You know you live in Oklahoma if:

[Damaramu 0]

Alright I got this list in my email today and I figured I'd post it. It's one of those "you know you live here if....." lists and this one is for Oklahoma. I'll go through it and see if I know any of these. And you guys tell me if any apply to you or your state.

 

You know you're from Oklahoma if:

 

1. You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, Okemah, and Chickasha

 

-Yes I can.

 

2. You think that people who complain about the wind in their states are sissies.

 

-Damn straight.

 

3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

 

-Well not me personally but my dad went and stood in front of the front window until he saw the funnel last time we had one. I am desensitived to tornado's though since I've been hit by like 4 in my lifetime.

 

4. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

 

-Not on the highway but I have experienced it on a back road. And I've experienced it on a backroad in Texas as well.

 

5. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

 

-Hell yes. God damn Oklahoma weather.

 

6. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availablity of shade.

 

-Yes...I always try to find shade.

 

7. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

 

-Well they have bags but we call them sacks.

 

8. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

 

-Never in my life.

 

9. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

 

-Well living next to Oklahoma City I don't really meet many people around here from a bigger city. But everywhere else I've been in the country....you people do! I surpisingly have no accent.......weird.

 

10. You measure distance in minutes.

 

-True. "How many minutes away is that?"

 

11. You refer to the capital of Oklahoma as "The City"

 

-True

 

12. It doesn't bother you to use an airport named for a man who died in an airplane crash.

 

-Will Rogers? Nah......

 

13. Little Smokies are something you only serve on special occasions.

 

-I'm embarassed about this one but.......yes. If you count Wrestlemania and the Super Bowl as special occasions.

 

15. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

 

-Yes.....the weather here is unpredictable sez I!

 

16. You know cowpies are not made of beef.

 

-Who doesn't?

 

17. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

 

-Yes I know a girl that couldn't get married b/c it was OU/Texas weekend.

 

18. You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist.

 

-Well not personally. But this practice is more rampant in Texas.

 

19. A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a 4-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first.

 

-Yes. Stupid old ladies....

 

20. You know in which state Miam-uh is and in which state Miam-ee is.

 

-Yup. We have a Miam-uh spelled Miami.

 

21. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.

 

-by all the major lakes here.....yes.

 

22. Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.

 

-well i don't have a place at the lake....but yes I have known people like this...specifically my grandparents.

 

23. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F350 4x4 is.

 

-Bullshit! I see the Ford's everywhere. Now a Mercedes.....

 

24. You know everything goes better with Ranch.

 

-Ranch is good on various meats.

 

25. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.

 

-I can't shoot a gun. This should apply to Texas more than Oklahoma(or as I call it....Texas Jr.)

 

26. You actually get these jokes and tell them to your friends!

 

-Sadly.....yes....I am doing just that now.

 

 

Finally you are 100% Oklahoman if you have ever heard this conversation:

 

"You want a coke?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"What kind?"

 

"Dr. Pepper."

 

Yes I've done that to.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

For once I thank God I live in Canada

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Indiana and Oklahoma really are a lot alike.

 

The only differences are a few colloquial expressions, and the lack of a state for us to latch on like a remorah.

[Damaramu 0]

A lot of this list I think pretty much goes on anywhere in the US.

[Slayer 0]

Quite a few of these apply to Kansas (Oklahoma's great northern brother), although there are others that are so general they could apply anywhere

 

1. You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, Okemah, and Chickasha

Since I don't know how they're properly pronounced, how do I know if I'm properly pronouncing them.

 

2. You think that people who complain about the wind in their states are sissies.

Yes

 

3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

Damn right it is. I saw a funnel form right over my head that way.

 

4. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

I've been in your plain ol' traffic jams.... and then I've been in these.

 

5. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

That's Kansas for you

 

6. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availablity of shade.

This could be applied to any state in the summertime (some even in winter)

 

7. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

Yup

 

8. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

Thankfully no, though I have an idea of the people who do this

 

9. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

They tend to think I do, so fuck 'em

 

10. You measure distance in minutes.

Surely this can't only be a Midwest thing. I do do this though.

 

11. You refer to the capital of Oklahoma as "The City"

Not in this state, buddy. We have our own city named after the state.

 

12. It doesn't bother you to use an airport named for a man who died in an airplane crash.

That one is pretty funny

 

15. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

I'd think this could be applied most anywhere.

 

16. You know cowpies are not made of beef.

....oh, shit

 

17. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

That'll be me someday (which is okay, cause the g/f is also a football lover). Of course, I could just get married in the seven football-free months...

 

18. You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist.

Oh yeah

 

23. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F350 4x4 is.

Sure are a lot of people of "status" around here then

 

24. You know everything goes better with Ranch.

Oh hell yes. My friends (native or not) think I'm nuts when I put ranch on things like chicken or burritos, but dammit it's good.

 

25. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.

If you're real good, you can do both at the same time.

