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Judge makes love to his hand


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Guest Cerebus
Posted

Incredible.

 

JUNE 24--While seated on the bench, an Oklahoma judge used a male enhancement pump, shaved and oiled his nether region, and pleasured himself, state officials charged yesterday in a petition to remove the jurist. According to the below complaint filed by the Oklahoma Attorney General, Donald D. Thompson, 57, was caught in the act by a clerk, trial witnesses, and his longtime court reporter (these unsettling first-hand accounts will make you wonder what's going on under other black robes). Visitors to Thompson's Creek County courtroom reported hearing a "swooshing" sound coming from the bench, a noise the court reporter said "sounded like a blood pressure cuff being pumped up." Thompson, the complaint charges, even pumped himself up during an August 2003 murder trial. The AG's petition quotes Thompson (pictured above) as admitting that the pump was "under the bench" during the murder case (and at other times), but he denied using the item, which was supposedly a "gag gift from a friend."
Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

Ho-lee shit.

 

This is the guy my opera will be about.

Posted

I love the fact that he didn't just whack off, but rather took the time to shave, lube up, and use a pump.

Guest Cerebus
Posted

The actual petition is hilarious because it is in dry, legal, beraucratic language.

Posted

I sense a future Danny Devito comedy

Toss in Adam Sandler or Ben Stiller as the PA who knows all about it and tries to help him keep it secret and we have box office GOLD!

Posted

I remember some judge in France last year got busted while playing with his wee wee in court.

Guest CronoT
Posted
I sense a future Danny Devito comedy

Toss in Adam Sandler or Ben Stiller as the PA who knows all about it and tries to help him keep it secret and we have box office GOLD!

Oh yes, it will be even better and worse than Big Daddy.

Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes
Posted

Well this is....odd. :throwup: How can a JUDGE do this in COURT?! Privately, no one would care...I don't think, but jesus, don't people have patience these days? He could've easily called for a one hour recess to do his business.

Guest The Last Free Voice
Posted

Well, if i already hadn't of lost faith in the legal system, this would do it. Man, what a fucked up world.

Posted
MILFORD, Conn. - A man has been jailed for six months on a contempt charge after dropping his pants and mooning a judge. Richard Brown, 38, as jailed Wednesday after an outburst in front of Superior Court Judge Patrick Carroll.

 

Smith shouted insults and obscenities after the judge had told him to address the court as "sir."

 

"Sir? Kiss my (expletive), sir!" Brown shouted, dropping the pants of his two-piece prison jumpsuit and pointing his rear end at the judge.

 

Carroll summarily sentenced Brown to six months in prison for contempt of court.

 

Brown continued to shout taunts and expletives, including allegations that court officials are "racist" and "devils," as he was restrained by state marshals and forcibly escorted through the side door of the courtroom to a holding cell.

 

Brown's outburst came during a plea hearing, during which he was expected to plead guilty to armed robbery and conspiracy to commit robbery, in exchange for a maximum sentence of 15 years in prison, suspended after 10 served.

 

After the outburst, the prosecutor withdrew the plea agreement.

 

Brown is next due to appear in court Nov. 24.

 

Courtrooms are becoming rather interesting places these days..

Posted
Smith shouted insults and obscenities after the judge had told him to address the court as "sir."

 

Who's Smith?

 

(No Matrix jokes please)

Posted

"We can talk about other things, like bands you like...girls who have broken our hearts......the Matrix..."

 

*slam*

Posted

Brown continued to shout taunts and expletives, including allegations that court officials are "racist" and "devils," as he was restrained by state marshals and forcibly escorted through the side door of the courtroom to a holding cell.

 

A preview of Michael Jackson's upcoming appearance in court, perhaps?

Posted
(these unsettling first-hand accounts will make you wonder what's going on under other black robes)

Did they really have to use the term first-HAND accounts I mean that just sounds awful when used in this context.

Thanks.

Posted
(these unsettling first-hand accounts will make you wonder what's going on under other black robes)

Did they really have to use the term first-HAND accounts I mean that just sounds awful when used in this context.

Thanks.

Good thing it wasn't George the Animal Steele masturbating.

 

Eww..

Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

I've got a courtroom story. Buddy of mine just got out of jail, was telling me about some clown in the courtroom who got some piddly shit sentence. Anyway, after he'd gotten sentenced, everything was on paper and settled, the judge asked him something and he answered, then added "...you cross-dressing faggot." Apparently the whole courtroom erupted with laughter.

Posted
I've got a courtroom story. Buddy of mine just got out of jail, was telling me about some clown in the courtroom who got some piddly shit sentence. Anyway, after he'd gotten sentenced, everything was on paper and settled, the judge asked him something and he answered, then added "...you cross-dressing faggot." Apparently the whole courtroom erupted with laughter.

I didn't know Kotz was a judge.

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