Today at Work

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

I was fucking stocking produce like the fucking dog that I am and I saw this little ass kid. He kinda glare in closer and that motherfucker looked exactly like Bob Barron. He had the exact same glasses and goofy ass grin as the affable Mr. Barron. Instantaneously I thought of TSM....it was the lowest part of my day.

[Use Your Illusion 0]

Just so you know, I'm a University student, in my second year with an exceptionally high grade point average.

 

I'm smart, good looking and live on one-nighters during my holidays.

 

Life is grand.

 

Carry on.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Yeah but you're a Taker mark.

[Use Your Illusion 0]

I've had my moment.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Weren't you going to get fired?

 

And did he have the pseudo-beard, too?...

[justsoyouknow 0]

Just so you know, I'm a University student, in my second year with an exceptionally high grade point average.

 

I'm smart, good looking and live on one-nighters during my holidays.

 

Life is grand.

 

Carry on.

Why would I care?

[Ripper 0]

Just so you know, I am a young, ungodly attractive artist, who has 10-somes and 30-somes on a daily basis. As a matter of fact, I having sex right now and typing this with my toes.

[justsoyouknow 0]

Everyone needs to stop talking to me.

[Ripper 0]

Everyone needs to stop talking to me.

I think they have.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Weren't you going to get fired?

 

And did he have the pseudo-beard, too?...

I thought I was. I shoulda been. They took my shit like the employee-friendly business that they are.

 

No, this child unfortunately did not have the beard...but I am sure in 2 years their peach fuzz will look better than barrons.

[justsoyouknow 0]

I think they have.

Then stop addressing your posts to me.

[Zack Malibu 0]

Just so you know, I am a young, ungodly attractive artist, who has 10-somes and 30-somes on a daily basis. As a matter of fact, I having sex right now and typing this with my toes.

Ripper=OJ Hart 2.0

[Slayer 0]

Just so you know, I am a young, ungodly attractive artist, who has 10-somes and 30-somes on a daily basis. As a matter of fact, I having sex right now and typing this with my toes.

With at least ten women there, you should be utilizing each and every single appendage you have.

[Guest MikeSC]

I was fucking stocking produce like the fucking dog that I am and I saw this little ass kid. He kinda glare in closer and that motherfucker looked exactly like Bob Barron. He had the exact same glasses and goofy ass grin as the affable Mr. Barron. Instantaneously I thought of TSM....it was the lowest part of my day.

Shoulda chucked a pineapple at him. Not because he looked like Bob Barron, but because you're f'n Memoirs of Chevy. He doesn't look at you without your blessing.

 

Got to keep it real, man.

 

Besides, it'll either expedite the "getting fired" thing or get one of the cashiers to take you in the back and ride you.

-=Mike

...Now, if all of the cashiers are ugly, it is a much less attractive option...

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

A pineapple would be one of the worst pieces of fruit to throw. Not aerodynamic at all. I think his course of action was the best. There's better ways to get fired than that.

[Guest MikeSC]

A pineapple would be one of the worst pieces of fruit to throw. Not aerodynamic at all. I think his course of action was the best. There's better ways to get fired than that.

But pineapples have those sticky things on the outside and if you aim just right, you can break the kid's glasses --- likely making him cry.

 

Oh, I can think of better ways to get canned --- but few that would be more enjoyable.

-=Mike

[Guest FrigidSoul]

an avacado is the best piece of fruit one can throw to cause humiliation. Some think its the orange, but that is false as its like throwing a softball. The apple? Well if ripe the apple can be deadly and you would get raped in prison if you killed somebody with an apple on accident. The avacado though is aerodynamic, easy to throw, and always has a good chance to go splat.

[Guest MikeSC]

an avacado is the best piece of fruit one can throw to cause humiliation. Some think its the orange, but that is false as its like throwing a softball. The apple? Well if ripe the apple can be deadly and you would get raped in prison if you killed somebody with an apple on accident. The avacado though is aerodynamic, easy to throw, and always has a good chance to go splat.

Good point. Never woulda considered an avocado.

 

BTW, if you killed somebody with an apple, you'd be the MAN in prison. It's easy to kill with a kinfe and a gun --- killing with produce takes TALENT.

 

Any anal rape you suffer will be out of admiration, not solely to make you somebody's bitch.

-=Mike

[Slayer 0]

Yeah, really

 

If anything, you should be dishing out the rapes in prison if you can kill with produce, because you could turn prison food into a weapon of mass destruction

[Guest FrigidSoul]

Well it all depends on how you kill the person with said apple.

 

If you just chuck it really hard and hit somebody in the back of the head causing a skull fracture and aneurysm then you're not hardcore.

 

If you ram the apple as hard as you can down somebody's throat, breaking teeth along the way and make their throat take the shape of an apple, then scream like a madman and piss on their fallen body you won't be fucked with.

[Ripper 0]

I think they have.

Then stop addressing your posts to me.

I said they. Notice how no one else is talking to you.

[justsoyouknow 0]

WHOOOSH

[Ripper 0]

You are fined $500 for incorrect use of the term WHOOSH~!.

 

 

You can pay TheDames on your way out.

[Guest Eyeball Kid]

abandon thread

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

aye Cap'n Inc.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

I was thinking of pushing him over while squeezing lemon juice in his eye.

[Guest FrigidSoul]

If you were to do that then you should go all out. Put gloves on and then cut open a jalapeno pepper and smear the juice on his fingers. No matter how much you wash the juices remain stuck to your fingers for a couple days. Thus if he picked his nose his nostrils would burn or if he rubbed his eyes it would feel like mace.

[Art Sandusky 0]

You are fined $500 for incorrect use of the term WHOOSH~!.

 

 

You can pay TheDames on your way out.

Or pay me.

[Use Your Illusion 0]

Just so you know, I'm a University student, in my second year with an exceptionally high grade point average.

 

I'm smart, good looking and live on one-nighters during my holidays.

 

Life is grand.

 

Carry on.

Why would I care?

I was being a smartass, ass.

[justsoyouknow 0]

So was I.