 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2004 I dont think you can call this a "classic" thread. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Art Sandusky 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2004 Yeah, this is missing something to really make it classic. It needs DJ Jeff to do a run-in and talk about an AIM chat he had with AliceInChainsChick or something. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Murmuring Beast 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2004 This is far better than OJ HART, don't lie. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest rawmvp Report post Posted January 7, 2004 (edited) Ok, before I went to her home, I went to the supermarket to buy the following items: cheerios, trix, sourcream, a bottle of chocolate syrup, and a dozen light-blue colored roses (light or sky blue is her favorite color). I did this with the intention of letting her know that I paid attention to every single, solitary detail that was given to me. Girls appreciate it when guys listen and this was my way of showing her that I'm a very attentive person. This time, as I arrived at her home, I opted for the professional look -- black coat, black slacks, light blue tie, dressy shoes -- and decided to dry my hair, giving it that fluffy, fuzzy look we all love just like Ric Flair circa 1989 and HHH circa 2003. Hey, I don't see any problem with gleaning fashion tips from pro-wrestlers, do you? The only disparity separating these two entertainers from I is my jet-black hair and a less than imposing stature. As I rang her doorbell, her mother came to the door, and with her thick Russian accent and incredulous demeanor, wanted to let me know that she was expecting me, and any ulterior, lascivious intentions I may have been harboring. With my debonair style, I clearly imparted a sense of humility, sophistication and class as her mother welcomed me in. In Russian, she summoned Natalie, who came walking down the stairs with a beaming smile. Natalie and her mother exchanged a few words in Russian and giggled a little bit. I presented her with the blue flowers and she responded with a smile (you should've seen the expression on her mother's face) and a glancing kiss on the cheek. With dark purple eyeliner under her eyes and a pair of black leather pants that squealed and shrieked with every footstep and a black sweater with blue streaks that stretched forward thanks to the prodigious size of her breasts, we dashed for my car. As we ambled to my car, she quickly mentioned that her friend -- the other Russian girl who dropped Biology -- has the entire house for herself (apparently, the friend's parents were invited for tea and dinner by another Russian family). Perplexed, I inquired further and discovered that Natalie had asked her friend, Yelena, to also lend her house for one night; in other words, Yelena was willing to leave the house for a few hours and give her house to Natalie and I for that same duration. Natalie assured me that a few hours alone with absolutely no distractions would further our relationship. Evidently, I didn't complain. As we sat together in my car, Natalie insisted that she drive because she knew the way to her friend's home. I gave her the keys and sat in the passenger's seat as she deftly manuevered my car to the next city, and ultimately, Yelena's home. On the way, I teased and flirted as I gently placed my head on her lap like a child in distress -- relentlessly twisting and turning my head. With the back of my head on her lap, I joked, " You know, I'm a lot more comfortable lying on my stomach." At that moment, I turned my whole body around, placing my head in her crotch and sighed, " Ahhh much better." This got more than a few giggles from her, causing her to lose her concentration a few times, but it was all good. As we arrived to the home, we were greeted by her friend who promised to be back in a few hours. Just as her friend left, I, standing in the doorway, threw Natalie to the stairs, as we wrestled around like Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat at Clash VI. I picked her up, put her on my shoulder, and took her to her friend's master bedroom. With Natalie playfully shrieking on my shoulder, I powerslammed her, a la the British Bulldog. Just as I was about to pin her, she grabbed my crotch -- which was an accident according to her. I countered with a tombstone piledriver on the bed, complete with her upside-down crotch in my face. That was fun. As she helplessly laid there, I picked up her legs, and tried to put her in a boston crab, but she wouldn't relent, so I tickled her. That worked. As I sat there in a straddle-like stance with her feet locked in my arms, I tickled her feet making her cry in pleasure and agony. Anyway, after a few minutes of that, we walked down the stairs and sat in her friend's kitchen, as we continued to huff and puff, yet still manage to peer into each other's eyes with steadfast passion. I broke the silence by asking her if she wanted some dessert to cool off. She said, "yes," so I took out the bag of goodies from my coat pocket, and took out some knudsen's sourcream. This prompted her to guffaw and chortle for what seemed like an eternity; there were tears in her eyes. She told me that she "hadn't laughed that hard for the longest time." I removed the lid, scooped up a teaspoon of sourcream and gently placed it in her mouth; she took the same spoon and did the same. This led to a very messy kiss that had us slobbering sourcream over each other. Note: kissing and laughing really hard can be a perilous combination... Edited January 9, 2004 by rawmvp Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Bottled Black Report post Posted January 7, 2004 You went to the store, then picked her up, drove to her friends house (In another town), went to the bedroom and wrestled (no fooling around which seems more than a little odd to me), THEN you ate the sour cream which had been in your pocket for how long? Does the next day entail you both going to the hospital? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
USC Wuz Robbed! 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2004 I'm surprised Earl Hebner wasn't in on the action counting the pin and asking her if she submitted..... seriously, you can do without wrestling in ahhh..... "foolin' around". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
