JoeDirt 0 Report post Posted October 31, 2004 You know, I like e-wrestling, it can be fun. But it has to be GOOD. And when it's not, it can be really, really funny. Take this show I found on the net, for instance. Enjoy! ======================================================== The lights go out and pyro shoots from the stage area and fireworks fill the ceiling of the arena as War IV is on the air!!!!!! Ted Dibiase is at the commentators desk when out comes Hollywood Hogan and Scott Hall, they have Stacy with them and they are not Happy at all!!!!! Dibiase - Hollywood , what do you expect to accomplish here with this stunt ? Hollywood - Well let me tell you something Million Dollar Man, this is exactly what I am going to do, I am gonna cause Randy Orton to go down on his knees, I am gonna make him shake in his boots brother , this is his Ol'Lady and when I am done with her if he doesn't do what I want , heh heh , she is gonna be NwO 4 Life if ya know what I mean Bra!!!! Dibiase - Ha ha ha ha ha ha, you are a brave soul Hollywood but that is what makes you the best in the biz!!!! At that moment , the music for Generations starts up and out comes Randy Orton, but he is not alone he has AWFChris with him and they are headed to the ring! Hogan - Hey , you guys better have some news for me or we are comin to the freakin ring and we are gonna wipe the 2 of you out completely!!!! AWFChris - Shutup !!!!!!, Shut your lowlife stinkin mouth Hogan, I am tired of thise shit and it is gonna stop right here, I made a mistake in not booking you guys for one damn show and you go out and you kidnap Stacy Keibler , your lucky I don't press charges on you for this but I won't, infact Randy Orton has come to me and he has decided on his own free will to do something about it himself!!!!!!! Hogan looks like he is not amused! Randy Orton - Hogan, I am not gonna say this more than 1 time, you are without a doubt the most incredibly cowardist man I have ever had the sorry priveledge of knowing and what you are doing is hainous however, what you have done has made it so you will get what you want but only if you give us what we want. You WILL let Stacy go if wee do this one thing for you , right? Hogan - Boy your starting to dig your hole what is it ? Orton - Well since you want me in the ring and I want you in the ring , I have the solution to our problems on boith sides , In exchange for Stacy Keiblers release , AWFChris and I have agreed to make the World Heavy Weight Championship match at Faction Wars a Triple threat match,,,ONLY IN EXCHANGE FOR STACY'S RELEASE!!!!!!!! Hogan - Heh heh heh , you know what guys, your on, BUT I want to see it in writing or what we did with your bitch is gonna seem like a vacation compared to what we will do next time!!!!!! Hogan lets Stacy go and she runs to the ring and to Randy Orton, he embraces her and Hogan starts to walk off the stage when,,,,, AWFChris - Hey Hollywood!!!!, I am not through with you yet!!!!! You wasn't on the card for tonight but I have changed that as you will now face Batista in Hoovermans place and Hooverman is now in a Tag Team match with Randy Orton and Ric Flair !!!!!! Chew on that HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!!!! Hogan and Hall are ranting and raving then Hogan looks at Hall and he whispers something into Halls ear and Hogan says, Hogan - Ok, you got it Chris, It will be my pleasure to kick that steroid freaked ass!!!!!!! Show goes to commercial,,, Stinger coming soon,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Dibiase - Well , now that situation changed things drastically so we can move on and that Ho Stacy can take on Miss Booty and get hers as I don't think Booty is gonna tolerate her takin the belt! Stacy Wylde - This match is one fall for the Womens Championship, coming to the ring first is Miss Booty!!!!! Stacy Wylde - Her opponent a member of the Generations Faction, Stacy Keibler!!!!! Dibiase - Wow , I will say it, that Stacy does have legs and a ass at the top whoooo, Hot hot hot!!!!!!!!! The 2 girls go toe to toe They start to slap each other which gives Booty the advantage , she grabs Stacy in a headlock and drops her face first on the matt OUCH!!!!!! Booty gets the cover this quick Ref 1-2- noooooo Kick out Dibiase Well it sure was close and I don't think Booty even thinks the match is still goin, Stacy knows though she rolls Booty up from behind!!!!! Ref 1-2-3 Winner!!!!!!! Stacy Keibler!!! Booty - Nooooooooo, you bitch I