SNL Review featuring my trip report

[bob_barron 0]

Sorry this review is so late- I did standby this

weekend which meant I didn't sleep at all on Friday or

Saturday. Sunday I went to Long Island to meet Bill

O'Reilly and then I saw Armageddon so I'm writing it

now. I hope it doesn't suck.

 

Sports Report-

 

The 2003 Stanley Cup Champion Devils- They had a big

win over Philly on Saturday and have been playing the

usual excellent defensive style Devils hockey. Brodeur

is seriously the greatest goalie ever. The Eastern

Conference is really competitive and I hope they can

keep it up.

 

Leafs- The media was all over them (as usual) and they

had games like the 7-1 drubbing against Philly. But

they won 8 in a row and have points in their last 10

games. Something special is truly going on up there

and I hope they can keep this up and don't falter in

the playoffs.

 

Canucks- 4 games with a point makes me a happy Canuck

fan. I just hope they can hang on to the Northeast

division since I don't want Colorado to come closer to

breaking the Braves record.

 

Nets- They lost to the freaking Memphis Grizzlies by

47 points. That's bogus and sad. Yes I know they won 4

in a row but you don't lose 47 pts to Memphis. I

thought things we would be turned around now that

every player has 2 working kidneys.

 

The Saints- I think what Joe Horn did was hilarious

and it's quite said that Sportscenter was spending the

first 15 minutes of the show talking about it. Oh and

they won as well- that's good.

 

Mailbag!!!!!!!-

 

Well no one wrote anything so there's no mailbag.

That's kinda funny.

 

Wanna be in the mailbag???? Email me at

[email protected]

 

 

And now the review.....

 

Cold Opening

Cast- Darrell Hammond, Amy Poehler, Chris Parnell,

Kenan Thompson

Thoughts- Always good to see Hardball as I was very

dissapointed that they cut this from the Sharpton

show. While this was very very funny it was not as

good as previous Hardballs as some jokes (especially

Amy's Hillary) seemed to fall flat. Kenan was

hilarious as Carol Mosely Braun and I always enjoy

Parnell's Lieberman. A fun Hardball although a bit

below what I expected. ***1/2

 

Monologue

Cast- Chris Kattan, Elijah Wood

Thoughts- Chris Kattan just won't go away will he? I

don't mind his Gollum but damn- does anyone actually

leave the show? I loved the thing on Gollum's show as

I was a huge Perfect Strangers mark and I enjoy being

reminded of Balki's adventures of trying to fit in

with Cousin Larry. The Tina Fey mention was also quite

funny. In dress Elijah seemed very nervous but I'm

glad to see he loosened up. ***

 

Who is the Highest?

Cast- Wood, Jimmy Fallon, Will Forte, Thompson

Thoughts- All these guys were awesome here. Will Forte

is just a funny guy and he was used to perfection. I

enjoyed Jimmy and he was able to keep himself together

for the most part. Elijah was great and even Kenan got

himself a few laughs. The stuff with the gum, nailing

him in the groin- all great stuff. Good to see SNL

playing to people's strengths and letting them go out

there and be funny. ****1/2

 

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

Cast- Wood, Parnell, Seth Meyers, Fallon, Horatio

Sanz, Rachel Dratch, Fred Armisen

Thoughts- I haven't seen Queer Eye... so I admit that

a lot of the humour of the skit was probably lost on

me. I didn't find it to be very funny- Seth was not

very good at playing a gay guy. The stuff at the end

with Santa showing off was kinda funny as were some of

the Queer Eye lines. I guess maybe I need to see the

show but a lot of the humour fell flat with me. *1/2

 

Fun with Real Audio

Thoughts- Great to see Robert Smigel back even though

this wasn't one of his efforts. Give us an Ambigously

Gay Duo or SOMETHING Robert. The part with Bush in

Africa was hilarious and was one of the funniest

things of the show. The rest was the usual lame Fun

with Real Audio stuff. But man- I loved Bush in

Africa. **1/2

 

Wake Up Wakefield

Cast- Wood, Maya Rudolph, Dratch, Sanz

Thoughts- I really don't get why they still continue

to do this. Whatever happened to Randy Goldman? The

Clay Aiken thing wasn't really funny and it made the

skit drag on like it usually does. Elijah Wood and

Sanz were funny here but Wake Up Wakefield is just not

very funny. The characters are not funny, the concept

is not funny- Wake Up Wakefield is just not a

humourous concept. **1/4

 