 

26. You actually get these jokes and tell them to your friends!

Friends?

[Guest Retro Rob]

Here is a list of Long Islander stuff, if anyone gives a shit.

 

98 Signs that You Are a Long Islander

[Slayer 0]

For once I thank God I live in Canada

A great number of Albertans and Saskatchewanians descended from Kansans and Oklahomans who fled north during the dust bowl and apparently thought central Canada was a great place to settle down

 

Don't deny our brotherhood, not-Banky

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

For once I thank God I live in Canada

A great number of Albertans and Saskatchewanians descended from Kansans and Oklahomans who fled north during the dust bowl and apparently thought central Canada was a great place to settle down

 

Don't deny our brotherhood, not-Banky

Call me Chevy....who hails from Switzerland.

[Slayer 0]

Sure thing not-Banky

[Guest Goodear]

You know you are from Pennsylvania when:

 

You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk when you hear the word "snow."

 

You say the correct pronunciation LANG-kist-er instead of the mispronounced Lan-CAST-er, and LEB-en-in instead of the equally incorrect Leb-a-NON.

 

You know the only way to make good fastnachts is to cook them in LARD.

 

You live within two miles of a plant that makes potato chips, corn chips,pretzels, candy, or ice cream, or that packages turkeys, beans, or bologna.

 

You can stop along the road to buy fruits, vegetables, or crafts on the "honor system."

 

You know what REAL pot pie is.

 

YOUR turkey has "filling," not "stuffing," and most certainly, NOT "dressing."

 

You know that chicken corn soup from a fire house is the most nearly perfect food on earth.

 

You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling off today," and "They're calling for snow."

 

You've heard of distelfinks and hex signs.

 

You only buy your beer and soda by the case.

 

You think the roads in any other state are smooth.

 

You know the Penn State cheer, and although you've never attended PennState, you are a most obnoxious Penn State fan. (WE ARE...ANNOYING!)

 

Hearing horses clopping down a paved street doesn't bring you to the window to see what's going on outside.

 

You never see any Confederate Flags, except on the Gettysburg Battlefield.

 

You prefer Hershey's Chocolate to Godiva.

 

You consider Pittsburgh to be "out west," and you know the fastest way to Philly is the Turnpike.

 

School closings due to snow take the radio stations a half an hour to finish, because just about every town has its own school district.

 

When someone says 1972, you think "Agnes," and when someone says 1979, you think "TMI."

 

You call sloppy joes "barbecue."

 

When it snows, they put cinders on the roads instead of sand.

 

You can give directions to Intercourse with a straight face.

 

Know that Yuengling is pronounced "Ying-ling," and believe that it really is a premium beer (which comes from growing up on Schlitz and Iron City).

 

Have the Rolling Rock bottle memorized: "From the glass lined tanks of Old Latrobe, we tender this premium beer for your enjoyment. . . . "

 

Know that Wilkes-Barre is pronounced "Wilks Berry."

 

Can pronounce "Knoebels."

 

Can pronounce (or spell) "Schuylkill."

 

Live for summer, when street fairs signal the beginning of funnel cake season.

Have a day off school on the Monday after Thanksgiving, which is the first day of hunting season.

 

Never have to worry about being stuck in a ditch when it's snowing. -someone in a 4WD pickup with tow chains will be along shortly.

 

Elect pro-life Democrats and pro-choice Republicans for Governor (i.e., Casey and Ridge)

 

Frequently go "with," e.g., "You going to the market? Mind if I come with?"

 

Refer to something as "a whole nother," e.g., "That's a whole nother issue."

 

LANG-kist-er regional specialties:

You've been "yoney-bopping."

You know where Schoeneck, Salunga, Ronks, and Bird-in-Hand are.

You have "dinner" for lunch.

You've eaten "Shoo-fly pie or Whoopie pie" at the Green Dragon.

Manure smells sweet.

You REALLY HATE antiquers. On Sunday mornings you would scream "Go back to Jersey!" at least once on the way to church.

When you were a kid and somebody really pissed you off, you said, "I'm gonna deck you!"

You know the expression, "Hey naw! Watchya dewin'?"

THE groundhog is Octoraro Orphie, NOT Punxsutawney Phil.

You know what Lebanon bologna and Scrapple are made from but you STILL love it.

You know where to buy "Opera Fudge" and that it has absolutely no connection to the Opera.

You say the correct pronunciation LANG-kist-er instead of the mispronounced Lan-CAST-er, and LEP-nin instead of the equally-incorrect Leb-a-NON.

You know the only way to make good fastnachts is to cook them in PIG LARD.

You ask the waitress for "dippy ecks" for breakfast.

You do things "wunst," as in "I'll go check in the back room wunst."

Your neighbors' names are King, Driebelbis, Stoltzfus, Lapp, Mummau, Yoder, Lebo, Peachy, Risser, Musser or anything ending in "-baugh or -ouch, or -er.

