Smackdown (*Spoilers*) for 03/11/04

[Kurt Angle Mark 0]

By Mike Johnson

 

- A video on Steve Austin and his missing ATV was shown.

 

- John Cena came to the ring and cut a rap on the Big Show

 

- John Cena defeated Rhyno with the FU in a squash.

 

- Many Smackdown wrestlers were entering a room, with Dawn Marie saying that General Manager Paul Heyman was calling a "Smackdown talent meeting" tonight.

 

- Paul Heyman held a "talent meeting" with the entire Smackdown roster backstage. He told the wrestlers that, while they may not like him, they are part of the Smackdown brand, and that the Smackdown brand puts food on their tables and pays for their children to go to college. Heyman said that "their Brock Lesnar" was going to confront Steve Austin tonight, and that the whole Smackdown roster should protect Lesnar, since they are all part of Smackdown.

 

- Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble, with Chavo Guerrero Jr. on commentary, went for about five minutes, when Yoshihiro Tajiri, Akio & Sakoda ran in and interfered. Ultimo Dragon, Billy Kidman and Sho Funaki made the save, and the match was changed into an eight-man tag match.

 

- Rey Mysterio, Ultimo Dragon, Billy Kidman & Sho Funaki defeated Jamie Noble, Yoshihiro Tajiri, Akio & Sakoda. Chavo Jr. interfered, holding Rey for Noble, but Rey moved, and Noble hit Chavo. Rey then rolled up Noble for the win. Shannon Moore came out and attacked Rey Mysterio, and Nunzio came out and attacked Chavo Jr. and soon all the Cruiserweights were going at it in a huge brawl.

 

- Backstage, Paul Heyman was telling the FBI that tonight they had "Smackdown's back" to cover. Heyman was radioed that Austin had been located in the building.

 

- Eddie Guerrero came out and cut a promo about how Kurt Angle keeps saying he doesn't deserve to be the WWE Champion. Eddie said that he thinks Kurt Angle "talks the talk" but can't "walk the walk". Eddie said that after Wrestlemania, he will still be WWE Champion, and he will "lie, cheat and steal" more than ever.

 

- Eddie Guerrero defeated Shelton Benjamin. The referee tossed out Charlie Haas early in the match, but later in the bout, the referee was bumped to the floor, and Haas reentered through the crowd. Haas tossed Benjamin the title belt, but Eddie dropkicked it into Benjamin. Eddie then hit Haas with the belt, then laid down in the ring, so the referee (who was starting to get back into the ring) wouldn't know who had used the belt. Eddie got up and hit Benjamin with the frog splash for the win.

 

- Kurt Angle appeared in the aisle and just stared at Guerrero. Angle made a motion with his hands around his waist, insinuating that he would get the belt at Wrestlemania, and continued to stare at Guerrero. Angle's music played, and Kurt walked to the back, leaving Guerrero with a concerned look on his face.

 

- Paul Heyman ran into Orlando Jordan backstage, and asked if he was going to help protect Smackdown tonight from Steve Austin. Jordan said he would, but also said that he respects Steve Austin. Heyman, not happy with what he said, told Jordan he needed to decide if he respects Austin or disrespects his job at Smackdown.

 

- The Big Show defeated John Walters & Arch Kincaid in a handicap match when Show pinned Walters with a chokeslam. Post-match, John Cena ran out and engaged in a brief brawl with Big Show.

 

- Paul Heyman saw that the APA was guarding a door to the building, and went over and thanked them for supporting Smackdown. He began kissing up to them, saying he got them a tag title match at Wrestlemania because if they win the belts, it will be "good for Smackdown". The APA weren't buying Heyman's kissing up, but told him that he should not question their loyalty to Smackdown.

 

- WWE Tag Team Champions Rikishi & Scotty 2 Hotty defeated The Bashams in a non-title match.

 

- The Steve Austin-Bill Goldberg-Brock Lesnar video package from Raw was shown.

 

- We saw that Steve Austin's truck, which had been in front of the building earlier, was now gone.