Jet

Thoughts- I had never heard of these guys before SNL-

I just remember people kept mentioning an IPod

commercial. This song was very good and was a lot of

fun to listen to live. ***1/4

 

Weekend Update

Cast- Tina Fey, Fallon, Rudolph, Thompson, Finesse

Mitchell

Thoughts- A fantastic addition of Weekend Update. Only

a couple of low points and most of the jokes were

awesome. They also cut out a lot of the bad jokes

which is always good. I thought Holiday Wishes with

John Mayer was very funny. While Tina's rant was a bit

stupid, she explained why she did it in dress (the

Mayer thing) so that's okay. Jimmy Fallon Explains

What You Did was a lot better in dress then in the

live show- it just seemed to fall flat in the live

version. The Whitney Houston thing just went on for

too long but Kenan was hilarious. The dragging on of

the Whitney thing was probably the one thing I didn't

like from Update. This was a top notch addition

otherwise. ****1/2

 

Versace

Cast- Wood, Rudolph, Sanz

Thoughts- Everytime I do standby they always do

Versace- I swear. This was the usual Versace crap but

I thought Elijah Wood was hilarious as Boy George- He

looked exactly like Boy George and was funny to boot.

Horatio as Rosie O'Donnell was amusing even though I

don't get why so many people like it. Watching Versace

is like having too many vaginal blood farts. And

that's not good. *3/4

 

Gore and Dean

Cast- Hammond, Jeff Richards

Thoughts- Good to see them giving Jeff Howard Dean as

this should give him a lot of airtime with an

impression that so far I like. It was nice seeing

Darrell's Gore as I thought it was funny. This skit

started out slowly and it took a little long to get

going. But once it going it was hilarious. Tons of

good lines from both characters made this great. SNL

is always good at political humour so I look forward

to seeing how they handle the 2004 election. ***1/2

 

 

Buddy Mills

Cast- Kattan, Wood, Fey, Poehler, Dratch, Rudolph,

Armisen

Thoughts- Dean Edwards has to return next time- just

has to! Buddy Mills was growing on me last year but

this didn't really do it for me. Fred Armisen was his

usual awesome self but that was about it. Wood looked

too much like Kirk Cameron for my tastes and his bit

with Kattan wasn't all that good. At least Kattan did

this and not crap like Mango but I just don't like

them letting all these former cast members hog

airtime. *1/4

 

Jet

Thoughts- I didn't enjoy this song as much as I did

the first one. It was just too slowish and dull for me

to get into. **

 

The Bottom Line- Avg. skit was **.8 making this a

thumbs up show. There were two ****1/2 skits which is

always good and a lot of consistent good funny skits.

It's a shame they cut out a lot of good stuff since

this good episode could've been a great one. Elijah

was an excellent host and I would love to see him

back. Overall it was a really good show and I hope SNL

keeps up the momentum next year.

 

Thumbs Up

 

Midgets, Felonies and Fred Armisen-

 

When we last left me at the standby line- I did

standby while really sick and almost died, experienced

the grunting power of John Goodman and tried to

convince Al Roker to lose weight.

 

I arrived at the standby line and found that my #1

streak was broken and I was #3. I was very excited

about being back at standby since something always

happens. To ensure this I made sure to bring something

that would pass the time: A porno magazine from 5

years ago. I learned that people will look at you if

you open a porn mag on a busy street. I also learned

even more people will look at you if you show little

kids your porno mag. I wonder if this stuff happens at

the MAD TV standby line. I also learned that parents

don't like when you tell their kid that you killed

Santa Clause. Who knew?

 

I went inside and saw Rachel Dratch walk in. Please

hold your applause- everyone else did. My friend and I

were discussing the impact Adam Walsh's kidnapping on

our life when John Walsh! came in. I shook Walsh's

hand and said hello as my two friends looked on in

starstruck awe. I met Julia Roberts on Thursday but

for some reason meeting John Walsh is so much cooler.

 

We soon saw Max Weinberg and he bumped into a guard-

good ole clumsy perverted Max. Lenny Pickett walked

by. Amy Poehler walked by the standby line- I was the

only one who recognised her and said hello. I went

inside and met Finesse Mitchell. He was a nice guy

even though I don't think he liked me asking if he was

having trouble filling Dean's shoes. Still- Finesse

was a cool guy. Then I went in and out of NBC and ran

into....