You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling off today, "and THEY want snow wunst."

Red Beet Ecks makes your list of top ten favorite foods.

You pronounce "Suite" as SUIT, not SWEET.

You say you're going out to the shed "AWHILE," instead of "FOR AWHILE."

When you buy your beer you worry that the neighbors saw you, so you sneak it into your house for fear of reprisals from the Mennonite Mafia

The only Jewish people that you've ever met have been from New York or New Jersey.

You know what Wilbur Buds are.

You think Medium Rare equals Well Done, Dry as a bone and Tasteless.

You love the Phillies (unless they stink) in which case you love the Orioles (unless they stink) in which case you solemnly swear that you've never even liked the Phillies or the Orioles, but have always been a Penn State fan. (That Cho Paterno is O.K. if he chust wasn't so Eyetalian, wunst)

You actually think "WGAL" and the "Lancaster New Era" are acceptable forms of informational media.

You shy away from any new restaurant because the food might be "Too Spicy".

If when something gets all fouled up you say that it's "Ferhoontzed"

If your favorite foods include Hawg Maw, Shnitz und Knepp, Rivells, Puddin's, Cracklin's or Buttered Noodles.

When the scope of your ability to create a nickname for someone is limited to putting a "Y" at the end of their last name. (Here comes Schmitty and Blacky wunst)

When you refer to people from Italy as "Eye-talians".

If you've ever used the phrase "You's are comin' with then, ain't?" and meant "Will you be accompanying me?"

If you refer to putrid animal manure smells as "Guud Country Air"

If you think that the sun rises just east of Ephrata, and sets just west of the Susquehanna.

If you think that if you have to leave Langkister County to get it, it's not really worth having.

 

You're near Pittsburgh when:

The plural of "you" is "youns."

Most sentences end with "an'at" (abbreviated from "and that") -- I'm still not sure of the derivation, but it's the local version of "and stuff" or "and so on."

You HOOVER, you don't vaccuum.

You get sodie-pops.

You only own three spices: salt, pepper, ketchup.

You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.

You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.

You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.

Your snowblower gets stuck on your roof.

The local paper covers National and International headlines on 1/4 page but requires six pages for sports.

You think the start of deer hunting is a National Holiday.

You head south to go to your cottage.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

You find -20F "a little" chilly.

The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.

You know the four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.

The municipality buys a Zamboni before a school bus.

You don't understand how anyone could watch a football game without ethier halupki, halushki, or kielbosa.

You remember fondly days of youth known as "Snow Days".

You don't understand why all sports commentators don't sound more like Cope.

Words like: gumband; buggy; hoagie; chipped ham; and pop actually mean something to you.

You can use the phrase "Firehall Wedding" and not even bat an eye.

You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Penna friends.

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

1. You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, Okemah, and Chickasha

I'm pretty sure of these two: Eufaula (Oh-fo-la) and Chickasha (Chick-a-shay)

 

I only knew Chickasha since I knew someone from there. I'm from Texas though.

[The Kid 0]

You might be Canadian If.....

 

http://indefual.snowbank.ca/canada/jokes/mb-cnd.html

 

Great list, too long to copy and paste sadly.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

I live in Western Maryland...and these are for my home county:

 

You MUST be from Allegany County if:

 

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is the entrance to Walmart.

~ meh.

 

2. "Vacation" means going to Hershey or Deep Creek Lake for the weekend.

~ not me, but others.

 

3. You measure distance in hours.

~ yep.

 

4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.

~ yep.

 

5. You often switch from heat to "A/C" in the same day.

~ Ooooooklahoma. But yeah, i've done it.

 

6. You use a down comforter in the summer.

~ not me.

 

7. Your grandparents drive at 65 mph thru 13 ft. of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.

~ not mine, but others.

 

8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.

~ yep.

 

9. You install security lights on your house & garage & leave both unlocked.

~ we don't, i know people that do though

 

10. You carry jumper cables in your car & your wife knows how to use them.

~ i'm not married, but everybody knows how to use fucking jumper cables

 

11. You think of major food groups as deer meat, fish & McDonalds.

~ yuck...i hate deer and fish.

 

12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Sheetz.

~ seen it.

 

13. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

~ it does snow on Halloween every few years.

 

14. Driving is better in the winter because potholes are filled with snow.

~ hell yeah

 

15. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks & flannel pajamas.

~ i'm not THAT bad.

 

16. You know four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and 4th of July.

~ basically.

 

17. It takes you 3 hrs to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop & talk to everyone in town.

~ this is my mother.

 

18. You have been to every bar in town at some time or the other

~ before I was 18 too.

 

19. You have dined at every restaurant in town at least a dozen times.

~ nah...we're moving up in the world!

 

20. You call the grocery store a market and the shopping cart a buggy.

~ i do NOT call it a fucking buggy. "market"...sure.

