Memorable film quotes

[BlackFlagg 0]

god I fucking love Casablanca... I think I'm going to watch it tomorrow after work for like the 12th time

Same here...it's on my list of must buy DVDs when I go to the store tonight/tomorrow, been meaning to get it for so long but always get sidetracked, not this time

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

Marty McFly: Wait a minute, Doc, are you trying to tell me that my mother has got the hots for me?

Dr. Emmett Brown: Precisely.

Marty McFly: Whoa, this is heavy.

Dr. Emmett Brown: There's that word again; "heavy". Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the earth's gravitational pull?

 

- Back to the Future

 

Gaff: You've done a man's job, sir. I guess you're through, huh?

Deckard: Finished.

[Gaff throws Deckard his gun]

Gaff: It's too bad she won't live! But then again, who does?

 

- Blade Runner

 

Carl Spackler: So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

 

- Caddyshack

[BlackFlagg 0]

Fun Boy: (amazed at Draven's healing hand) Jesus Christ!!

Draven: Jesus Christ...stop me if you've heard this one. Jesus Christ walks into a hotel. (gunshot one)

Draven: (unemotionally)Ow. He walks into a hotel and hands the innkeeper three nails and asks... (gunshot two)

Fun Boy: Don't you ever fuckin' die?!!

Draven: Can you put me up for the night?

[Guest El Satanico]

Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.

Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.

Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?

Peasant 1: Burn them.

Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?

Peasant 1: More witches.

Peasant 2: Wood.

Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?

Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?

Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?

Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.

Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?

Peasant 1: Oh yeah.

Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?

Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!

Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?

Peasant 1: Bread.

Peasant 2: Apples.

Peasant 3: Very small rocks.

Peasant 1: Cider.

Peasant 2: Gravy.

Peasant 3: Cherries.

Peasant 1: Mud.

Peasant 2: Churches.

Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!

King Arthur: A Duck.

Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...

Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.

Sir Bedevere: And therefore...

Peasant 2: ...A witch!

from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

 

Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!

Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.

Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!

Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!

Brian: Now, fuck off!

[silence]

Arthur: How shall we fuck off, O Lord?

from "Monty Python's Life of Brian"

 

 

Dolemite: I'm gonna let 'em know that Dolemite is back on the scene! I'm gonna let 'em know that Dolemite is my name, and fuckin' up motha fuckas is my game!!

[the max 0]

David St. Hubbins: I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem MAY have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being CRUSHED by a DWARF. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.

 

Nigel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and -

Marty: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?

Nigel: Exactly.

Marty: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?

Nigel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?

Marty: I don't know.

Nigel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?

Marty: Put it up to eleven.

Nigel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.

Marty: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?

Nigel: [Pause] These go to eleven.

 

Both from Spinal Tap.

[eiker_ir 0]

- Chakka: Damn! this movie is gonna make House Party look like House Party 2!

 

- Grip: or House Party 3!

 

- Chakka: Shut the fuck up!

 

J&SBST

 

the way he says STFU! is too funny

 

 

- Seth: I may be a bastard but i'm not a fucking bastard.

 

From Dusk Till Dawn

 

 

"I'm Batman..."

[DangerousDamon 0]

Scarface is one big ass movie quote.

 

 

 

 

Let me handle this bitch!-Freddy Kruger when he posses the stoner in Freddy vs Jason.

 

 

Welcome to my world bitch!-Freddy, again.

 

Now I"m playing with Power!

 

Freddy has a lot of memorable quotes.

[Guest Askewniverse]

"In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns."

-Fabrizio, The Godfather

 

"If anything in life is certain, if history has taught us anything, it is that you can kill anyone."

-Michael Corleone, The Godfather: Part II

 

"Just when I thought that I was out, they pull me back in."

-Michael Corleone, The Godfather: Part III

 

"How am I funny? Funny like a clown? Do I amuse you? Do I make you laugh?"

-Tommy, Goodfellas

 

"Bitches, leave!"

