Mr. S£im Citrus 0 Report post Posted February 14, 2004 SWF Lockdown HOLT report February 11, 2004 Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania at Mellon Arena Report by Brian Miller of Kittanning, PA Smartmarks.com reader Dark Matches: - CIA beat Jimmy “The Demon” Liston in 3:58 with the Air Canada. - Jay Dawg beat Xstasy in 8:14 with JD’s Avenge. - Bemani Cross Wizards beat Déjà Vu in 6:25 when Thoth hit Kris (I think it was Kris) with the Scum Gale. - Michael Craven beat Crow in 9:41 with the Gulf Coast Crunch. - Tom Flesher beat Judge Mental in 13:07 with the Ego Trip. Lockdown: - Pretty bad night for the Unnamed; they started the show talking mad shit, and ended up going 0-for the night! - Funyon got in the ring and announced that both Jacob Helmsley and Mike Van Siclen failed to catch their flight from Dayton International, and would therefore be unable to compete. David Blazenwing then came down to the ring, carrying a bag of hammers and took the microphone away from Funyon. He claimed that it was discriminatory that the rest of the JL were all promoted to the SWF and he wasn’t, and demanded to be shown the attention that he felt he deserved. He pulled four hammers out of the bag and said that he was going to juggle them in the center of the ring until Grand Slam came down and gave him a full-time SWF contract. He was actually doing okay for a few seconds, but then he lost control of the hammers and managed to drop all four on the top of his head, knocking himself out. Jim Phelps then came down to the ring and grabbed Blazenwing by the ear, forcibly removing him from the ring to the delight of the crowd. - There was a giveaway after the cage match with the grand prize being two tickets to Battleground. Renegade was the emcee, and the winner was a guy that had floor seats at ringside; some fucking people get all the luck! - A Sleeper hold? A *SLEEPER* hold? For fuck’s sake, Matthews can’t even exact his revenge without being boring! - After the show went off the air, Ann got on the microphone and invited Va’aiga to come get his belt back. Once he got back into the ring, she handed it over to him without any resistance, to the dismay of a few people, and said that Grand Slam was responsible for booking the match, and that she didn’t want there to any hard feeling between the two of them, since they used to be friends. Va’aiga seemed to accept this, and they lit up a couple of Frost-brand® cigars, enjoying a leisurely smoke in the center of the ring while the reminisced about old times on the road. Then they cracked open a six-pack of Frost-brand® beer and drained them. After a while, they stared singing old rock-and-roll songs, like it was karaoke night, and let me tell you, you haven’t heard awful until you’ve heard Va’aiga trying to cover Goo Goo Dolls a capella. Then, just as they started into a rousing rendition of “What’s My Name,” Ann caught him sleeping with a Dropkiss! Va’aiga never saw it coming, and fell to the mat, beer flying out of his mouth! Ann picked him back up and hit him with another Daybreak Pedigree, which made the crowd pop HUGE! She dropped the Heavyweight Title on his chest and walked out of the ring with Alison, the crowd chanting “I-CHI-BAN” behind them as they headed back up the ramp. Biggest Pops 1) Ann Onita 2) Dace Night 3) Wildchild 4) Grand Slam 5) Alan Clark Most Heat 1) Va’aiga 2) HVT 3) John Duran 4) Landon Maddix 5) Todd Royal Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muzz 0 Report post Posted February 14, 2004 You forgot the part where Linchpin came out and sawed Annie's lips off. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Aecas Report post Posted February 14, 2004 Still enjoyable stuff to read as ever WC. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AnnieEclectic 0 Report post Posted February 14, 2004 You forgot the part where Linchpin came out and sawed Annie's lips off. ... I almost hope you mean the ones on my face.... Excellent HOLT report, I love these things, by the way. I laughed at the "Sleeper hold.... SLEEPER???" part, I'm sure if Smarks could have watched these matches, Grappler would have gotten the same flack. ... what's "What's My Name"? (Y) at being the biggest pop of the night. -Annie Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muzz 0 Report post Posted February 14, 2004 You forgot the part where Linchpin came out and sawed Annie's lips off. ... I almost hope you mean the ones on my face.... Wouldn't you like to know. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. S£im Citrus 0 Report post Posted February 14, 2004 ... what's "What's My Name"? That would be Va'aiga's ring music, at least according to his stats. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Crowe 0 Report post Posted February 15, 2004 - Michael Craven beat Crow in 9:41 with the Gulf Coast Crunch. You did that just to spite me, didn't you!? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Crowe 0 Report post Posted February 18, 2004 *actually got round to reading the rest of this* Bwahahahahaha @ Blazenwing!!! And that after show bit with Annie and Va'aiga was very well done, that stupid fucking maori. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