 

SETH!~

 

Our favourite Boston Red Sox fan was actually at Game

7 of the ALCS- that's gotta SUCK. All Grady had to do

was TAKE HIM OUT. I complained about his lack of

WU-ness and hinted that I was not a Sanz Update fan.

 

We got moved to the 49th st side which was good cause

I got to meet ROBIN WILLIAMS!~!~!~~~~!~! He shook my

hand and was really cool and totally nice.

 

One person who wasn't nice was a midget. We were

laughing at stuff as this midget walked by and he

thought we were laughing at him. He called me a prick

and threatened to kick me in the face. I was shocked-

I thought he would try to bite my ankles. You would

think midgets would be nice but I guess they really

take that midget thing personally.

 

Amy Poehler came out and she talked to everyone for a

good bit. I learned that uttering the words 'John' and

'Ritter' will depress a group of people and kill any

good mood that a group of people are in. In all

fairness we were talking about the movie North. Amy

was really nice to everyone which is always good to

see.

 

Darrell Hammond came down and said he hopes George

Bush wins the election for his impression sake. After

hearing that I was thinking of voting for John

Edwards. Darrell said that the show was 'pretty good'

which worried me since well pretty good probably means

pretty bad for the people who don't work on the show.

 

Jimmy Fallon came down and as usual he was totally

awesome. He talked to me and my friend despite getting

mobbed and harrassed by tons and tons of fans. Jeff

Richards came down and told me they were doing

O'Reilly tomorrow and he did some of his impression

for me. Caution, caution.

 

Chris Kattan came down and shook my hand despite the

fact that I hate him so. Elijah Wood came down and was

really awesome. He was really tired yet he signed and

took pictures with everyone. He told me thinks Return

of the King is the best in the trilogy. Elijah Wood

was a really cool down to earth guy.

 

Lorne Michaels came down and I asked him if he was

really tired and he said yes. So I let him pass. I

also ran into my girl Sue Simmons who was her usual a

awesome self.

 

Then something magical happened. For the first time

since September 29th, 2001- I saw Tina Fey come out on

Saturday morning. Tina was talking to someone so I

didn't want to bother her and we just exchanged

hellos.

 

I spent the next 4 hrs trying to keep warm. Wearing

shorts, freezing weather and sitting outside is not a

great combination- but the porn magazine really helped

standby morale.

 

They give out the tickets at 6:45 am and I was #3 for

dress rehearsal. Woo-hoo.

 

Later that afternoon I was taking the subway and I saw

Fred Armisen. I went up to him and we were talking for

a long time. He told me he likes dress rehearsal a lot

more then live because of all the great skits you'll

see that will never make it to air. I asked him why

they cut some awesome stuff and he basically said they

cut skits for the dumbest reasons and he doesn't even

understand why. He promised me a great show but then

conceded he laughs at everything. A common theme was

how good Elijah Wood was. Darrell, Amy and Fred all

praised him and said he was a great guy. After meeting

him I have to agree with them. Fred was a cool guy and

made a mundane boring train ride a lot more fun.

 

I went back to SNL later that night having gotten a

grand total of 45 minutes of sleep. Not to worry- I

had all my superstitions ready and was ready to find

out whether I got in. Oh who am I kidding- the musical

guest was freaking Jet- of course I got in.

 

THE DRESS REHEARSAL-

 

Jimmy did the warmup. He played 'Snowball' and 'Merry

Christmas- let's not fight' by the Ramones. Fred

Armisen played the drums for the second one and did a

good job. Jimmy was quite funny in the warmup and he

in fact- warmed me up quite well.

 

Here's What Got Cut-

 

Celeb Poker Showdown-

 

Seth was Carrot Top, Elijah was Jack Osbourne, Parnell

was the host, Darrell was Kevin Pollack, Horatio was

Gene Shalit and Tina was Megan Mullany.

 

Tina was showing MEGA cleavage so this was awesome.

Steve Higgins was the writer. This skit was hilarious

with all the impressions being funny with Seth's

Carrot Top being the best. ****1/4

 

Al Gore-

Al Gore goes around New York City telling people why

he's endorsing Dean. Usual funny Gore stuff. ***

 

Bad Soundsystem

Elijah Wood is trying to give a speech but the

microphone keeps fucking up. Fred is the sound guy

trying to fix it all. Rachel is Reba McEntire. Not

funny. *

 

Dinner

Elijah brings home his new girlfriend, played by

Rachel Dratch, and she is quite crazy. Hilarity (well

not) ensues. Fred Armisen was funny as an old man.