 

21. You think there is a "t" on the end of once and twice.

~ nope.

 

22. You know what seasoned lettuce is on a hoagie or steak sub.

~ i know what it is period. fuck hoagies.

 

23. You either work for the rail road or make near minimum wage.

~ i'll talk near minimum wage to block.

 

24. You think homecoming is a holiday and actually decorate your house for it.

~ not me, but others.

 

25. You know what a boss of soda is.

~ no idea.

 

26. You really think of My Place as a night club.

~ this place is just a crappy bar.

 

27. You have crossed 3 state lines while driving in a matter of 15 minutes.

~ hell yeah... well... two state lines and three states. though i'm sure if I started in VA, I could go through WV and MD and hit PA in a matter of 45 minutes to an hour.

 

28. You think Sheetz and Ames end with "iz."

~ hell no. ...but Sheetz fucking RULES. It's like a Wa-was, only about a million times better. I'm sure both those names will go over most heads, but southerns should know it. Sheetz only goes into southern VA.

[Guest stardust]

Almost all of the ones for Oklahoma fit Texas, too. Kinda along the same lines, though, this is a list of "things Texans know."

 

Things All Texans Know...

 

Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

 

Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep."

 

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas. There are

10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a couple no one's seen before.

 

Possums will eat anything. Armadillos love to dig holes under tomato

plants.

 

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

 

Nothing will kill a mesquite tree!

 

Texas has 5 seasons:

Spring, Feb 16 to April 15

Summer, April 16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)

Super Summer, July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees)

Summer, Sept. 11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)

Fall, Oct 2 to Dec. 1

Winter Dec. 2 to Feb 15>

 

"Onced" and "Twiced" are words.

 

Fireants consider your flesh as a picnic.

 

"Coldbeer" is one word.

 

People actually grow and eat okra...

 

When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees will survive.

 

When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. People drop

them off at your gate in the middle of the night.

 

The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first

couple of weeks.

 

When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to

the doctor.

 

"Fixinto" is one word, as is "goan" - go on, or "comon" - come on.

 

The word dinner is confusing. There's only lunch and then there's supper.

 

"Backards and forards" means I know everything about you.

 

"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

 

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.

 

You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

 

You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

 

Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.

 

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,

grain, insect or animal.

 

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both

unlocked.

 

You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.

 

You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.

 

You know whether another Texan is from east, west, north, or south Texas

as soon as they open their mouth.

 

There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.

 

Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time.

 

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili

weather.

 

A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop .. it's a "Coke",

regardless of brand or flavor.

 

You understand these jokes.

[Cran Da Maniac 0]

You Know You're From North Carolina If .....

 

 

* You know Pepsi originated in New Bern, Cheerwine in Salisbury, and that Mountain Dew was invented in Lumberton.

 

* You know Coke tastes better in the little bottles and that peanuts make Coke taste even better.

 

* You have an opinion about UNC. You went there and loved it, or you hate everyone who did.

 

* Your folks have taken trips to the mountains to look at leaves.

 

* Your school took a field trip to the State Fair in Raleigh.

 

* You would elect Richard Petty or Ric Flair for governor if either ever ran.

 

* You watched as Dale Earnhardt was the only man who ever lived who could go 200 mph, spin somebody out, call them a you-know-what, and win the race, all in the last lap.

 

* You skipped school or work to go to Dale Earnhardt’s memorial service.

 

* A tobaggon, to you, means a knit cap, not a sled.

 

* You sold Krispy Kreme doughnuts for a school or church fundraiser before those glazed doughnuts went global.

 

* When you're traveling out of state, people ask if you're from Mayberry.

 

* You remember watching the ACC Tournament on television at school.

 

* The local newspaper covers state, national and international news in one page, but sports requires six pages.

 

* Most men in town consider the first day of deer season a national holiday.

 

* Fifty degrees Fahrenheit is “a little chilly.”

 

* One hundred degrees Fahrenheit is "a little warm."

 

* You have no problem spelling or pronouncing “Conetoe” or “Topsail.”

 

* Your school classes were canceled because of cold.

 

* Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

 

* Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waitin’ to pass a tractor on the highway.

 

* Your school classes were canceled because of a hurricane.

 

* Your school classes were canceled because of hunting season.

 

* Your school classes were canceled because of a livestock show.

 

* You’ve ridden the school bus for an hour...each way.

 

* You know more about ACC basketball than professional basketball.

 

* You know the Carolina League is the greatest baseball league in the country.

 

* You think South Carolina was dead weight well shed.

 

* You know tea is always served sweet unless you specifically ask for unsweetened.

 

* You’ve ever had to switch from “Heat” to “A/C” in the same day.

 

* You think ethanol makes your truck run a lot better.

 

* Grocery stores don’t have bags, they have sacks and are called Piggly Wigglys.

 

* You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals.

 

* You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

 

* Most of the festivals around the state are named after a fruit, vegetable or tobacco.