am gonna kill you. Booty attempts to grab Stacy by the hair but Stacy runs up the ramp as Booty is left in the ring . Make a donation for a chance to win a $100,000 Harley Davidson Dibiase - I am pissed now, That bitch Stacy Keibler is now Womens Champion and she sucks , literally!!!!! Our next match is up!!!!!!! Stacy Wylde - This next match is for 1 fall and coming to the ring first a member of the famed Geberations Ric Flair!!!!! Stacy Wylde - His opponent is from the NwO and is also a tag team partner in the XFactor, he is Matt Hardy!!!!!!!!! Dibiase - Here we go baby, NwO in the house and we are gonna do some serious biz here as Flair is goin down to the X Factor Ha ha ha ha ha ha..... AWFChris is on his way to the announce desk and he has a mic in his hand, AWFChris - You gentlemen in the ring , keep doing your job as this will not affect you, Dibiase , get your big ass up and take MY headset off your head! Dibiase - What the hell is goin on here CHris you said I had this job secured! AWFChris - Well when Hogan and your NwO buddies started to mess with the way things were on our agreement, I decided to bring in someone that does this much better than you do JR and The KING!!!!!!!!The best in the biz baby!!!!!!!!! Dibiase - Your gonna pay for this dude, you are really gonna regret this!!!!! AWFChris - I alrady did pay for this and I never regret anything , now get the hell off of my set!!!!!!! Dibiase gets up and he leaves the set , then as Jr and King get to the table the crowd cheers for them!!!!! Jr - Thank you Chris, I always knew you was a man of good morals . King - Ya , Thanks Chris, I like it here and with all the heat on all the factions I think this is the best action on the net right here in the AWF!!!!!!!!! AWFChris - Well I am gonna shoot straight with ya Jr , you are the best in the biz and King you are the perfect side kick even though your a perv, oh well, I will leave you men to do your job!!!! Jr - Flair has Matt Hardy down on the matt in a Leglock and he really has it sinched in King! King - Sure does Jr and might I add that I am glad to be here in the AWF again . Jr - Sure is , I have never had a better job in my life as when I worked here because AWFChris is TheMan when it comes to ethics!!!! Flair , still wrenching that leglock in on hardy,,,what the hell King , there goes The NwO Show down the ramp and why the hell is he looking over at us? King - OOOOOOhhh , I dunno Jr but I hope he doesn't wanna get us , he weighs more than both of us at the same time! Jr - Sure does but he is headed to the ring and I think he intends to get paybacks on our accounts, I smell a Million Dollar Rat! Show is getting into the ring and Flair approaches him, Matt ardy hits F;air from behind and down goes Flair!!!! This doesn't look good King , F;air might be done if he doesn't get help now, here comes Batista and Orton, they jump into the ring and start to battle it out with MHardy and Show until the NwO brothers fall out of the ring and the Generations Legend is saved once again!!!! Backstage,,,,,, Hogan - Brothers, we are in a War situation now. What I am talking about is this here for example, Ted Dibiase, possibly the best announcer ever and he was replaced by has beens Jr and King by AWFChris, now I know he owns the AWF but he isno problem for the NwO brothers as he needs us to keep this bucket open , without us it closes and we are going to have it out with those jabronis Generations and DX, they are our real enemies and I am gonna keep fighting them until the AWF is ours!!!!!! You are all in right? Hall , Nash , Luger the hardy boys and show all cheer with Dibiase as their manager and they are ready to do battle Jr - Well King , we have just witnessed what is goin on here and I for one am damn glad to be here as witness to all of it!!!! King - Couldn't have said it better Jr, these guys are all as serious as they come and I for one am damn scared of the NwO and what they will do next , look at the facts , they kidnapped our Womens Champion and then held her captive until Hogan got his way into the triple threat match at Fatction Wars, Now we are back and I feel like we are right in the middle of it all!!!!!! Jr - So right King we are so to speak but now lets get to our next match, Stacy Wylde - Our next match is for the Hardcore Championship coming to the ring first is from Death Valley, He is the Undertaker!!!!!!!!! Stacy Wylde - His opponent and Champion, Jeff Hardy !!!!!!! Jr - This is gonna