-Clarence Boddicker, Robocop

 

"You ain't leading but two things right now, Jack and shit. And Jack just left town."

-Ash, Army of Darkness

 

"Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun."

-Ash, Army of Darkness

 

"All 'Jedi' had was a bunch of Muppets."

-Dante Hicks, Clerks

 

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega."

-Brodie Bruce, Mallrats

 

"You fuckers think just because a guy reads comics, he can't start some shit?"

-Brodie Bruce, Mallrats

 

"Most of the time I'm just talking out of my ass...or sticking my hand in it."

-Brodie Bruce, Mallrats

 

"Bring on the free hooch!"

-Banky Edwards, Chasing Amy

 

"We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there, unless they like to fuck?"

-Jay, Dogma

 

"The Internet has given everybody in America a voice. For some reason, everybody decides to use that voice to bitch about movies."

-Holden McNeil, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

 

"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously."

-Banky Edwards, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

 

"Don't you recognize me? I'm the pie fucker!"

-Jason Biggs, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

[HarleyQuinn 0]

MR. PINK

Fuck you, White! I didn't create this situation, I'm just dealin with it. You're acting like a first-year fuckin thief. I'm actin like a professional. They get him, they can get you, they get you, they get closer to me, and that can't happen. And you, you motherfucker, are looking at me like it's my fault. I didn't tell him my name. I didn't tell him where I was from. I didn't tell him what I knew better than to tell him. Fuck, fifteen minutes ago, you almost told me your name. You, buddy, are stuck in a situation you created. So if you wanna throw bad looks somewhere, throw 'em at a mirror.

 

FREDDY (V.O.)

Every nerve ending, all of my senses, the blood in my veins, everything I has was screaming, "Take off, man, just take off, get the fuck outta there!" Panic hit me like a bucket of water. First there was the shock of it--BAM, right in the face! Then I'm just standin there drenched in panic.

 

Both quotes from Reservoir Dogs(Credit to Script-O-Rama.com for the exact quote). I dig the 2nd one more for the way it's shot but still like the lines.

[eiker_ir 0]

- Holden: I don't know about Damon...but Affleck was the bomb in Phantoms...

 

- Jay: Word Bitch! Phantoms like a motherfucker!!!

 

J&SBSB

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

- Hansel: Are you trying to get crazy with me ese?.....don't you know i'm...loco?

 

- Mugatu: That Hansel, he's so hot right now.

 

both from Zoolander

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

"Bullshit, I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!"

 

R. Lee Ermey as Gny. Sgt. Hartman in Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket (1987).

 

Oh, if that Askewniverse Quotes thread was still on The Shooters...

[LooseCannon25 0]

Edward Norton's rant from 25th Hour is awesome. He's a tremendous actor...here's mine:

 

Freddie Heflan --- "there's gotta be a way out of this for everyone....I say why don't we all go in together and......."

 

Ray Donnelan ---- "Freddy....i invited, men...cops. Good men to live in this town, and these men who make a living, cross the bridge every day to a place where everything is upside down....where the cop is the perp, and the perp is the victim. The only thing they did, was to get their families out....before it got to them. We made a place where things make sense, where you can walk across the street without fear. And you come to me with a plan to set things right. Everyone in the city holding hands, singing we are the world. Thats Very nice....but Freddy your plan is the plan of a boy. You MADE IT ON A BACK OF A MATCHBOOK, WITHOUT THINKING.......WITHOUT LOOKING AT THE CARDS! I look at the cards...I see this town....destroyed. Now that's not what you want is it.

 

Freddie ---- "I look at this town, and i dont like what I see anymore

 

Ray ---- "Who the fuck do you think you are"

 

 

----Harvey Keitel from Copland-----

[Ced 0]

"I believe in two things: discipline and the Bible. Here you'll receive both. Put your trust in the Lord; your ass belongs to me. Welcome to Shawshank." - Warden Norton, The Shawshank Redemption

 

Also from The Shawshank Redemption:

Boggs: Now, I'm gonna open my fly and you're gonna swallow what I give ya to swallow. And when you swallow mine you're gonna swallow Rooster's cause ya done broke his nose and I think he oughta have something to show for it.

