I want to start a religion.

[The Czech Republic]

I was just looking at an old globe and apparently there used to be a country between Mongolia and Russia called "Tannu Tuva." Sounded like an interesting word, sort of like "Zoroastrianism." And then I figured, if some guy can found a briefly successful religion that included drinking bull piss, what's stopping me? Granted, the spread of Islam to Persia and Armenia killed it dead, save for part of present-day Bombay, India, but hey, it's worth a shot. I figured I have some ideas.

 

Look at L. Ron Hubbard. He made up a bunch of crap about how aliens invaded the earth which cause us to have negative thoughts, which can only be purged and dispelled through buying a series of even wackier books and donating money to the church. That's the biggest bunch of malarkey I've ever heard, and Tom Cruise lives by this!

 

So what do I have to do? Get my ideas streamlined, and then take the big risky step of declaring myself a prophet? I mean, once you do that, you've crossed the Rubicon. If you're wrong, you're going to hell. If not, you win!

 

I don't know what I'm going for with this. But I'll jsut keep going.

[razazteca]

Your cult has no followers. You are a false profit. You're going to hell.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

You need a hook, and a proper target audience. The rest does itself.

[Cran Da Maniac]

Make sure you have lots of catchy chants

[Guest MikeSC]

Avoid the whole mass suicide thing. Tends to harm enrollment.

 

And celibacy is probably bad.

 

Always remind them that to give to the church makes god happy.

-=Mike

[Guest Fire and Knives]

This has been done much, much better than you're going to do it.

 

K.

[Guest netslob]

hell, you couldn't do any worse then any of the existing religions.

[Guest Salacious Crumb]

You have to make it trendy like scientology then a bunch of celebrities will flock to it.

[1234-5678]

Do it up like David Koresh where you get to bang all the broads so you can "spread the Messiah's seed."

[Guest Dynamite Kido]

Do it up like David Koresh where you get to bang all the broads so you can "spread the Messiah's seed."

that's right.

 

remember, if you can't use religion to get pussy, what can you use............

[Guest croweater]

Date rape drugs.

[Guest Dynamite Kido]

Date rape drugs.

Meh, that's the same as religion anyway......

[Guest croweater]

Everyday priests give wine to teenagers, kids, minors, everyone!

 

But Michael Jackson give's one little drip to a boy, in the privacy of his own home and everyone's all "He's a molester......... he's a chiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllllllddddddddddddddddd molester"

 

[/Michael Jackson mark and random Tom Green quote mode]