Bane & Seven from OVW

[the pinjockey 0]

I was thinking blue overalls, with a red and white striped shirt, some striped tube socks, old converse, and maybe a baseball cap.

[Slayer 0]

You're making this sound like wrestling's answer to Of Mice and Men

 

Kertig will accidentally kill Trish Stratus, and Tomko plants one in the back of Kretig's skull.

 

"Tell me about the rabbits, Tomko..."

[Tawren 0]

I was thinking blue overalls, with a red and white striped shirt, some striped tube socks, old converse, and maybe a baseball cap.

As long as the baseball cap is sideways.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Fertig will have to wear rainbow suspenders.

Like Jerry Seinfeld when he was trying to sabotage Kenny Bania.

 

Also, Special K should have a "resource-room teacher" as his manager who tries to guide Special K along the right path in his matches, but then just realizes "ah fuck it" and does the match for him anyway.

[the pinjockey 0]

What if Tomko was rich enough to have a servant. And the servant could set up a playpen with some toys in it outside the ring whenever he wrestles, for Fertig to play in.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Terri: Have you ever been with a girl before?

*Fertig looks off into space while waving his hand around*

Terri: You know, I find a man who wears a hockey helmet to be real sexy...

*Terri puts hand on Fertigs thigh*

Fertig: ooooOOOOOOh.

Terri: And I just love a man who's not afraid to wear corduroy pants with a windbreaker and velcro shoes...

[The Kid 0]

Alright, seriously now...those names are just plain stupid. Why the hell couldn't they be like...Kevin Forth and ____ Travis? Or give them gimmicked names! My gosh it's crazy, you're already telling the poor guys that they won't make it anywhere. Imagine The Fink announcing this at Wrestlemania 23...

"Coming to the ring, weighing in at 275 pounds, World Wrestling Entertainment champion...FERTIG!"

It's just plain laughable, Steve Austin wouldn't have been a huge star if his name was still The Ringmaster. Or how about this? Wrestling's biggest star.....BOLEA!

[The Czech Republic 0]

At some point he has to wet himself in the middle of a match. Then they have to call out ring staff to clean up that mess.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Oh yeah, he has to have his Winnie the Pooh colouring booking with Crayons.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Alright, seriously now...those names are just plain stupid. Why the hell couldn't they be like...Kevin Forth and ____ Travis? Or give them gimmicked names! My gosh it's crazy, you're already telling the poor guys that they won't make it anywhere. Imagine The Fink announcing this at Wrestlemania 23...

"Coming to the ring, weighing in at 275 pounds, World Wrestling Entertainment champion...FERTIG!"

It's just plain laughable, Steve Austin wouldn't have been a huge star if his name was still The Ringmaster. Or how about this? Wrestling's biggest star.....BOLEA!

Or get this: Goldberg!

 

What is he, a lawyer with an attitude?

[Tawren 0]

Oh yeah, he has to have his Winnie the Pooh colouring booking with Crayons.

And he needs to concentrate at coloring in the lines but fail, then when he feels bad he gets blindsided by a heel. Then the heel feels bad and they learn the true meaning of arbor day.

[the pinjockey 0]

And one of those spinning things, with the farm animals. So his promos can consist of:

 

Coach: So Fertig, you have a big match tonight.

 

:Fertig pulls string, lands on cow:

Toy: moo

Fertig: MOOOOOOOO!! Ahhahaha! It go Moo Cooch.

[The Czech Republic 0]

You know, RavishingRickRudo, we would make like THE best Odyssey of the Mind team.

[Kardo 0]

Tomko: Hey Ric this is my brother Fertig

Fertig: I'm Fertig, Fertig Fries

Temko: Tell him the story Fertig

Fertig: I like french fries

 

Ric: Stares into space wondering what happened to get him in this angle

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

They should have a feud between Tomko and Albert and Big Show. And then one day Big Show will start picking on Fertig and Albert will see this and go on a rampage and allign with Fertig though still have a grudge with Tomko. Fertig will be torn between Tomko and Albert and through him the two rivals will patch up their differences.