Andy Dufresne: Anything you put in my mouth you're gonna lose.

Boggs: Naw, you don't understand. You do that and I'll put all eight inches of steel in your ear.

Andy Dufresne: All right. But you should know that sudden serious brain injury causes the victim to bite down hard. In fact, I hear the bite reflex is so strong they have to pry the victims jaws open with a crowbar.

Boggs: Where do you get this shit?

Andy Dufresne: I read it. You know how to read, you ignorant fuck?

"You took the box? Let's see what's in the box! (Hiro lifts the box to reveal nothing)Nothing! Absolutely nothing! STUPID! You're so STU-PIIIIIIIIIIID!" - Kuni, UHF

[eiker_ir 0]

my favorite Army of Darkness quote:

 

"Alright you primitive screw-heads, listen up. See this? This...is my BOOMstick! It's a 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan; retails for about one hundred nine, ninety-five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart, shop S-Mart!

 

you got that~?!?!"

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

"Holy shit, Silent Bob, it's that TV newschick Connie fuckin' Chung! Hey Connie, how's Maury? [Gale gives them the finger] Dude, I think she likes me. Did you see how she was looking at me?"

 

Jason Mewes as Jay "Phat" Buds in Wes Craven's Scream 3 (2000).

[Guest El Satanico]

Air Force Captain: Visits? That would indicate visitors.

 

Criswell: Greetings, my friends. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my friends, future events such as these will affect you in the future.

 

Paula Trent: I've never seen you in this mood before.

Jeff Trent: I guess that's because I've never been in this mood before.

 

Colonel Tom Edwards: Why, a particle of sunlight can't even be seen or measured.

Eros: Can you see or measure an atom? Yet you can explode one. A ray of sunlight is made up of many atoms.

Jeff Trent: So what if we do develop this Solaranite bomb? We'd be even a stronger nation than now.

Eros: "Stronger." You see? You see? Your stupid minds. Stupid. Stupid.

 

Criswell: Perhaps, on your way home, someone will pass you in the dark, and you will never know it... for they will be from outer space.

 

Jeff Trent: You promise you'll lock the doors immediately?

Paula Trent: I promise. Besides, I'll be in bed before a half hour's gone... with your pillow beside me.

Jeff Trent: My pillow?

Paula Trent: Well, I have to have something to keep me company while you're away. Sometimes in the night, when it does get a little lonely, I reach over and touch it. Then it doesn't seem so lonely anymore.

 

 

Plan 9 from Outer Space

[MrRant 0]

I hate you all for not putting in any Mel Brooks... so I shall fill the void:

 

Space Balls

 

[King Roland has given in to Dark Helmet's threats, and is telling him the combination to the "air shield"]

Roland: One.

Dark Helmet: One.

Colonel Sandurz: One.

Roland: Two.

Dark Helmet: Two.

Colonel Sandurz: Two.

Roland: Three.

Dark Helmet: Three.

Colonel Sandurz: Three.

Roland: Four.

Dark Helmet: Four.

Colonel Sandurz: Four.

Roland: Five.

Dark Helmet: Five.

Colonel Sandurz: Five.

Dark Helmet: So the combination is one, two, three, four, five? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! The kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!

 

Dark Helmet: Careful you idiot! I said by her nose, not up it!

Laser Gunner: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!

Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?

Major: I did sir. He's my cousin.

Dark Helmet: Who is he?

Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole sir.

Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?

Colonel Sandurz: That is his name sir. Asshole, Major Asshole!

Dark Helmet: And his cousin?

Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip Asshole!

 

Colonel Sandurz: Prepare ship for light speed.

Dark Helmet: No, no, no, light speed is too slow.

Colonel Sandurz: Light speed, too slow?

