Hogan Made Wrestling Posted July 9, 2004 Report Posted July 9, 2004 http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=stor...fp/us_vote_food WASHINGTON, (AFP) - Americans allergic to the subtle Democratic flavor of Heinz ketchup can now plunge their "freedom fries" into a 100-percent guaranteed, patriotic alternative: "W Ketchup." "You don't support Democrats. Why should your ketchup?" says the W Ketchup Internet site wketchup.com, which promises a totally US-made condiment, right down to the bottle. The only thing dumber than the ketchup itself is the fact that people will probably buy it.
Guest Fook Posted July 9, 2004 Report Posted July 9, 2004 I patiently await the day restaurants divide their tables up into different sections for each political party - each with their own set of condiments.
Art Sandusky Posted July 9, 2004 Report Posted July 9, 2004 We can't call it French Fries or Toast either? Well shit. I've never called it "egg toast" in my life.
kkktookmybabyaway Posted July 9, 2004 Report Posted July 9, 2004 Sadly, I grew up on Heinz ketchup and will continue to do so until I die...
Guest FrigidSoul Posted July 9, 2004 Report Posted July 9, 2004 What political party does my cheap generic store brand ketchup fall in line with?
Dr. Tom Posted July 9, 2004 Report Posted July 9, 2004 What if someone uses catsup instead of ketchup?
Guest T®ITEC Posted July 9, 2004 Report Posted July 9, 2004 And what of my beloved fry sauce? WHAT, WHAT I ASK YOU
Slayer Posted July 9, 2004 Report Posted July 9, 2004 What if someone uses catsup instead of ketchup? They're in way over their head
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted July 10, 2004 Report Posted July 10, 2004 What makes fancy ketchup fancy? I seriously want to know.
Nevermortal Posted July 10, 2004 Report Posted July 10, 2004 What makes fancy ketchup fancy? I seriously want to know. The small amount of British ejaculate.
Red Baron Posted July 11, 2004 Report Posted July 11, 2004 God damn freedom fries, ITS FRENCH FRIES. Soon we will have Freedom Dressing, Freedom Toast, Freedom Vanilla, Freedom Kissing, Freedom Tickler, Freedom Stuart...
Hogan Made Wrestling Posted July 11, 2004 Author Report Posted July 11, 2004 God damn freedom fries, ITS FRENCH FRIES. Soon we will have Freedom Dressing, Freedom Toast, Freedom Vanilla, Freedom Kissing, Freedom Tickler, Freedom Stuart... That one has already been done, sadly enough. Oh, I didn't even catch this part of the story. It actually might be WORSE than the ketchup, if that's possible: Star Spangled Ice Cream was also launched last year as a conservative alternative to the produce of Ben and Gerry's, the ecology-leaning company whose founders Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield had supported Democrat Dennis Kucinich (news - web sites)'s unsuccessful campaign for the presidential nomination. Among the flavors offered by Star Spangled Ice Cream: "I Hate The French VANILLA (Real American Vanilla, NOT French Vanilla)" and "Nutty Environmentalist (Rich Buttery Ice Cream with Roasted Pecans)."
Guest FrigidSoul Posted July 11, 2004 Report Posted July 11, 2004 Enviromentalists taste like pecans? I find that hard to believe.
MarvinisaLunatic Posted July 11, 2004 Report Posted July 11, 2004 I can't wait to start making Freedomed (frenched) Lamb Chops.
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted July 11, 2004 Report Posted July 11, 2004 Marvin, hey, you know food. What makes fancy ketchup fancy? Nevermortal just gave me his recipe for a bloody mary in his post.
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted July 11, 2004 Report Posted July 11, 2004 Actually, fuck this waiting. I'm calling the ketchup company. Seriously.
Guest FrigidSoul Posted July 11, 2004 Report Posted July 11, 2004 Its Sunday. High ranking Ketchup officials don't work today.
Der Kommissar Posted July 11, 2004 Report Posted July 11, 2004 I did a google search: And came up with this. The term "FANCY" refers to the USDA Grade A Ketchup that is a standard of identity. US Grade A or US Fancy tomato ketchup possesses a better color, consistency, and flavor, and has fewer specks and particles and has less separation of the liquid/solid contents than US Grade B or US Extra Standard Ketchup and US Grade C or US Standard Ketchup. Substandard tomato ketchup fails to meet the requirements of US Grade C or US Standard.
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted July 11, 2004 Report Posted July 11, 2004 Its Sunday. High ranking Ketchup officials don't work today. I hate the Sabbath. The one time in my life I have a legitimate question for the ketchup people, and they're CLOSED. Tomorrow, are they ever going to hear from me. If what Will is saying is correct, I'd like to see this Grade C ketchup.
Art Sandusky Posted July 11, 2004 Report Posted July 11, 2004 Man, George Washington is gonna be pissed.
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted July 12, 2004 Report Posted July 12, 2004 Ketchup office business hours start at 10:00..two more hours, you fancy motherfuckers.
Dr. Tom Posted July 12, 2004 Report Posted July 12, 2004 The important people won't talk to you, though. They still have swelled heads over their product being named a vegetable the the Reagan administration.
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted July 12, 2004 Report Posted July 12, 2004 Quiet, Tom, I'm still on the phone with these people.
Guest FrigidSoul Posted July 12, 2004 Report Posted July 12, 2004 Ask them the difference between Ketchup and Catsup while you're talking to them.
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted July 12, 2004 Report Posted July 12, 2004 Ok. I got some customer service bozo on the phone after some talking. Turns out the Fancy moniker is indeed an indicator of ketchup "grade." The grade C stuff is mostly what you'll find in jails, soup kitchens, etc. Government Ketchup, basically. I asked specifically. Catsup and Ketchup: Only difference is the spelling. This is according to the fine people at Hunts. You have no idea how glad I am to have gotten closure here.
Guest FrigidSoul Posted July 12, 2004 Report Posted July 12, 2004 Catsup and Ketchup: Only difference is the spelling. This is according to the fine people at Hunts. That's fucking brilliant. You have picky eaters out there(like Inc) who will say "I only eat Catsup...Ketchup is too (bullshit reasoning here) for me" and will then choose the higher priced of the two. Every new bussiness owner should strive to become like the ketchup corporations in the end.
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