 

* Priming was your first job...and you know what it means.

 

* Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and comes with cole slaw on top.

 

* You say catty-wampus, yunto, ill-ass and ah-ite.

 

* You know the difference between a deer dog, a bear dog and a coon dog by the way they bark.

 

* You put security lights on your house and your garage and leave both of them unlocked.

 

* Your four seasons are almost summer, summer, still summer, and highway construction.

 

* You can tell if another North Carolinian is from Eastern or Western North Carolina as soon as he opens his mouth.

 

* You can spell words such as Ocracoke, Fuquay-Varina and Chocowinity.

 

* When asked how your trip to any foreign, exotic place was you say, “It was different.”

 

* Hyde County is considered a foreign or exotic place.

 

* In the Piedmont, you see all the grown-ups go out and play in the snow.

 

* Schools and churches hold barbecue fundraisers with banana puddin’ as the dessert.

 

* Your folks would rather eat at Bojangles’s than McDonald’s.

 

* You have actually uttered the phrase, “It’s too hot to go to the pool.”

 

* You consider being a “Pork Queen” an honor.

 

* You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.

 

* You faithfully drink Pepsi or Mt. Dew every day of your life.

 

* You know what “cow tipping” is.

 

* You have your own secret BBQ sauce.

 

* You or your neighbors have more hunting dogs than you have family members.

 

* You know what a pig pickin’ is.

 

* You know what a 'tar heel' is.

 

* You show this to some NC friends ‘cuz ya know it’s true, darlin.’.

[Damaramu 0]

1. You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, Okemah, and Chickasha

I'm pretty sure of these two: Eufaula (Oh-fo-la) and Chickasha (Chick-a-shay)

 

I only knew Chickasha since I knew someone from there. I'm from Texas though.

It's actually

"U-fall-ah."

[HarleyQuinn 0]

You are from Massachusetts if...

 

 

1) The person driving in front of you is going 70 mph

and you are cursing him for going too slow.

2) The fact that Route 128 and I-95 are pretty much the same thing doesn't confuse you.

3) When ordering a tonic, you mean a coke ... not water with bubbles.

4) You can navigate a rotary without a problem.

5) You almost feel insulted when someone doesn't flip you off when you cut them off, or steal their parking space, etc.

6) You know how to pronounce towns like Worcester, Wareham, Haverhill, Barre and Cotuit.

7) You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday in order to get beer.

8) You know that there are two Bulger brothers (both are crooks but, you know there are two).

9) You have been to Fenway Park.

10) You knew that there was no chance in Hell that the Patriots would move to Hartford.

11) You laugh at all of the other states in New England.

12) You know of at least 1 diner or food vendor to get something to eat after last call.

13) You can actually find your way around Boston.

14) You have gone to at least one party at UMass.

15) The curse of the Bambino is taught in public schools.

16) You refer to the New York Yankees as the Devil's Bitches or something worse.

17) Colleges are used as landmarks for directions (i.e., Go past MIT until you hit Harvard. Take a right and go past Lesley. Keep going until you get to Tufts (actual directions).

18) Doug Flutie is the greatest athlete ever.

19) Evacuation Day is a recognized holiday.

20) You know at least 1 guy either Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus.

21) You think the rest of the country owes you for having things like Thanksgiving and independence.

22) As a kid you laughed at the kids down south who never got to have snow days.

23) You feel that the rest of the world needs to drive more like you.

24) The Beanpot is a hockey tournament not a serving container.

25) You take great pride in Cheers.

26) You can recognize a Revere girl simply by looking at her hair.

27) You know exactly where you were when the ball rolled through Buckner's legs.

28) You know that there is a bigger difference between Roxbury and West Roxbury than just a direction.

29) Somebody calls you a Masshole and you take it as a compliment.

30.) When the words "WICKED" and "GOOD" go together.

31.) When you actually pray to god for the Red Sox to win the world series not for this season, but someday in your lifetime.

33.) When you know what a frappe is.

34) When you know what the phrase "BIG DIG" means.

35.) When you actually know how to merge from 6 lanes of traffic all into one lane.

36.) When you know where and what "Southie" is. And how it is different from the South End.

37.) When you are proud to drink a Sam Adams and think that the rest of the country owes Bostonians a thank you.

38) When St. Patricks day is your second favorite holiday.

39) When you never say "Cape Cod" you say "The Cape."

40.) If you were moved when the Boston Garden was torn down.

41.) When you think that people like Roger Clemens, Wade Boggs and Derek Jeter are more evil than Whitey Bulger.

42.) You went to Old Sturbridge Village, Plymouth Plantation, or both, on a field trip in grammar school.

43.) You're aware that there is some town, somewhere in MA, named Brimfield where they have the biggest outdoor antique market in the world.

44.) You can drive to the mountains and the ocean, all in one day.

45.) You have a special place in your heart for the Worcester Firefighters.

