The OAO Rudo + Czech fuckabout thread

[The Czech Republic 0]

WILL Randy Orton take the sensible route again when dealing with Evolution?

 

WHO will play the part of Matt Hardy's Samoan cousin?

 

WILL a firewall once again prevent Matt Hardy from seeing naked women?

 

CAN Chris Benoit make the A-show?

 

WHO will be eliminated from the Diva Search?

 

WILL we be able to tell by name?

 

CAN Czech Republic, Zsasz, and NY Untouchable recreate the magic?

 

Find out at 8 pm Central on Monday Night Raw!

[UZI Suicide 0]

I think you forgot the clever topic description, which every OAO Raw thread needs.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

"Sensible" Randy Orton is the greatest thing to come out of RAW. EVER.

[The Czech Republic 0]

"Sensible" Randy Orton is the greatest thing to come out of RAW. EVER.

He just knows when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em, that's all. It's what I look for in a manI meant champion

[Guest Trivia247]

"Sensible" Randy Orton is the greatest thing to come out of RAW. EVER.

probably during a HHH pedicure treatment Orton will Run in chairshot and then run away. HHH hops to his one foot after everyone realizes Orton chairshot his foot and now his nail polish on his toes is messed up....

 

HHH so mad he is Spitting Sierra Mist!

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

"Hey, I'd fight you right now if I could, but with the rules stacked against me in that way, I don't think it'd be very..."

 

*pause*

 

*crowd waits for it*

 

JR: He's gonna say it King!

 

"...Sensible..."

 

*CROWD POP!!!*

 

King: HE SAID IT!

 

"For me to participate tonight. I'll just sit this one out, if you don't mind."

 

*Crowd chants "Randy"*

 

*HHH looks into the camera with DISGUST and ANGER. Flair is flipping out and Batista is pissed.*

 

*Randy goes off and gets in his car, but not before doing a 360 check to make sure there is nothing obstructing his path(crowd goes nuts). He then enters the car and makes sure to check his mirrors and puts on his seatbelt (crowd jumps up and down). He then leaves with a busted taillight clearly shown*

 

JR: Hey, what the hell?!?!

 

King: His car!!! That's not very safe!

 

*camera shows HHH smirking and Flair and Batista realizing the master plan*

[The Czech Republic 0]

Amanda Bynes IS Sarah Honeywell.

 

Randy Orton IS...ASX: Action Hero XTreme.

 

 

 

Oh Randy, face it. We're doomed. The serum that we need is in that laboratory, and to get it, we'll have to climb that burning mountain! We'll never do it. The Russians are just gonna win this one.

 

Not so fast, Sarah. We can do this.

 

Randy! There's no way! You...we....we just can't! Not even our bodysuits can withstand the heat. We'll never save Dr. Chase without that serum, and we can't get there like this.

 

We can't get there. But where we can get is another lab in Portland that has the same serum, but cheaper. It's just 40 miles west. Let's go.

 

 

Oh, Randy, you were right! We're alive, we've got the serum, and we had enough money left over to go through Steak n Shake! I love you, Randy.

 

I love you too, Sarah. And Steak n Shake's very accommodating low-carb selections.

[Vyce 0]

I have no idea what drugs you gents take on a DAILY basis, but I think I need some of them, and in large quantities.

 

If I could bottle your magic and sell it to the world, I would. And what a glorious day that would be.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Resistance is futile, Mr. Orton! You're caught in a force field with three of my most highly trained zombies. They will....

 

...EAT YOUR BRAINS.

 

Or not. I can just hit this well-placed off button.

 

CURSES! You win THIS round, Randy Orton. Or do you? Perhaps my zombies beg to differ.

 

BRAINS...BRAINS...

 

Nice try, dead boys. But it's time for the Orton Express to ride outta town.

 

DRAT!!! Well...wait. Aren't you at least going to slay them?

 

In this dress shirt?

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Help Randy, Help me.

 

HAHHAHA Mr. Orton. I have the LOVELY Ms. Honeywell TRAPPED above a pool of Hydrofluoric ACID!

 

What sort of knot is she tied in?

 

 

It looks like a standard knot Randy, and this rope is poorly made too.

 

 

You monster

 

 

Now you have a choice Mr. Orton, you can save your precious Ms. Honeywell OR...

 

 

...save these 3 babies!! You must make a choice RANDY ORTON!!

 

 

Well... 3 lives are more than 1... I'm sorry Sarah...

 

 

I guess it is the right choice...

[The Czech Republic 0]

There's only one way to settle this, Mr. Orton, settle it once...and FOR ALL.

 

I'll accept any challenge you make, with honor...and sensibility.

 

Then it's settled! A sword fight! The winner of this sword fight will be the man who lives to tell the tale. Draw your blade, for the end is near for one of us! Now is the winter of your discontent!

 

*bang*

 

Orotn...you BASTARD! I...thought...we would duel with swords! How...how could you...go back...on your honor...

 

Swords are outdated, and inefficient for this task. Besides, Jeopardy! is on at 3.30 and I think I can beat that Ken guy.

[JoeDirt 0]

This is the greatest RAW thread ever.

 

EEEEEEEEEEEEVER~!

