A Poem I Wrote About The Storming Of Fallujah

[The Czech Republic 0]

Here's my stupid poetry. I utilized the acrostic.

 

Faithless

American

Liberals

Like

Using

Jihad

As

Hope that

 

It's a

Reason

America

Quits

[Hogan Made Wrestling 0]

When I read the subtitle, I thought this was going to be a new version of Method Man's remix of the Rock's theme music.

[Guest MikeSC]

I can't believe that.

-=Mike

And don't think I forgot about you, hippie...

I already forgot. I think it was something about me needing to have the last word.

-=Mike

[Special K 0]

I can ALMOST accept poems not rhyming, but at least have a syllable scheme. Or iambic rhythm. Or anything. That's not a poem. That's just some corny shit you wrote down with random line breaks.

 

Arafat's braindead.

falluhah's soon to be gone.

A good day today.

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

My $.02.

 

The first poem sucked nine kinds of ass.

[Guest MikeSC]

My $.02.

 

The first poem sucked nine kinds of ass.

I only counted 7 kinds of ass suckage --- but I doubt you're wrong on the assessment.

-=Mike

[Guest keelebasa]

Okay, you want a real, honest critique?  It does suck.  You're basically just regurgitating anti war protests with a little bit of (bad) imagery and expecting people to love it.  Let's not forget the delusions you have in there (the innocents in Fallujah have evacuated) and nevermind the fact that it TAKES THE SIDE of the insurgents.  Why is this bad?  Because we have troops over there while whiny hippy tripe like this is being tossed around in the name of "justice" and frankly, I am so damn sick of it I can't see straight.

 

There, you happy yet?

I'm not regurgitating any anti-war protest. First of all, how can ANYONE be pro-war? Even President Bush has said he doesn't want history to record him as the war president but the peace president. I don't expect (or care) whether anyone "love" it or not. I believe the majority of innocents have left Fallujah. Do you believe every non-violent person has left? I certainly don't take the side of anyone who wishes to kill Americans. I don't take the side of anyone who wants to kill, period. I don't need you to tell me our troops are fighting in Iraq. I'm quite aware. "Whiny hippy tripe?" Really? That's just lovely. I do believe in justice for everyone, not just for America. What about you?

 

I'll be happy when this war is done. The taking of Fallujah may prove to be a step in the right direction in so far as it helps bring the end of the occupation closer to happening. Is it so very wrong for me to wish there was another solution? I wish we could find another way. Iraq isn't the end of the War on Terror. It's the beginning of the beginning of it. So we've eliminated one remote threat. We've created enough hatred and resentment around the world, especially in the Middle East and southeast Asia, that we'll have to keep on eliminating remote and not-so-remote threats for decades to come. I find that most disheartening. Don't you?

[Guest keelebasa]

Don't get too big of a head. I'm pretty sure anyone who ever wants a poem they write to get "published" can do just that. I mean, for the love of God, even I did so years ago.

My head isn't swelled. I understand the staggering number of published poets. That was hardly the point of my reply, although several posters have pounced on it like a praying mantis.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Even I'm a published poet.

[The Czech Republic 0]

No seriously.

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

Okay, you want a real, honest critique?  It does suck.  You're basically just regurgitating anti war protests with a little bit of (bad) imagery and expecting people to love it.  Let's not forget the delusions you have in there (the innocents in Fallujah have evacuated) and nevermind the fact that it TAKES THE SIDE of the insurgents.  Why is this bad?  Because we have troops over there while whiny hippy tripe like this is being tossed around in the name of "justice" and frankly, I am so damn sick of it I can't see straight.

 

There, you happy yet?

I'm not regurgitating any anti-war protest. First of all, how can ANYONE be pro-war? Even President Bush has said he doesn't want history to record him as the war president but the peace president. I don't expect (or care) whether anyone "love" it or not. I believe the majority of innocents have left Fallujah. Do you believe every non-violent person has left? I certainly don't take the side of anyone who wishes to kill Americans. I don't take the side of anyone who wants to kill, period. I don't need you to tell me our troops are fighting in Iraq. I'm quite aware. "Whiny hippy tripe?" Really? That's just lovely. I do believe in justice for everyone, not just for America. What about you?

 

I'll be happy when this war is done. The taking of Fallujah may prove to be a step in the right direction in so far as it helps bring the end of the occupation closer to happening. Is it so very wrong for me to wish there was another solution? I wish we could find another way. Iraq isn't the end of the War on Terror. It's the beginning of the beginning of it. So we've eliminated one remote threat. We've created enough hatred and resentment around the world, especially in the Middle East and southeast Asia, that we'll have to keep on eliminating remote and not-so-remote threats for decades to come. I find that most disheartening. Don't you?

Well said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But the poem still blows.

*runs away*

[Special K 0]

Shit, I got on the radio when I was in Kindergarten with a poem about my Mom that used lots of puns. And it was better than yours.

[Downhome 0]

When you say something like this:

 

(As a published poet over a dozen times my heart pains exactly zero at those 'critiques!')

 

You sure sound like someone with a big head trying to be a smartass to me.

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

Yeah, I've been published a few times as well, but I brought up Ice Cube rather than flout credentials. Respect your elders, man. Compton, Long Beach, Englewood.

[godthedog 0]

this calls for a revival of spicy's poetry thread.

 

quick, somebody bump it.

[Guest UncleKimmyGibler]

Roses Are Red

Violets aren't in the Metropolis

My Greatest Love is

Jesse Katsopolous

 

 

HOLA TANNERINOS

[Guest keelebasa]

When you say something like this:

 

(As a published poet over a dozen times my heart pains exactly zero at those 'critiques!')

 

You sure sound like someone with a big head trying to be a smartass to me.

I can't be bothered about how I sound now can I? Everyone except NoCalMike, apparently, missed the whole point of the poem. That can't be helped now. I take offense to the "big head" remark. Do you have any earthly idea how many years it took me to find a hat to fit the fine contours of my head? I wasn't "trying to be a smartass." I'm sorry to disappoint you.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Could this be the worst thread we've had in CE in recent memory?

What are you talking about? I love it.

 

And if I felt motivated, I'd bust an Ice Cube verse or two.

 

I already forgot. I think it was something about me needing to have the last word.

-=Mike

 

I think so...