be one of those classics we are always talkin about,it is rumored that Jeff Hardy ois not to happy with not only being NwO but in the AWF as well King. King - I don't know why anyone wouldn't want to be in the AWF Jr, this is the premeire Federation in Wrestling today, as for the NwO I can understand that after this last week but then again I am not him. Jr - Both men go collar and elbow with Undrtaker getting the imidiate advantage. King - Jeff Hardy hasn't got much of a chance of matching strength with Taker. Jr - So true King he needs to be the high flying X Factor if yu will in this match up. Undertaker has Jeffs hand and he has yelled out Old School which means he intends on trying o break Hardy's arm off that top rope!!!!! King - Yep , he is doing just that Jr , he is up on the top rope and he comes down on Jeff Hardy's arm which is so powerfull it knocks Hardt down , I'll tall ya Jr I would hate to have that happen. Jr - You aint a kiddin there King , I have seen that move done on 14 yrs of men and none of them really came away from it doin all that well! Undertaker has Jeff Hardy up and he is gonna do the last ride here which should be the , Wait what , it's Matt Hardy and he intends to pick up where Jeff is leaving off, he is on Undertakers back and OHHHHH Taker just flips him off of his back to the mat , he reached down and has him in his right hand , looks like a choke slam alla Undertaker style on Matt Hardy ! Jr - Undertaker has Matt Hardy up and he slams him to the mat , Jeff Hardy meanwhile has climbed to the top rope and he is gonna fly!!!!!!! King - That was a huge mistake Jr , I don't know what Jeff was thinking he just jumped off and landed on the mat in front of the Undertaker Jr - This could be it for Jeff Undertaker gets the cover,,, Ref - 1-2-Noooooooo Jr - Jeff Hardy kicks out and he is still in bad shape but he is not done yet!!!! Undertaker picks up Hardy and puts his head between his legs looks like it could be a set up for the Last ride King !!!! King - This will be it Jr , I have never seen anyone kick out of that !! Jr - Undertaker doesn't even get the Last Ride in because , guess who, Hollywood Hogan he is in the damn ring and why ? NwO is gonna get another win from cheating!!!!! King - Hey Jr , keep it down he might hear ya!!!! Jr - Well I don't care I wanna see good clean matches and they are making it impossible, wait , Undertaker is not running and infact he has kicked Hollywood Hogan in the mouth and now has Jeff Hardy up in a tombstone , Oooooooooohhhh Jeff Hardy just got Tombstoned , Undertaker has the cover,,,,, Ref 1-2-3 Winner is the Undertaker!!!!!!! Jr - Undertaker has overcome incredible odds but still is in danger as Hogan is calling in reenforcements!!!!! Hall, Nash and noooothe NwO Show all in the ring and they are gonna do a number on the deadman, wait a minute, they are not even looking at Taker they are looking at Matt Hardy !!!! He is in a bad way King!!!!!! King - Sure is Jr Hollywood warned them during the week if they didn't produce , ooooooooooh my I think that the X-Factor is getting X'd!!!!!!!! The NwO is giving it to Matt Hardy and his brother Jeff Hardy and nobody comes out to help them , NwO kicks there ass's real good and then they give them the brand of the NwO! Jr - I knew it, the Hardy's have been trashed and branded NwO style , just hanous!!!!! Stacy Wylde - This next match is for 1 fall and coming to the ring first is Batista!!!!!!!! Cameras are on the ramp as generations music plays and he walks down the ramp getting into the ring Then across the arena can be heard N W O Hulk Hogan makes his way down and into the ring Jr-here we go king King-yup its show time Hogan runs into batsia as he falls down batsia smiles Hogan gets up and low blows him the ref warns Hogan not to do it again. Jr-batsia picks Hogan up and throws him over the top rope as he lands on the ground by us King Just then Hogan waves his arms as batsia picks him up and power bombs him though the table Jr-good god batsia thank you Hogan you no good son of a bitch you dersve that King-wait here comes the N W O they are jumping batsia Jr-look here comes orton and flair Hogan turns around R K O ,,, R K O Orton and Flair stand there with batsia as the ref calls a double Dq Jr - This is a clue of things to come King, I really think that Generations made a huige stand, the big Match is up next between Flair Orton and Hooverman RVD, Coming up Next!!!!!!! It is amazing what bordom and a