Dark Helmet: Yes, we're gonna have to go right to ludicrous speed.

 

Blazing Saddles

 

Taggart: I got it. I got it.

Hedley Lamarr: You do?

Taggart: We'll work up a "Number 6" on 'em.

Hedley Lamarr: "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one...

Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a whampin' and whompin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.

Hedley Lamarr: You spare the women?

Taggart: NAW. We rape the shit out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on.

Hedley Lamarr: Marvelous.

 

Taggart: What do you want me to do sir?

Hedley Lamarr: I want you to round up ever vicious criminal and gun slinger in the west. Take this down.

[Taggart looks for a pen and paper while Hedley talks]

Hedley Lamarr: I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.

Taggart: [finding pen and paper] Could you repeat that, sir?

 

[When Taggart learns Bart is the new sheriff of Rock Ridge]

Taggart: Now if that don't beat all. Here we take the good time and trouble to slaughter every last Indian in the West, and for what? So we can appoint a sheriff that's blacker than any Indian. I AM depressed.

Lyle: Excuse me, Mr. Taggart, sir, but I sure do hate to see you like this. What if me and the boys was to shoot that nigger dead? Would that pep you up some?

Taggart: That might help . . .

 

Taggart: I got it.

Hedley Lamarr: What?

Taggart: Let's kill every first born male child in Rock Ridge.

Hedley Lamarr: Nah, too Jewish.

 

That's all for now... I will let you digest the greatness.

[The Metal Maniac 0]

Best line from Spaceballs:

 

"STOP THIS THING!"

"WE CAN'T STOP! IT'S TOO DANGEROUS!"

 

Yeah, I know it goes on from there, but it's funnier just like that.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

Donnie Darko

 

28 Days...

 

6 Hours...

 

42 Minutes...

 

12 Seconds...

 

...that is when the world will end.

 

-----------

 

Cunningham: Good Morning, Middlesex!

(Crowd kinda groans)

Cunningham: Is that all the guster you can muster? I SAID Good Morning!

 

(i like that more for the actions than the quote)

 

------------

 

Mr. Darko: You're bitchin, but you're not a bitch.

 

------------

 

Donnie: Why don't you ever take off that silly rabbit suit?

Frank: Why don't you ever take off that silly man suit?

 

------------

 

I didn't even include the Smurf Rant or the Donnie Rants both toward Kittie Farmer and Jim Cunningham...or the fight at the dinner table at the beginning.

[Guest El Satanico]

You want some Mel Brooks? WELL! Here's some Mel Brooks

 

 

Inga: Werewolf

Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Werewolf?

Igor: There.

Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: There?

Igor: There wolf; there castle.

 

Igor: Dr. Frankenstein...

Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: "Fronkensteen."

Igor: You're putting me on.

Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen."

Igor: Do you also say "Froaderick"?

Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: No... "Frederick."

Igor: Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"?

Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronkensteen."

Igor: I see.

Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: You must be Igor.

[He pronounces it ee-gor.]

Igor: No, it's pronounced "eye-gor."

Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: But they told me it was "ee-gor."

Igor: Well, they were wrong, weren't they?

 

Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Igor, would you mind telling me whose brain I did put in?

Igor: And you won't be angry?

Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry.

Igor: Abby someone.

Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Abby someone. Abby who?

Igor: Abby Normal.

Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Abby Normal?

Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name.

Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Do you mean to tell me that I put an abnormal brain into an, 8 foot tall, 300 pound, GORILLA?

 

Young Frankenstein

 

 

Leo Bloom: Let's assume, just for the moment, that you are a dishonest man.

Max Bialystock: Assume away.

 

Max Bialystock: What's the matter with you?

Leo Bloom: I'm hysterical! I'm having hysterics! I'm hysterical! I can't stop when I get like this. I can't stop. I'm hysterical. Oh my god. Ah-la-la-la.

[bialystock throws a glass of water in Leo's face]

Leo Bloom: [stunned] ... I'm wet! I'm wet! I'm hysterical and I'm wet!