[Tawren 0]

They should have a feud between Tomko and Albert and Big Show. And then one day Big Show will start picking on Fertig and Albert will see this and go on a rampage and allign with Fertig though still have a grudge with Tomko. Fertig will be torn between Tomko and Albert and through him the two rivals will patch up their differences.

To learn the true meaning of _____. Can't forget that.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

I figure we are the better pager uppers. We turn any bad thread into a good, fucked-up, time.

 

*marks out for "the cow goes moo"*

[The Czech Republic 0]

Well we've talked about Fertig, but TomCo is getting no love. He should say something like "I knew I never should've merged with NRG Business Solutions."

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

To learn the true meaning of Friendship, Brotherhood and Loyalty... naturally

[Tawren 0]

TomCo needs to make lots of references towards owning acid mines. LOTS. MONEY IN TAH BANK~!

 

Of course, he'll need Fertig to teach him the true meaning of child labor.

[The Czech Republic 0]

I figure we are the better pager uppers. We turn any bad thread into a good, fucked-up, time.

 

*marks out for "the cow goes moo"*

Yeah we are. And I mark out for like everything in this, the Cena story, and the WWE chapters. November 9th has been kind for TSM. Not to mention the arrival of Mr. Brook River.

[the pinjockey 0]

Well with Tomko, you could have him be such a caring brother that he pays people to lay down for Fertig.

 

This leads to a.) him learning a valuable lesson about trying to help too much and hurting him in the long run and b.) him becoming broke and having to make money in wacky schemes.

[Slayer 0]

Alright, seriously now...those names are just plain stupid. Why the hell couldn't they be like...Kevin Forth and ____ Travis? Or give them gimmicked names! My gosh it's crazy, you're already telling the poor guys that they won't make it anywhere. Imagine The Fink announcing this at Wrestlemania 23...

"Coming to the ring, weighing in at 275 pounds, World Wrestling Entertainment champion...FERTIG!"

It's just plain laughable, Steve Austin wouldn't have been a huge star if his name was still The Ringmaster. Or how about this? Wrestling's biggest star.....BOLEA!

Or get this: Goldberg!

 

What is he, a lawyer with an attitude?

 

Goldberg the Evil Banker

 

His natural foe would've been IRS

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Well I figured Tomko would turn heel as he found a new surgical solution that could reverse Fertigs "problem". But Fertig wouldn't want it. But Tomko would insist and force it on him. And the wrestlers fight for Fertigs right to be himself. And in the end Tomko learns that there was never a problem with Fertig, just with himself and his own insecurity.

[Tawren 0]

Imagine the heat on Stone Cold when he stunners Fertig for not drinking with him.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Well I figured Tomko would turn heel as he found a new surgical solution that could reverse Fertigs "problem". But Fertig wouldn't want it. But Tomko would insist and force it on him. And the wrestlers fight for Fertigs right to be himself. And in the end Tomko learns that there was never a problem with Fertig, just with himself and his own insecurity.

You make it sound like it's impotence and not retardation.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

TomCo is under threat from a hostile takeover by Deadman Inc...

[Guest wrestlingbs]

The announcing would write itself:

 

JR: Now Fertig, what do you think of your brother in this match?

 

Fertig: My shoes light up when I walk!

 

JR:....... Um, anyway...

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

You make it sound like it's impotence and not retardation.

 

Impotence of THE MIND.

[The Czech Republic 0]

The announcing would write itself:

 

JR: Now Fertig, what do you think of your brother in this match?

 

Fertig: My shoes light up when I walk!

 

JR:....... Um, anyway...

Then as Austin does a Stunner on Bischoff:

 

JR: STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!

Special K: I made a weird mess in my pants.

King: You're not the only one here to, Fertig!