Memorable film quotes

[Guest thebigjig]

god I havent seen the Hot Shots movies in years... I think I'm going to buy them next week!

[eiker_ir 0]

get the dvds, they're just like 8 bucks each.

[Guest stardust]

"Have fun storming the castle!"

 

"Death cannot stop true love, all it can do is delay it for a while."

 

"Singed a bit, were we?"

 

"Wuv, twu wuv."

 

"Inconceivable!"

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

 

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

 

All from The Princess Bride

[LaParkaMarka 0]

John Milton: Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do, I swear for His own amusement, his own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. Ahaha. And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughin' His sick, fuckin' ass off. He's a tight-ass. He's a sadist. He's an absentee landlord. Worship that? Never.

 

John Milton: Freedom, baby... is never having to say you're sorry.

 

John Milton: Guilt is like a bag of fuckin' bricks. All ya gotta do is set it down.

 

Kevin Lomax: What about love?

John Milton: Overrated. Biochemically no different than eating large quantities of chocolate.

 

I really liked Devil's Advocate, even though no one else did. The last sequence with Milton, Lomax, and Christabella was excellent, and Pacino really delivered on his anti-god rant.

 

And I'm glad someone posted the best quotes from Casablanca. It's amazing how ubiquitous they've become. Phrases like "the usual suspects" have become part of the common lexicon. It's interesting how much came from that movie.

[Guest thebigjig]

What ruins devils advocate is Keanu Reeves... his performance is horrible and makes me want to laugh and vomit at the same time... a rare feat

 

other than that, the movie is quite good... and Charlize goes full frontal, which gives it extra points

[BlackFlagg 0]

Family Guy, episode 15, I am Peter Hear me Roar

 

mellow music playing on tv

 

two women in bikinis sitting next to a pool applying lotion to the others backs

 

woman 1: Boy that lotion sure feels good!

 

woman 2: Sure is hot!

 

woman 2 removes her top

 

woman 1: And it just got hotter! Here, now let me do you!

 

camera pans to bottle of Pawtucket Patriot Beer

 

ANNOUNCER: Pawtucket Patriot Beer! If you buy it, hot women will have sex in your back yard!

Louis: "Typical male fantasy...women drinking beer. I guarentee you a man made that."

Peter: "Of coruse a man made it, it's a commercial not a delicious Thanksgiving dinner."

[Guest El Satanico]

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: I like to dress in women's clothing.

Georgie Weiss: You're a fruit?

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, not at all. I love women. Wearing their clothes makes me feel closer to them.

Georgie Weiss: You're not a fruit?

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, I'm all man. I even fought in W.W.2. Of course, I was wearing women's undergarments under my uniform.

 

Dolores Fuller: Ed, what's *my* motivation?

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: You're the file clerk. You're running into the next room and you run into Janet.

Dolores Fuller: But are we good friends or is she just a casual acquaintance?

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Dolores, I have five days to complete this picture. Don't get goofy on me.

 

[stepping into water]

Bela Lugosi: GODDAMN, it's cold!

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: It'll warm up once you're in it.

Bela Lugosi: FUCK YOU! You come out here!

 

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Do you know that I've even had producers re-cut my movies?

Orson Welles: I hate when that happens.

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: And they always want to cast their buddies. It doesn't even matter if they're right for the part.

Orson Welles: Tell me about it. I'm supposed to do a thriller at Universal, but they want Charlton Heston to play a Mexican.

 

[bunny Breckenridge is being baptized]

Reverend Lemon: Welcome to the fold, brother. Welcome. Praise the lord, brother. Do you reject Satan and all his evils?

Bunny Breckinridge: Sure.

 

 

Ed Wood...a great movie...

 

fuck you if you disagree, you just don't understand the art of Edward D. Wood Jr.!

[Guest Mosaicv2]

"You FUCK with me? you FUCK with the BEST~!"

 

god I love that quote from Scarface

[Guest thebigjig]

Ed Wood is one of my all time favorites... I was SO pissed off when they delayed the dvd release... AGAIN

 

Dr. Tom Mason (impersonating Bela at church service): I want to suck your blood. I want to suck your blood!

 

Bunny Breckinridge (Bill Murray): Let's hear you call Boris Karloff a cocksucker.

[Cran Da Maniac 0]

There's a sequence from Dracula, Dead and Loving it that I liked. Reinsfeld gets thrown in a insane asylum, and the orderly comes in and says "I hope you rot in here!" two seconds later the orderly is back in the cell

 

Orderly: Ok, we're letting you go

Reinsfeld: Why?

Orderly: for good behavior!

Reinsfeld: But I was only in here for a moment.

Orderly: Yes, but for that moment your behavior was exceptional!

 

Hooper: Check this shit. You got cracker farm boy Luke Skywalker, Nazi poster boy, blond hair, blue eyes. And then you got Darth Vader, the blackest brother in the galaxy, Nubian god!

Banky Edwards: What's a "Nubian"?