 

- Paul Heyman came to the ring, with the Smackdown roster lining the aisle. He brought out Brock Lesnar, who rode to the ring on Austin's ATV. Brock challenged Austin to come to the ring, but there was no response. Austin finally did come out, and the Smackdown roster let him walk to the ring unabated. The roster went to the locker room, leaving Lesnar and Heyman in the ring alone. Austin got on his ATV and started to leave, but stopped it in the middle of the aisle and went back to the ring. Brock and Austin started brawling on the floor, and Austin rammed Brock into the ringpost, busting him open. Back in the ring, Austin gave Heyman a stunner, and Brock grabbed Austin for an F5. Austin escaped the move, and went for a stunner, but Lesnar pushed out of it and escaped to the floor. The show ended with Lesnar, bleeding, on the floor staring at Austin, who was standing in the ring.

 

After the broadcast ended, Austin drove his ATV to the back, and loaded it into the back of his truck, then had the usual beer celebration.

[Guest Choken One]

I hope the CW 8 Man got a LOT of time...

 

The rest is Blah and The Angle/Guerrero should have a more "BAM!" last night sell instead of the boring "heel stares down face" result.

[Guest]

Looks like 2 good matches on paper. But are they?

[Tawren 0]

Looks like they did a much better job building up WMXX than Raw did...we'll see.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

and we thought RAW Sucked.

[DangerousDamon 0]

Are they trying to book Austin vs Lesnar or something?

[BifEverchad 0]

Oh, ok.....so its actually BROCK vs AUSTIN at Wrestlemania?

 

[/sarcasm]

[Guest Anglesault]

It would have been nice for Angle/Eddie to have a bit more of a big final confrontation, but what they did is absolutely acceptable.

 

It also, if you noticed, made sure not to specifically put anyone over, because I think even marks have caught on to the "Wrestler who goes over on last show before PPV loses PPV" formula.

[snuffbox 0]

- John Cena defeated Rhyno with the FU in a squash.

Good Lord....

[Guest Choken One]

Why not...If Matt Hardy gets Squashed...Then Rhyno can.

 

The problem here is that last week A-Train spent 10 minutes fucking up Cena's Injured leg...They should have done that again here, another hoss fucking up Cena's Leg for TBS to take advantage...instead Cena squashes him.

[Guest wrestlingbs]

- John Cena defeated Rhyno with the FU in a squash.

Good Lord....

Remember when the only time you read "John Cena" and "squash" in the same sentence is when someone squashed John Cena?

 

The WWE has done the best they could do with Goldberg vs. Brock, bearing in mind Goldberg only has one more required show in his contract. However, this supposed "dream match" looks like it should have been changed to Austin vs. Goldberg vs. Brock.

[Guest Choken One]

Goldberg, for the good of the angle could have made at least ONE apperence to hype the show...Attacking Brock from behind on Smackdown would have been great while Austin looks on with a half look of joy and another look of fear as Goldberg gives him a quick snarl and "death" scare before he leaves as the Smackdown crew comes out...

 

Austin gets on his ATV and rides off...and Lesnar stands up with a pissed look and we leave.

 

It's NOT that hard to do damn it.

 

It seems at this point, I could actually see them pro-longing this Brock/Austin thing for a Blowoff at SummerSlam when Austin puts him over (what good that does after Taker, Rock, Hogan, Angle, 'Berg already rubbed him, I Don't know)...but it'll be nice if Brock started his own little "I've beaten them all" type run ala HHH (Austin, Rock, Flair, 'Taker, Foley)...leading to the WMXXI Showdown between Brock Lesnar And Triple H (which has apprently already been written in for next year)

[Guest Anglesault]

Goldberg gives him a quick snarl and "death" scare before he leaves as the Smackdown crew comes out...

On that note, does anyone else think FGB's growls and snarls and post spear faces are incredibally stupid looking?

 

It makes an otherwise intimidating man look like a goof.

[Guest Choken One]

depends...The one on his Match Promo screen? Hell Yeah but his curled lip with the squinting half-crooked eyes is fucking goodness.

[Guest Anglesault]

I'm sorry, but if that man walked up to me, I'd be scared.

 

If he walked up to me and made ANY of those faces, I'd have to stifle laughter.

[Guest Mulatto Heat]

On that note, does anyone else think FGB's growls and snarls and post spear faces are incredibally stupid looking?

