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cynicalprofit

If someone wanted to dispose of a body,

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

Lava would be a safe bet. Live anywhere near a volcano?

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Guest MikeSC
Explain the massive amount of blood from the skinning and chopping....

You could always claim that you nicked yourself while shaving and, well, you tapped a geyser.

-=Mike

...Then chant "E-C-W!" as they try to handcuff you...

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  • 1. Find an incinerator you can access late at night.

2. Take the body there.

3. Insert body into incinerator.

4. Bust out marshmallows and sticks.

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Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes

Kill a hobo. No one would notice he's gone, and there'd be no leads.

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There are some horrible, stupid ideas in this topic. Really though, with today's technology, there is no perfect murder. This stuff would have worked 20-30 years ago, certainly not now. They can trace anything.

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Guest Danny Dubya v 2.0
There are some horrible, stupid ideas in this topic.

Oh shit, don't tell me that wasn't the whole point of this thread. To post stupid outlandish ideas.

 

 

 

 

 

...

 

I feel so cold and naked right now.

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I would have to go the route of taking the body to a pig farmer and feeding it to about 20 to 30 starving pigs. Pigs eat anything

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I wonder if this would work......

 

 

 

 

Strangle, smother, or poison your victim on a boat. Wrap the body up in a bag, tie some weights on it, and throw it into the ocean.

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Did for the majority of pirates sailing the ocean but it didn't for Scott Peterson

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Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes

I think my last idea...or one of them would work, except I need something poisonous, not aspirin.

 

Otherwise, everything I or others mentioned would get someone caught....except the incinerator idea..that might work.

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Guest I Got Banned for Sucking
Just burn everything. Come home say oh my god, my place is burning and act even more shocked when a body is found in the house. "Who the fuck was in my house" should be your answer to them. They will believe you because you said "fuck".

You think it's worth burning your house down...?

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Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes

Hire a hitman, when he kills the guy, then kill the hitman after refusing to pay, because he'll try to attack you and self defense murder is better than just regular murder.

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Have you ever heard of Richard Kuklinski?

 

He killed people by spraying cyanide on them. One time he froze a guy, thawed him out and left him in the woods, but he still had ice in his blood.

 

Granted, you won't get Cyanide Spray just anywhere, you lazy bastard.

 

Also, ever heard of how Georgi Markov died? Umbrella which stabbed him and shot a thing of ricin into him. Good luck finding that.

 

As for the poisoned person. Cut them to pieces and try to get most of the blood in the toilet.

 

Or type up a suicide note, put the corpse in your car, drive to bridge, put the note on the corpse and throw it in the river.

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Ok here's my suggestion. Find a girl that just fucked another guy and carefully beat her to death. When she's found, they'll find his dna and go after him.

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