[bialystock slaps Leo]

Leo Bloom: ...I'm in pain! I'm in pain, and I'm wet!... and I'm still hysterical!

[Max raises his hand to slap Leo again]

Leo Bloom: No, no, no don't hit, don't hit. It doesn't help. It only increases my sense of danger.

Max Bialystock: What can I do? What can I do? You're getting me hysterical.

Leo Bloom: Go away. Go away. You frighten me.

 

Max Bialystock: How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?

 

The Producers

 

 

Oedipus: [walking around collecting donations] Give to Oedipus! Give to Oedipus! Hey Josephus!

Josephus: Hey, motherfucker!

 

Roman Senator: All fellow members of the Roman senate hear me. Shall we continue to build palace after palace for the rich? Or shall we aspire to a more noble purpose and build decent housing for the poor? How does the senate vote?

Entire Senate: FUCK THE POOR!

 

Apostle: Please go away!

Comicus: All right all right! Jesus!

Jesus: Yes?

 

History of the World: Part I

 

 

Robin Hood: This is Ahchoo.

Blinkin: A Jew? Here?

Robin Hood: No no, not a Jew. Ahchoo.

 

Robin Hood: This is Ahchoo.

Little John: Bless you!

Achoo: That's my name, man!

 

Robin Hood: Men in Tights

[Henry Spencer 0]

"Aren't you going to buckle up?"

"Buckle this!"

[NoCalMike 0]

Ok mine are stupid because I am probably the only person who remembers these besides my good friend Shawn. We remember the most obscure movie lines......

 

"I loooooooooove Garlic" -Head Vampire from Lost Boys

 

"This school sucks man, SUCKS" Daniel Larruso Karate Kid

 

"Holy Toledo, looks like somebody had fun" -Simon Gruber Die Hard with a Vengeance.

 

"Is that guy dead?" -truck driver in the water tunnel DieHard WAV.

 

"I recommend the sirloin, veeeery tender"(Actual his whole pitch to get Sue Ellen(Christina Applegate in bed) - Gus from Don't tell Mom, the babysitters dead.

 

more to come.......

[BlackFlagg 0]

"They look like psycho's? Is That what they look like? They are vampires, Psychos don't explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a Fuck how crazy they are!"

 

From Dusk till Dawn

 

"I think I just filled the cup!"

 

J&SBSB

 

and now for some Breakfast Club quotes

 

Vernon: Questions?

Bender: Yeah, I've got a question. Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

Vernon: I'll give you the answer to that question, Mr.Bender, next Saturday. Dont mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns.

Bender: That man is a brownie-hound.

 

Claire: You know why guys like you knock everything?

Bender: Oh, this should be stunning.

Claire: 'Cause you're afraid.

Bender: Oh God, you richies are so smart, thats exactly why I'm not heavy in activities.

Claire: You're a big coward.

Brian: I'm in the math club.

Claire: You're afraid that they won't take you. You don't belong so you just have to dump all over it.

Bender: Well, it wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being assholes now would it?

Claire: You wouldn't know. You don't know any of us.

Bender: Well, I don't know any lepers either but I'm not gonna run out and join one of their fuckin' clubs.

Andrew: Lets watch the mouth, huh?

Brian: I'm in the physics club.

Bender: Excuse me a sec. What are you babbling about?

Brian: Well, what I said was that I'm in the math club, the latin club and the physics club.

Bender: Hey, cherry, do you belong to the physics club?

Claire: Thats an academic club.

Bender: So?

Claire: So, academic clubs arent the same as other kinds of clubs.

Bender: But the dorks like him, they are. What do you guys do in your club?

Brian: In physics, well, we talk about physics... properties of physics.

Bender: So its sort of social. Demented and sad, but social, right?

 

Bender: I have such a deep admiration for guys who role around on the floor with other guys.

Andrew: You'd never miss it. You don't have any goals.