Yes. It's a big reason why I'm not into him. It's more strange than anything else.

[Guest Choken One]

In WCW, he kept it to a Minimum.

 

At best he did that crazy slap his head and do kicks during his enterance but at least you could always go "well, he's clearly a big bad ass but a INSANE one at that"...

 

Now he does it and you just go "MMM...Right He's mr. Tough guy"

[Lil' Bitch 0]

- The Steve Austin-Bill Goldberg-Brock Lesnar video package from Raw was shown.

 

I thought it fucking sucked. Anybody agree with me?

[Guest Choken One]

I thought it sucked how it went from a Brock/Berg program to Austin/Lesnar rather quickly.

[Guest glennsoe]

Damn !!! John "Hurricane" Walters on Smackdown just made my day !!

 

This guy is incredible in Ring Of Honor and would be a real hit in the cw division !

[Guest JMA]

I think it's safe to say Goldberg is finished after 'Mania. I can't decide whether that's good news or bad news for RAW.

[Guest Choken One]

Bad News and Good News.

 

The Bad News is you lose another big name draw that can move merch sales and occasionaly pop a good rating when hyped/built correctly (see Goldberg-Christian Cage).

 

The Good News is that you eliminate a head case (although Smackdown is dealing with a BIGGER one right now) that hasn't really lived up his "hype" but that's not neccesarily his fault as he did what was asked to do of him and offered to work extra dates. His ability to maintain stability in WWE was the key factor here, as he certaintly wasn't going to just take a paycut just to let HHH and HBK run the show and wasn't going to just settle in as the #2 face behind Shawn or Benoit and eventually Edge...which would have opened a new case of problems.

 

In the end, Goldberg's run wasn't a failure but certaintly wasn't a bust either.

 

Vince is getting what he always initally wanted out of Goldberg...To Use him and make some money but get the point across that His creation (Brock) was more superior then Turner/Bischoff's creation was (which is why Brock/Goldberg was penciled in the second they confirmed Austin/'Berg wouldn't go down).

[Guest JMA]

 

Ahhh, the joy of politics.

[Guest Choken One]

Is that a new one?

 

I kinda like it...It's simple and can be applied to anything.

[haVoc 0]

The cruiser match/es, Eddie/Shelton and the Lesnar/Austin brawl sounds good.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

Certainly sounds better than Raw. I like the idea of Heyman rallying the lockerroom around the idea of "our Smackdown", although having everyone refuse to stand up to Austin shoots it all down. They should really play up the brand loyalty more, besides just having HHH throw out barbs towards SD every few months.

[Guest thebigjig]

Austin beating up Lesnar is exactly like Bischoff beating up Lesnar...

 

So I guess all signs are pointing to Goldberg going over at Mania?

[eirejmcmahon 0]

Lesnar should be left standing over the broken bodies of Goldberg and Austin at Mania.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

Trust me...the Lesnar/Austin/Smackdown lockerroom situation comes off better when you see it than what they described.

 

And I'm happy it was in Atlantic City and I went to work right after the show: I got Shelton Benjamin's autograph...as well as closed Room Service checks for Big Show, Shannon Moore, and Sable.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Rhyno vs Cena was nothing.

 

Heyman rallying the troops in the back was pretty dumb. At one point he said something along the lines of "we're going to show Austin that he doesn't mess with Paul Hey..we're going to show Austin that he doesn't mess with Smackdown". Jamie Noble had a No Way Out shirt on, I dont know why.

 

HOF Video, you've seen it before.

 

Chavo Jr and Chavo Sr come down for commentary for Noble/Mysterio. Chavo Jr is upset about having to defend the title vs the Top 9 contenders. The singles portion goes a little over 3 minutes before all hell broke loose. Chavo senses that all of the Japanese Wrestlers in the CW open will work together against him. Announced that it will be an 8 man match and then we get a commercial. Joined back in progress with Tajiri and Ultimo in the ring. Commentary gets very distracting from the match (camera cuts to the announce table several times) for no reason. Cole eventually agrees to shut up for the rest of the match. Chavo Sr starts talking in spanish. All of this is during an extended duration of Funaki getting beat on, and then he finally makes the tag to Mysterio. Some distracting and backfired interference by the Chavos lead to Rey getting the pin. 8 man went about 7 minutes (so about 10 total for the cruisers). Shannon Moore runs down and beats up Mysterio, Nunzio runs down and kicks Chavo Jr. out of the ring.

