Guest Cerebus Report post Posted June 24, 2004 Incredible. JUNE 24--While seated on the bench, an Oklahoma judge used a male enhancement pump, shaved and oiled his nether region, and pleasured himself, state officials charged yesterday in a petition to remove the jurist. According to the below complaint filed by the Oklahoma Attorney General, Donald D. Thompson, 57, was caught in the act by a clerk, trial witnesses, and his longtime court reporter (these unsettling first-hand accounts will make you wonder what's going on under other black robes). Visitors to Thompson's Creek County courtroom reported hearing a "swooshing" sound coming from the bench, a noise the court reporter said "sounded like a blood pressure cuff being pumped up." Thompson, the complaint charges, even pumped himself up during an August 2003 murder trial. The AG's petition quotes Thompson (pictured above) as admitting that the pump was "under the bench" during the murder case (and at other times), but he denied using the item, which was supposedly a "gag gift from a friend." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Damaramu 0 Report post Posted June 24, 2004 *packs bags* I'm out of this fucking state..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted June 24, 2004 Ho-lee shit. This is the guy my opera will be about. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Fook Report post Posted June 24, 2004 I love the fact that he didn't just whack off, but rather took the time to shave, lube up, and use a pump. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Cerebus Report post Posted June 24, 2004 The actual petition is hilarious because it is in dry, legal, beraucratic language. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedHermit 0 Report post Posted June 24, 2004 Was it JR? Was he thinking about STONE COLD? STONE COLD! STONE COLD! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
2GOLD 0 Report post Posted June 24, 2004 I sense a future Danny Devito comedy Toss in Adam Sandler or Ben Stiller as the PA who knows all about it and tries to help him keep it secret and we have box office GOLD! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lil' Bitch 0 Report post Posted June 24, 2004 I remember some judge in France last year got busted while playing with his wee wee in court. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest CronoT Report post Posted June 24, 2004 I sense a future Danny Devito comedy Toss in Adam Sandler or Ben Stiller as the PA who knows all about it and tries to help him keep it secret and we have box office GOLD! Oh yes, it will be even better and worse than Big Daddy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedHermit 0 Report post Posted June 24, 2004 I remember some judge in France last year got busted while playing with his wee wee in court. French men have penises? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye 0 Report post Posted June 24, 2004 I'd be ok with this. At least we know the guy will have one less thing to occupy his mind so he can concentrate on the trial. Less pent up feeling and hormones and all that so he has a better chance to stay impartial to his emotions. win. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted June 24, 2004 Headline: Here Comes The Judge. Magnificent. His excuse is equally admirable as the act. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes Report post Posted June 24, 2004 Well this is....odd. How can a JUDGE do this in COURT?! Privately, no one would care...I don't think, but jesus, don't people have patience these days? He could've easily called for a one hour recess to do his business. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rob E Dangerously 0 Report post Posted June 24, 2004 he's wearing a toupee too Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boner Kawanger 0 Report post Posted June 25, 2004 I would think all judges do this. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Last Free Voice Report post Posted June 25, 2004 Well, if i already hadn't of lost faith in the legal system, this would do it. Man, what a fucked up world. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted June 25, 2004 It must have been a boring trial. How did he shave himself while sitting back there? You'd have to look at it while doing that so that you don't nick something important. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedHermit 0 Report post Posted June 25, 2004 Thompson, the complaint charges, even pumped himself up during an August 2003 murder trial. This makes me hot. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarvinisaLunatic 0 Report post Posted June 25, 2004 MILFORD, Conn. - A man has been jailed for six months on a contempt charge after dropping his pants and mooning a judge. Richard Brown, 38, as jailed Wednesday after an outburst in front of Superior Court Judge Patrick Carroll. Smith shouted insults and obscenities after the judge had told him to address the court as "sir." "Sir? Kiss my (expletive), sir!" Brown shouted, dropping the pants of his two-piece prison jumpsuit and pointing his rear end at the judge. Carroll summarily sentenced Brown to six months in prison for contempt of court. Brown continued to shout taunts and expletives, including allegations that court officials are "racist" and "devils," as he was restrained by state marshals and forcibly escorted through the side door of the courtroom to a holding cell. Brown's outburst came during a plea hearing, during which he was expected to plead guilty to armed robbery and conspiracy to commit robbery, in exchange for a maximum sentence of 15 years in prison, suspended after 10 served. After the outburst, the prosecutor withdrew the plea agreement. Brown is next due to appear in court Nov. 24. Courtrooms are becoming rather interesting places these days.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Fook Report post Posted June 25, 2004 Smith shouted insults and obscenities after the judge had told him to address the court as "sir." Who's Smith? (No Matrix jokes please) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoff 0 Report post Posted June 25, 2004 "We can talk about other things, like bands you like...girls who have broken our hearts......the Matrix..." *slam* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boner Kawanger 0 Report post Posted June 25, 2004 Brown continued to shout taunts and expletives, including allegations that court officials are "racist" and "devils," as he was restrained by state marshals and forcibly escorted through the side door of the courtroom to a holding cell. A preview of Michael Jackson's upcoming appearance in court, perhaps? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Drury37 0 Report post Posted June 26, 2004 (these unsettling first-hand accounts will make you wonder what's going on under other black robes) Did they really have to use the term first-HAND accounts I mean that just sounds awful when used in this context. Thanks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boner Kawanger 0 Report post Posted June 26, 2004 Yes, they did, because that is the proper term and- oh, Jesus, I can't explain this for so many reasons. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rob E Dangerously 0 Report post Posted June 26, 2004 (these unsettling first-hand accounts will make you wonder what's going on under other black robes) Did they really have to use the term first-HAND accounts I mean that just sounds awful when used in this context. Thanks. Good thing it wasn't George the Animal Steele masturbating. Eww.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted June 26, 2004 I've got a courtroom story. Buddy of mine just got out of jail, was telling me about some clown in the courtroom who got some piddly shit sentence. Anyway, after he'd gotten sentenced, everything was on paper and settled, the judge asked him something and he answered, then added "...you cross-dressing faggot." Apparently the whole courtroom erupted with laughter. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedHermit 0 Report post Posted June 26, 2004 I've got a courtroom story. Buddy of mine just got out of jail, was telling me about some clown in the courtroom who got some piddly shit sentence. Anyway, after he'd gotten sentenced, everything was on paper and settled, the judge asked him something and he answered, then added "...you cross-dressing faggot." Apparently the whole courtroom erupted with laughter. I didn't know Kotz was a judge. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLAGIARISM! 0 Report post Posted June 30, 2004 Oh man, America gets better. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
