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Rawknight

Much More Maddix

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The voice of the announcer matches the plain white text lighting up the screen

 

Announcer: The following is a paid advertisement on behalf of Landon Maddix.

 

The text fades away as the scene fades in on Chris Card, seated in a luxurious office, his glamorous gothic PA Natasha sitting on the desk showing a tantalising amount of leg coming out of her sharp black business suit. Card himself is wearing a new custom tailored suit of his own, the technical perfection logo prominent on his jet black tie. Card speaks with a metered tone, his voice coming out clean and clear so everyone can understand the message.

 

Card: Do you yearn for more out of professional wrestling? Do your friends chide you at the procession of freaks and losers, hardcore maniacs and straight edge preachers, stoic square jawed superheroes who prove all too fallible at the key moments? Do you want new faces, new ideas? Do you want somebody you can look at and say “I am proud to be a wrestling fan because of this man!”

 

The camera shows shots of Landon Maddix at a photo shoot, striking poses for the cameras as they click, showing off his chiselled if not immense physique. Maddix wipes his floppy blond hair back behind his ever-present bandana and smiles as two gorgeous blonde women walk into shot and pose with the young cruiserweight star.

 

Card: What you need is Much More Maddix. You see when your champion is a psychotic freak of nature and every challenger has tried and tried before oh so many times, some success stories, some perennial failures, why not ask for something new. Why not ask for Much More Maddix? After all, as one of the finest professional wrestling trainers in the country I have an eye for talent, and given all the choices the federation had to offer I opted for Landon. But don’t just trust the greatest professional opinion you’ll hear in the federation. Trust the average wrestling fan.

 

Cuts between several interviewees, ranging from young kids to grizzled old “this stuff was better in my day” wrestling vets, and each one with the conviction of your average infomercial panellist gives a similar answer.

 

“I like Landon Maddix”

 

“Landon Maddix should be World Champion already”

 

“Landon Maddix is my favourite wrestler”

 

“LANDON! WOOO!”

 

“It’s time to PREPARE FOR LANDON!”

 

Cut back to card sitting smiling behind his desk.

 

Card: Now to all those young new talented guys in the back, I ask you why stand alone and be wheat in field of chaff when you could join with us and form a new team, a winning team. We’re looking for tag wrestlers, hardcore wrestlers and even a few new lone wolves to turn this alliance into a stable. And all you people at home can see everyone agrees, and YOU should agree too. Why choose second best, when the best is staring you right in the face? Why back a loser when the odds are stacked in this man’s favour? Why waste your support on those of a lower class? Why not call, write or e-mail your support by sending these three words right to the SWF’s head office and demand…

 

And with the last words of the promo the screen fades to black and the stark white text returns

 

Card: MUCH MORE MADDIX.

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