 

Austin is in the Arena, and where else would he be besides the beer stand and Heyman runs off to find him. Commercial break.

 

"Last week" video package on the events between Eddy/Angle/Heyman.

 

I dont know if Its new or not, but Eddy has different music..its now "I lie, I cheat, I steal" instead of "We lie,cheat and steal". If its not new I just didnt notice it.

Eddy says hes the only WWE champion ever that encourages lying, cheating and stealing. Crowd was dead for the most part and then an "Eddy Eddy Eddy" chant got started. Some guy yelled "Kurt sucks" and Eddy said "thats right".

 

Eddy and Shelton go for about 2 minutes, then Eddy knocks Shelton out of the ring, Charlie Haas gets up on the apron and Eddy knocks him off and then Nick Patrick orders Haas back to the lockeroom as we go to commercial break.

After the break, the match continues. Charlie Haas eventually comes back down to interfere but that backfires and Eddy gets the pin off the frog splash in a nice match, although a bit short.

 

Torrie/Sable in Las Vegas at some Playboy Party. Yippee.

 

Backstage, no one can find Austin. Orlando Jordan walks in and they have their talk, probably the most talk time Jordan has had in a year.

 

Big Show vs 2 Jobbers already in the ring.One is in short gold tights and one is in long black tights. Neither gets their name mentioned. Show tosses Gold Tights around and slams Black Tights. Show puts a sleeper on Gold Tights and then chokeslams Black Tights for the pin. Cena runs in and attacks show, kicking him out of the ring and taking the US title. Commercial.

 

Taker/Kane promo (revenge is a dish best served DEAD)

 

WGTT makes fun of APA last week..

Heyman is thanking someone as he finds the APA who are standing in front of the doors. The APA going after the Tag Titles is good for Smackdown according to Heyman.

 

Bashams vs Scotty/Rikishi non title. Nothing offensive, nothing special.

 

Lesnar/Goldberg/Austin video and then we see that Austin's truck is gone...where'd it go?? Commercial

 

Kane gets haunted at RAW recap

 

PPV lineup time

 

Heyman leads the Smackdown talent out The talent lines up on both sides of the aisle as we go to break waiting to see if Austin shows.

 

Rock/Sock vs Evolution promo..

 

Heymans in the ring..blah blah blah, Brock Lesnar comes out on the ATV. Lesnar gets "what"ed by the crowd. Lesnar begs Austin to come and get it....weird pause, Brock asks again, and again, and then Austin drives up in the truck. Odd staredown with Billy Gunn and Palumbo who are the first two to greet Austin. They let him by, then Albert and Rey back off. Big Show is the only one to actually stand in Austins way and give him a bit of a staredown (or up in Austins case) but Show eventually gives in and encourages Austin to go after Lesnar as he leads the rest of the roster back to the locker room. Staring contest ensues between Lesnar and Austin with Austin faking trying to get in the ring and Lesnar stomping the mat but missing. Austin takes the ATV and drives it about 1/2 down the aisle and stops and gets off and then they got at it. Austin pretty much takes Lesnar to the woodshed so to speak, raming him into the pole which busts Lesnar open. Austin rolls lesnar in the ring and stunners Heyman. Lesnar is able to get up and tries to F-5 Austin which is countered into a Stunner which is countered and Lesnar rolls out of the ring. More staring at a distance between the two, as we see Lesnar is busted open, Austins music hits and he gets on his ATV and rides it around the ring, almost running over Paul Heyman, and then loads his ATV up on his truck. Tazz asks what Austins doing with the ramps in the back of his truck (stupid much?) and then Austin celebrates on top of his truck.

 

End of show.

 

Compared to RAW, this show was a lot better but it was still very lackluster. Best match is Eddy/Shelton, the Cruisers get 10 minutes total, although 7 of that is the 8 man and most of that was unenjoyable because of the commentary. Worst match is obviously the Big Show Handicapped match, I don't even know why they bothered with having a match.