46.) If you live in Charlton City, most likely the other 99% of your family does as well.

47.) You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather dividing line.

48.) You know that P Town isnt the name of a new rap group.

49.) You know that Ludlow is 90% Portuguese and that Fall River is 90% Lebanese.

 

And,the final and most prominent way to know that you are from Massachusetts...

 

50.) You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English language.

 

A lot of these are definitely true of myself

[Ted the Poster 0]

A lot of your list is right on point Crandamaniac. If you live in NC and have never eaten Bojangles, you should be ashamed. I'm guessing you're from somewere like Gastonia or Wilmington though because I'm from Charlotte(which isn't something to brag about these days) and cow tipping is an event I have never seen, but have certainly heard about.

 

 

Oh yeah... and fuck UNC.

[Mik 0]

Well, that PA list is bullshit. I lived in PA for 18 years and I still don't know 75% of those.

 

As for the NC list, I'm moving there in August. Maybe I'll know those in a year.

[Ted the Poster 0]

What city are you moving to Mik?

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

You're from the Eastern Shore of Maryland if:

 

You think the chicken crossed the road to get away from Frank Perdue.

You've personally met Frank Perdue in public more than once.

You don't mind the smell of chicken sh!t in the summer because they outnumber you 59-1.

At one time you've raised your own chicken as a pet.

You consider yourself from the north even though you're technically south of the Mason Dixon Line.

You've been in(or on) the Assawoman.

You have a "There's no life West of the Chesapeake Bay" bumpersticker.

You actually considered supporting suceeding from Maryland to become the 51rst state.

You go to Ocean City in the winter to avoid the crowds.

You drive 20 minutes out of the way to Delaware to save the sales tax, only to waste as much money in gas getting there.

You know all the ingredients in Old Bay Seasoning and use it on just about everything.

You can shuck an oyster or pick a crab blindfolded (I can shuck an oyster, but since Im allergic to crabs, I cant pick a crab).

You don't consider it a party without at least a bushel of crabs in the summer. (doesn't apply to me)

Your idea of fine dining is the Old Mill Crab House.

You know where Mardela, Marydel and Delmar are.

The local college is known nationally for its lacrosse program and you still have no clue what lacrosse is.

You've probably never had Starbucks coffee unless you've had it somewhere else.

You like your chicken Kettle Fried from English's.

You've had to wait for a(Cow, chicken, pig, duck, goose) to get out of the road in the past week.

You wait until theres half a foot of snow on the ground to go get milk, bread and toilet paper, and only on the advice of the weatherman on the TV who said it wouldn't snow 12 hours earlier.

[The Czech Republic 0]

You know you're from Chicago when:

 

 

The "living room" is called the "front room."

I know people who do but I never did.

 

You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois, and you become irritated at people who do.

Capital offense.

 

You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the city") and you swear everything is pretty much 15 minutes away.

This is true. And in the city, those numbers can be awfully large.

 

You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Plaines" or "Lisle."

I love when people try sounding smart and saying "Day Plenn."

 

Your school classes were canceled because of cold.

Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

Yes. Also, a closing for subzero wind chill is MUCH worse than one for snow.

 

You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

It's a good thing this isn't the only determinant of these lists. BTW: Thursday was 78, Friday was 38. Splendid.

 

Stores don't have sacks, they have bags.

The inverse of many other places, evidently. And we get our bags from the Jewel-Osco or Dominick's, not Safeway or whatever.

 

You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.

Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with."

Guilty

 

Your idea of a great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the

bun. "Everything" is on it and a slice of dill pickle is on the side.

Yep

 

You drink "pop."

Yes. But in Wisconsin, it's not pop. It's not even soda. It's "sohh-da."

 

You understand that I-290, I-90, I-94 and I-294 are all different roads.

You know the names of the interstates: Stevenson, Kennedy, Eisenhower, Dan Ryan, and the Edens. But you call the interstates "expressways."

I have an encyclopedic knowledge of the greater Chicago highway system. I've been arguing with somebody over where the Ike actually starts...he says Woodfield, I say Lake-Cook Road. I know I'm right, even though it's still only IL-53 at that point.

 

You refer to anything south of I-80 as "Southern Illinois."

Or "Downstate," but hey, it's a party.

 

You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake."

It is.

 

You refer to Chicago as "The City."

It is.

 

"The Super Bowl" refers to one specific game played in January of 1986.

GO BEARS!!

Yes. And you can probably also sing at least a few verses of the Super Bowl Shuffle. (If you're super-creative, you can reassign them to WWE superstars.)

 

No matter where you are, when you hear the term "Downtown" you immediately assume they're talking about Downtown Chicago, which really is "The Loop."

More or less.

 

You have two favorite football teams, The Bears and the Packers (love to hate them).

Go Bears Packers suck blah blah blah

 

You buy "The Trib."