Hooper: Shut the fuck up!

 

Chasing Amy

[The Amazing Rando 0]

"...all they is saying, is that deep inside...WE ALL WANNA BE WHITE!"

 

"well isn't that true?"

[Guest JMA]

"Hail to the king, baby!" - Ash, Army of Darkness

 

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." - "Verbal" Kent, The Usual Suspects

 

"There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie and Dim. And we sat in the Korova Milkbar, trying to make up our razudoks what to do with the evening. The Korova Milkbar sold milk-plus; milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and get you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence." - Alex, A Clockwork Orange

 

"There was nothing I hated more than to see a filthy old drunkie, a-howling away at the filthy songs of his fathers and going blurp blurp in between as if it were a filthy old orchestra in his stinking rotten guts. I could never stand to see anyone like that, especially when they were old like this one was." - Alex, A Clockwork Orange

 

"As of now they're on Double SECRET Probation!" - Dean Wormer, Animal House

 

"Can I buy some pot from you?" - "Pinto", Animal House

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

The show can be hit or miss, but That 70's Show has had a couple good zingers.

 

Kitty: "Red, do you think I'm smart?"

Red: "Oh, is that what we're going to do today? We're gonna fight?"

[Guest El Satanico]

Ed Harley: God damn you woman! God damn you!

Old hill woman: He already did, son. He already did.

 

Maggie: Don't worry, God will help us.

[Loads shotgun.]

Tracy: Then what's that for?

Maggie: In case God doesn't show up.

Pumpkinhead

[DCMaximo 0]

San Dimas High School Football RULES

 

High School Jock, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

 

Goddamn, this is one wacky gameshow

 

Jay, Mallrats

 

These are the simple rules. No barking, now growling, you will not lift your leg to anything in this house. This is not your room. No slobbering, no chewing, you will wear a flea collar. This is not your room. No begging for food, no sniffing of crotches, and you will not drink from my toilet. This is not your room.

 

Scott Turner, Turner and Hooch (greatest film of all time)

 

I'm gonna hang up before I catch that new kind of AIDS, hearing AIDS, the kind you get from listening to assholes

 

Artie, Touch

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

I think that Kevin Smith's series of films is the best fo quotes of any ever made.

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

I think that Kevin Smith's series of films is the best fo quotes of any ever made.

Bullshit. All the good stuff is over-exposed.

 

Bond has had one HELL of a lot of cool quotes. I'm thinking of making an EPIC REPLY with all of them.

[Guest thebigjig]

Stewie playing the banjo with his bluegrass band in To Live and Die in Dixie

 

Met her on my CB, said her name was Venie

sounded like an angel come to earth (come to earth)

When I went to meet her, man you should've seen her

twice as tall as me, three times the girth (giiiirth)

My fat baby loves to eat (loves to eat)

a big ol' Buddha belly and her breasts swing past her feet,

My fat baby loves to eeeeeat, my big ol' fat ass baby loves to eat

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

Lou Brown: Come on, you're not going to let her get you down, are you? You guys won last year just to spite her. Maybe, she's what we need.

Jake Taylor: Oh, Skip, they were a different team last year.

Lou Brown: Taylor, it's not your job to make excuses. that's all you guys do good. it's either a leg thing or a spiritual thing, or a psychological thing, or a heart attack.

Jake Taylor: Who used heart attack?

Lou Brown: Me. (collapses from a heart attack)

 

and...... V

God, I love that quote.

 

 

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Doyle: The Indians with 1 run off of.....1 hit? Thats all we got, one god damn hit?!

Other Guy: You can't say god damn.

Doyle: Nobodies listening anyway.

 

-----------

 

Lou: You may run like Mays but you hit like shit.

 

-----------

 

Jake: If you tank another play like that again, I'm gonna cut your nuts off and stick 'em down your fucking throat!

 

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I forgot the exact exchange, but Vaughn's....uh, conversation with the umpire after getting ejected rules.

[HarleyQuinn 0]

Bringing the American Beauty love!

 

LESTER: So Janie, how was school?

 

JANE(suspicious): It was okay.

 

LESTER: Just okay?

 

JANE: No, Dad. It was spec-tac-ular.

 

RICKY: Forgive me, sir, for speaking so bluntly, but those fags make me want to puke my fucking guts out.

 

The Colonel is taken aback but quickly covers.

 

COLONEL: Me too, son. Me too.

 

LESTER: It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about.

 

BRAD(reads): "...my job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off, while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble hell."

 

LESTER (cont'd): Can you prove you didn't offer to save my job if I'd let you blow me?

 

Brad leans back in his chair, studying Lester.

 

BRAD: Man. You are one twisted fuck.

 

LESTER(standing): Nope. I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose.

 

RICKY: When you see something like that, it's like God is looking right at you, just for a second. And if you're careful, you can look right back.

 

JANE: And what do you see?

 

RICKY: Beauty.

 

CAROLYN: Ah, whose car is that out front?