Bender: Oh, but I do. I want to be just like you. I figure all I need is a lobotomy and some tights.

Brian: You wear tights?

Andrew: No, I do not wear tights. I wear the required uniform.

Brian: Tights.

Andrew: Shut up!

[Guest Dynamite Kido]

"When there's no more room in hell, the dead walk the earth"

 

Ken Foree "Dawn of the Dead" 1979

 

BEST LINE EVER.

[Ted the Poster 0]

Happy GIlmore

Shooter McGavin: Stay out of my way, you'll pay, listen to what I say.

Happy: How bout I just go eat some hay? I can make things out of clay or lay by the bay; I just may. What do you say?

 

Major League 1 & 2

1. "You tring to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curve ball?"

2. "I ain't ever had a serious girlfriend like you or nothing, but this one time, I got kicked in the balls by a mule. I was in so much pain. But you know what happened the very next week? My momma died. Hell, after that, I didn't care no more about my balls hurtin'. You see what I'm getting at?"

3. "That looked like the Terminator, only slower. Maybe it was his out-of-stater, or it could have been the Hibernator--that baby is definitely going away for the winter. Whatever for Vaughn, it might be see-ya-later. He's probably gonna become a spectator."

 

Best in Show.

1. "Excuse me if this off the subject a little bit, but just take a guess at how much I can bench press. Come on, what do you think? Take a guess. 315 pounds, maxing out at 400!"

2. "I went to one of those obedience places once... it was all going well until they spilled hot candle wax on my private parts."

 

 

Uecker and Willard > You

[Guest thebigjig]

"flaunt it baby! flaunt it!!" - Bialystock, the producers

 

How could ANYONE forget classic Naked Gun movie quotes?

 

 

"It's true what they say: Cops and women don't mix. It's like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside." - Frank Drebin

 

"It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day." - Frank Drebin

 

Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in front of a full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards, that's my policy.

 

Mayor: That was a Shakesphere In The Park Production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!

 

Frank: A good cop - needlessly cut down by some cowardly hoodlums.

 

Ed: No way for a man to die.

 

Frank: You're right, Ed. A parachute not opening - that's the way to die, getting caught in a combine, having your nuts bit off by a Laplander. That's the way I want to go.

[Guest thebigjig]

god I fucking love Casablanca... I think I'm going to watch it tomorrow after work for like the 12th time

My respect for you multiplied by 12.

ditto!!

 

lets make out

[Guest thebigjig]

oh yeah, almost forgot this one

 

Frank (singing national anthem): oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light, what so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming. who's bright strips and broad stars, in the parelious night, o'er the rampart's we watched, as the da da, da, da, da, da, and the rocket's red glare, lots of bombs in the air, gave proof to the night, that we still had a flag, oh say does that spangle banner wave, over all-l-l-l-l that's free, over the home, of the land, and the land of the free!

[Guest thebigjig]

Family Guy, episode 15, I am Peter Hear me Roar

 

mellow music playing on tv

 

two women in bikinis sitting next to a pool applying lotion to the others backs

 

woman 1: Boy that lotion sure feels good!

 

woman 2: Sure is hot!

 

woman 2 removes her top

 

woman 1: And it just got hotter! Here, now let me do you!

 

camera pans to bottle of Pawtucket Patriot Beer

 

ANNOUNCER: Pawtucket Patriot Beer! If you buy it, hot women will have sex in your back yard!

[eiker_ir 0]

Hot Shots! Part Deux

 

(As they shake hands)

Topper: President Benson.

President: No you're not. I've seen him on TV. An older man, about my height.

 

(As they jump out of an airplane one by one)

Harbinger: Geronimo!

Rabinowitz: Geronimo!

Geronimo: Me!

 

(Dexter is being rescued)

Dexter: You don't understand. I can't walk... they've tied my shoelaces together.

Topper: A knot...Bastards!

 

Topper: These men have a supreme vow of celibacy, like their fathers, and their fathers before them...

 

yeah i just watched it