Well yeah, I'm not settling for that Sun-Times tabloid crap, I don't care if they have Jay Mariotti. Traditionally, the south siders go with the Sun-Times, the northwest suburbans go with the Daily Herald and Chicago Tribune, and everybody else just gets the Trib.

 

You think 35 degrees is great weather to wash your car!

Even I have standards.

 

You what goes on a Chicago Style Hot Dog.

Sure do, and will make sure that everybody knows that ketchup is not meant for hot dogs.

 

You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is.

And love it accordingly. Good chains: Rosati's and Lou Malnati's.

 

You know why they call Chicago "The Windy City," and it's not because of the wind.

 

You understand what "lake effect" is.

To say the least.

 

You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra and know which station they end up at.

I have a general clue. Riding the trains late at night = much fun in a creepy way.

 

You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847, 630, 773, 708, 312, 815.

And you can remember back when the 847 area was still part of 708.

 

You respond to the question "Where are you from?" with a "side."

Example: "WEST SIDE," "SOUTH SIDE," OR "NORTH SIDE."

 

You know what the phone number is to Empire Carpet (588-2300).

Shut up, Massholes. Empire is ours. Not yours.

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

1. You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, Okemah, and Chickasha

I'm pretty sure of these two: Eufaula (Oh-fo-la) and Chickasha (Chick-a-shay)

 

I only knew Chickasha since I knew someone from there. I'm from Texas though.

It's actually

"U-fall-ah."

Dammit I'm not a real Oklahoman!!! Oh wait...I never was.

[Angle-plex 0]

11. You refer to the capital of Oklahoma as "The City"

 

-True

 

That's fucking retarded. The midwest should die as far as I'm concerned. I nearly killed myself after living their for a few years, but thankfully I got out.

[DerangedHermit 0]

Here is a list of Long Islander stuff, if anyone gives a shit.

 

98 Signs that You Are a Long Islander

 

# Is it just me, or is every girl from Rockville Centre a bitch?

# Billy Joel said it best, "either you date a rich girl from the North Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore."

# If you're not from Long Island or NYC, you're not really from New York.

# You don't go to Manhattan, you go to "the City"

# The Belt Parkway sucks!

# You never, ever want to "change at Jamaica..."

# Nathan's and Carvel (mmm...Cookie Puss. and Cookie O'PUSS.)

# 11A. Friendly's (mmm...Fribble)

# There's never anything to do.... Come on now.... Think about what you just said.

# News 12 sucks.

# The goddamn geese are everywhere!

 

True. There's a particular place near where I live that always has a shitload of geese (the "new" Swezey's/future Briarcliffe College parking lot in Patchogue).

 

# If your parents didn't, your grandparents lived in the city.

My mom came from Brooklyn and my dad's from the Bronx -- however, he's a BoSox fan somehow.

 

# At some point in your life you or someone you know has owned an animal that came from North Shore Animal League.

 

My dog Lady (RIP) came from there.

 

# Italian ices and bomb pops.

# The feast.

# If you're from Nassau County, unless you were a deprived child you've been to Safety Town.

# If you're from Long Island, chances are you don't have to go far to see your family.

 

Almost true. My family lives in Bellport, my grandma lives in Wyandanch, my grandpa is in a nursing home in East Islip, and I have aunts/uncles in Commack, Smithtown, and Lake Ronkonkoma. Three of my aunts aren't on LI, though.

 

# The Parkways, the LIE, the Causeway, Robert Moses Bridge, 110, 25A, Deer Park Ave., Old Country Rd., Jericho Tpke, Hempstead Tpke. Northern Blvd., Sunrise Hwy, Vets Hwy.

(shakes fist at NY 25 in all its incarnations from the Queensboro to the North Fork, and at Montauk Hwy.)

 

Commack movie theatre scares you

I have a neighbor that's a manager there.

 

# You live in the shadow of the greatest city in the world, but you never go there.

# When you're away from Long Island, you love it and when you're there, you don't.

# You know that the beach sucks during the day and is the most magical place in the world at night

# You know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau simply on intuition.

# You're still waiting for a bridge to Connecticut.

# You know where the Commack Motor Inn is but, you "have never been there".

# You've never been to Times Square on New Year's Eve.

# You've tried to find the Amityville Horror house.

# You've driven around endlessly and always manage to find your way home.

# You complain about the increasing amount of malls, yet you shop at them all anyway.

# Each one of your diverse friends mercilessly makes fun of his own background.

# You love that salty smell of the ocean.

# When someone says, "what are we going to do tonight?", you know you will be visiting the ATM at some point.

# You know that the ocean makes everything a little better.

# You are proud of where you come from when it comes down to it.

# For the most part you're inconsiderate and you think that people love you for it.

# No, you don't want mustard on that burger!

# You can order a pizza pie and a soda and people will understand.

# You've never taken an MTA bus.

# You felt slighted when Snapple sold out.

# You don't associate Fire Island with gay men.

# If you wanted to, you've met Bobby Nystrom.

# You think religion doesn't affect you much.

# You miss wiffleball and running through sprinklers.

Again very true.

