Rowe's first ever video review.

[SamoaRowe 0]

Yes, my friends. I have purchased the Great American Bash 2004. Was it a worthwhile purchase, considering much of the IWC considers this show to be the all-time worst pay-per-view in WWE history? Actually, I've seen worse PPVs, and this one was a breath of fresh air from the two awfully dull Raw pay-per-views Bad Blood and Vengeance. There are good parts of the GAB, but what's bad is very bad.

 

United States Championship: John Cena © vs Booker T vs Rene Dupree vs Rob Van Dam

 

This match was actually quite well done, though there are a few annoying parts. Cole and Tazz make a case to point out that Booker T takes the time to just stand outside the ring and watch the others fighting, but when Rob Van Dam does the same thing, it's not really a big deal. Likewise, Rob Van Dam eliminates himself from a match yet again, after delivering frog splashes onto both Dupree and Booker T, John Cena gets the cheap cover on RVD. Not a very good way to keep Cena over as a face in front of the live crowd, eh? After that, Booker T gets to pin Dupree, and then Cena and Booker T get a good little show-down to foreshadow the upcoming best of five series. Eventually, Cena wins, and the live crowd is still happy.

 

Match rating: *** Nothing too special, but very entertaining match.

Cena retaining was a good idea, kept the crowd happy. With what was to follow, they NEEDED to have something to be happy about.

 

Next, we see Charlie Haas and Ms. Jackie hanging out in the backstage area, and Haas is all dressed up to wrestle... even though he wasn't previously announced on the card. It's little things like this that I wish WWE would pick up on. Either way, Luther Reigns and Mr. Angle stop by and harass young Haas, and Angle is quite critical of how far down Haas has gone since being a part of Team Angle. Ooh, consistent storytelling, this I like. Angle then books Haas against his new protege, Luther Reigns, and the crowd goes mild.

 

Next, Sable interviews herself, in a segment that was designed to torture me.

 

Charlie Haas vs Luther Reigns

 

Mr. Angle slaps Luther before the match, to which Luther responds by smiling. The smile is soon gone and Luther is all business. Good intensity from Haas starts up the match, as he corners Luther. This does not last long, as Luther eventually gets the upper-hand and attempts to dominate. The two men have clashing styles, but manage to make a decent story out of it as Haas tries to wrestle but Luther tries to brawl. The crowd comes close to turning on the match (I think I heard a few fans scream "boring" but no chants) and Mr. Angle is at ringside giving Luther commands. In the end, Luther does his own version of a power bomb and Haas is done.

 

Match Rating: **. Not as bad as others have made this out to be, I prefer this over the Jericho/Batista match at Vengeance where Batista made me hate the surf-board stretch. This match also told a better story and did a good job of making Luther look good without killing the wrestling credibility of Charlie Haas.

 

Next, we get an angry JBL promo. He's upset over the out-come of Judgment Day, and this time he's promising victory and a WWE title win in his Texas Bull-rope match against the champion, Eddie Guerrero. Not a bad promo, but not as good as his post-title win promos.

 

Cruiserweight Championship: Rey Mysterio © vs Chavo Guerrero

 

After Jacquelyn and Chavo Classic enjoyed reigns as Cruiserweight Champion, this match was a welcome return to the norm. Mysterio and Chavo put on a good clinic of how to build up a match here, as they started things off slow and continued to build to a good finish. Not too long into the match, Rey is thrown outside the ring and buckles his knee. From here, Mysterio does a good job of selling the knee injury, yet being able to perform his high spots in a way that suggests he can only still pull off these moves out of sheer will since he's hurt. Rey manages to kick out of an excellent Gory bomb at one point, that I would have bought as a finish except for Michael Cole proclaiming that the match would be over. Once Cole does this, you know it's not. In the end, Rey gets the win, the crowd is happy once again, and some credibility has been restored to the Cruiserweight title.

 

Match Rating: ***3/4. Not quite a four star affair, but a very very good match-up. Their No Way Out match had more heat, but this was technically a better worked match, as Mysterio looked good in victory and Chavo didn't look weak in defeat.

 

We go back to the hot tub, as now Torrie Wilson is sharing it with Funaki, Spike, and Billy Kidman. The best part is when Torrie stands up, all three gawk at her in her bikini, including Kidman, who is actually married to her and presumably gets to sleep with her on a regular basis. Funaki states "God Bless America" which is funny, but then later becomes a catch-phrase of Kenzo Suzuki.

 

Speaking of which...