few Red Bull energy Drinks can do! Jr - Well here we are the main event featuring 4 of the top men of the AWF in Tag action here is Stacy !!!!! Stacy Wylde - This match is for 1 fall and is a Tag team affair!!!! Coming to the ring first is Team Generations and consists of Ric Flair and Randy Orton!!!!! Stacy Wylde - Their opponents are from the Team DX and they are the AWF World Champion Hooverman and RVD!!!!!! Jr - These 4 men have no love for each other but they do have some stuff in common and that is they all hate the NwO! King - Got that right Jr , I don't think that any of these men like the NwO at all in fact the NwO is less popular than it was at the beginning of this show!!!! Jr - Amen to tha,,,,,,aaaghhhhhhh.......THUMP!!!!! At that exact moment Hollywood Hogan came out to the announce desk with all of the troops and laid out Jr and King obviousl;y payback for what happened to Ted Dibiase and they went to the ring to join the others, Hooverman and RVD jumped down to the floor and Flair and Orton stayed in the ring. Hogan and Nash went into the ring and Hall , Show and Luger stayed on Hoovie and RVD, the 9 men kept fighting when all of the sudden, Here I am by the Jeff Holmes Band starts to play and out comes a person that was thought to be retired!!!!!! TheMan , he was thought to be out for life but who was he here for ? Was it DX, Generations or NwO? He ran to the ring and he started to klobber the NwO guys , in great shape and kickin ass like the old CWF Days!!!!! The only question is , DX or Generations? Orton was lookin at TheMan with bewilderment and Flair started to yell at TheMan as if he were in the wrong place at the wrong time and TheMan just smacked Flair in the mouth and out of nowhere Orton clotheslined Flair out of the ring!!!!! Flair laid outside of the ring as Orton and TheMan embraced and then started to fight everyone kickin ass like no tommorow! Meanwhile , Hogan and Show have gotten a camera and they say, Wether ya like it or not, Flair was the Best thing goin , OUT of the ring Today!!!! The show goes off the air with all the team members of each Faction slugging it out except Flair who walked to the back disgusted , and pissed!!!!! The END!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeDirt 0 Report post Posted October 31, 2004 Booty - Nooooooooo, you bitch I am gonna kill you. For some reason this just made me laugh my ass off. I hope others are as amused as I was, or else it just proves that I need help. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted October 31, 2004 I cringe at the very thought of people like that walking amongst us. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Robert 0 Report post Posted October 31, 2004 Can't be as bad as a e-fed that I came upon. Get this: Jenna Jameson (champ) in the main event and Torrie Wilson in the Hall Of Fame. This fed has been around for five years and I nobody probably wanted the fed closed so that they wouldn't have to deal with them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Copper Feel 0 Report post Posted October 31, 2004 that was all pretty dum. but my personal favourite was j.r telling awf chris that hes a man of morals. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted October 31, 2004 I cringe at the very thought of people like that walking amongst us. *vows to convince whoever wrote this to join the OAOAST* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Der Kommissar 0 Report post Posted November 2, 2004 That was hilariously bad. It scares me to think that not only are there many of those out there, but I have seen plenty of him. It actually reminds me of my friend Schmitty's work. Some of his better gems: The cage lowersas all six men enter. OMG!!! jr cooper is trapped under the cage. The cage is choking him. David man is beating on coopers chest as the cage rises. Cooper rolls out of the way. Hypnos dropkicks man down. FDI sprays fire into dantes face. Fdi goes for a springboard dropkick ddt but steele knocks him off . the cage is lowered. No way out now. Wait a minute. Joey Steele has a nerve gas grenade. He pulls out a gas mask from his tights and puts it on. He pulls the pin ahd throws the grenade. Everyone is knocked out as the smoke clears. Except joey steele. What a cheap victory. Joey steele makes it to the outside. He has stolen the match. the crowd erupts in boos. Their almost rioting. But joey steele doesnt care. He straps the ntv title around his waist and walks out