 

LESTER: Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I always wanted and now I have it. I rule!

 

LESTER:Remember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life?" Well, that's true of every day except one.

 

(a beat)

 

The day you die.

 

RICKY: Yes, you are. And you're boring. And you're totally ordinary. And you know it.

 

LESTER (V.O.): I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life...

 

(amused)

 

You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry...You will someday.

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

More Spaceballs:

 

Colonel Sandurz: Prepare ship for light speed.

Dark Helmet: No, no, no, light speed is too slow.

Colonel Sandurz: Light speed, too slow?

Dark Helmet: Yes, we're gonna have to go right to ludicrous speed.

Colonel Sandurz: We've never gone that fast sir, I don't know if the ship can take it.

Dark Helmet: Whats the matter Colonel Sandurz? CHICKEN!?

Colonel Sandurz: (bawking voice) PREPARE SHIP!

 

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Dark Helmet: Come back here you fat bearded bitch!

 

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President Skroob: Why didn't anyone tell me my ass was so big!?

 

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Dakr Helmet: Yogurt! I hate Yogurt! Especially with strawberries!

 

-------

Dark Helmet: You have the ring, and your schwartz is as big as mine. Now, lets see how well you...handle it.

 

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Spaceballs Guy: We've lost the sweep,s we lost the bleeps and we lost the creeps.

Sandurz & Helmet trading off: The what? The what? and the what?

(guy goes into random noises to explain)

Dark Helmet: Thats not all he lost.

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

Igor: Dr. Frankenstein?!

Dr. Fronkenstein: Fronkenstein.

Igor: You're putting me on.

Dr. Fronkenstein: No, it's pronounced Fronkenstein

Igor: Do you also say....Frodderick?

Dr. Fronkenstein: No, it's Fredderick.

Igor: Well why isn't it Frodderick Fronkenstein?

Dr. Fronkenstein :IT isn't, it's Fredderick Fronenstein.

IGor: I See then.

Dr. Fronkenstein: You must be Igor?

Igor: No, it's pronounced "Eye-Gor"

Dr. Fronkenstein: But they told me it was Igor.

Igor: Well they were wrong then weren't they?!

 

Igor: Said-a-......GIVE! Give hima sedagive!

Inga: Tive! Tive! Sedative!

Igor: On the nosey!

(Dr. gets breath back)

Dr. Fronkenstein:.......SEDAGIVE?!!?!

 

(Young Frankenstein)

[Guest thebigjig]

American Beauty

 

Lester: Could someone please pass me the fucking asparagus!

[Guest Mosaicv2]

Young Frankenstein:

 

"You know im a good surgeon... I can fix that hump for you."

"What hump?"

[Guest Mosaicv2]

also from Spaceballs:

 

:as Dark Helmet does his dramatic entrance in the frame... & quickly starin at the camera... whizzlin... he opens the face protector:

 

"I CANT BREATH IN THESE THINGS!"

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

also from Spaceballs:

 

:as Dark Helmet does his dramatic entrance in the frame... & quickly starin at the camera... whizzlin... he opens the face protector:

 

"I CANT BREATH IN THESE THINGS!"

What?! You went over my helmet?!?

 

 

Dark Helmet: Only one man would DARE use raspberry.....LONE STAR!!!! (camera zooms in, hits him in the head and knocks him down)

 

 

PResident Skroob: Comb the desert!!

---------

DH: Found anything yet?

Worker: No sir.

DH: How about you?

Worker: Nothing yet sir!

DH: What about you guys?!

Black Dude (using a hair pick) We aint found shit!

 

 

DH: Say goodbye to your two best friends, and I don't mean those fools n the winabego.

 

---------

 

Col. Sandurz: Out of order?!!

DH: Even in the future nothing works!

 

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Lonestar: (coming to) Thank you...

Midgets: Dink dink dink.

Lonestar: Did I miss something? When did we get to Disney Land?!

[Guest Mosaicv2]

how about the Lone Star/Dark Helmet saber fight... as Helmet accidently hits one of the sound technicans:

 

"Um... he did it."

 

"wat!"

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

how about the Lone Star/Dark Helmet saber fight... as Helmet accidently hits one of the sound technicans:

 

"Um... he did it."

 

"wat!"

"I hate it when I get my schwartz twisted!"

 

 

 

Col. Sandurz: It's mega-maid....shes gone from suck to blow!

[BlackFlagg 0]

dunno if I got this 100% right but ya get the point

 

Guard: "What're you doing?"

Lone Star: "Vulcan neck pinch.."

Guard: "No, no stupid. You got it all wrong, you need to go up more where the shoulder meets the neck."

Lone Star: "Like....this?"

Guard: "Yeeahhh..." <passes out>

[Guest Mosaicv2]

"WHAT THE HELL AM I LOOKIN AT?!"

 

"now sir, watever happens now... happens now"

 

"wat happen then?"

 

"we miss it"

 

"when?"

 

'just now"