Funny site about Hosses

[Guest BillyTheStud]

http://www.angelfire.com/wrestling3/funnyw...stlers/Hoss.htm

 

Q: What is a hoss?

 

 

 

A: The term hoss refers to a specific type of wrestler. In order to be a hoss, a wrestler needs meet certain criterion. They are, in no particular order:

 

1.    Being very tall.

 

2.    Being overweight to some degree, i.e. having a beer-gut or some flab around the abs.

 

3.    Having a very limited set of moves.

 

4.    Their move set consists mainly of hitting people very hard.

 

5.    Being a bad-ass in general, as indicated by a quick temper and very little empathy.

 

6.    Being fairly slow in the ring.

 

 

[deancoles 0]

http://www.angelfire.com/wrestling3/funnyw...stlers/Hoss.htm

 

Q: What is a hoss?

 

 

 

A: The term hoss refers to a specific type of wrestler. In order to be a hoss, a wrestler needs meet certain criterion. They are, in no particular order:

 

1.     Being very tall.

 

2.     Being overweight to some degree, i.e. having a beer-gut or some flab around the abs.

 

3.     Having a very limited set of moves.

 

4.     Their move set consists mainly of hitting people very hard.

 

5.     Being a bad-ass in general, as indicated by a quick temper and very little empathy.

 

6.     Being fairly slow in the ring.

 

 

7.Being Pushed by the wwe

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Some believe that he is a sort of “überhoss”, while others claim such a hoss is only possible in theory."

 

...now THAT'S funny.

[deancoles 0]

This is good about Matt Morgan:"He had his in ring-debut last week on Smackdown, in which he showcased his wrestling prowess by putting Chris Benoit in a bear hug"

 

Edit:The Test profile looks like something Anglesault would write.

[Guest Mulatto Heat]

"Matt Morgan was one of the competitors on the Tough Enough TV show, but he got injured early on and was unable to finish the show. Fortunately, the WWE was not about to let a hoss like this slip through their fingers."

 

Ain't it the truth.

 

How can that site leave out John Hossenfeffer? Come on...

 

P.S. I will be very disappointed if those that argued with me about the Hossenfeffer and Morgan pushes back in November don't say anything in this thread. You know who you are.

[J. Hungerford Smith 0]

I've never laughed so hard at a gay wrestling parody site.

 

Brilliant.

[SamoaRowe 0]

"Matt Morgan was one of the competitors on the Tough Enough TV show, but he got injured early on and was unable to finish the show. Fortunately, the WWE was not about to let a hoss like this slip through their fingers."

 

Ain't it the truth.

 

How can that site leave out John Hossenfeffer? Come on...

 

P.S. I will be very disappointed if those that argued with me about the Hossenfeffer and Morgan pushes back in November don't say anything in this thread. You know who you are.

Hehe, I hope I wasn't one of those people. I never totally disliked John Heidenreich (though his tendency to injure Stevie Richards is troubling) but Matt Morgan never stood out as good or sucking to me. He's sort of just there.

[caboose 0]

And we've crashed the site.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Crashed it? Aw crap it's like Mighty Morphin Power Kangers all over again.

[Jobber of the Week 0]

Well, congratulations, you found the one page on AngelFire that's actually funny.

 

Needle in the haystack, right there.

[Steviekick 0]

Crashed it? Aw crap it's like Mighty Morphin Power Kangers all over again.

What ever happened to Power Kangers?

[DerangedHermit 0]

Crashed it? Aw crap it's like Mighty Morphin Power Kangers all over again.

What ever happened to Power Kangers?

Uhh......Rico Revolto destroyed the site and their powers?

[tetsubeav 0]

Here's a cached version of the page from Google... just missing the pics:

 

http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navc...lers%2FHoss.htm

[The Tino Standard 0]

Q: Can a woman be a hoss?

 

 

 

A: Absolutely not. The closest thing to a female hoss is a “jezebel”, which is what J.R. deems any woman who is evil, tricky, psychotic, or in any way hoss-like.

 

 

 

Q: What about Jazz?

 

 

 

A: Good question. Jazz is indeed very manly, perhaps even more so than some of the male wrestlers. Nevertheless, she is still only a jezebel, although she is one of J.R.’s favorite jezebels.

 

LMAO

[Guest ftwdevils2469]

Crashed it? Aw crap it's like Mighty Morphin Power Kangers all over again.

What ever happened to Power Kangers?

Uhh......Rico Revolto destroyed the site and their powers?

the site got moved to powerkangers.com but he soon couldn't pay for it anymore so the site is gone.

[Steviekick 0]

No more power kangers? Damn it to hell!

[Guest Your Olympic Hero]

Q: Can a woman be a hoss?

 

 

 

A: Absolutely not. The closest thing to a female hoss is a “jezebel”, which is what J.R. deems any woman who is evil, tricky, psychotic, or in any way hoss-like.

 

 

 

Q: What about Jazz?

 

 

 

A: Good question. Jazz is indeed very manly, perhaps even more so than some of the male wrestlers. Nevertheless, she is still only a jezebel, although she is one of J.R.’s favorite jezebels.

 

LMAO

I thought the correct term for the female hoss was "Amazon" not "Jezebel"

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Yeah, it is. A Jezebel is a pretty troublemaker. Tori is probably JR's favourite Jezebel (though I wouldn't exactly call her "pretty"). Then there's a "witch" who is also a troublemaker, but gets more physical (Heel Trish, Victoria), then there is an "Amazon" who is all muscle.

[Guest Dynamite Kido]

The Undertaker- The Undertaker of recent years is also about as hoss-like as you can get. His relatively small move set, inclination towards attacking basically anyone who talks to him, and general lack of muscle definition make him a highly-esteemed athlete in the eyes of J.R. The only thing that might make him slightly less of a hoss than Bradshaw is that fact that Bradshaw drinks much more beer. Undertaker enjoys squashing wrestlers, not selling, slowly and methodically punching people, and rambling on the mic while meandering about the ring as onlookers attempt to keep from falling asleep.

 

But he does MMA moves!!!?!?!?!?

 

[/sarcasm]

[AndrewTS 0]

P.S. I will be very disappointed if those that argued with me about the Hossenfeffer and Morgan pushes back in November don't say anything in this thread. You know who you are.

 

They have potential! Give them a chance!

 

Q: Is Steve Austin a Hoss?

 

A: There is much speculation in the world of hoss experts about this question. The general consensus is that he is not. He is undoubtedly J.R.’s favorite wrestler and is definitely a bad-ass. Despite this, he is far too good in the ring to be a hoss, is in better shape than any hoss, and is more popular with the fans than any hoss can ever hope to be.

 

Didn't JR himself call Austin a hoss at least once?

Edited January 5, 2004 by AndrewTS

[Guest FrigidSoul]

Albert is also very hairy, but whether this affects his hossness or not is still unknown.

 

I think that pushes him from the Hoss grouping over to the Lummox grouping

[Crimson Platypus 0]

Bradshaw- Bradshaw epitomizes what a hoss should be. He has all the necessary characteristics to be a hoss. His finisher, the clothesline from hell, is just like a regular clothesline, except it is from Bradshaw and is done really hard.

 

That had me laughing for at least 2 minutes.

[Guest Sleekster]

J.R called Charlie Haas a Hoss at the Royal Rumble, and he doesn't meet any of the criteria.

 

And if A-Train can be fat and a hoss, then Big Show is too...