3/4*

 

The New Channukah

Parnell tells people his newest ideas to hip up

Channukah. It started out slow but got really really

funny. ***

 

Christmas Carol

Scrooge (Seth) goes to visit Bob Cratchett (Parny) and

finds out that he's not as poor as he thought he was.

Some amusing lines and moments. *1/2

 

O'Reilly Factor

Bill O'Reilly interviews Ann Coulter, Geraldo Rivera

and a 6 year old boy about Christmas. Jeff's O'Reilly

was awesome as usual even though it got no response. I

was laughing my ass off trying to get it on the air.

This was hilarious and it's a shame that it got cut.

****

 

 

Well that's the report from another SNL trip. Standby

is a lot of fun and it sounds like it's getting really

easy to get in so I recomend everyone give it a shot.

 

Just don't piss off the midgets.

[Guest Mindless_Aggression]

I shall just state the obvious...Memphis is better than New Jersey.

 

But yes, continuos good work, I salute you.

[bob_barron 0]

Well Memphis never signed players with unworking kidneys. The Nets did

[Guest JMA]

This was one of the better SNL shows of the new season.

[Guest Mindless_Aggression]

Yes, true, but Memphis also just has a lot more talent. The Nets have the overall better player out of the the 2 teams (Kidd) but Memphis is shockingly deep when you look at their roster.

[bob_barron 0]

Yea- It's right up there with the first two shows of the seasons.

 

Jennifer Aniston should be a really good show- She's really good at comedy and was great the last time she hosted.

[Mole 0]

Where did you meet Bill in Long Island?

[Vern Gagne 0]

Any reason why Celebrity Poker or O'Reilly was cut?

[bob_barron 0]

Bill was at Cosco's in Westbury. He's on Conan on Friday if you want to meet him.

 

 

I'm surprised Poker was cut. Steven Higgins wrote it (He was the guy in the Timberlake monologue) and he's 3rd in the writer chain of command so you would think he'd have some pull. But like Fred Armisen said: Things get cut for the dumbest reasons. Maybe they couldnt fit it in, Elijah didnt like it, Tina showed too much cleavage- who knows.

 

O'Reilly was probably cut since I was the only one who laughed my ass off at it.

[Mecha Mummy 0]

I thought O'Reilly was cut because both Hardball and O'Reilly in one night seems like a bit much, but your reason could be right too.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

One person who wasn't nice was a midget. We were laughing at stuff as this midget walked by and he thought we were laughing at him. He called me a prick and threatened to kick me in the face. I was shocked- I thought he would try to bite my ankles. You would think midgets would be nice but I guess they really take that midget thing personally.

Must...resist...making...Dames...joke...

 

Jimmy was quite funny in the warmup and he in fact- warmed me up quite well.

Awww, Bob's got a crush

 

Tina was showing MEGA cleavage so this was awesome.

I demand pictures!

[bob_barron 0]

They also had another political themed skit with Gore and Dean and a cut skit with Al Gore

[bob_barron 0]

I would've taken a picture but then 5 NBC guards would've beat the hell out of me and taken my camera- so it wasn't worth it.

 

It reminded me of the skit they cut where Amy Poehler was a stripper... good times.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

Well, then you're left w/ no other choice but to convince Tina to get into the same costume the next time you're there in order to get a pic.

[Chazz 0]

Hey Bob, how close did you and The Midget come to exchanging blows? Now that would've been worth the wait,IMO.

[bob_barron 0]

He just kept yelling at me- I had my back turned so he wouldnt see that I was laughing at him. I just kept telling him that I wasn't laughing at him and waited for him to finally leave

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

Bob: You keep saying "addition" when you mean "edition." Other then that; you're golden.

 

Oh and how come the "All That" kid is consistantly the funniest guy on SNL? Don't get me wrong, he wins me over more and more, but could anyone picture this a year ago?

 

Kenan Thompson > All of the people SNL are pushing (Maya, Parnell, Sanz etc.)

[MDH257 0]

This was a good episode. Nothing as great, but nothing was horrible either either. I'd say it was the second best show of the season, after Timberlake.

 

Hearing about Celebrity Poker makes me wish they hadn't cut it.