[Slayer 0]

You never, ever want to "change at Jamaica..."

Can one of you LIers explain this one?

 

I remember hearing some stand-up comic (maybe Chappelle) cracking about this, so I'm curious

[DerangedHermit 0]

You never, ever want to "change at Jamaica..."

Can one of you LIers explain this one?

 

I remember hearing some stand-up comic (maybe Chappelle) cracking about this, so I'm curious

I found a better explanation than I could've said.

 

For thousands of commuters, "change at Jamaica" is something they hear and do every working day. LIRR riders transfer from one train to another at the railroad's Queens depot, taking westbound trains to Manhattan's Penn Station or Brooklyn's Atlantic Avenue terminal.

I would rather take the Ronkonkoma LIRR line directly into Penn Station instead of the changing to another train at Jamaica on the other lines (I usually never have to go elsewhere in the city besides Manhattan -- the MSG shows and my sister lives in Manhattan). All the lines besides Pt. Washington converge at Jamaica.

[Slayer 0]

But why do you never ever want to change there?

 

Is it a clusterfuck? A shitty high crime area? All of the above? Worse?

 

Slayer gots to know

[DerangedHermit 0]

We're lazy. LIers don't want to get out of the train car. If you're not coming from the Ronkonkoma line (or a few shorter lines from western Nassau), chances are you'll have to transfer.

[Guest Vitamin X]

You know you're a Miami native when:

 

1. When you haven't paid for anything with a credit card in over a year.

Not true, but most people do have credit problems here, so I can see that.

 

2. You don't have a steady income but you yet find enough money to pay for drugs,

club cover charges, drinks and keeping you gas tank full.

That's the damn truth.

 

3. You've never used public transportation.

Only in Los Angeles

 

4. You can name 5 Cuban diners that serve the best arroz con pollo off the top of your head.

La Carreta, Versailles, Int'l Chicken, Montes De Oca, and Bongo's

 

5. If you're totally sick and tired of running into the glut of New Yorkers that invade

Miami every god damned holiday weekend.

Yeah really.

 

6. If you totally hate the New York Jets.

Nope. (Not a Dolphins fan)

 

7. If you totally hate the New York Knicks.

Nope. Not a Heat fan.

 

8. You're saving up money for either a boob job, liposuction or laser eye surgery.

Laser Eye Surgery, yes!

 

9. You can name 5 places to get waxed and tanned and you're a guy.

.........Goddamn it, yes.

 

10. Scarface is your favorite movie...ever.

One of them.

 

11. You fucking hate that stupid Will Smith song.

YES!!!!!!!

 

12. You think that people that don't go clubbing at least 3 times a week are geeks.

Nah.

 

13. You have no idea who the governor is or what is the state capital. By the way it's

Jeb Bush and Tallahassee.

I knew that..

 

14. You only know 2 people who went to college.

Not true at all. Everyone I know is in college. Regardless of what age they are.

 

15. You've mastered the art of negotiating with club doormen/bouncers/maitre'd at China

Grill.

Haven't been to China Grill yet, I think. Cuban Chinese places are so much better anyways.

 

16. You've cruised down Washington Ave/Ocean Drive blasting trance/techno/house/hip-hop so that everybody in a 5 block radius knows exactly what you're listening to.

Yup!

 

17. You've almost spent as much money on your car stereo and rims as the car itself.

Fuck no, but if my car was worth keeping, that would probably be true.

 

18. You haven't read a novel in over 2 years.

Also not true..

 

19. Special K is not only a breakfast cereal for you.

Mmm hmmmm

 

20. You know at least 1 stripper or porn star.

Yup, but that comes from living in LA/near San Fernando Valley.

 

21. You don't go east of washington.

That's the beach, buddy.

 

22. You know where to find a parking spot.

YES!!

 

23. You know the name of the large "alternative lifestyle" guy who dances for change at Lincoln mall

Thankfully, no. But I have seen him.

 

24. You want to smash that fucking sand castle

Mua ha ha.

 

25. You knew who Versace was before he was killed. (bonus points if you could pronounce it right)

Vur-sah-chi

 

26. You know to check to see if the tip is included.

Restaurants will rip you off any chance they get. Trust me, I work at the busiest Chili's in the country.

 

27. You know where to get an 8ball for $60

Mmm hmm.. Or better yet, a quarter ounce of bud for the same price.

 

28. You go on vacation elsewhere and bitch about a 3 am closing time

Oh fuck yes!

 

29. Dancing on a Sunday morning at 7 AM isn't a foreign concept

Nope.

 

30. YOU HATE NY'ERS!!!!

Damn skippy. This I think also comes from being from Los Angeles.

 

 

I think the list is geared more towards Miami Beach than Miami, but regardless....