 

Kenzo Suzuki (with Hiroko) vs Billy Gunn

 

The best part of this match is Michael Cole getting pissed at Tazz for constantly mispronouncing "Hiroko." Kenzo enters the arena to no heat whatsoever, while Gunn gets the "Hey, we know who you are!" pop. The match is absolutely awful, as it is stretched out to seven or eight minutes or so (their two minute Smackdown match was much more enjoyable). Gunn goes for an awful looking fame-ass-er, but Suzuki comes back and gets the victory (with little to no help from Hiroko, who had played a big role in the first Gunn/Suzuki match by throwing white powder into Gunn's face). To Suzuki's credit, he does manage to pick up some heat during the match, but this was still seven or eight minutes of my life that I will never get back.

 

Match Rating: DUD. This match wouldn't even be an acceptable house show match.

 

Next, we see Paul Heyman with a tied up Paul Bearer. It's funny to me that WWE thought that Bearer would be a good sympathy character. Heyman goes on and on about how Undertaker must "do the right thing" in the Concrete Crypt match against the Dudley Boyz, or he will be buried in concrete. He won't reveal what the "right thing" is exactly, but we can only assume it's lay down for the Dudleyz. What bugs me most about this whole angle is that we are supposed to believe that Heyman and the Dudleyz kidnapped Paul Bearer on nation television and have him held prisoner and are going to kill him in front of a live crowd unless the Undertaker loses a match. This is asking a bit too much of the audience if you ask me, we can only stretch our disbelief so far.

 

Sable vs Torrie Wilson

 

This match is not even worth me recapping. Sable used to be a half decent worker, what the hell happened? Torrie Wilson has made no progress on her in-ring work since she came to WWE, so this was the usual awful Torrie match.

 

Match rating: DUD, say no more.

 

Back to the hot tub, Dawn Marie is interviewing Rene Dupree, who is still pissed off about not winning the United States Championship. Dupree does try and hit on Marie, informing her that the French are known to be great lovers, when the FBI shows up. Nunzio points out that he wears a size 15 boot and "you know what they say about people with large feet." It takes Dawn Marie a few seconds to figure it out, but when she does she delightfully accompanies Nunzio off screen. Johnny Stamboli then takes the time to point out how small Dupree's feet are. The FBI crack me up, it just kills me that they are never pushed.

 

Hardcore Holly vs Mordecai

 

Mordecai actually gets a decent little pop from the audience, as you can see people standing up for his entrance. Hardcore Holly's reaction is basically "What the hell, you still work here?" It's kind of funny to me that after this match, WWE deemed Mordecai unworthy of being on the active roster and sent him back to OVW, yet he has a better match with Holly than Suzuki had with Gunn. Suzuki is still on Smackdown, so what the hell? Anyway, this match had a great finish as Mordecai countered an Alabama Slam into his version of The Razor's Edge. 'Nuff said, as Mordecai makes a jobber out of Holly before being demoted.

 

Match rating: 3/4* If only for not being a DUD.

 

WWE Championship: Eddie Guerrero vs John Bradshaw Layfield

 

This is a Texas Bull-rope Match. This means the two superstars must remain attached to the bull-rope and have to touch either corner of the ring consecutively without having their momentum halted by their opponent. This turns out to be a really great match after an awkward beginning, as JBL and Guerrero get more accostomed to having the bullrope around their wrist. Lots of great spots, with Guerrero trying to make it to the fourth corner, but JBL attaching himself to the opposite ropes. JBL attempts to put Guerrero through the Spanish Announce table, but fails. This leads to a brawl that recreates the chair shot from Judgment Day, but this time with JBL on the receiving end. JBL bleeds, though no where close to the gore-fest that was Eddie Guerrero at Judgment Day. JBL eventually does manage to use Eddie's momentum against him and Eddie goes flying on the the Spanish Announce table. With Eddie in a daze, and the table still standing, JBL powerbombs Eddie through the table. This would normally be a good thing, but JBL cannot win the match without Eddie in the ring. Eddie attaches himself to the ring ropes just as JBL did earlier, preventing JBL from winning the match. Eddie manages to mount a come-back, and they find themselves both touching the corner turnbuckles instead of trying to stop each other's momentum. This leads to both of them needing to touch the last one, with Eddie trying to jump over JBL to touch it. It seemingly works and Eddie is crowned the winner to a HUGE pop! This could have been a glorious moment in Eddie's career, until Mr. Angle comes back out and reverses the decision, showing footage of JBL's back hitting the corner before Eddie's hand. The winner is John Bradshaw Layfield, your new WWE Champion.

 

Match Rating: ****. Awesome match, very innovative and both men worked their asses off. Unlike Judgment Day, I didn't feel like this was Eddie carrying Bradshaw, but Bradshaw carrying his own weight as well. I would have given this match a higher rating if it weren't for the severe bad taste left in everyone's mouths by the decision reversal at the very end. JBL as champion just pisses everyone off.