smiling. The Ruiner VS. GRANDMASTER CHRISAY Chrisay is in the ring working the crowd when The Ruiner Walks out. Chrisay Flies off the ropes and hits a flying forearm that sends The ruiner into the corner. Chrisay climbs the turnbuckle and works The Ruiner over with fists. The Crowd counts along 1...2...3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10 The Ruiner hits a manhattan drop on Chrisay. Turning the tables. Ruiner picks up Chrisay. No... Chrisay reverses and then slaps Ruiner. Chrisay with a DDt. 1...2.. No!!! Eternal Damnation comes out and knocks out the ref. He picks up Chrisay and lays him out with a chokeslam. ED places Ruiners arm on Chrisay and then he rolls out of the ring. The ref is up. 1...2...3... The ruiner qualifies for the King of Hardcore tournament. Chrisay is up. Chrisay: You can take me when my back is turned but i bet u cant take me one on one. ED: No dq or no match punk Chrisay: You got it ED nails Chrisay with a chair. Ed grabs the steel steps and places them in the ring. Ed tries to send Chrisay into the steps but Chrisay reverses it. Ed is laid out. Chrisay with the cover. 1... 2... No!!! Mystic Spirit and Crimson Mask hit a H-bomb on Chrisay. Theres nothing the ref can do cause this is No DQ. Ed with the cover 1....2...3.. Winner: Eternal Damnation with some outside help from his buddies As they leave Chrisay gets up and yells at the ref. Chrisay: You screwed me Ref: It was no dq Chrisay: The first match wasnt when Damnation hit you. Dont ever screw me again. *Chrisays ddts the refs and gets a huge pop from the crowd. MARVELOUS MIMI HART VS CLOWSE Clowse is in the ring when hart comes out. MMH: You sick bastard. Women are not sex objects and youll never get me in bed. Im going to kick your ass. Clowse goes to chokeslam Hart but Mimi hits the nutcracker. 1..2...3.... No man can survive that move.[ MMH: Im sick and tired of waiting to be given equal oppurnity. NEXT week i want the winner of tonights main event in a World Title match!!! (Mr.Attidude walks out ) Nace: Listen here you listen whore!!! After i destroy that piece of crap Vampyre, Ill make you pay bitch. So you go it. (Mimi walks off and out of nowhere Vampyre nails Nace with the ringbell) Vampyre: The belt is mine THE CROW VS. NO LIMIT NAS HAMMER IN A QUALIFYING MATCH FOR THE KING OF HARDCORE TOURNEY Crow is in the ring. Nas Hamer comes out. Crow with a roundhouse kick. Hammer is in the corner and hits a gutbuster on Crow. Hammer is too much for Crow here. Hammer hits 6 chokeslams and a jackknife powerbomb.1...2....3.... WINNER: THE HAMMER MAN ETERNAL DAMNATION VS . GRANDMASTER CHRISAY AND A MYSTERY PARTNER. Eternal Damnation And Crimson Mask come out to eerie music. Then Grandmaster Chrisay walks out to a huge ovation. But where is his partner?!!! Chrisay locks up with Damnation. Chrisay hits a jawbreaker cutter followed by a inverted piledriver. He makes a cover 1.... no. Crimson Mask makes the save for his partner. Damnation capitalizes on Chrisay losing his attention for a split second and hits his finisher for the 1-2-3. Chrisay was Screwed!!! Whoever was supposed to be his mystery partner no showed. (actually it was supposed to be Mask turned on him but oh well) YOUR WINNERS: ETERNAL DAMNATION AND CRIMSON MASK [Next up is a Tv title match pitting Johnny B Bastard against WTF's KingPin Joe Kane, the current champion. The ref puts the title on the timekeepers table. Bastard is in the ring waiting as Joe kane storms the ring] KJK: Ref, why wasnt i allowed to come out with the title? ( the Ref turns his head as Bastard kicks Joe kane is the nuts. J.B.B then slides in a chair and takes out Kane's knees. J.B.B pulls the KingPin to the ringpost and works his knees over with a figure four. Kane is screaming in pain. The ref is polishing the belt. What the hell is he doing? J.B.B releases the hold and hits a crotch shot on the post. KingPin agains yells out in pain. The male fans faces turn red. Just imagining how that must feel! Bastard puts his foot on KingPins chest and flexes his arms. The ref makes the three count. Johnny B Bastard has won the TV Title!!!! J.B.B hands the ref a wad of cash and walks off with the belt. CONCLUSION: This match is really a no contest and kane is still the champ but bastard paid off the ref to get the title) Sadly, in the 6 years I was in an E-Fed with him, he never improved at writing matches or roleplay. I just don't get it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