[Guest TigerDriver91]

This is the greatest RAW thread ever.

 

EEEEEEEEEEEEVER~!

I second that statement.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Randy didn't just go home to watch, he flew out to L.A.

 

Now Randy. You led both Keith and Debbie by over $40,000. In fact, both were in negatives and disqualified after Double Jeopardy. You stand to break the all-time record for single-day winnings if you wagered enough with the correct response. You seemed confident. You said you were always a big 70s prog fan. And your response:

 

 

Well, Randy...I must say, I'm shocked to say the least. You knew there was no way to lose, and you had so much to gain. Why did you settle for only $52,401, when you could've easily had $104,800? Why?

 

I like to play it safe, Alex.

[Guest CronoT]

Captain, I'm picking something up on long range sensors.

 

Put it on screen, Lieutenant Worf

 

Coming up on screen now, Captain.

 

My God, is that Q?

 

Worse, Captain. Sensors indicate it is Randy Orton.

 

Well, we're certainly fucked now.

 

Yes, Captain, we are.

 

First the World Championship, then the universe. Die, bitches!

[JoeDirt 0]

Czech, the Jeopardy shit? AWESOME.

[USC Wuz Robbed! 0]

 

Kids, that's what happens when you smoke marijuana.

 

 

 

 

 

(in reference to CronoT)

[Guest CronoT]

 

Kids, that's what happens when you smoke marijuana.

 

 

 

 

 

(in reference to CronoT)

So I like Star Trek. Plus, it's 2 in the morning.

 

[The Czech Republic 0]

Oh, Randy! First you beat the Emperor and his zombies, then you won on Jeopardy. I used to think there was nothing you haven't done...then I realized...

 

...yeah, I know where this is going...

 

Randy. Take me. I've waited long enough. I want you so bad. Give it to me now. You ARE Randy Orton. You ARE the World's Heavyweight Champion.

 

Hold it, Sarah. Aren't you 16?

 

That may be true, but I'm a woman at heart. Now please Randy, I'm so full of desire I can't wait any longer!

 

Now as you can see, you can't be too young to win the World Championship, , but there is something you CAN be too young for: intimacy. Are you sure you want that morning sickness? Are ten seconds of pleasure worth nine months of agony, Sarah?

 

Oh, Randy, why was I so blind? Let's cuddle on my family room couch and watch the sun rise.

[JoeDirt 0]

Way to play if safe, Randy...

 

Randy Orton: Teaching us all family values.

 

[The Czech Republic 0]

KJ Brackish, I see you reading. Don't post or you'll regret it.

[Guest CronoT]

Oh, Randy! First you beat the Emperor and his zombies, then you won on Jeopardy. I used to think there was nothing you haven't done...then I realized...

 

...yeah, I know where this is going...

 

Randy. Take me. I've waited long enough. I want you so bad. Give it to me now. You ARE Randy Orton. You ARE the World's Heavyweight Champion.

 

Hold it, Sarah. Aren't you 16?

 

That may be true, but I'm a woman at heart. Now please Randy, I'm so full of desire I can't wait any longer!

 

Now as you can see, you can't be too young to win the World Championship, , but there is something you CAN be too young for: intimacy. Are you sure you want that morning sickness? Are ten seconds of pleasure worth nine months of agony, Sarah?

 

Oh, Randy, why was I so blind? Let's cuddle on my family room couch and watch the sun rise.

Presenting, the plot of every crappy after-school special ever made.

[muzz 0]

Stop quoting everything.

[Guest CronoT]

Stop quoting everything.

Quoting is fun.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Randy, Sarah, thanks for coming to our wedding. I assume you two will be getting married soon, too?

 

I'm waiting for the government to lower the marriage penalty.

 

...yes. Now I remember that when my brother Steve got married, your daddy Bob got him a huge supply of porn. Huge porn. Everything a man could want. And your uncle Barry O rented out a male strip club in Vegas for his wife Bonnie. Now we were talking, and we said, "Those Ortons, they sure do get kinky! Hell they have a dildo collection in their basement, right by the shot glasses! Dildos SHAPED like shot glasses, too! I bet lil' Randy is gonna get us something we can have some fun with, if you catch the drift."

 

 

Go ahead. Open it.

 

It's a washer/dryer set. It's not even that, it's a certificate that says we can pick up our washer-dryer set at the loading dock at the Sears in Woodfield. Thanks...that's so...

 

You don't have to tell me.

[Guest CronoT]

If this isn't archive worthy, I don't know what is.

[UseTheSledgehammerUh 0]

Hey Czech, enough with the fucking broken images and lame fucking stupid images, already. DELETE THIS AWFUL THREAD, which has NOTHING TO DO WITH RAW BUT INSTEAD A BUNCH OF FAT-KID WHACK-OFF WEDDING PHOTOS.

[Guest T®ITEC]

Quit your crying. This is so good that I don't even have to watch RAW now.

[UseTheSledgehammerUh 0]

Eh, whatever. Sorry for liking chat on pro wrestling shows and not geeks on parade.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Eh, whatever. Sorry for liking chat on pro wrestling shows and not geeks on parade.

I guess when it comes to chatting about what's happening on Raw 19 hours before it starts, I'm just not trying.