Spoon's Facial Hair Telethon

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Kotzenjunge should really grow some sideburns. What does everyone else think?

 

Please describe your ideal scruffle, both style and quantity, for everyone's favorite Pee Wee Herman impersonator.

 

I'm thinking thick porkchop sideburns, with a gay pencil nib goatee.

[Youth N Asia 0]

*sucker punches Agent*

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Thankfully, the combination of my thick masculine goatee, and your flimsy girl wrist completely nullified any theoretical impact that punch could have had.

 

That would've killed poor Kotzenjunge, though.

[Youth N Asia 0]

...shit

[1234-5678 0]

Constant 5 o clock shadow along with a shaggy goatee.

[Ripper 0]

Is he gonna keep the glasses...this is very important in the what kind of facial hair question.

[Guest T®ITEC]

Lash LeRoux's sideburns. Those things were hot.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

 

Can't get you out of my head...

[Slayer 0]

 

Come on Kotz, what was so hard about maintaining this look?

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

See, he should grow the sides out more, and get that bushy irish manly edge he needs, even if he's not irish. His name's Patrick though, so he could lie and get away with it. He can still keep the artsy fop look with the little beret-complimenting nib goatee, but the interim scrag in the subcheek neck quarters has to go.

[Guest Dids]

Gotta rock the side burns. I do- but my hair is so blonde that nobody can notice until they get out of hand.

 

Facial hair is where it's at. If my many chins wouldn't make it look assinine, I'd rock the pimp micro beard.

[Art Sandusky 0]

I got tired of trimming the Lincoln beard, so I got rid of it.

 

I've gone with the safe choice of some moderate sideburns, which will reach down to where my earlobes meet the sides of my face. I'm reminded why I always failed when I tried this before, that being that the right sideburn is coming in as wide as the hair above it, but not very thickly. On the left, it comes in nice and thick, but the sideburn isn't as wide as the right.

 

My facial hair can't even grow properly.

 

EDIT: one also has to consider how this stuff would look with my various hats (fedora, the usual Tennessee/Green Bay cap, and the "military dictator beret").

[Nevermortal 0]

I'm thinking a Scott Ian style goatee might be in order.

[Guest Dids]

I've gone with the safe choice of some moderate sideburns, which will reach down to where my earlobes meet the sides of my face. I'm reminded why I always failed when I tried this before, that being that the right sideburn is coming in as wide as the hair above it, but not very thickly. On the left, it comes in nice and thick, but the sideburn isn't as wide as the right.

I have the same problem. Stupid hair. I'm trying to grow mine out- which is pretty much an exercise in not getting drunk and shaving it off like I usually do.

[Ripper 0]

I say let it grow and then cut "SPOON" in your beard...kinda like Prince had "SLAVE" cut in his.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Well, the idea is to tweak the image for relationship-encouraging purposes, and since I discourage girls from calling me "Spoon," that wouldn't be the best to do.

[Ripper 0]

Well, the idea is to tweak the image for relationship-encouraging purposes, and since I discourage girls from calling me "Spoon," that wouldn't be the best to do.

Well...you could try something deep and meaningful. Like cut "Exist" in your beard, and when women ask what it means, tell them that with out love, you don't really live, you only exist...and you want to live...

 

 

Yes...I'm saying take the Mole route.

 

 

...

 

 

actually...that was kinda hot.

 

*remembers that one*

[Nighthawk 0]

You need to do your best to look like this:

 

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

This thread is rather depressing, to me at least.

[Nighthawk 0]

Now that John Holmes is here, it should be depressing to everyone. And if it's not, I'd like to meet you.

[Slayer 0]

You need to do your best to look like this:

 

So you want Kotz to get AIDS?

[Nighthawk 0]

Yes. I think it would be funny.

 

But I want him to get it and not die.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Yup, everyone's just dying to have me out of the picture, they're so jealous.

 

That's my basic appearance for the last four months or so.

[Ripper 0]

Yup, everyone's just dying to have me out of the picture, they're so jealous.

 

That's my basic appearance for the last four months or so.

Maybe the ladies think you are a Jehovas Witness.

[Nevermortal 0]

Yup, everyone's just dying to have me out of the picture, they're so jealous.

 

That's my basic appearance for the last four months or so.

He's ready for a baptism in the river.

[Zack Malibu 0]

Thin sideburns/thin goatee. Pimp that shit up, Spoony.

[Guest Dids]

Yup, everyone's just dying to have me out of the picture, they're so jealous.

 

That's my basic appearance for the last four months or so.

The hair is not the problem.

 

There's a strong correlation between wearing hats like that and not getting any. I have personal experience with this. Chick's just don't appreciate a good goofy hat.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Fedoras aren't goofy, bah gawd.

 

EDIT: By "my look," I meant my facial hair look, or a lack of it, just to give an idea of what I look like clean-shaven.

[DerangedHermit 0]

Yup, everyone's just dying to have me out of the picture, they're so jealous.

 

That's my basic appearance for the last four months or so.

You make Popick look like the Ladies' Man, and Barron look like Frankie Muniz now (who gets to mack Hilary Duff).

[Slayer 0]

That's my basic appearance for the last four months or so.

Do you suppose

That waiting hands on eyes

Veronica has gone to hide

And all the time she laughs at those

Who shout her name

And steal her clothes

Veronica

Veronica