SWF Internet Rumors, 6/12/2004!

[Ace309 0]

- Rumor has it that there’s a hotel room booked in Moline, Illinois, under the name “Mr. and Mrs. Michael Craven!” Does this mean that the Nightmare will be wrestling a dark match, or even showing up on the pay-per-view? Only time will tell.

 

- Despite problems wrestling with his demons, Jamie Drazon has been brought back for 13th Hour. This may or may not be a one-shot deal, but apparently he’ll be working in the most recent incarnation of the Jay Dawg gimmick, putting his martial arts skills at the forefront. Rumor has it that Danny Williams was pushing for Jay Dawg to be brought back in his “Drunken Master” incarnation and beat people with a sack of urinal pucks as an inside joke for some of the ‘smart’ fans, but Alex Zenon nixed it.

 

- Austin Sly is none too happy about being left off the pay-per-view, and reports differ about whether he’ll be on television at all. The ones that make the most sense have him wrestling the main event on the Frost pre-show and then making a promo appearance on the pay-per-view telecast, perhaps as a guest commentator in the Cruiserweight match.

 

- Tom Flesher has reportedly been holding “meetings” backstage with the participants in the Five Wounds match, explaining to them that the public image of the SWF is on the line and encouraging them to forget the comic nuances of the match and focus on sound wrestling. The competitors have reportedly been ignoring him.

 

- Speaking of Five Wounds, rumor has it that Ann Onita was slated to play Ebony, but the higher-ups nixed it for fear that she’d be recognized. Instead, Aecas called in a favor, and his current significant other will likely be playing the part instead.

 

- NTD is attempting to work his way back into the federation by abusing Austin Sly’s backstage relationship with Crow. Reports differ as to whether Crow gives a shit.

 

- As expected, Kibagami has been delegated the task of mapping out the Last Man Standing match against Toxxic. This would normally fall to a road agent, but Kibagami has been involved in at least 17 other successful Last Man Standing matches on pay-per-view, and like the World War II bombing runs that Germany recycled for the strikes in Kosovo, the feeling backstage is, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

 

- Alan Clark and Landon Maddix are both training like crazy to get their cardio up for their epic Iron Man match on pay-per-view. Clark has been seen jogging the streets of Moline for nearly 120 minutes daily, pushing further and faster every day to make sure he’s ready. Maddix’s training regimen remains secret, but fans have reported that Megan Skye must be helping with the workouts, as they’re often seen emerging from the sauna together, drenched in sweat and clad in towels.

 

- Finally, from the media front: Mr. Galatea has been reported as having a guest host role on “Open Mike with Mike Bullard,” one of Canada’s top-rated late shows; the hope is that he can pull Canadian fans away from Letterman and Leno and get them to watch Canadian content. The Guy Lombardo Bridge will be sitting in as his band. Ace Lezaire, meanwhile, has been contacted by Law and Order: Special Victims Unit for a one-shot guest role. If the show, in which he’s slated to play a pedophile, goes well, he may be brought back as a recurring character.

 

Credit: HotPandaLuv.net

[muzz 0]

Mariska Hargitay is hawt.

[Hank Kingsley 0]

Oh god, this is so tremendously excellent.

[King Cucaracha 0]

I disagree. It's tremendously excellent.

 

Yes, there is a difference.

[Ace309 0]

I prefer to think of them as tremendously sexcellent.

[Toxxic 0]

They're awesome, anyway. I particularly like the bit about Crow not giving a shit. And I find it tremendously excellent that we have an e-fed that we can create smarkish rumours about!

[Sly 0]

I have two rumors, yay!

[King Cucaracha 0]

I prefer to think of them as tremendously sexcellent.

Well, they DO come from HotPandaLuv.net, so that's clearly obvious.

 

Or is that obviously clear?

 

*head explodes*

[muzz 0]

EAT AND DANCE, HITLER

[Hank Kingsley 0]

Muzz has the most spectacular sig image ever.

[King Cucaracha 0]

Magnificent.