 

Concrete Crypt Match: The Undertaker vs The Dudley Boyz

 

THIS IS A MAIN EVENT?!? Wow, just wow. The match starts off horribly, with Paul Heyman interupting everytime Undertaker is gaining some momentum, threatening to pour more concrete on Paul Bearer (which he does). Finally, Bubba Ray Dudley gets pissed and orders Heyman to cut it out and have some faith in the Dudleyz. Bubba won overness with me for that. After that, the match goes on solid enough, though it's really no better than your typical Smackdown match. 'Taker battles off both Dudley Boyz and gets the pin on D-Von. Heyman gets pissed and goes to pour the rest of the concrete on Bearer, when lightning strikes the concrete truck. So Undertaker has saved Paul Bearer then? Nope, Undertaker inexplicably picks up Heyman's microphone and states "I have no other choice. Paul, rest in piece!" Undertaker then proceeds to pour the concrete on Paul Bearer himself, to which the crowd responds with deafening... silence. So Undertaker turns heel by killing Paul Bearer? This is quite possibly the worst ending to a pay-per-view since Austin dropped that car that supposedly had Triple H in it at Survivor Series 2000. Honestly, I hate this entire storyline, but after this show it was brought up again once on Smackdown. Undertaker found some way to justify his actions and turned face again right away.

 

Match Rating *. Would have been a fine Smackdown match, but had absolutely no place being the main event of a Pay-Per-View. The Concrete Crypt stipulation was terrible and must have looked even worse to the live crowd, who would then see Bearer rescued from the crypt the second the cameras stopped rolling.

 

Final thoughts: The three title matches are all good to excellent, though it was depressing to see Guerrero's title reign come to an end at the hands of JBL. However, everything else on this show is either very mediocre or despicably bad. Gunn vs Suzuki had no business being on a Pay-Per-View, Reigns vs Haas was thrown on at the last moment, and Mordecai vs Holly was added because the two of them got into a random brawl on the previous Smackdown. All in all, this felt like the first ever Velocity Pay-Per-View (and most of the cruiserweights are still left out regardless). This show isn't as bad as Judgment Day 2003, which had even less going for it, but I would say rent this and watch the three title matches and nothing else.

[JoeDirt 0]

Nice review. I can't believe you bought this show, though! (j/k)

[SamoaRowe 0]

Nice review. I can't believe you bought this show, though! (j/k)

Hehe, believe me, I can't believe I bought it either.

 

I guess having a Best Buy discount helps

[Guest Prof_Plague]

Hehe, believe me, I can't believe I bought it either.

 

Sometimes it's fun to own crap. ...Like a movie fan owning "Glitter". Or watching the Survivor Series with the Gobbledy Gooker.

[SamoaRowe 0]

Hehe, believe me, I can't believe I bought it either.

 

Sometimes it's fun to own crap. ...Like a movie fan owning "Glitter". Or watching the Survivor Series with the Gobbledy Gooker.

You got that right, and I still say the GAB isn't the worst wrestling dvd I've ever had. In fact, the JBL/Eddie match was better than anything on any pay-per-view they put on this summer.

[SamoaRowe 0]

I just felt like I needed to bring this back.

 

If i ever get around to buying the Summerslam DVD, I'll write a review on that.

[SamoaRowe 0]

I never bought the Summerslam dvd, because just about every match on it is nothing that would be new or fun to me. I would like to do another DVD review soon.

 

So I'll let any readers choose

 

Wrestlemania XX or No Mercy 2004?

[gWIL 0]

No Mercy

[SamoaRowe 0]

No Mercy

Hehe, good choice. Unless some more votes come in, I'll work on a review of that show (if I can stay awake during it).

[Guest Dean]

Pretty good review.

 

Just a shame most of the card is Velocity type matches and the 3 great title matches will always be overshadowed by that horrible main event.

 

Keep em' comin

[Guest qujexz]

All in all, this felt like the first ever Velocity Pay-Per-View

touche

 

nice review, pretty much exactly what i thought

 

and yeah, judgement day was worse..

 

that is actually a real shocking statement...

[Aero 0]

I'm a little late on commenting, but you left out the best part of the plot holes to the Haas-Luther match: WWE.com announced it the day before the PPV.

[SamoaRowe 0]

I'm a little late on commenting, but you left out the best part of the plot holes to the Haas-Luther match: WWE.com announced it the day before the PPV.

Oh, it did? I hadn't noticed, I didn't know they were going to wrestle until the show was in progress. Either way, it's a hole (would Haas really be there in wrestling gear if he wasn't booked on a predetermined card?).

[Lil' Bitch 0]

TheManErnieRowe even bought GAB 2004, he's hardcore! Now lets you see review Taboo Tuesday!

[SamoaRowe 0]

TheManErnieRowe even bought GAB 2004, he's hardcore! Now lets you see review Taboo Tuesday!

LoL. We'll see about that one, right now I'm planning to write a review for No Mercy 04 after Xmas.